Aging Capriciously

Allegro

What does writing have to do with making love? Can the changing of the seasons really be compared to an overture? What if on some primal level, we all live by an unseen rhythmic law? This law says that there is fundamentally no difference between making love and writing or between a brilliant piece of choreography and the changing seasons. Does the rhythm of the universe expect a form of symmetry to all of life? A regulated succession of strong and weak elements or of opposite and contrasting conditions becomes the master of all we do. The seasons come and go. The music ebbs and flows. Our love is gentle, passionate, sublime and tired. Mornings, afternoons, evenings and nights fuse with the spring and summer and fall and winter of our lives. The harsh gales of November echo in the overtures of Stravinsky and Beethoven. All things are one say the mystics. Is my writing one with all things? Can I form, norm, storm and perform even with mere words.

Adagio

Far be it for me to confuse philosophy with art. Greater men than I have said that there is a unity to life. We travel down our different paths often blind to the journeys of others who walk side by side with us: This one a carpenter, this one a computer scientist, this one a teacher, this one an artist and this one a hero. If I were a rich man, lord who made the lion and the lamb, would it really spoil your cosmic plan if I were a wealthy man? We are all dust in the wind but our rhythms echo down the halls of time. The most unforgettable and amazing repetitions will resonate as long as humans walk the earth. Coded in the numerous ways we have of capturing the rhythm of our lives: Some dynamic, some peaceful, some violent and some sad. We write our lyrics, pen our verses, create our stanzas and design our choreography all guided by the unseen law of rhythm. Now we are hard, then we are soft. Now we roar and now we snore.

Scherzo

Love is kind, love is considerate, love is not selfish. The waltz was a creation of times when love was more restrained. This torrent of mine was supplanted,
extending my being, your challenge. The Tango alternates patterns of space and closeness with syncopated rhythms of violence and passion. Love me tender, love me sweet, never let me go. Rock and Roll ushered in a wild abandonment of morality in the face of conspicuous sexuality. The rhythm of music often exhibits striking harmonies with the rhythm of our love lives. Can I be soft and gentle like a warm breeze but also wild and unrestrained like in the movies? What if I made love to the William Tell overture or would Shakira’s lyrics work better:

Baby I would climb the Andes solely
To count the freckles on your body
Never could imagine there were only
Too many ways to love somebody

Is it enough to alternate patterns of tenderness with patterns of inhibition? Shall I open with an allegro, then move into an adagio, followed by a scherzo and conclude with a rondo? Who would expect love to end without a crescendo? Should my love making follow the classical style or should it be more like a jazz piece?

Rondo

Whether goes my writing. I have written this in four parts to reflect my cosmic view of the rhythm of life. We form and norm and storm and then perform. Spring is the opening that brings fresh growth to our world before the bloom of summer. Summer brings the maturity and ripeness of life. Fall brings the storms and winds that signify our frailty and insignificance to the universe. Winter ends our symphony with the closure and solace that our work is done and our day is over. Our life, our work, our art, our thoughts all finished but with a hope to be reborn perhaps by someone who sees a need to continue the rhythms that we have started. Not really finality, but continuations that started before us, and will continue long after our memorials are put up. Perhaps, my headstone will have four verses or stanzas or paragraphs or perhaps like the newest greeting cards, you will be able to press a button on my tombstone and you will see a picture of me singing and dancing to a four part harmony.

Antiques and time seem to go together. The older something is the more likely we are to call it an antique. Have you ever wondered how old something has to be before it is an antique? Rocks are very old and no one calls them antiques. One person’s antiques are often another person’s junk. The one thing I notice about antiques is that people of the “time” were more than happy to get rid of them. The last thing in the world they would have thought of was to hold onto these “antiques.” Back before their “antique” became “priceless,” if they could have traded up for something newer or better they would have. However, once something becomes an “antique” we want to hold on to it regardless of how useless or out of style it may be. Antiques seem to write their own rules for style.

Those who are into antiques would never question the style of an antique in comparison to some new product. The very virtue of an antique seems to lie in its age. The fact that it is old is one of the major determinants of an antiques price. Yet in some areas of the world, things that are antiques would be new items. I notice for instance that objects in the Midwest of the USA do not have to be as old as on the East Coast to be considered an antique. Of course, the condition and rarity of an antique also contribute to the value but the defining characteristic of an antique is age.

Why do we value (some of us anyway) old things, when our current society seems to devalue anything that’s old. If we say that something is out of style, no one wants it. However if it is really old and can be called an antique, then it becomes desirable. If this is true, then perhaps more old people should be classified as antiques. It does not seem that our society really values the aged any more.

I notice that there are those who love antiques and those who find them useless. I am in the latter category. I really do not care much for antiques. I do not value age as much as functionality and most antiques are obsolete by today’s standards. I have always liked the newest and most useful gadgets that are in the marketplace. I prefer Japanese motorcycles over old Harley Davidsons. Which group are you in? Do you love antiques? Why? What draws you towards an antique? Do you value the age in people or just in things? Do you think age is important and do you show as much respect for the elderly as you do for antiques? Do you value things over people?

Let’s KILL some time today. If you are not afraid of killing time and are fearless of the consequences, here is a list my spouse suggested of time killers that she likes:

• Driving around with no place to go or reason to go anywhere
• Suduku puzzles
• Computer solitaire
• Sitting in the sun reading a book
• Sleeping in
• Playing an instrument for fun and not practice
• Window shopping when she does not plan to buy anything

These are just some of the ways that she likes to kill time. If none of the above ideas works for you, try one of your own ideas. Imagine a book not based on time management but on “killing time.” A book that is full of creative and imaginative ways to do nothing productive. Sounds sinful, like eating desert before your meal, or having two popcorns at the movie theater or goofing off when you should be working. Well, the world has a lot more books on managing time than on killing time. Perhaps a few days a year devoted to not being productive would be good for all of us. It might lower the national stress level. Indeed, a measure or Index of National Stress might be a good tool for determining how well the country is doing. Perhaps if stress levels were lower, the crime rates or at least road rage cases would fall.

How does it feel to kill time? Do you feel guilty? Can you take a day without doing anything productive? When was the last time you really goofed off and had a lazy day? Do you ever goof off at work? If we behaved more like little children, do you think we would have more fun albeit be less productive? Could you survive the guilt?

The British writer John B. Priestly once observed “A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours.” I suppose this means that other people are not keeping time for us or putting us on a schedule. How often do we “meet” the clock only because we worry about offending others? Would we be as scheduled if the feelings of our friends, relatives and employers were not an issue? Who among us would wear a watch or bother keeping time, if there were no consequences to be paid for “being late” or not being “on time?”

What if there was a vacation where you could get away from time? Let’s call it a “Time Free Vacation.” Here is what a “Time Free Vacation” would be like. No one is allowed to wear a watch. There are no schedules to be met. You can get up whenever you want to. You can eat whenever you want to and leave when you want to. Everything you want to see and do is available anytime you want to visit. There are no start and end times or open and close times. Furthermore, you do not have to be home at any special time, so you could continue this vacation as long as you desired.

How many of you would take such a vacation? Can you imagine what would it would be like to live like this for a month? How about an entire year? Do you think you would be able to come back to keeping time again? Would the world miss you while you were out of the loop?

When you go on a vacation, do you leave your watch at home? Is it possible for you to forget about time, even when you are on a vacation? What keeps you married to time? Have you ever considered a divorce? How about taking one day off a month or even a year from time? Give yourself a gift of a “Time Free Vacation.”

Two seconds can be a lifetime. Your entire life can sometimes pass before your eyes in two seconds. If you have ever had a close encounter or accident, the world can seem like it is standing still while your life flashes ahead. In two seconds, a vehicle moving at 70 mph will travel 204 feet. If you see something in the road and you blink, you have just traveled 102 feet before you have even reacted. Two seconds can mean the difference between life and death several times over.

We never appreciate time as much as when we have a close call. A close call (maybe even less than two seconds) brings us face to face with death. Your heart will beat so hard that it may feel like you have just finished a marathon. After a close call, many people go into a state of shock even without any injuries. Several years ago while on a trip to London, I stepped off the curb and looking the wrong direction (it appears buses in England drive on the left side of the street), I stepped in front of a moving bus. Karen pulled me back just before the bus would have flattened me. My heart was beating a mile a minute and I could not believe I was still alive. Karen’s admonition to be more careful mattered very little to me at this time.

After a close call is over and you have calmed down, you may reflect on how precarious life really is and perhaps on what you could do to use it more wisely. None of us need these traumas in our life, but having had several of them myself, I appreciate life a great deal more. I seldom take death lightly or for granted and while I am not morbid about it, I live each day with the possibility of death in my mind. I think these events have made me more appreciative of the brief candle that life is.

Have you ever had a two second close call? What do you remember about the event? How did it change your life? Do you take life for granted or do you live each day fully knowing it may be your last?

No time for justice! Some people do not believe that there is any justice in the world. Others believe that justice will always occur but that it just takes time. No doubt today we will hear more than we want to on this subject. With the final verdict in for the Casey Anthony trail, there is both relief and outrage over the verdict. Perhaps my thoughts on the subject of justice will be more appropriate than another opinion on her guilt or innocence. By now, most of us will have our minds made up anyway.

Do you remember a quote that describes justice grinding like an old mill wheel, slowly but inevitably. Many believe that justice will not be found in this world but only in some after life when all accounts are called to order. The Old Testament notes that “Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord.” Perhaps, we will not find justice on earth but somewhere between heaven and hell, we will all be judged and sentenced. I have always wondered where Hitler and other mass murderers would end up and what criteria could be used to judge them.

In the USA, the Bill of Rights (Amendment VI) calls for a speedy and impartial public trial for all convicted of a crime. Justice is rendered today and you do not have to wait to have justice meted out. Justice is quick, fair and impartial. Or at least, it is supposed to be. Today the wheels of justice seem to grind much more slowly than envisioned by our American forefathers. Few of us would say that most trials are speedy, never mind impartial. Perhaps if the definition of a “speedy” trial had been defined we might be better able to judge the efficacy of our present US court system. What is speedy to some of us might be slow to others. No doubt we all want justice today for ourselves. Why then does it appear that few citizens are clamoring for trials to be made speedier? Is the right to a speedy trial no longer important? Are we more willing to tolerate delays in all aspects of our lives? Have we extended this to the court system so that we no longer feel that a speedy trial is important?

Maybe we should just rewrite the Bill of Rights to make the amendment more accurate. Perhaps it should read: “You are entitled to a trial, which with lawyers and court delays might take several years before it comes to court. If you can afford a better lawyer, you will have a better chance of winning your case.”

What would you think of this change? Do you think trials should be speedy? Do you think it is important to have a speedy, fair and impartial justice system? Do you think most are? How would you feel if you were in the court system? Would you be a satisfied customer?

Naptime has always been one of my favorite moments. I love taking naps. Many people do not. There is also a stereotype in which “older” people need naps but younger ones do not need them. I have been taking naps all of my life. Ever since I can remember, I love taking naps in the afternoon. I can nap for only thirty minutes and feel so wonderful after. I remember interviewing for a job a few years ago and the “much” younger woman behind the desk kept mentioning to me that “we really need to do things fast around here.” I felt like telling her that I could not really do things that fast since I would have to nap each day right after lunch.

Is the world divided into napers and non-napers? In some parts of the world, an afternoon nap or siesta time is traditional. In other countries, the work ethic does not permit naps. Naps probably started going out the door with the Industrial Revolution; another casualty of our hectic life in the so called “modern” or civilized world. I have seen some recent articles talking about how healthy it is to take naps. Maybe it is time to start a trend or fad. Here is one way I think we could do it. Nap Parties!

We have alls sorts of parties but has anyone ever invited you over to a “nap party?” When you were a child, you may have gone to a slumber party but only if you were a girl. Men were always too macho for that kind of an activity. That was just for “silly” girls. You might argue that nap parties would not work because as our economies develop and the world gets more competitive, we don’t have time for such foolishness. We need to be more productive and get things done.

What would business and industry be like if everyone took naps in the middle of the afternoon? How could we compete on a world scale if everyone took a nap each day? Interesting, how we have become more concerned with competing and less concerned with stress and our personal health. Maybe we would all live longer and have a lot less stress if we took more naps. Perhaps like the turtle versus the hare, a little nap might help us to win the longer races.

When was the last time you took a nap? What was it like? Do you have enough naps in your life? How could you get more naps in your life? What if you took a nap today? What would others think about it?

Are you keeping time? Can the world be divided into time keepers and time ignorers? Do those folks who do not wear time pieces simply ignore time, or do they keep time in their own way? I once heard someone say that “you cannot trust a person who does not wear a watch.” Today, many people do not wear a watch. Cell phones, laptops, GPS systems and PDA’s all keep perfectly accurate time. However, are the same folks who would wear a watch actually using these devices? Are do those folks who could not care less about the time, still ignoring it despite the new array of timekeeping devices?

Time keepers tend to be worriers and somewhat obsessive. However, they also feel responsible and compelled to live up to their temporal commitments. A time keeper is dedicated to the “keeping” of good time. This means being on time, doing things in a timely manner, being alert to the passing of time and using time wisely. As with all of life, there is a time to keep time and a time to ignore it.

Time ignorers use time but are not obsessed with keeping track of time. They also keep their commitments but are less obsessed with the ritual aspects of time keeping and more concerned with the relational. It is not being on time that is important to them so much as being with time. Time ignorers live in the present and may be more concerned with the quality of the time they use. Time keeping devices cannot measure the quality of the time we use only the coming and going of time. The real secret of time may lie in finding a balance between keeping time and ignoring time.

Are you a time keeper or a time ignorer? Do the above descriptions fit you at all? Would you say that sometimes you choose to ignore time and sometimes not ignore it? Have you found the right balance between keeping time and ignoring it? If not, what do you have to do to find a better balance in your life?