Aging Capriciously

(Please listen to Buffy Sainte-Marie’s “Now that the Buffaloes Gone”)

1964.  A time of increased social consciousness:  Civil Rights marches.  Women’s Rights marches.  Free Speech marches.  Protests in the grape fields.  The Indian Movement.  The Free Love Movement.  The Whole Earth Movement.  Anti-war marches.  Lots of social commentary and inspiring folk songs written during this period by musicians such as Bob Dylan, Pete Seeger, Buffy St. Marie, Sixto Rodriguez, Richie Havens, Leonard Cohen, Country Joe McDonald, Peter, Paul and Mary, not to mention hundreds of others.   (Many others came before these, like Paul Robeson and Woody Guthrie.)

Can you remember the times
That you have held your head high
And told all your friends of your Indian claim
Proud good lady and proud good man
Your great great grandfather from Indian blood came
And you feel in your heart for these ones

The Baby Boomers (I sadly must include myself in this category) were going to change the world.  But now Bob Dylan does commercials for General Motors.  Jane Fonda married one of the richest capitalists in the world and makes a fortune on her exercise videos.   Rennie Davis became a venture capitalist.  Lenny Bruce died of an overdose.  Abbie Hoffman committed suicide.  Jerry Rubin became a business executive.  To quote Mr. Rubin: “I know that I can be more effective today wearing a suit and tie and working on Wall Street than I can be dancing outside the walls of power.”   Countless other “counter-culture heroes” joined the “establishment” and de facto “sold out.”

For my part, I never trusted any of these “revolutionaries.”  It is easy to be counter-culture when you’re “daddy’s rich and your mommas good looking.”  I knew I would have to earn a living and while my sympathies lie with the sentiments of these “revolutionaries,” my stomach lie with eating three meals a day.  They say an army marches on its stomach.  I guess a revolution will also rise or fall on the bellies of the revolutionists.  My mother being a part-time store clerk at Woolworths and my father being a post man (In the sixties there were no post-people) did not leave a lot of table scraps left over to feed my revolutionary spirit.

Oh it’s written in books and in song
That we’ve been mistreated and wronged
Well over and over I hear the same words
From you good lady and you good man
Well listen to me if you care where we stand
And you feel you’re a part of these ones

I sold out.  Joined the military.  Served honorably.  Got married.  Got a job with a major corporation and have lived happily ever after.  Except for the guilt, at not manning the barricades, my life has been pretty normal.  No jail.  No drug offenses.  No charges for treason.  No flag burning.  No tear gassing.   How much do I have to pay for taxes this year?

Nevertheless, I do get twinges of guilt from time to time (noted above).  I feel sorry for the Indians.  I feel sorry for the poor.  I feel sorry for the underprivileged.  I frequently donate to selected charities, which I suppose helps to assuage my guilt.  I would do more but I am too busy trying to pay my bills. Toys, cars, homes, vacations, clothes do not pay for themselves.

I know I am like many others.  I regret how we treated and still treat the Indians.  But I don’t want to give the country back to them.  I regret how we treated African Americans but I don’t want to pay any penalties for slavery when I never owned one.  I would love to do more for the environment but I find it very difficult to remember what plastic pails to throw out and which ones go in which bin.  I want to help the global drought but I like my showers each morning.  I am sorry we put Japanese Americans in internment camps but I don’t know if I would have done anything differently if I had been president in 1941.

When a war between nations is lost
The loser we know pays the cost
But even when Germany fell to your hands
Consider dear lady, consider dear man
You left them their pride and you left them their land
And what have you done to these ones

On my way to my exercise club (LA Fitness) this morning, I was listening to some radio commentator talking about how unfair it was too have put so many Japanese American citizens into what he called prisons for the duration of the war.  He called it a “tragic mistake.”  I thought about all of the “tragic mistakes” we have made in this country from slavery, to lynchings, to Jim Crow laws, to segregation laws, to water rights laws, to reservation laws, to the Trail of Tears, to anti-gay laws, to broken treaties, to anti-immigration laws, to laws protecting the rights of corporations over the rights of citizens.  We have made dozens if not hundreds of “tragic mistakes” throughout American history.  The good thing is we always feel really bad about them later on.  Usually when it is too late to do anything about them.

True, we screwed the Indians royally but now every Thanksgiving we can feel bad about it when we remember that they gave us corn on the cob and helped feed us until we could sustain ourselves.  True we made a big tragic mistake when we told them they could have all of the land west of the Mississippi.  Then we made another tragic mistake when we told them they could own the land and mineral rights which we gave them when we put them on reservations.  Today, we are rapidly realizing that it might not have been such a good idea to give them Casino rights.  This is a “tragic mistake” that is being rectified in many states as I speak.

We made another tragic mistake when we told women they would have control over their reproductive rights.  However, many noble Americans have taken to bombing abortion clinics and shooting abortion doctors until our noble politicians can rectify this tragic mistake.

There is no getting away from the fact, that we freed the slaves.  This might have been a tragic mistake compounded by giving them the vote and letting them marry whom they chose.   Of course, we have many loyal Americans doing all they can to help keep the “Negro” in his or her place.

Finally of course, we let all those dam immigrants into the country.  From the Indians point of view, this has been the most tragic mistake of all history.  We let the British, Dutch, French, Irish, Scottish, Germans, Swedes and Italians in.  Then we let the Somalians, Hmong, and Russians in.  Did I forget the Japanese, Koreans, Chinese and Filipinos?   Don’t worry, I have not forgotten the Latinos.  It is just that this last tragic mistake is one that many noble Americans are still trying to rectify.  Right down here in Arizona, it is practically a right to help capture would be Latino immigrants and send them back over the border.  Some other loyal Americans are trying to help build a large retaining wall to insure that they stay south of our borders but the wall must be porous enough to allow us to visit Mazatlán, Cancun, Acapulco and other great South American vacation sites.

Has a change come about Uncle Sam
Or are you still taking our lands
A treaty forever your senators sign
They do dear lady, they do dear man
And the treaties are broken again and again
And what will you do for these ones

It is a good thing to be able to learn from your tragic mistakes.  I have a friend whose motto is:  “there are no mistakes, only lessons to be learned.”  So what are the lessons, we could and should have learned from all of these “tragic mistakes” that we have made.  I will suggest three lessons.

First Lesson:  Be sure to make your tragic mistakes with people who have less power than you do.  If you are going to screw someone, be sure they do not have a gun, slingshot, bow and arrow or any other kind of an equalizer.  As Samuel Colt said:  “God made men, but I made them equal.”

Second Lesson:  Always look to the past before declaring a tragic mistake.  Never look to present actions that might imply current tragic mistakes because there might still be time to rectify them.  If you only look at past tragic mistakes, you can express sympathy and remorse and not be overly inconvenienced with issues like giving the country back or financial remuneration.

Oh it’s all in the past you can say
But it’s still going on here today
The government now want the Navaho land
That of the Inuit and the Cheyenne
It’s here and it’s now you must help us dear man
Now that the buffalo’s gone.

Lyrics by: Buffy Sainte-Marie – Now That the Buffalo’s Gone

Third Lesson:  Always try to deny responsibility and get the injured parties to move on.   Make it clear that all of this stuff was in the past and they need to get on with life.  Talk about how things are different now.  We have no more racism because Obama is president.  We have no more Indian problems because we let them run the casinos.  We have no more women’s issues because we gave them the vote.  We have no immigration problems because we have lots of immigrants already in the country.  We have no more Gay problems because they are all getting to marry who they want now.

So you see, it’s clear all the problems that people had during the sixties have gone away.  What about Global Warming you say?  No problem, the Republicans are in charge of both houses now and they don’t believe in it so it will simply disappear like the mirage it probably is.  Did you say, Oil Depletion Allowance, Solar Energy?  No problem, the Oil companies have it under control.  You can trust them to insure that the environment will stay clean and oil will remain affordable.  (Please God, don’t strike me dead for lying!) 

Time for Questions:

What policies are we pursuing today that we will regret 50 or 100 years from now?  Does guilt and remorse matter if we do not make substantive amends?  What groups do you think we need to make amends to?  Why or why not?  What kinds of amends would you suggest we make to African Americans, Mexican Americans, Asian Americans, Gays, Native Americans?  How can we avoid having to say “I am sorry” in the future?

Life is just beginning.

“Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.”   ― Voltaire

I would like to start this blog by tearing down the character of such admired and respected people as: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, Thomas Jefferson, Nelson Mandela and any other greatly honored and admired individuals you can think of. This is the way to the truth. We must always have the truth even if it destroys the credibility and memories of those we choose to expose. Did I say expose? Yes, the truth can help us expose these great figures of history whose lives did not quite live up to their memories. The problem is that great people have great visions and great ideas. The reality is that none of them have ever or will ever live up fully to the measure of their dreams. Perhaps that is why we honor and remember them. If that is the case, what is the point in the truth? For instance:  (Listen to Bonnie Tyler’s: “I need a Hero”)

Mahatma Gandhi: The TRUTH

He made many racist remarks about Blacks in South Africa and he had a kinky if unconventional sex life.

John F. Kennedy: The TRUTH

He slept around perhaps more than any other president in history, which is saying something.

Martin Luther King: The TRUTH

Reverend King also slept around and may have plagiarized some parts of his writings by not giving adequate credit where he should have.

Thomas Jefferson: The TRUTH

TJ never freed his slaves and had several children by one of his slaves named Sally Hemings. TJ was also somewhat of an Indian hater.

Abraham Lincoln: The TRUTH

Honest Abe often put the good of saving the Union ahead of the interests of Black Americans during the course of his presidency.

Nelson Mandela: The TRUTH

Nelson had at some points in his career associated with communist leaders and had sometimes taken an anti-western political stance which has angered some right-wing American politicians.

To the above list of admired and honored individuals, I could easily add another fifty or so “great” people who I could then proceed to find fault with. In fact, I could add Jesus Christ, Mohammed, Buddha, Moses and Abraham and find plenty of fault with them as well. And where would this get us? To the truth? Only if you think that the truth is some type of serum where you mix good and bad ingredients together and come out with a potion that will cure all the evil in the world. Unfortunately, life does not work that way. Those who want their heroes or heroines with no blemishes may need some type of fairy tale to believe in. “All heroes are strong, brave, courageous and bold. All heroines are compassionate, beautiful and sensitive.” Only in your dreams!

“We have all been expelled from the Garden, but the ones who suffer most in exile are those who are still permitted to dream of perfection.” ― Stanley Kunitz

There are several “rules” of human behavior that throughout history have continued to be obvious and affirmed. One of these rules is that we often kill the messenger because we do not like the message. This fact has been noted and observed many times. Often it has been reflected by a reality wherein a messenger was literally executed because the King or ruler did not like hearing the bad news. “Woe to the bearer of bad tidings.” However, the opposite of this “rule” is another example of deviant human behavior which is even more insidious in its consequences and I would argue is even more frequently observed. Thus, we even more often kill the message because we do not like the messenger. We look at the person telling us something and if we or others can find some way to disparage their character, we discard their advice. We all do this.

“There are two kinds of perfect: The one you can never achieve, and the other, by just being yourself.” ― Lauren King

For instance, I am sitting at a bar having a drink. An older somewhat disheveled man sitting next to me starts a conversation with me. In a few moments, he is telling me his life story. It is a story of hard knocks, failures and tragedies. I immediately write the guy off as a loser. His looks, dress and manners all suggest that he never accomplished much. He is far from a success. At the point at which I have now disparaged his character, nothing he tells me will be taken in as any kind of useful advice, because I have labeled him a “loser.” I have let my judgement of his appearance and looks destroy any meaning I could get from the stories he has to tell me about the mistakes he has made in his life. Because he is a “loser”, I don’t have to listen to him. If he had looked and acted like a “winner,” I may have paid more attention to his advice. This labeling and categorizing of humans is typical behavior. We all do this. Kill the message because we don’t like the messenger.

How often I have heard many of the great people in history written off by some pundit or critic because of some behavior or some of their ideas that have echoed down through the past. When were those thoughts spoken? Did the speaker change their mind later in life? What was the historical context in which the ideas originated? How was such behavior viewed 100 or even 1000 years ago? Does anyone really know the answers to such questions?   The pundits and critics do not seem to care. Abraham Lincoln said many things about slavery before he became president and subsequently changed his position on it before he was assassinated. Do we judge Lincoln by his early thoughts on slavery or his later thoughts?

“I will say then that I am not, nor ever have been in favor of bringing about in anyway the social and political equality of the white and black races – that I am not nor ever have been in favor of making voters or jurors of negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people; and I will say in addition to this that there is a physical difference between the white and black races which I believe will forever forbid the two races living together on terms of social and political equality.” — 1858, Fourth Lincoln debate with Steven Douglas

I wonder why we need perfection in others while decrying the possibility in ourselves. Not a one of us would or could be perfect and certainly none of us want to be held to such a standard. Nevertheless, we go through life finding fault with others and holding others to unattainable standards. Good people, even great people, are frequently subjected to this tar and feathering. I have often said that leaders must be held to a higher standard. I stand by this assertion. However, this does not mean that I believe they should be judged by some ideal measure of human morality and ethics. Nor does this mean, they can repeatedly use lapses in behavior as an excuse for immoral or unethical behavior. I can think of several politicians who seem to think this is the case.

“It is also unsatisfactory to some that the elective franchise is not given to the colored man. I would myself prefer that it were now conferred on the very intelligent, and on those who serve our cause as soldiers.” – April 11, 1865: Lincoln’s Last Public Address (Upon hearing this John Wilkes Booth declared that it will be Lincoln’s last speech.)

Every one of us will (whether we like it or not) be held to some group or social standard. It is the role of individual responsibility and discipline to help guide us towards the correct fulfillment of these standards. Society and family bestows the standards on us but we are the ones who must for most of all lives try to live up to these goals. When we fail, we can be forgiven if our transgressions are not too great.  Ironically, television and the media thrives on such human failings.

“People are good or half good or a quarter good, and it changes all the time- but even on the best day nobody’s perfect.” ― Colum McCann

Television and the mass media love failures.   It is more fun to see someone trip and fall then to simply watch then walk down the street. It is more fun to see a car crash during a race then to simply watch the cars go round and round. Even more pervasively, we seem to love crime, serial killers, adulterers and other forms of deviance. The mass media know this and they use it every chance they get to sell us stuff.

“I like to watch the news, because I don’t like people very much and when you watch the news … if you ever had an idea that people were really terrible, you could watch the news and know that you’re right.” ― Frank Zappa

You see, there is another problem here. What if the message is wrong or even a lie? What if the message does not contain the truth about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? What if the message is designed to ridicule or denigrate someone else?   Madison Avenue and Josef Goebbels found the solution to this problem many years ago. If you want to tell a big lie, you must dress the messenger up in fancy credentials. If we trust the messenger, he or she can be used to sell us anything. The con man must look rich and successful or how could anyone be conned. No one will buy the Brooklyn Bridge from a bum. The rule is to take the messenger and make him or her seem unblemished. They must appear admirable, exemplary, magnificent, brilliant and totally trustworthy.  They have to be 100 percent bona fide certified grade A “Winners.” People who are sports heroes, war heroes, movie stars, glamorous singers and rich people can be used to make the message look like the truth.

“We have currently a built-in allergy to unpleasant or disturbing information. Our mass media reflect this. But unless we get up off our fat surpluses and recognize that television in the main is being used to distract, delude, amuse, and insulate us, then television and those who finance it, those who look at it, and those who work at it, may see a totally different picture too late. ” ― Edward R. Murrow

Hundreds of books and thousands of talks are sold each day by “winners” who tell us their stories after they have made us feel how smart and wonderful they are. Celebrity shows are full of “winners” who are portrayed as almost superhuman and worthy of admiration. We are led to believe that only an idiot would doubt the experts on the Oprah Winfrey Show or the advice given by Dr. Phil or Dr. Oz or any of the other thousand talking heads on TV. In truth, some of their advice is good. But is it good because of their impeccable credentials? The truth is that good advice does not just belong to the experts. In fact, most of these talking winners have lives that none of us would want to live. Very few of our idols live up to the image they want to convey.

“Living up to an image that you have of yourself or that other people have of you is inauthentic living.” ― Eckhart Tolle

So what is the bottom line about heroes and heroines?   There are two lessons to be learned. First, no one is perfect. Do not judge others by simple criteria that allows for no imperfections.   Thomas Jefferson owned slaves.   Thomas Jefferson had a slave who he repeatedly had sex with. Thomas Jefferson also authored the Declaration of Independence, perhaps one of the greatest documents that have been written. Martin Luther King cheated on his wife. Nevertheless, MLK marched and put his neck on the line for civil rights and ultimately lost his life over his convictions to speak out for social justice. Perhaps some of you will find it evil that neither the Reverend Martin Luther King nor Thomas Jefferson were perfect. Would that you could have been in either man’s place to see how much fortitude and morality you would have had in their shoes. Don’t kill the message because the messenger was not perfect.

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”   ― Robert F. Kennedy

Second, beware of people who use their credentials to see you something. Maybe, you will get a good deal. Maybe, you will find a pearl in the oyster. Maybe, the Lost Gold Mine map will lead you to a heap of buried treasure. Maybe, the new improved toothpaste will forever protect your teeth from cavities. Maybe the new signature golf club will improve your game. I would not bet on any of the former. If you want to spend your money, beware those people selling you their credibility along with the products or services you plan to buy. In this case, perfection and glamour should be suspect. Don’t believe the message because you love the messenger.

Time for Questions:

Who do you believe? Why? Who are your heroes and heroines? Are they perfect? What are their faults? What if you found that your heroes and heroines were not perfect? How would this change your attitudes towards them?

Life is just beginning.

“Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack in everything

That’s how the light gets in.”

― Leonard Cohen