Aging Capriciously

Since, I first wrote this blog, I have noticed a marked change in President Obama.  He has taken the more difficult path on many issues and I would now rate him much more kindly in terms of his moral courage.  He has faced blatant racism and antagonism from many right wing zealots in this country, but particularly from the so called Republican leadership. Despite the low ratings he often receives, I think posterity will be much more kind to him for his strength and courage in trying to do the right thing for the majority of Americans.  I am proud that I voted for him and would without hesitation vote for him again.  If you still read the rest of my blog, please remember I wrote this blog many months ago and I have witnessed a much more courageous man in office this past several months.

I voted for President Barack Obama in both elections.  I would vote for him again.  I lobbied for him.  I canvassed for him.  I sent funds regularly to support his campaign.  I was pleased that he passed the Affordable Care Act.  However, to date, Obama has demonstrated a lack of “Moral Courage” in his efforts to lead this country.   I have wanted to see him stand up and “kick ass.”  He has failed to do so on numerous occasions.  During his first term, I could forgive him for not closing Guantanamo or for the use of drones in our war against the Taliban.   However, once he was reelected, I expected more gumption and guts on his part.  I repeat myself, but to date all I have seen is a noticeable lack of Moral Courage in his efforts to lead our nation.  His giving in to the war hawks on Syria was the most recent and perhaps most egregious example.  I have no faith in the Democrats since they have repeatedly shown themselves to be moral cowards but I held out more “HOPE” for President Obama.

Moral Courage has been defined in numerous ways.  Some of them suggest a rather trivial approach to the concept.  For instance, someone said that “it takes Moral Courage to pick up litter.”  Perhaps!  However, I think of Moral Courage as more than just “picking up litter.”  A moral is something that has significant ethical relevance.  To be moral, means to be on the side of ethical and legal behavior.  It is not enough to be legal to be moral, you must also be ethical.  Racists, sexists, thieves and those who would deny others their rights are not moral people.

A web definition of the term “Moral” is:

Concerned with the principles of right and wrong behavior and the goodness or badness of human character.  “The moral dimensions of medical intervention”

Synonyms:  virtuous, good, righteous, upright, upstanding, high-minded, principled, honorable, honest, just, noble, incorruptible, scrupulous, respectable, decent, clean-living, law-abiding. 

Moral Courage is at least as much about courage as it is about morality.  It is easy to be moral when no one is challenging your ideas or positions.  It is much more difficult to be moral when you find yourself in the minority.  The term courage implies that one is brave in the face of some threat or risk to their well-being.  The greater the threat, the greater the courage it takes to be moral.  Thus, my definition of Moral Courage is:  Taking an ethical position in the face of a threat to your well-being or life. 

I have been a management consultant since 1986.  I have worked with over thirty companies.  One of my standard cautions to leaders (CEO’s, Presidents, Directors, etc.) was that if you wanted to make real change in your organization you had to risk being a martyr.  No one who undertakes change will gladly be accepted or warmly welcomed by a majority of the population.

“There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things.” — Niccolo Machiavelli

Moral Courage is a prerequisite for anyone who will undertake real change.  When Obama was campaigning, he promised real change to Americans.  We can’t blame him for the cowardice of the Democrats or the greed of the Republicans.  We can’t blame him for the partisanship that dominates politics today.  We can’t blame him for the high cost of medical care and the failure of our educational system today.  We can blame him for a lack of Moral Courage. The root causes of the major problems in America today can be found in the thinking that dominates politics and our institutions.  Specifically, we see the following:

1. Short term thinking dominates long-term thinking
2. A failure to see things from a systems perspective
3. Lack of Moral Courage among our leaders.

“We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  ― Albert Einstein

Since President Obama is the “leader” of this country, the lack of these characteristics in his thinking is the most egregious in terms of assigning blame.  The first two faults we can attribute to his inexperience in politics and his lack of depth in the world of organizational change.  The third fault is a character fault and directly stems from his lack of courage in standing up to his critics and his unwillingness to take risks to change the system.  President Obama has found it easier to go along with the system then risk challenging the system and perhaps becoming a martyr to change.

American history is full of men and women who displayed Moral Courage.  The Founding Fathers, the Abolitionists, Harriet Tubman, the Suffragettes, Abraham Lincoln, Caesar Chavez, Martin Luther King and numerous others are well known to most of you.  All of these people either risked death or censure by their actions.  In many cases, they suffered untold hardships because of their willingness to stand up for what they believed.  When faced with the divergent paths of expedience or risk, they all took the path of risk.  For more information on people who have displayed Moral Courage go to:

http://moralheroes.org/

At this site, you will find numerous examples of individuals demonstrating Moral Courage in the face of risk and threats.

MoralHeroes.org is an ever-growing archive of inspirational men and women throughout our history that have sacrificed for the betterment of others physically, socially, politically, economically, or environmentally.

These acknowledged and unsung heroes have intentionally sacrificed their social standing and location, political or economic gains, or even given their own lives for others.

According to the authors of this site:

A Moral Hero is not a hero of accident or impulse (such as a firefighter in a burning building, or someone jumping in the way of a bus to protect another). A Moral Hero must have intentionally and selflessly upheld a moral virtue, such as kindness, patience, justice, compassion, love, or peace; knowing of the full risks and consequences of their actions. We have seen this in civil rights movements, democracy movements, peace movements and individual acts of kindness. They are not perfect humans, without blemish or errors. They may not have achieved their goal while alive, but they must have made a heroic effort to do so. They may not have spent their entire life as a Hero, or even been popular at all. However, if their single deed is great enough to inspire us to a higher standard of community, then they are a Moral Hero.

President Barack Obama has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. This is one of the highest honors that can be bestowed on anyone. During the recent crisis over the use of chemical weapons in Syria, his position provoked some to remark that if the USA bombs Syria, Obama should be stripped of his peace prize.  I would second this recommendation.   His initial failure to look for alternatives, his failure to stand up to the war hawks and his failure to consider the United Nations as a potential resource to address the Syrian Crisis all showed a streak of moral cowardice.  Again, I might have attributed this to expedience in his first term, but now that he is closing out his second term, it is a lack of Moral Courage.

I know most Americans are sick of the partisanship in Congress. We are sick and tired of our elected leaders standing up for their party and not for our country.  We have had it with threats of shutdowns and filibusters to prevent anything being changed.  I call President Obama on his failure to demonstrate Moral Courage, but most of our so called leadership demonstrates the same character fault.

Can any of you think of an elected leader who you would nominate as a Moral Hero/Heroine?  I could take up the rest of this blog with the names of elected officials who have broken our trust with unethical acts of greed, lust and self-interest, but the newspapers give you these names on a daily basis.  It would be repetitious to repeat the names of these crooks, cheats and adulterers.  In fact, the only reason to do so might be humorous.  How many of these “immoral” leaders have asked for a “second” chance or found Jesus or committed themselves for “therapy?”   If I robbed a bank, do you think the judge would let me off if I found Jesus or found a good shrink?

These people who we elect have robbed us of more than our money. They have robbed us of the trust that we need in our leaders.  Without trust, we cannot have a great nation.  Ultimately, we trust in God, but on a daily basis, we are forced to trust our leaders to do the right thing and to care more about morals and ethics than to get reelected.  Unfortunately, for the past several years, the evidence shows that we have elected individuals who care more about their egos, their party and their chance to be reelected than they do about their country.

Time for Questions:

Polls repeatedly show a high percentage of Americans are dissatisfied with Congress, then why did we reelect over eighty five percent of them?  What will it take for Americans to say “I have had enough?”  Can we ever expect our elected officials to rise about their parties and to care more about their country?  What do we have to do as citizens to change our system?  Is it true that as Pericles said “The character of a state is determined by the virtues of individual citizens?”  Are we getting the government that we deserve?  What do we need to do to deserve better?”

Life is just beginning.

Perhaps my title reminds you of the Dean Martin song “Memories are Made of This?”  For some reason Dean’s song has relevance to my blog this week but not because of the lyrics but more because of the sentiments.  The actual genesis of my blog begun last night when I was listening to a Christian gospel group called Glory Train.  One of the members (who is a friend of mine) did a number based on “memories’ he had of a friend who passed away several years ago.  The song provoked many memories in my own mind of growing up:  Memories of friends, parents, grandparents, good times and bad times.

I suppose memories can be classified according to some unknown typology or perhaps a hierarchy of memories.  We can have happy memories, sad memories, bittersweet memories, terrifying memories, romantic memories, erotic memories or angry memories.  I leave it to the psychologists to develop the typology or hierarchy.  For now, I am more interested in what provokes memories? Why do we have memories?  Are memories useful or do they keep us mired in the past?  Are we better off forgetting the good and bad times and moving forward?  Perhaps the answers to these questions are really trivial but during my reminisces about the “good old days” or the “bad old days” they don’t seem so trivial to me.

“The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.” — Salvador Dali

It seems when I am reminiscing that the past is always nostalgic.  Life was easier “back when.”  Friends were truer “back when.”  Love was more compelling “back when.”  Family was more meaningful “back when.”  “Back when” trumps now in most of my memories.  How real is this?  Not very I think, except in the feelings which drip drop from my reminisces.  The past seems to hold the secrets which are somehow lost in the present.  Love, friendship, relationships, happiness, youth beckon; if only I could go “back when,” everything would be okay.  No more suffering, no more strife, no more toil, no more aging.  Peace, bliss and joy would suffuse my daily existence.

“The Greek word for “return” is nostos.  Algos means “suffering.” So nostalgia is the suffering caused by an unappeased yearning to return.” — Milan Kundera

The ghosts of the past are like shadows on the wall.  Mom, dad, grandparents, old friends, old wives, God-parents, fond aunts and uncles, I see vestiges of them flitting here and there.  I hear echoes of old conversations and phases that once dominated the lives we shared together.  I taste the treats and meals that were conspicuous on holidays and special occurrences.  Every memory is pierced with a pain of loss and the sorrow of ending.  The bad times, the bad food, the bad people are all forgotten as my spirit flashes back to a past that has been sanitized by the passage of time.  I sometimes feel like I am living in an old episode of Twilight Zone.  Memories, people, events, stream by as I observe from the sidelines and occasionally grab a passing snapshot with my digital camera.  It records only the good, but the pictures are ethereal and they soon fade away.

“One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.” — Rita Mae Brown

A tragedy of life seems to be that the older we get, the more memories we have.  Young people have fewer memories and thus have the satisfaction of not having to remember the “good old days.”  In fact, try talking to anyone from a younger generation about the good old days and see how long the conversation will last.  Whatever generation you are from, Depression, Greatest, Baby Boomers, Generation X, Generation Y or Millenniums, the newest generation will be the “young” generation and the other generations will be old.  As we age, there are more and more younger generations.  As a Baby Boomer, I have to put up with three other generations and if I live long enough perhaps a fourth.  I feel sorry for anyone born in the early part of the twentieth century who must now have to understand and deal with five or six other generations.

Imagine comparing memories with someone who was born in 1910 or 2001?  Not only do we have very different experiences but we deal with a sort of phenomenological dimension which cannot be translated not matter how many books you read about understanding the “other’ generation.  For instance, my experience and expectations related to war will be totally different from anyone who was born in 1910 or 2001.  War was once seen as rather heroic to some people.  Now we are seeing more resistance and revulsion to war for any reason except for an outright attack.  Imagine the comment that was made by Winston Churchill in a letter to a friend:

“I think a curse should rest on me — because I love this war. I know it’s smashing and shattering the lives of thousands every moment — and yet — I can’t help it — I enjoy every second of it.”  — Winston Churchill

Memories are made by taking the dross out of the past.  What is left are those reminisces which cause the aches in our soul, the hunger for the good old days and the desire to revisit the places and times of our youth.  The good old days, the good old places and the good old people are stripped of the impurities which were once a part of the reality that we lived in.  The memories we have today and that we think of as our past reality are sanitized versions of a life that would not look anything like our current reminisces. The “good old days” were never that good or great or wonderful.  The past is only a stepping stone to the future.  The days of tomorrow will inevitably be better than the days of yesterday.  Just as progress is made by going up, so the future is made by building on the mistakes of the past.  The good old days are yet to come.  One should pine for the future and not the past.  Sadly, the future will all too soon be remembered as the good old days.  “Whence cometh the good New days?”

“Look not mournfully into the past, it comes not back again. Wisely improve the present, it is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future without fear and with a manly heart.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

We all have memories; some good, some bad and some indifferent. Memories of what might have been or what should have been.  Memories of things left unsaid, events left unheralded and opportunities left unrequited.  Each memory we have is a page in our book of life.  One day our last page will be written. We will then become a memory in somebody else’s book of life.  I used to believe that having no regrets was the best way to live my life.  No regrets, no nostalgia, and no sorrow for the things I did or did not do.  Move on.  As I approach my final years, I am not so sure that I would want no regrets.  For me, regrets are a part of my life.  They are a reminder that I made mistakes, took the wrong paths and seized the wrong opportunities.  They are a reminder of the friends and relatives I did not have enough time for.  They are a reminder that life is much shorter for some of us than others and that no minute or even second should ever be squandered.

There are those who believe in an afterlife. A place where the dead are reunited with their former loved ones. I can see the allure of such a place but alas, I have no firm conviction that one exists.  If indeed it does; what a joyous place it would be.  A place where my mother, father, sister, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and so many friends whom I have lost over the years are all alive and well again.  Is it any wonder that so many people want to believe that something else exists after this life?  A heaven or nirvana where new pages can be written but no mistakes can ever be made – a place where no regrets, no sorrows and no unhappiness exist.  I would say “save it for a fairy tale” except that I like many others have a deep wish in my heart that such a place exists.  A place where no such thing as memories, nostalgia or the past will exist.  A place where every moment is spent making the right choices, saying the right things and never needing to have any regrets.

Time for Questions:

What are your favorite memories? How real or accurate do you think these memories are?  Do you let your past stop you from enjoying the present?  Would you go back to the past if you could?  Why?  What do you think the real value of our memories is?

Life is just beginning. 

I have advice from a respected friend who says it is better to be positive than negative.  Generally, I think there is much truth to his comment.  Pessimists, cynics, skeptics, and critics seem to live hard unhappy lives.  Studies show that though optimists may not live as long as pessimists, they live happier lives.  We can look around us and see misery, inhumanity and poverty or we can look around and find kindness, generosity and love.  So why would I write about “man’s inhumanity to man?”  Perhaps I cannot give you a good reason.  Sometimes it just seems so egregious to me and terrible that I feel the need to condemn it.  I can not always have a “Happy Face” in light of the inhumanity that I see displayed by other human beings.

I am not talking about a specific act of cruelty or any one specific act that has recently found its way into the local headlines.  There are all too many such acts that get talked about in bars, coffee shops and at supper time.  I am also not talking about random acts of gratuitous violence.  Those bizarre murders and mayhem that are perpetrated by some warped sadistic mind.   Neither am I talking about the violence you see nightly on TV.  I wish I were.  I could simply write any of these acts off as aberrations and forget them.  Much more sadly, I am talking about our ongoing and seemingly endless ability to inflict cruelty on each other.  I am talking about the many instances of cruelty and mayhem that scream forth from the four corners of the earth yesterday, today and tomorrow.  The violence that never seems to end as each day the sun rises and sets upon the globe.  I am talking about the barrage of meanness that we inflict on each other every single day, 365 days of the year and 24 hours each day. Some days it seems like such depravity will never end and that it is more prevalent than God, love or kindness.

I am thinking about the wars, crusades, holocausts, inquisitions, witch hunts, gangland violence, prostitution, child abuse, genocide, domestic abuse, road rage and torture which stalk our world.   I am thinking about a so called justice system which values retribution over reformation.  An “Eye for an Eye” says the Lord and we go one further and extract two eyes for one and two pounds of flesh for one.  All too often the gore and savageness and mayhem seem to be enjoyed.  I have seen pictures of African Americans burned with charred bodies hanging from trees and crowds standing around smiling and posing for pictures.  I have seen videos of people rampaging in the street and beating innocent bystanders to death while laughing and joking.  I have seen pictures of people mutilating and defiling bodies that they have murdered of people who belonged to a different religion.  The visions of destruction and disaster in this world are all too often punctuated by smiling fiends who seem to extract joy and happiness from the cruelty they inflict on others.

Azucena, the daughter of a Gypsy burnt by a wealthy and powerful Count, is haunted by her duty to avenge her mother. Azucena confesses to her lover that after stealing the Count’s baby she had intended to burn his little son along with her mother, but overwhelmed by the screams and the gruesome scene of her mother’s execution, she became confused and threw her own child into the flames instead.  This plot forms the basis for the opera Il Trovatore by Verdi and from which the following aria is drawn (Aria: Stride la vampa / “The flames are roaring!”).   The aria by Verdi describes the glee and joy on the faces of those watching as Azucena’s mother is thrown on the raging pyre and burned to death.  If you want to hear the aria, (Click on the title), it is much more haunting than the words which have been translated below.

Stride la vampa!

Shrieks the pyre!
The furious throng
rushes to that fire
with a happy guise;
screams of joy
echoing around;
surrounded by ruffians
the woman is brought forward!
Evilness shining
on their horrible faces
by the somber flame
that rises to the sky!
Shrieks the pyre!
The victim comes out
black dressed,
disheveled, barefoot!
A fierce yell
lethal it blares;
the echo resonates
from hill to hill!
Evilness shining
on their horrible faces
by the somber flame
that rises to the sky!  From Il Trovatore by Verdi

I imagine similar scenes took place at the Roman Circus and inquisition not to mention the thousands of lynchings that took place in the USA during the 20^th Century.  It is easy to point the finger at other people, but in many respects, we all participate vicariously in such violence.   Our popular movies and TV shows depict brutishness, gore and revenge that we all tune into daily.   The final scene of most “action adventure” shows is usually an uber-violent showdown between the good “guy” and the bad “guy.”  Iconic movies like Dirty Harry, Death Wish, Rocky and Star Wars are all about catharsis and retribution.  We sit through two hours of these movies waiting for our hero to get his retaliation.  We identify with our heroes/heroines need to get revenge in the most sadistic means possible.

A recent movie by Sylvester Stallone (Bullet to the Head) has a final scene in which the hero (who is a hit-man) faces off against a former Special Forces operative who is now a mercenary.  An ironic turn of events has us rooting for the hit man rather than the former Special Forces man.  The weapons of choice are fire axes which they wield in their battle against each other.  Nothing like chopping up your adversary to get even!  It is rumored that Mr. Stallone is making another “Rocky” movie.

In the famous movie “Runaway Train,” there is a scene of intense violence where our “Hero,” an escaped convict, is beating his friend to death.  A mechanic on the train (played by Rebecca De Mornay) stops the violent beating and says to Jon Voight, “You’re a monster.”  Jon answers “No Worse, a human.”  The final scene in the Runaway Train depicts the revenge and retribution enacted between Voight and his nemesis, the prison commandant.  Again, somewhat ironically, we are cheering for the arch-violent escaped convict against the prison commandment who has, although perhaps overzealous in his job, the legitimacy of the law behind him.  However, retribution and revenge are not about logic or even right and wrong.  There is an animal emotionalism that overtakes us that puts our vaunted logic and cognition on the scrap pile.  Thus, we will even take the “wrong” side to see that revenge is enacted or that “justice” is played out.  Our animal instincts routinely over ride our human instincts.

Herein lays the problem with “humanity.”  We prefer to call this evil emotional and irrational side of us, inhumanity, but as Voight noted, it is nothing less than our humanity.  We are not inhuman; we are simply and truly human.

Inhumanity: Noun

Cruelty, atrocity, brutality, ruthlessness, barbarism, viciousness, heartlessness, unkindness, brutishness, cold-bloodedness, pitilessness, cold-heartedness, hardheartedness, the inhumanity of war.

Have you ever wondered how anyone could pay money to attend a Roman Circus wherein they would watch humans being torn to bits by animals and gladiators?  Have you ever wondered how anyone could enjoy watching someone burn to death at a witch hunt?  Have you ever wondered how anyone could eat popcorn at a lynching?  It is generally hard for most of us to conceive of getting enjoyment from such brutality, at least when we are in our “human” mode.

However, have you ever gone to a football game, mixed martial arts match, karate tournament, hockey game, wrestling match or boxing match?  You can see the same raw animal emotionalism here infusing the crowd as they participate vicariously in the combat.  At all of these so called entertainment events, we suspend our concern for the well-being of others while we obtain vicarious enjoyment derived from watching others getting beaten and pummeled in a pantomime of war and revenge.  Perhaps, years from now our amusement at these events will rank on a par with the satisfaction our ancestors derived from witch burnings and lynchings.  You can argue that these modern events are mostly without the blood and gore of the Roman Circus but that is not always the case and it would probably not discourage anyone from buying tickets to these shows.  In fact, so much the better for ticket sales if some blood and gore and violence does emerge to “spice” up the show.

Man Was Made To Mourn:  A Dirge, by George Burns

“Many and sharp the num’rous ills
Inwoven with our frame!
More pointed still we make ourselves,
Regret, remorse, and shame!
And man, whose heav’n-erected face
The smiles of love adorn, –
Man’s inhumanity to man
Makes countless thousands mourn!

Time for Questions:

Is there a cure for “inhumanity” or more honestly our “humanity?”  Do you get your violence thrills vicariously by watching others commit mayhem?  What need do you think this violence satisfies in people. What can we do to help insure that all people are treated humanely?  What will it take to get rid of our desire for revenge and retribution?  Can you ever see a time when kindness will trump cruelty? Are humans always destined for war and violence?  Did Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed and Moses preach the wrong message?  What would they say about the violence we view almost daily?

Life is just beginning.