Aging Capriciously

Zeitgeist is a German word that roughly translates to “tempo of the times or the sign of the times.”   A sign of the times may be “tribal tattoos” or SUV’s, or black Fridays.   I can see a list developing here, some of the things I associate with the “Times” today are:

A “sign of the times” may be the poor attitudes of teenagers today.  But wait, wasn’t that a sign of the times during the days of Socrates?  A quote attributed to Socrates holds that:

Perhaps a sign of the times is the “great recession” that we are either coming out of or still in.  Maybe a sign of the times is the increased unemployment or maybe the “war on drugs” or maybe the increased road rage or maybe our attack on immigrants and immigration.  Maybe it is our shift to the political right and the increased influence of evangelicals and Republicans.   A sign of the times is an expression used to denote something that seems symbolic or emblematic of the era we are living in. “Sign of the times” was a phrase strongly related to Roman Catholicism in the era of the Second Vatican Council.  It was taken to mean that the Church should listen to, and learn from, the world around it.” (wikipedia.org) 

The problem is we do not have any good reference points to compare our times to.  Most of us do not have a very good knowledge of history or of what happened even a few years ago.  We all tend to forget how things really were. So we think: crime is worse today, teenagers are worse today, life is harder today, etc. Then we say: “it’s a sign of the times.”  However, it could easily be a sign of many times and eras gone by.  What then are the dependable and predictable signs that would allow us to say with certainty that our times are different (for better or worse) than past times? 

Very few things really emerge that make good signs of the times.  Rising costs and rising taxes have been true forever.  War, famine and pestilence were frequent during the days of the Pharaohs and are still with us today.  Disease kills millions yearly and people do not really seem any less or more happy than in days gone by.  Is life easier or more difficult today?  You would probably notice that it depended on who you asked.  How then can we find a true and accurate “sign of the times?”  Bottom line is you will probably not. The idea sounds good on paper but it is just too subjective.  There are few signs that exist today that could irrefutably tell you what year or even decade it was, without the value of hindsight.  Twenty years from now, it will be possible to look back at today and say things about it with some certainty but the present is never certain.  That is why the past cannot predict the future. 

We seem to dwell on the “bad signs” but maybe you can think of some good signs of the times.  For instance, income levels are rising across the world and many diseases have now been eradicated that plagued humanity for centuries.  We should make a list of all the good signs.  I think it would probably be longer than the list of bad signs.  What do you think are the signs of the time today?  How would these compare to your signs twenty years ago?  Do you think your signs would hold up if you went back two thousand years?  Will these (my list and your list) still be signs five or ten years from now? When do signs become obsolete?  Do your signs tell you that things are better or worse today?

Dear Sam,

I hope this letter finds you well and happy.  I hope you are honoring and obeying your father and mother.  You have great parents who love you very much.  Grandma and I are looking forward to visiting you a while when you are in Korean Camp this summer.  You always seem to be having so much fun there.  When I was young, I went to camp for one week at a Boy Scout camp called Camp Yawgoog.  My parents could not afford to send me more than once and I was always jealous of the kids that got to go back or could spend more than one week. 

I am writing to clarify something I said when we were having dinner on Mother’s Day. Grandma told me later that you asked if I thought you were stupid for spending time playing baseball and other sports. I was surprised at the question and disappointed that you misunderstood what I was saying to your mom.  I had no intention of hurting your feelings by what I said. So let me explain a bit.

I think sports are great. I think most athletes are dedicated, disciplined, hardworking people.  I think it takes a great deal of determination and effort to be successful in sports and that those individuals who succeed are truly gifted individuals athletically.  In life, we are all given gifts.  Jesus said:  “But he that knewnot, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beatenwith few stripes. For unto whomsoever muchis given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.”  (Luke 12:48).  He also said “Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.” (Mark 4:25).

These comments by Jesus mean that we are all given gifts and if we use them, they will be increased in us.  Many would commonly say “use-them or lose-them.”  This means that if we don’t use them, they will be lost to us.  Unfortunately, many lazy people wait around to get FREE gifts by winning the lottery, gambling or suing someone.  They do not realize that gifts come to us through hard work, sweat and perseverance.  One of my favorite quotes is by Thomas Jefferson.  Jefferson said “I have noticed that the harder I work, the luckier I get.”   The great Roman philosopher Seneca said that “luck is where preparation meets opportunity.”   It is clear to me that we must find those gifts which we have in life and use them to the best of our ability.  It takes determination and hard work to develop them.

My concern with sports and my problems with the way sports are handled today is that for too many people, they have become almost like a drug.  More people will watch the average football or baseball game than will listen to a presidential debate.  We pay the average NCAA Division 1 football coach 1.47 million dollars a year (USA Today, 2011).  This is more than most college presidents make and much more than the average college teacher.  Colleges continue sports programs that are high budget and high maintenance despite the fact that most do not make money for the school.  High Schools that cannot afford art and music programs nevertheless keep their sports programs. 

Writing in Forbes magazine, Steven Salzberg notes:  “The football-industrial complex has too much power over our universities. Nothing else can explain how we spend so much money and time on football, which contributes almost nothing to students’ education, while academic departments are cutting faculty and staff. The culture of football worship has gotten so out of control that I think the only solution is to get rid of it entirely.”

Down at the Frederic library yesterday, the Cucumber Guys were discussing the purported last words of Voltaire and the discussion meandered into the last words of other famous people.  Jerry, Ken and I could all think of some comments made by people on their death beds.  Most of these comments are very interesting, perhaps because you don’t think anyone is going to lie when they only have a few minutes to live.  Or perhaps, we are fascinated because of some irony that these last words provoke.  Voltaire is supposed to have refused to repent his sins because “He did not want to make any more enemies before he died.”  He was referring to the fact that Satan would be upset if he now recanted on his lack of belief in religion or Christianity.  Socrates last words were:  “Crito, we owe a rooster to Asclepius. Please, don’t forget to pay the debt.”  (Asclepius was the Greek god for curing illness, and it is likely Socrates’ last words meant that death is the cure—and freedom, of the soul from the body.) (Wikipedia reference) 

“I am a man of constant sorrow” This line is from the song in the film “O Brother, Where Art Thou?”  John Hartford wrote the lyrics to the song.  Some credit the music and the film with a rebirth of Blue Grass and Old Time music in the USA.  It is hard to believe that one movie could have so much impact.  I am inclined to think that this claim is somewhat exaggerated.  Nevertheless, there is little doubt that the movie did spark a renewed interest in Blue Grass music particularly among people with whom it was not a familiar genre.

The most popular song from the movie was “A Man of Constant Sorrow.”  This haunting song resonates with us somewhat like hearing a drum beat.  Deep in our hearts we somehow identify with these lyrics.  Nevertheless, I continue to wonder what it means to be in constant sorrow.  What events or episodes in ones life could create constant sorry? What would anyone be like if they were in constant sorrow?

“For six long years, I’ve been in trouble
No pleasures here on earth I found
For in this world I’m bound to ramble
I have no friends to help me now.” 

(From “I am a Man of Constant Sorrow”, John Hartford)

Did so many people really like this song because it resonated with their own sadness and melancholy?  Can it be that many of us have: No friends, no pleasures, no home and no one to help?  What could be sadder?  Would this be enough to induce constant sorrow? Constant means never ceasing, not changing or varying, uniform, steadfast.  Constant means to have a feeling with you 24 hours a day, everyday of the week and every week of the year.  A Man of Constant Sorrow would be a sad person indeed.

 Do we all sometimes feel this pain and sorrow from the daily toils and doubts of life?  I think many of us do. There are too many depressed people in the world for it not to be true.  Most of us get over it though, but what of the people who do not? What do you think it would be like to live in constant sorrow?  Do you know anyone who you think might? What could you do to help this person?  How can we all help make sure that no one in the entire world lives a life of constant sorrow? Is this an impossible dream?  

Have you ever felt that you were moving at the speed of light?  Do you understand what time and speed have in common?  If you are familiar with Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, the theory says that as speed increases time slows down. You might remember the famous paradox about the space traveler going away on a long journey and coming back younger than his or her parents.  How can this be true you might say? Well, according to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity it is true.  As we approach the speed of light, time slows down. Wouldn’t it be great if we could we use Einstein’s theory to help slow our day down and get more done?  If we could move at the speed of light, time would just about stand still.  Just think how much stuff you could get done.  However, if everyone moved at the speed of light, then relatively speaking, time would not move any slower for you.  This technique would work only if you or a few others were moving faster than everyone else.  

In practice, we all seem to be working on the presumption that if we could just move fast enough we could get more done.  This negates the overall benefit and we become like rats on a wheel. All of us are running and running and just staying in the same place.  Target company has a motto or credo that says something like “Fast, Fun and Friendly.”  How many workers do you know who are moving fast and feel like they are having fun?  And if they are not having fun, do you really think they are going to be “friendly” to the customers. More like, “get out of my way jerk, I have things to do and my boss says I better move faster.”  

We move faster and faster and faster but paradoxically we seem to get less and less done. I took a class in motorcycle racing once and the key message of the instructor was “You must first learn to go slow before you can go fast.”  Most of us think that by going faster we can accomplish more.  In many cases, we only accomplish less since our haste results in more rework and having to do things over again.  Most of the organizations that I have met that do not have “real” time for their customers eventually perish or they become second choice to the consumer. 

Today, concentrate on moving slower.  Forget the speed of light.  See if you can study your motions; watch your body move more slowly, exert less effort and try to move at the speed of a snail.  What differences could this make in your life? Can you do this for one whole day? Why not? What keeps you moving at the speed of light?  

This won’t take long!  How often has someone said that to you or you have said that to someone else?  A few years ago, I bought my first gas grill.  I had never owned one and Karen and I decided it was time.  To save a few bucks, I ordered it through the Internet. When it came, it was in one huge box which I had a hard time moving into the garage by myself.  I vaguely remember something about it only taking fifteen minutes to put together.  Well, it took me 30 minutes just to lay all of the parts out. Three hours and forty five minutes later, I had finished putting my grill together.  Except for putting the batteries in backwards, I was able to fire the thing right up and do my first outside grilling at the age of 60. I was thrilled except when I thought how long it took me to put it together.  I was even angrier the next day when after going to Home Depot, I found the same grill assembled.  I could have purchased it there pre-assembled; with delivery and it would have only cost me 25 dollars more. Thus, my savings did not even come close to paying for my time, not to mention my aggravation.

We often underestimate the length of time it will take to do things.  Sometimes we are misled by advertisements but often by our own misconceptions.  The thought “this won’t take long” should be a red flag for most of us. On reflection, the phrase is seldom true. They say anything worthwhile takes time.  We can do the worthless fast, but those things that are really meaningful and valuable will take more time.

What things and events do you most often underestimate?  What jobs or tasks do you rush through?  What work do you have to do today that you should allow more time for?  What areas in your life should you spend more time on?  It is a lot easier to be less frustrated and to do a better job when you can allow the right amount of time needed for the job and not worry about it “taking too long.”  

I lost track of the time. Where did the time go? How often have you heard someone make this comment? Generally, it means we were so engrossed with what we were doing that we forgot we had another appointment or schedule.  When we lose track of time, time no longer seems to exist. It is not moving fast or slow, it just does not seem to matter to us. I heard someone say recently that they did not wake up and say “gee, I have to go to work today.” Instead, they woke up and said “Wow, I get to go to work again today.” Can you imagine the difference between time for the first case and time for the second? Time in the first case is drudgery and time in the second is a joy. 

When you do not enjoy what you are doing, time is the most oppressive. You check the clock. You wonder when the time will go by. You find ways to “break” up your time. The more “breaks” the better.  When you enjoy or even love what you are doing, you forget the clock.  You don’t worry about breaks or when it is time to go home.  Sean John’s says “life without passion is unforgiveable.”  He lives this in his daily life.  His message is important for all of us.  How many of us find lives that are full of passion?  Why not?  Is such a life beyond our reaches or do we just fail to make the choice? 

The more our world is dominated by time, by pressures to do things faster, to multi-task, or to live in the fast lane, the less happy and more stressed we will be. Wouldn’t it be wonderful, if time did not matter anymore and we could lose track of time on a permanent basis? What if our lives were so filled with passion that every second was one we could live with for eternity? What if we counted Passion instead of minutes?

When was the last time you lost track of time? Can you hardly wait to go to work today or do you count each workday between Sunday and Friday? Is your life filled with passion or wondering when the minute hand will move forward?  Are you in the “Thank God it’s Friday” camp or in the “I am looking forward to Monday” camp. 

There is no time that is better than fun time.  Most children would not have a problem with this statement.  When we are young most of our time is fun time. The older we get, the less fun time we have.  Fun time is spontaneous, unstructured and not goal driven.  I get a laugh out of the corporate saying: “We work hard, but we play hard.” That is an oxymoron.  Play and fun are not about hard or about accomplishing anything.  Hard is a macho concept that denotes a phallic reference that often seems to take ascendancy over the feminine in society. Thus, working hard and playing hard are more to be valued than playing soft or working soft. When did you ever hear anyone extol the virtues of playing soft? 

Well, if you want to work hard, that’s good, but don’t play hard.  Playing hard destroys the essence of play. I look at all these young children playing in these league sports and wonder what their lives will be like growing up without any real play time.  All of their time seems guided by misguided parents who either through ego or greed think their kids will play big-league sports or get a free ride to college on an athletic scholarship. As my friend Ken noted, many of these parents think parenting is about showing up at all of their kids numerous league games and “conference” playoffs. They are not teaching their kids anything about play or about living their own dreams. 

Play is about freedom and spontaneity. It is going where you want to go, doing what you want to do and not having to answer for the results.  Retirement is the oasis of play that many people dream of.  People wait years for retirement so they can do what they want to do. Retirement is future play time for adults.  Once we retire, we can become as little children again. Can you imagine wanting to have a “hard” retirement.  I would much prefer my retirement to be soft and leisurely.  I want to take long walks in the woods, smell more flowers, kick more cans, take more long naps and get in as much unproductive time as I can get in. We all need to have more fun time.  We live in a work-alcoholic world driven by time clocks and computers.  Perhaps, there would be less stress and less crime in our society if we all had more time for fun.  I know there would be less road rage.  

How much time do you have set aside for fun today?  Do you take time each day just for fun?  What do you have to do to have more fun time in your life?  What would your life be like if you could play more and work less?

“Summertime, when the living is easy.”  This line from the musical “Porgy and Bess” by G. Gershwin seems to always resonate in my mind when the warm breezes start blowing the cold weather away in Wisconsin. We all love summer.  For many of us, it is a time of vacations and connotations of freedom from school and work.  However, why does the song say the living is easy?  I think it is because summer seems to bring that association to mind despite the fact that it is not now nor probably ever was easy.  Nevertheless, we think of the lushness of fresh fruit, vegetables, the farmers market and long days and nights.  It does not matter that we may work all summer, the dream is still there of “easy living.” 

As we get older, many of us will think back to our childhoods with fond summer memories of doing nothing but playing baseball, grilling out, fishing, swimming at the lake, camping with our friends or weekends at the cabin with our family.  Perhaps these are more traditional Wisconsin memories but no doubt you will have your own memories associated with summer time.  All over the world, people are in vacation mode during the summertime.  Perhaps you will spend your summer traveling to exotic destinations or simply taking a short trip to visit relatives.  Summer brings a longing for what we want life to have in store for us as we age.  Summer is a time of psychological retirement years before any of us will ever retire.  You might say summertime is practice for that time in your life when you really have retired.

However, now that Karen is retired and I am working less, we have seen first hand how easy it is to stay busy with one project after another. I think we don’t really want to retire, we really want to simply lead the life determined by our own choices and not guided by the “bare necessities of life.”  Summertime is a time of easy living not because living is ever easy, but because we make our choices on what we do and when we want to do them. At least that is our dream.  Are you living your dream?  I hear people using this phrase a great deal as I talk to more retirees.  Why did they wait so long?  Why not live your dream now? Its summertime and the living is supposed to be easy.  

What are your best summer memories? What did you once do each summer that is now simply a memory? What summer traditions do you still celebrate?  What do you hope your future summers will have in store for you?