Aging Capriciously

This week, I want to focus in on friendship.

Don’t worry, I still have some snacks for ya down below 😉

But the meat and potatoes of today’s email is about making friends.

Specifically, making friends as an adult man.

An adult man with a family and a job and financial obligations, and maybe a few hobbies to boot…

Back in the day…

Back in the day, you’d collect a handful of close friends during the first 20 years of your life. You know:

• Kids who lived on your street growing up
• Classmates from middle and high school
• Your college roommates

Then, you’d keep most of these friends for the rest of your life.

These days, though, everyone scatters. They move across the country for a job or spouse.

Even your new friends might relocate in middle age. It’s just normal now.

It’s hard to make new friends. It takes time, effort and vulnerability.

But we need friends. Loneliness leads to depression, and social isolation can shorten lifespans.

Try this at home 👇🏼

When I moved back to Tucson, I was determined to make some dang friends.

As a busy dad, here’s what’s working for me right now:

About once a month, I invite 7-8 guys from my neighborhood over to my house for a beer or three (or water…it’s really not about drinking).

All different kinds of guys:

• Dave is a retiree who’s lived on my street for 30 years.
• Edgar is an accountant who moved in two months ago.
• Eugene is my age and also has two young kids.

I provide a cooler, table snacks and background music. The back gate opens at 8p.

We hang out and talk for a couple hours, then everyone heads home.

This doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m an introvert. I’m uncomfortable at parties.

But I’m forcing it. I’m making these gatherings happen.

And you know what? Most of the people I invite show up.

I think most people are just waiting for an invitation to hang out.

And, the more time we spend together, the closer we become.

We’re becoming friends. It’s amazing!

✍🏻 Your Homework

Host your own neighborhood hang.

Do it this week.

Go knock on some doors, or if you already have contact info, send an email/text.

Your place, Saturday night, 8p.

Maybe one guy will show up. Fine! Do it again next week.

Email me with your results…