Aging Capriciously

A stitch in time saves nine. Even if you do not sew, you will know the meaning of this old saying. It is probably just one of many that you learned as a child. By now, you have heard it so many times, that you no longer remember when you learned it. It is very interesting how so many of our morals and values are guided by little sayings that we learned far back in our early childhood. They tell us we learn 90 percent of our values and morals before we are six years old. Did you ever think you were learning about time management before you were six years old?

In some ways, this saying about time tells us more about planning than all the project management courses we may take later in our lives. It is simple and memorable. It has meaning and relevance because we can all relate to the idea of prevention before a cure is needed. We also all realize that once a problem has occurred it is more difficult to deal with. The time to deal with problems is before they occur. But doing this requires good timing and planning ahead for emergencies and contingencies. If you were practicing this little homily when you were six years old, you were doing contingency planning and you probably could not even spell the word contingency.

The question is “Do we still practice it?” Is it always good advice? Are there exceptions to this pithy piece of wisdom? If you were ever in the Boy Scouts, you would be familiar with the motto “Be prepared.” But how can you be prepared for all possible emergencies? How can you be prepared if you do not take the time or have the time to think ahead? It is not always easy to “Be prepared.” One secret is not to wait until the last minute to plan. Start a list of what you will need long before you will need it. You will be surprised at how the list will grow. I can guarantee you that my students who wait until the last minute to do their assignments or papers are always the ones who do the poorest job or have the most excuses why they could not get the paper in on time. “The snow came, my computer crashed, the baby was delivered, the dog ran away, and I was sick.” These things happen to each of us every day. But if they happen on the day the project or work is due, you now have a problem.

Do you wait until the last minute or do you think ahead about what you need? Are you chronically dealing with emergencies? Do you plan ahead or wait until the deadline draws near? Where would a stitch in your life save you nine today?

“Well, I’ve got some time to kill today.” We have all heard and used this expression. It means that somehow we have some unexpected free time. It is time that does not need to be accounted for or time when nothing is scheduled. Many of us wish we more often had time to kill. It is a very interesting thought. I am going to kill some time. What measures do I take to kill time or how does one go about killing time. There are lists you can find of time killers. In airports, one finds that arcade games are often used simply as time killers. However, more often today, one finds people doing their work on the kiosk type internet connections available in airports. In Japan, Pachinko parlors are a major way to kill time. But can we really kill time?

How does one kill something which does not exist? If it does exist, then is time alive? Most people would say that time is not something living or biological. However, the expression seems to indicate that time is something that has a life of its own and that we can kill. With time in such short supply, it might seem immoral or unethical to kill it. It is certainly not illegal. I have not yet heard of anyone going to jail for “killing time.” But with time in such short supply, maybe killing time should be a crime. How could anyone have the audacity to kill something that is so precious and limited? Maybe we should declare that time is an endangered species and put a moratorium on “killing” time. Religions could declare it a mortal sin to kill time. We could create police units designed to ferret out people who kill time.

We could stop killing time, but then life might not be very much fun. Killing time is actually one of those breaks that we all need to take. We manage, coordinate, plan and schedule too much of our time. Time to be killed may just be one of the last pleasures of modern life. Do you ever kill time? Do you spend enough time “killing” time? Do you worry and feel guilty because you could put the time to better use? As the song goes, “Don’t worry, be happy.” Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all could find more time to kill and worry less about being productive and managing our time?

I have often thought that time and money are a lot like matter and energy. Physicists tell us that matter and energy are convertible or exchangeable. Matter can be transformed into energy and energy into matter. Indeed the famous equation by Einstein E=MC2 is evidence of this ability. I believe that the same is true of time and money. If I have a great deal of time, I can do things that it would normally take money to do. For instance, I can do my own home repairs, car repairs, house cleaning etc. On the other hand, if I have lots of money, I can exchange it for time by paying someone to do these things for me and thus creating more time for myself. My theory about time and money helps me relate my time and money to each other. Thinking of them as interchangeable allows me to prioritize both my time and money and to conserve on what is most important to me. I do not treat either as them as fixed and immutable.

If I job needs to be done, I simply review my priorities and my assets (time and money are both assets to me) and decide the best way to get the task done. I might pay someone to mow my lawn if I want to do something else more productive or fun or I just might do it myself. I do not feel that I have to do all of the chores or tasks in my life. It will all depend on what it happening at that time in my life and what my goals and objectives are. A great deal will also depend on what I really feel like doing with my time and money. Without this theory, it is very easy to let people pressure you into spending time or money that you would rather conserve or exchange. For instance, I always pay a shop to do my motorcycle oil changes and tune-ups. I would rather be out riding than repairing my bikes. Many bikers abhor the thought of anyone working on their bikes. I have friends who spend more time repairing and fixing their bikes then they do riding them.

What is most important to you today? Are you sacrificing time for money when you would rather have more time? Or are you sacrificing money for time by paying to have something done you could do yourself? Are you happy with your balance between the two?

She was ahead of her times! That invention was ahead of its time! We are often amazed when we find out that some ideas or some products and services were either thought of or offered many years before they became popular. Wal-Mart was not well known until the 80’s but the company actually started in the early 50’s. U-Haul took off when all the baby boomers decided to move from the East coast to the West coast and needed a cheap reliable way to haul their goods out to California. However, U-Haul started shortly after World War II and was around for 20 years before it began its rapid growth.

What if you are ahead of the times? This might not always be a good thing. Sometimes inventions are too early and people are just not ready for them. The first computer created by Charles Babbage was not very practical due to its size and mode of operation. It took the invention and application of electricity to make a practical computer. The idea of applying nuclear energy began around 1900 but it took the Manhattan project and the invention of the atom bomb to show the reality and potential of nuclear power.

Thus, “timing is everything.” You can be ahead of your time and never see the success of your idea or invention. Nevertheless, most of us would rather be accused of being ahead of our time rather than “behind the times.” Have you ever been ahead of the times? Has anyone ever told you that you were ahead of the times? Do you have ideas for products and services that you see are subsequently developed by someone else? Do you capitalize on your ability to think ahead? Do you feel that you need to be more ahead of the times or are you satisfied with where you are now? What would it take for you to be more ahead of the times? How might this ability affect your life?

Let’s explore the way that we use some common terms or phrases concerning time. We talk about being on time, being ahead of the times and being behind the times. We use these phrases so often that they become “unconscious” and we seldom reflect on what they mean or whether they really mean what we want them to mean. We all think we know what they mean but do we really agree with what they mean? Are we using them “correctly?”

For instance, we sometimes say that someone we know is “stuck” in the past. We may say this because they seem to fondly remember their best days as when they were in high school or when they were in college or when they lived someplace else or some other time that was happier or more pleasant for them. However, are they really stuck in the past? What does it mean to be stuck in the past? Can they be partially stuck or only stuck sometimes? If so, how can they get “unstuck?” Are we all stuck in the past at least sometimes?

There are many other phrases that we use concerning time that have become so habitual with us that we take them for granted. We assume that we know what they mean when we hear them. We apply them to our lives and to those around us without thinking about how we use them or what their use implies. The novel “Alice in Wonderland” by Lewis Carroll is so powerful because the meaning of words and the way they are used in the story forces us to rethink the meaning of some very common ideas. For instance, who ever heard of an “un-birthday” party? Well, it is a wonderful twist on an expectation that you can only have a party on your birthday. You can have an “unbirthday party” 364 days a year. One of my favorite exchanges in the story takes place between Alice and Humpty Dumpty:

Humpty Dumpty: When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean – neither more nor less.
Alice: The question is, whether you can make words mean so many different things.
Humpty Dumpty: The question is: which is to be master – that’s all.

The phrases that we use concerning time can have many different meanings. We each choose the meaning that we desire or that we learned as a child. Other people may have different meanings or different associations. For instance, what does it mean to be late? What does it mean to be on-time? Who decides what is late and who decides what is on-time is? How much is late? What does it take to be on time? Who decides? Well of course, you and I do, right? Well, then how come so much of the world seems to thwart our best efforts to be on time? Maybe we are all dancing to a different beat.

Is it worth the effort to get everybody in sync? Does everyone you know agree with your definitions of time? What if your definitions of time were more flexible? What difference would this make for your family and friends? Are you too flexible already? What if you were less flexible? Would your life be smoother and happier?

February was named after the Latin term Februltus, which means “a righting of wrongs.” It is a month when we begin looking towards the end of winter and the beginning of spring. We are now more relaxed since the holidays are long over, but it is still too cold and wintry to do much outside. So what can we do in February? Well, maybe the idea of “righting wrongs” is a good use of our time. In the 12 Step AA program, one is expected to make a list of the people they have wronged and ask for forgiveness; those friends relatives or even acquaintances that we have hurt or taken advantage of in some way.

We can all think back through the past year and remember something we did that hurt someone or something we did that we wished we could correct. Can you think of a better use of an entire month, then to make amends with the people who you have hurt, lost, forgot or even just not talked to in a long time? Who do you need to make amends with? Who could you right a wrong with? How about starting with one person today and see how it goes? Remember, you only have 28 days in February (except on leap year) so you should start soon. Think of how much better you will feel.

Have you ever tried to be creative in a hurry? It is probably not going to happen. Some of the greatest ideas in history have come at either spontaneous or random times. Indeed, many great ideas have come in dreams or during periods of sleep or relaxation. You cannot always be creative on a schedule. Conversely, creativity is a process like any other activity and can be acheived throught the systematic use and application of time tested principles.

The creative process proceeds through steps. One of the earliest models of the creative process is attributed to Graham Wallas (The Art of Thought, New York: Harcourt Brace, 1926) who proposed that creative thinking proceeds through the following four phases:

Preparation (definition of issue, observation, and study)
Incubation (laying the issue aside for a time)
Illumination (the moment when a new idea finally emerges)
Verification (checking it out)

Of course, not all experts agree with the idea of steps or stages for creativity
For example, Vinacke (1953) is adamant that creative thinking in the arts does not follow a model. In a similar vein, Gestalt philosophers like Wertheimer (1945) assert that the process of creative thinking is an integrated line of thought that does not lend itself to the segmentation implied by the steps of a model. But while such views are strongly held, they are in the minority. (Working Paper: Models for the Creative Process by Paul E. Plsek, 1996) http://www.directedcreativity.com

Which ever way you look at it, time plays a key role in the creative process. If creativity does require preparation, incubation, illumination and verification each of these tasks takes time. I would also add some time for stimulation to the process. Something must be sufficient to stimulate and motivate me to want to solve a problem or be creative. If not, I will not put the time and energy into looking for a solution. Each of the phases noted above takes time.

Many people believe that it takes a great deal of imagination to be creative. Some of us might feel wanting in this area. It is true some people are more imaginative then others. However, I would argue that if we apply time to our problems in a systematic fashion than we can all be creative. If you think you can solve your problems overnight, you are going to be disappointed. If you realize that it will take time and you are willing to apply a systematic process to your problems then almost any problem is solvable.

What problems have you been ignoring that a systematic use of time and effort might help you to solve? How could you start working on those problems? What changes in your life might occur if you could solve these problems? Have you labeled yourself as unimaginative and uncreative? Who could help you with these problems? A little help with any issue can provide new insights and illumination.

Time and tide wait for no man or woman; an old saying that has been around forever. Despite this good advice, there are people who are forever waiting. In fact, some might argue that the world is composed of two types of people; the wait-ers and the do-ers. Wait-ers are people who hope that good things will come to them and do-ers are people that make the good things come to them. Wait-ers hope to win the lottery so they can buy the things they want. Do-ers go out and make the money to buy what they want. We all have friends who fall into these categories or habits. Friends who are waiting to take a holiday to another country, friends who are waiting for Mr. or Ms. right, friends who are waiting for their ship to arrive. We eventually come to realize that they will be dead and buried before any of these things happen. One of the reasons why Nike’s motto “Just do it” is so powerful is the way it resonates with most of us at a primal level. We all want to be doers but many of us fall into the category of wait-ers.

Why do we wait is a good question? Why do we wait and wait and wait and wait? What fears stop us (because the answer to the first question is FEAR) from becoming doers? What can we do to overcome these fears? Psychologists would say that the first step is to overcome the excuses and denial and to admit our fears. Once we admit our fears, we can take the second step. The second step is to decide to do something about our fears. I was afraid of heights. For years, I admitted it but could not decide what to do about it. Finally, I decided to do a solo parachute jump. It took me nearly ten years but I finally did it on my 55th birthday. Since then, I am much less intimated by being up high. The third step is to decide what you need to do to overcome your fear. There are often many remedies, but which is the right solution for you. For me, it was to find a sky diving club, join them and take a class in sky-diving. The fourth and final step is to take action. Once I decided to take the sky-diving training and jump, I had to actually attend the training and then go to the school. I had to make several trips to the airport before I could jump because on two consecutive occasions the airport was closed for jumping due to bad weather. I almost gave up the idea but the third time was a charm. I was able to jump by myself out of the plane at about 5000 feet. Believe me when I say, I was scared to death. However as I floated down, I realized the beauty and unreality of the entire event. I actually relaxed enough to start enjoying it once my chute opened. Had I not taken action, the entire first three steps would be worthless.

Which are you, a wait-er or a do-er? We all are wait-ers in some areas of our lives. We all have fears that cause us to avoid or put off doing certain things. What are the events and activities that you put off? What are the fears you have to overcome? Can you practice these four steps or just take one of them this next year? What do you think would happen if you did? How do you think your life would be different? Life is waiting for you to start.

Went to a wedding a short time ago and found some good advice at the church. I picked up a card in the pew and found an interesting comment on it. The comment on the card was from the web site: http://www.getpeace.org, and read: “The rest of the world is going at super speed, and few individuals take the time to be nice.” It went on to point out that we need to take the time to be kind to others. It helps them and it helps us. A few years ago, someone made the idea of “random acts of kindness” very popular. That had always appealed to me until I read the following: “Why random acts of kindness, why not systematic and intentional daily acts of kindness.” This makes a great deal of sense. Why should kindness be random in our society? Who was it that said “What knowledge is there that is greater than kindness.”

We read daily of “random acts of violence” but violence is not random in our world. Violence is daily and systematic. Violence destroys the fabric of society and of our lives. The only antidote to violence is kindness. Can we be more kind? Can we be less violent? What if today you took some time to be kind to someone whom you did not know? How do you think you might feel after?

Come back to these thoughts of kindness at the end of the day and answer these questions: Where you able to be kind to someone today? Did you make a difference today? Did you feel better? What if you tried to be kind every day? What if you programmed yourself for daily acts of intentional and planned kindness? Would the world be a better place if we all did that? Who will be the first to try?

“Now is the winter of our discontent” is a famous opening line from Shakespeare’s Richard The Third Act 1, scene 1, 1–4. Whether or not as many have noted, the future King Richard was expressing joy rather than discontent is irrelevant. The major point here being that for many winter is a source of discontent. In Minnesota, winter is dreaded due to the cold, snow and ice storms. We have an inordinate amount of accidents during the winter months that plague drivers and slow the commutes down. We have about five months of winter compared to three months of summer. We even have a phenomenon called “Snow Birds.’ These are people who fly south every winter to live in Florida, Arizona, Texas or some other warm place.

However, for some winter is a wonderland of snow and ice and white vistas. It is a time of renewal. A time when life retreats, days are short and you want nothing more than to sit in front of a warm fireplace with a good book until summer comes. Winter forces life to slow down. I have always loved winter; perhaps because I enjoy the outdoors so much. It is hard to describe the beauty of a snowstorm when you are out skiing in the woods and the entire landscape is like something out of a fairy tale. The snowflakes are gently falling and the pine trees are flocked with snow. You turn to see a great grey owl sitting on a branch perhaps watching you ski. Soon you notice a small group of deer simply walking by and ignoring you. A nearby trout stream with its deep blue water is winding its way through the snow covered pines and birch trees. The brilliant blue of the water sparkling against the snow and ice covered banks. The world is white on white with blue and brown contrasts. You notice the water gurgling and the sun beams dancing off the snowflakes. You are in the middle of a diamond like wonderland.

Winter is a time of change. It offers a respite from the hectic pace of summer. During winter, I slow my routines down and I feel like there is more time to do things for myself rather than taking care of the yard, going on vacations, spending time with the relatives, etc. Winter is a time for reconciliation. It is a time for quiet solitude and reflection. Winter is when we can be reborn.

What do you think of winter? Is it just a time you hope is over very quickly? Is it a time you look forward to? What could you do to make your winters more worthwhile and interesting? What activities would help make winter more exciting for you? Where could you go to renew yourself this winter? What hurts and fences might you find the time to mend? Can you make this winter a time of “Content.”