Aging Capriciously

September is the ninth month of the year in the Gregorian calendar and one of four Gregorian months with 30 days. September is my favorite month of the year. For me, September is the beginning of fall. Autumn is well underway by the beginning of September and by the middle of September the leaves will soon start changing. Technically fall does not begin until September 21st, but we all know that the real end of summer is on Labor Day. In many parts of the world, summer ends when students head back to school and that is generally in September. The fall weather and temperature are perfect (for me anyway) and I love the changing colors of the landscapes.

I love the cool crisp air and the beauty of the trees, shrubs and falling leaves. I love the many fall flowers and the bright red Sumac bushes. The flowers and bright red bushes are soon complimented by the Oaks, Maples and Popular trees which will contribute bright yellows, oranges and reds to the panoply of colors. When the leaves start gently falling, the end of fall is all too soon. However, the leaves have an almost ethereal quality as they float to the ground and cover it in a rich collage of hues and tones.

I should also mention that I was born in September and of course birthdays bring some treats. However, I would still love the fall with or without my birthday. Many people do not feel the same way that I do about the fall, particularly in Minnesota. Karen does not enjoy September nearly as much as I do. She says she can only think that when fall is over, winter will soon be here. In some parts of the world, fall lasts somewhat longer than in Minnesota. Weather-wise, we have a two month fall that covers September and October. Never mind that the calendar says fall ends on December 20, it really ends right after Halloween. By then the colors are over and most of the leaves need to be raked up. Not to mention, we generally have snow long before the “end” of fall.

What is your favorite month of the year? Why? What is your favorite season of the year? Do you enjoy each season or do you have a special season you look forward to?

It was destiny! Pete Seeger is one of my favorite singers and one of the most remarkable people in the world. The song from which the refrain “it was destiny” came was “Who Killed Davey Moore.” The story of a boxer who dies in the ring and no one will claim any responsibility. Pete shows us our own hypocrisy and cynicism as we all manage to sidestep any responsibility for the death of another human being. We can all walk away not feeling guilty and keep telling ourselves that these things just happen.

Don’t say ‘murder,’ don’t say ‘kill.’
It was destiny, it was God’s will.”

God just seems to work this way in the world. People die and it is destiny. Destiny implies that all of our life and hence all of our time is “predetermined.” Whatever happens is going to happen. We have no choice and no alternatives. Hence, it is destiny and we cannot be blamed for destiny, can we? To subscribe to this philosophy seems like the ultimate pessimism to me. I will never accept it. I will never believe that you and I cannot make a difference in the world. The evidence is irrefutable. Abundant examples exist of people who for both better and worse have made a difference on the world. The world would be a much different place without the numerous courageous people that have tread its dominions.

Today and tomorrow each of us has the power to make a difference that can substantially change the world for the better. When I kick the destiny excuse, I start taking responsibility for my time and for my life and for the rest of the world. There is no destiny other than a set of choices we make on how we will spend our life. We create our destiny by these choices. We create the destiny for the world we live in. This world reflects the millions of daily decisions made by you and me and our neighbors.

What destiny will you create today? What choices will you make that can change the time of the world and your own time? Can you make those choices with a good heart and compassion for yourself and others?

One second in Dallas is the time that it would have taken to make a difference for John F. Kennedy and the world. If Oswald had either pulled the trigger one second earlier or one second later, history as we know it would be very different. As you think about it, throughout the past, there have been many times when one second either did make or could have made a difference that changed the world.

When you think about your own life, perhaps you have had the same close calls. One second at a red light or one second before you moved might have saved your life. One second is the smallest practical unit of time measurement that we use. We often take our seconds for granted. Like pennies today, we allow them to be discarded or we ignore them when they are just lying on the ground. Yet, our seconds are the most precious moments we have. The seconds with a loved one before they pass away or the seconds that bring us wonders we never anticipated. Many of the most important events in our lives are over in seconds and will never be repeated.

I was sitting over a fireplace outside with some friends the other night. It was nearly 11 PM and the sky was very clear. The moon was not too bright but there seemed to be a million stars in the sky. I turned around to see where the Big Dipper was and suddenly there flamed the beautiful trail of a shooting star as it blazed across the night sky. I turned around back to the others who were sitting around the fireplace and yelled, “Look at the shooting star,” but it was too late. Not one of my three friends had seen the slightest trace or sign of the beautiful star I had just witnessed. It was over in less than a second. The other three people intent on watching the fire or some bit of conversation had missed one of the most moving events in the world. Life can happen that fast and often does.

Thus, the words “Live each second to the fullest” and you will live a very full life make a great deal of sense. Like someone once said, “If you watch the pennies, the dollars will take care of themselves.” If you watch your seconds, the minutes and days will take care of themselves. What are some seconds that have made a major difference in your life? Have you had some seconds that you will never forget? What difference has one second made to you? Do you squander your seconds or have you learned to be frugal with life?

Time marches on. You can hear the cadence of the drumbeat. You can see all of the good soldiers keeping a measured pace. Left, right, left, right, left, right, to the beat of the time clock. Tick, step, tick, step, tick, step, tick, step, tick, step. The clock beats and we march. We must keep up. The clock is relentless. It never stops or falters. Another one loses the pace and is left behind. We keep marching. No matter how tired we get, we can not afford to stop. We are all good soldiers. We are all marching every day to the beat of this unknown time drummer. All of us in perfect rhythm to the time clocks in our lives. We are all trying to remain in sync with this mysterious drummer. We are marching, marching, marching. We are marching ever onwards towards life, towards glory, towards fame, towards fortune, towards death. We are marching but often we do not even know what we are marching for or to.

Where will you march to today? Are you in the band, watching the band or one of those who do not even know a band is ticking and marching away? Whose drum are you marching to? Is it your own drum or someone else’s? Are you able to keep perfect cadence or do you sometimes fall out of step with life? How hard is it to get back in sync with the rest of the band? Sometimes, you may just need to give yourself a break from the march. Do you get enough breaks or do you feel like you are a rat on a treadmill? What stops you from leaving the band? Is today a good day to take a break from the band? Perhaps you will live longer if you do less marching!

Thursday is the day we are on the downward side of the week. In some countries, Thursday is the fourth day of the week and in others, it is the fifth day of the week. It was first named after the Roman god Jupiter. In English, Thursday became “Thor’s Day”, since the Roman god Jupiter was identified with Thor in northern Europe. Thor was the Norse God of Thunder. The Scandinavians believed that as his chariot crossed the sky, Thor wielded a hammer that shot lightening through the clouds.

When we think of Thursday now, we probably don’t think of Gods and Thunder any more. We are probably thinking “Tomorrow is Friday, one more day to go this week.” Even though many of us love our work and miss it when we are on vacation too long, the freedom of the weekend and what Saturday and Sunday represent beckons us the entire week. We mark the days until the weekend. Each week becomes a journey we take and on the way, we pass through Thursday. It is not the most remarkable day in the week nor is it the hardest day in the week. Its primary significance seems to be that by the time Thursday comes around; we know that tomorrow (Friday) will be the END of the week. Of course, if you work weekends this will not be true. If you do not work a standard week, then very likely Thursday will not have the same meaning for you.

What does Thursday mean for you? What notable or special events in your life do you associate with Thursday? What is the single best thing that ever happened to you on a Thursday?

How come time was not a Greek virtue? We think of the different virtues that the Greeks honored but time was not one of them. Aristotle and Plato both wrote about virtues and listed a number of key ones, but timeliness was not included. Whenever pictures of the Greek virtues are represented, it seems as though most of them are depicted as women. Faith, Hope, Justice etc. are all usually statues of women. How and why the Greeks did not think that timeliness was a virtue eludes me. Perhaps, time was not as important in the “old” days.

Well, today time and timeliness should be considered right up there with the great virtues. Only, in light of the need to provide some diversity, I think the Virtue of Time should be depicted as a man. I would design the Virtue of Time as a middle-aged man dressed in a business suit. He would be wearing a Rolex and carrying a Prada briefcase. He would be shown running with one arm raised and looking at his watch. On the bottom of the statue would be the words “Tempus Fugit.” Statues of Time could be placed in major banks, business institutions and all schools. Children would learn at an early age the virtue of being on time. How can we expect to run a modern society without the Virtue of Time?

Is time a virtue to you? Do you think it should be included among the great virtues of the world? If not, how do you justify its important to modern society? Do you think we are too obsessed with time? Are you too obsessed with time? Can you balance the virtue of timeliness with the other important virtues in your life?

Have you ever given yourself the “gift of time?” Truly, it is the gift that keeps on giving. If you have ever had a meeting canceled, a snow day at work or school, your IT system go down or an appointment canceled that you really did not want to keep; you have been given the gift of time. Such a gift is ineffable, it is hard to describe. You want to shout and jump for joy. I can hear myself thinking the words of Martin Luther King: “Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, we are free at last.” The ‘gift of time” becomes my freedom. Perhaps, not in the sense that MLK was thinking about these words, but my feeling of freedom is real. I am free with time to spend and no immediate obligations or responsibilities to spend it on.

How often do you get a “gift of time?” Usually, it happens because somebody or something forces us to give up time that we had scheduled. We rely on others to give us this gift. Perhaps it is special because it is seldom planned. Ironically, it is free for us to give to ourselves, if we choose. Maybe we should give ourselves this gift more often. We are often reluctant to cancel or change plans because we feel responsible or we feel that we don’t have the right to change prior decisions on how we will spend out time. We are afraid of being seen as unreliable. However, it is your perfect right to change your mind. If things are getting hectic or you feel overwhelmed, give yourself a gift of time. You have the right to give yourself the ‘gift of time” whenever you choose to.

Do you have meetings or appointments that you really don’t want to go to? Do you schedule things and later regret that you did? What if you canceled these? What is the worst thing that could happen? Would they really fire you? Maybe if you did it too often, you would suffer drastic consequences. However, occasionally, you should think of giving yourself a gift of time. Try it today, see how it feels. Just don’t cancel that meeting with your boss. 

Have you ever heard of “wish” time? We take the time to wish in a fountain, we wish on stars, we make wishes when we pray and sometimes we simply make a wish. A certain portion of our lives is spent wishing. Perhaps some of us wish too much and others do not wish enough. Wishing without action is fruitless, but action without a dream is worthless. Wishing can be a metaphor for what we want out of life or what we hope our lives can become.

Karen and I went to visit Rome a few years ago. On part of a tour we took, there was a large fountain (made famous in the movie “Three Coins in a Fountain”) called the Trevi Fountain. You stood with your back to the fountain, threw a coin over your shoulder and made your wish. If you did this properly, you would someday return to Rome and your wish would be granted. I am not sure if either will come true but we did it anyway. I love to throw coins in fountains, pools or wishing wells and make a wish. I don’t know if any has come true since I seldom keep track of my wishes. I guess if I were more organized, I could keep an Excel spreadsheet on my wishes. One column would be place, one date and one the wish I made. The final column would be a metric on the degree of success I had with that particular wish at that place. Perhaps some places are better for wishing than for others. I am sure a more scientific analysis could help us to determine the best places to wish in the world and even which wishes are most likely to come true. On the other hand, I would not hold my breath.

How much time each day do you spend wishing? Are you someone who spends too much time wishing or not enough? Are you too much of a daydreamer or someone who days not dream of what can be? What would you need to do to get a better balance of wish time in your life? What would it take to make your wishes a reality? Wishes can become dreams. Dreams can become goals and goals can become reality.

Who is not juggling time today? When we talk about multi-tasking it is like the juggler who must keep four or five balls in the air at the same time. With all of the demands on our time, we are all acrobats with time. We have become a nation of time jugglers. Our mantra is “no time.” As time jugglers, we must be very careful not to let one of the balls hit the ground. We have numerous tools to help us keep the balls in the air. We have clocks, stop watches, regular watches, alarms, bells, buzzers, PDA’s, cell phones and GPS to incessantly remind us of our juggling chores. Time to switch, time to stop, time to start, time to go, time to do it, time to relax, time to run, time to exercise, time to visit, time to work, time to let go, time to sleep, time for ourselves, time for family, time, time and more time. We are both jugglers and rats in a maze of time. Running and running to find our way out of the maze while not dropping any of the balls that we are juggling.

Have you learned the fine art of “time juggling?” Can you keep the balls all up in the air without dropping any? Where did you learn your juggling skills? Did you attend the Institute of Time Management or the Institute of Life and Coping skills? Have you become a “master” juggler yet? A master juggler astounds us with how much they get done and how successful they are. They are the supermen and superwomen of today’s modern world. How we ask do they get so much done and never break a sweat!

Perhaps we all need to take more training in “time management.” Pick up one of the million books on time management or take one of the billion courses on “how to better manage your time.” If you have already taken one of these courses, maybe it is time for you to attend a refresher class. On the other hand, what would happen if you stopped juggling time for a day? Where would the balls all go? Do you ever notice which balls are harder and which are easier for you to juggle? Why do you suppose some are harder and some easier? Try juggling one less ball today, see how it feels. Do two less tomorrow and three less the next day. Perhaps you will one day have no balls to juggle and then you will not need any time management. What do you think that would feel like? Imagine a day without any balls to juggle?

Living time backwards! I once heard someone say that it would be wonderful if we could be born 90 years old and grow younger instead of older. We would be born old and naïve and as we got younger, we would progressively be wiser and healthier. It is a very intriguing idea if you do not stop too long to question the anatomical difficulties. Imagine being at the height of your physical prowess and having lived 60 years already. What would it be like to have lived for 60 years and have the physical age of a thirty year old?

Many things which I do not even begin to attempt today would not seem as challenging or difficult. I would not feel like my life was running down. Instead, I would feel like my life was running up. I probably would not be worried about retirement benefits, health insurance or funeral arrangements. Growing younger rather than older physically would change our entire world perspective. We would be getting smarter and healthier with each passing day. The mistakes of youth would now belong to old age; with youth would come wisdom instead of inexperience. We would become better drivers and athletes as we became “younger.” Imagine what effect this would have on the sporting world. Teams would be looking for younger people who were really older in age but who came with thirty or forty or even fifty years of experience. Today most athletes peak in their late twenties with perhaps fifteen or so years of experience. If we lived backwards we would peak in our twenties but with 40 or more years of experience. The impacts on the entertainment world and academic worlds would be equally profound. Imagine “young” people in these fields with forty or more years of experience.

What endeavors would you start today, if you suddenly became twenty or more years younger? What mistakes would you have been able to avoid if you had the wisdom you had now several years ago? What if you knew for certain that you were going to live another sixty years? How would this knowledge change your life?