Once upon a time a mother had two daughters. The Mom’s name was Teresa. The oldest daughter was named Romela, and the younger daughter was Amelia. At the time of this story, the oldest daughter was 20. Amelia had just turned 18. Teresa was 45 and a single mom. Their father had been gone for ten years after running off with their babysitter. Teresa never remarried or even dated. She was a rather plain looking woman. Marriage had taught her that men preferred sex appeal over brains, beauty over character and youth over age. She tried to teach these lessons to her daughters and kept a close watch on both.
Things were not easy for Teresa. She did not have much education and lacked any formal training that would provide a higher income. After her husband left, she had to go to work immediately, and she took a job as a nurse’s aide. The hours were long, the work was hard, and the pay was low. Teresa did all she could to put clothes and food on the table for her two girls. They were the most important part of her life, and she did not mind the toil and labor as long as her children were happy and well provided for. Someday, when the girls had left Teresa hoped to go to school and become a lawyer.
Romela took her mother’s advice. She did not date much in high school or even after high school. Romela wanted to go to college to become a physician’s assistant. She had loved biology in high school and liked helping people. She was living with her mother and younger sister until she had the funds to go to school. Her life was spent working full time days at Walmart. Nights she waitressed at a local restaurant called The Joint. She put some money aside for college and the rest she gave to her mom to help pay the bills. Dating did not enter her mind.
Amelia was another story. Despite her mother’s constant haranguing and reprimands, she disregarded her schoolwork and studies. She spent more time running around with boys and gave not one care about her future. Teresa asked her repeatedly what she planned to do when she left high school and Amelia’s usual reply was “Can’t you get off my back and leave me alone.” Teresa would respond “I care about you and want you to live a better life than I have lived.” “Don’t worry, I will” was Amelia’s answer.
One day Teresa came home from work and went into her bedroom to get some money. She kept a supply of cash in her dresser for shopping and groceries. The money was not a large sum, only a few hundred dollars. It was not really hidden as much as it was just stuffed into a small drawer. Both daughters knew where their mom kept the money. Teresa opened the drawer, and all the money was gone. At first Teresa wondered if she had already spent the money. She thought the problem over and realized she had not. She looked elsewhere in the house and did not find it. She decided to wait until the kids came home and ask them if they had taken it or knew what had happened to it.
It was past 5 pm when Romela came home. Teresa gave her a hug when she had taken her coat off. Romela was in a hurry because she needed to get to her second job. Teresa told her about the missing money and asked if by chance, Romela had needed the money for some emergency or other reason. Romela was very surprised but replied that she did not take the money and would never take a penny without asking her mom first. Romela then changed clothes and went out the door to her waitress job.
It was now past 6 PM and Amelia had not come home from school. Teresa was very worried and called the school. The principle’s assistant answered and said that Amelia had not been detained for any reason and as far as they knew she had gotten on the bus to go home. Teresa then called Amelia’s best friend Tina. Tina answered her phone and seemed somewhat evasive. “NO! I have not seen Amelia all day and I do not know where she is.” Teresa spent the next few hours calling everyone she knew but no one could give her any information as to Amelia’s whereabouts. Finally, in desperation, Teresa called the police department.
The sergeant at the police information desk took all the data about Amelia from her mom, height, weight, and age. He also asked Teresa to send a picture by email of Amelia. He said that protocol dictated the police could not begin a search for 24 hours. He understood her worry but it was not uncommon for teenagers to skip out for a while. He noted that if Amelia was not back by the morning Teresa should call and they would start a formal search. When Romela came home from work Teresa gave her the third degree, but Romela was also clueless. She and Amelia did not really talk much and as sisters go were not close.
Teresa spent a sleepless night. By morning she was not able to concentrate and decided to call in sick to her employer. She paced the house until noon hoping for Amelia to walk in the front door. Finally, she called the police back. They asked a few more questions and said that they would investigate her daughter’s disappearance.
It was several hours later when a detective from the police department arrived at Teresa’s house. Teresa greeted him at the door, and he said that he would like to come in and talk to her about Amelia. “No, he did not know where Amelia was” but he could give Teresa some information about her seeming disappearance. The police had questioned each of Amelia’s closest friends including Tina. Tina was very nervous, and it made the police very suspicious. They brought Tina down to the police station where she gave them the following story.
Amelia had a real crush on an older guy named Pat that she regularly hung with. Amelia and Pat decided to take off together. However, they did not have any money. When Amelia told Pat about her mom’s stash, he suggested that it would be just what they would need to buy some drugs and leave the state for a better place like Florida or Arizona. Together they had taken the money and left town.
The detective said that because Amelia was no longer a minor, they were limited in what they could do. However, they would put out an “All-Points Bulletin” (APB) for her and put her on the missing persons list. They would keep Teresa informed of any updates in the investigation and hoped to find Amelia as soon as possible.
Teresa was devastated. She was heartbroken. She did not care about the money. She only wanted to know that Amelia was safe.
Days, weeks, months and finally years went by with no information or contacts from Amelia. Romela moved on with her life. She saved up enough money to go to college. She did well in school and went on to become a physician’s assistant. She moved out of her mom’s house, met a young doctor, and got married. They bought a modest home and now had three children.
Teresa never went back to school to become a lawyer. All she could ever think about day and night was her daughter Amelia. Was she ok? Was she happy? Why did she never call? Was she that rotten a mom? Where had she gone wrong? Would Amelia ever come back? She called the police department at least every week to see if they had any more information. They were patient and kind but very sorry as they had no further knowledge regarding Amelia’s where about. They did have some information about the guy Amelia left with. A few years after they had left, Pat had been participating in a home burglary in Arizona. The homeowner had shot him during the burglary. Pat never regained consciousness and died on the way to the hospital. Nothing else was known concerning where or who Pat had been living with.
Twenty years went by. Teresa had recently retired from her job at a local hospital. She loved spending time with her daughter’s family and was a wonderful grandmother. She put truth to all the memes and tropes about grandparents spoiling their grandchildren. They all loved her very much. Of course, they had all heard the story from their mom Romela about their worthless Aunt Amelia. A woman they had never met but had no desire to meet. They never brought up the story of her disappearance with their grandmother. They could sense the sadness and underlying pain that she still had concerning this daughter. It was hard for them to understand how anyone could have done such a thing to a kind and generous person like their grandmother. They would love to give this person a piece of their mind.
Ten more years went by. Teresa was no hypochondriac but concerning her health the years had not been kind. She was getting more and more arthritic. She had undergone surgery for breast cancer. A minor stroke had caused some paralysis on her left side. Lifting anything was very difficult for her. She had a harder time walking. Many days were spent in bed not feeling well. Romela had urged her repeatedly to sell the old house and move in with them. They had bought a bigger house and had plenty of room for Teresa. Why was she so stubborn?
The reason for her stubbornness lay in her belief about her daughter Amelia. Teresa was waiting for her to come back. Day after day she prayed that someday Amelia would come home. Deep in her heart she believed that some day Amelia would return. She wanted to be in the house when Amelia came back. Amelia would knock on the door and Teresa would greet her with a big hug and tell her how much she loved her and had missed her.
One Saturday, Romela stopped by to visit her mom. She found the front door unlocked and walked in. “Mom are you home” she called out. She did not get a response. She looked in the kitchen but did not see her mom. She walked to her mother’s bedroom and the door was shut. She assumed that her mom was in bed either not feeling well or sleeping. She knocked on the door but did not receive an answer. She quietly pushed the door open and saw her mother apparently sleeping in bed. She was about to leave but noticed that her mom looked rather pale. She went over to the bed and asked “Mom, are you all right.” Receiving no reply she felt for a breath or pulse. There was none. Her mother had passed away. She died at the age of 78.
They had an elaborate if somewhat traditional funeral for Teresa. She had many friends, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. She was well respected in her church and in her community. Teresa had never had an argument with anyone and was widely thought of as an angel who always helped those in need. Everyone there talked about how much she would be missed. No one mentioned the one sadness in Teresa’s life. It seemed to be an unspoken skeleton that none there wanted to bring up.
Few noticed the woman in the back of the church. She did not talk to anyone, but her face was covered in tears. She quietly walked out after the service was over but stopped to sign the guest book. In it she wrote. “Amelia, Sorry Mom. I love You.”
Aging Capriciously 