Aging Capriciously

While surfing the Internet a few days ago, I came across the following story by Ms. Jackie Fishman.  I was very moved by her story.  It was certainly a story that deserved retelling.  Her story has so many uplifting themes it is hard to describe them all.  Themes of determination, themes of courage, themes of personal responsibility, themes of renewal, themes of hope and themes of resilience.  Her story also reflects some negative themes that I saw during my three years as an employment counselor.  Themes of age discrimination, themes of one-way loyalty and an overall callous labor market that uses and discards people as nothing more than commodities.

I wrote to Ms. Fishman and asked for permission to reprint her story.  The following is in Jackie’s words and has not been edited.  Again, I think it is a story of courage and bravery in the face of what for many would have been a devasting experience.  It is a great example of the old saying that “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”  I think this story fits in well with the title of my blog site which is “Aging Capriciously.”  Aging is a challenge that we may all face.  We may never win but we do not need to go gently into the night either.

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I was put on a performance-improvement plan, so I chose to retire at 58.  Sometimes I wish I wasn’t a young retiree.  —- Essay by Jackie Fishman, Apr 19, 2024

After working for nine years as a communications specialist for a healthcare association, I was put on a performance-improvement plan during my 10th annual job review.

“Has my performance changed so much from my last exemplary review?” I asked, knowing that my previous review had been conducted by a former boss who was no longer at the company.

As a result of the PIP, I was sent to human resources to fill out paperwork outlining how my boss would closely supervise my work.  I had three months to improve.

As a 58-year-old, I worried about what this would mean for my career, but it became an opportunity for me to retire early.

I walked away from the job I had held for nearly a decade

I signed all the paperwork with HR and went back to my boss. I wanted to ensure she understood what was happening and get additional guidance on avoiding termination.  I started to get nervous.

After an uncomfortable meeting with human resources the following day, I left the company voluntarily.  I didn’t want to stick around to see how this situation worked out because I already had enough information to know my days there were numbered.

Leaving my job with no plan was unsettling.  My normal approach would not be so rash; I prefer to have a plan and know my next steps.  I was especially worried about my financial situation.

I had several interviews, but I felt forced to retire

Shortly after I left my old job, I worked part-time for a vendor I had previously done business with.  I eventually started applying for full-time positions and going to interviews.  Many of these interviews went well but somehow never resulted in an offer.  I wondered if it was because I was close to retirement age.

I could’ve continued working for the vendor, but the money was not worth the effort or the long commute.  Meanwhile, my personal life was getting complicated.  My daughter wanted help planning her upcoming wedding, my mother needed more oversight as she approached 90, and I craved more freedom to travel.

So, I decided to retire — in my 50s.

Being a young retiree has its pros and cons

I’m younger than most retirees by almost a decade — which is a blessing and a curse.

I decided to keep freelance writing.  I also started writing a longer project about my father’s teenage experiences as a Holocaust survivor, so having more time was welcome.  In addition, I began volunteering as a docent at the Newseum, which brought me a lot of satisfaction.

Plus, being young enough to go on some adventurous journeys is a nice perk: I enjoyed going on safari and on bike trips to California’s wine country.  It was also nice to have extra time to help plan my daughter’s and son’s weddings and be involved in all the pre-wedding activities.  Having time to do what you want is a definite benefit of retiring young.

Sometimes, though, I wish I wasn’t.

I can’t help but feel I still have a few more years left of full-time work in me, so I sometimes regret retiring so young.  I was cut off early from building up Social Security for a few more years, so from a financial perspective, I feel like retiring early has been detrimental.

I’m also worried I will quickly lose my grip on technological advancements.  I kept up with those advances through work, but as a retiree, I’m worried I’ll fall behind.

Either way, I wonder if my age played a role in all of this

In the end, it all worked out, but I do wonder if my age is what caused all of this.

I won’t ever know for sure if I was put on a PIP because of my age, nor will I know if I struggled to find a new job for the same reason.  But I now stand by my decision to retire and start a new phase.  After all, I was given the opportunity to reinvent myself and try new things.

Retirement is a time of rediscovery and transformation, and exploiting that opportunity is the best way to win the game of life.

Ms. Fishman is a writer, story teller, & Emee, Jewish & child of Holocaust survivors: She can be reached on Twitter at @jackiefishman or for more of her great stories at https://jackiefishman.substack.com

Here is a link to Ms. Fishman’s Web Page Portfolio. Some very interesting things to see and learn about there.

https://mediabistro.com/freelance-connect/profiles/jackiefishman/