What rules govern how you feel about time?

I love a rainy day. I don’t need to justify that “April showers bring May flowers.” While many people moan and groan about rainy cold drizzly days, I actually revel in them. Something in me feels peace and tranquility on a rainy day. For years, I simply accepted that I enjoy the “dreary” days that put most people off. My friends and spouse think me crazy because I will greet the rainy days of spring and fall with the same alacrity that they greet the sunny warm days of summer. Something in my nature loves the way that time moves on a damp rainy day. Whether it is simply drizzling or a full blown thunderstorm, there is something on those days that my soul resonates with.

After years of feeling out of sync with other people, I decided to try and figure our why I feel such affinity for a rainy day. The explanation I came up with had to do with my father’s rules about how I could spend my time. On “nice”days, I was supposed to go outside and play. On “bad” days, I could stay inside and do whatever I wanted to or nothing at all. I could hear my father saying to me “get your butt outside, it’s too nice to stay inside.” I found this insight rewarding since I could now understand a childhood rule that governed how I spent my time and indirectly what I could do and not do. Rainy days were “bad” days, so I got to spend my time doing what I wanted to do. Nice days (sunny and warm) I had to go out and do chores and go out and “be busy.” On rainy days I could curl up inside and read a good book and not have to do anything or go anywhere. Time and rain were intimately related. I became a lover of rain because it meant freedom and all the time to spend as I wanted to spend it.

I am now free to break this rule whenever I want to. Insight conveys power. Nevertheless, I still love rainy days, but every so often, I choose to do nothing at all on a nice SUNNY day. I chose to reverse my father’s rule. Understanding our hidden rules about time can be a liberating experience. Do you know what your hidden rules are about time? What messages do you tell yourself about how, when and where you can spend your time? Where did you get these messages? What messages that you received have kept you from doing things you would like to do? Are you free to break your rules now when you want to? What would help free you from rules that don’t add any value or meaning to your life?

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