Aging Capriciously

What happens when everything you believe in is shattered?  To mourn something means to regret its loss or disappearance.  What happens if your ability to mourn is overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of the destruction impacting those people or things or ideas that you love?  Does our ability to face life with a positive attitude disappear in the wind?  Are we less able to effect a happy demeanor as we face each new day?  How do we cope when the world around us seems to no longer support anything that we trust in?

I am probably selfish when I ask these questions.  I am still healthy, can pay my bills and have a wonderful spouse.  But after reading the news this morning about still another Supreme Court victory for trump, I felt an overwhelming sense of depression and futility extend over my life.  Karen noticed my attitude and asked if anything was wrong.  I said yes and told her what I had read.  What can I do about it?  How do I help stop a juggernaut that now seems to be tearing our world apart?  I thought it could not get any worse than Covid and Climate Change and now I am trying to cope with a country that I do not recognize.  We have elected a government that seems to support evil, vengeance and extreme injustice.

I know that there are many people who feel the same way that I do.  I try to coach and counsel them with bromides about resistance and the power of one person to make a difference.  But then I look at the futility of my own efforts.  I march.  I write.  I speak out.  Things keep getting worse.  When will the arc of justice bend back towards love and mercy and compassion?  I am old enough now to think that I will see my life ebb away before this country returns to anything that I once believed it stood for.  Every institution in the country seems corrupted by greed or power or some type of anti-human ideology.  We are the greatest.  We are exceptional.  We can do whatever we want to do because we have bigger and more bombs than anyone else.

Perhaps I am just venting here and will rise like the Phoenix tomorrow.  Born again with hope and optimism.  But what if I cannot?  What if there is nothing left to mourn?  What if all my ideals and hopes for a better world are now simply a chimera?  A phantom that only exists in fairy tales and stories told by naïve writers.  Does the world really march towards progress and less iniquity or have we all been sold a childish narrative.  A story of good and evil where the good always wins over the evil.

Lately I find myself watching many of the reruns of old cowboy stories from the fifties and sixties on YouTube.  I watch them because I can’t read or find any good news in books or the media.  In these old cowboy stories, the good guys always win.  My biggest bit of joy these days is watching a person on the side of justice overcome the evil doers who would thwart the rationale rules of law and order.  In the old cowboy stories, the rule of law is always supported by the end of the story.

I have never shunned history or ever idealized the past.  I am too familiar with the barbarism of all the older and ancient empires in history.  The cliche that “Power Corrupts and Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely” is as true as any of the laws of Physics.  History is a chronology of the powerful taking the rights away from the less powerful.  There has never been and perhaps never will be a humanistic empire.  Every empire that has ever existed has been an entity that has attacked, destroyed, stolen and devoured what belonged to others less powerful.  OSHO thought that humans would always be destructive since war provided a release from the boredom of everyday life.

If you think that wars have become any less violent or barbaric you need to only review your history books.  Modern wars since 1900 have killed more people than most of the ancient wars by the Assyrians, Babylonians, Egyptians, Romans, Huns, or Mongols.  The Spanish, French, British, German and Russian empires were just as brutal as any of the ancient empires.  That leaves the American empire.  The land of the free and the home of the brave.  A country that was fought and died for by patriots.  Patriots that killed millions of indigenous people and tens of millions of Africans shipped over to work in the fields and help build this country on their whipped backs.

The Great Dying:  Some sources suggest that colonization led to the death of around 56 million people, or about 90% of the indigenous population in the Americas between 1492 and 1600, leading to a period termed the “Great Dying”.  Thousands more were killed during the expansion of the US empire and what have been called the “Indian Wars.”  — Wikipedia

The Slave Trade:  During the Transatlantic Slave Trade, approximately 1.8 million Africans are estimated to have died during the Middle Passage, the horrific journey across the Atlantic Ocean.  This represents about 10-15% of the estimated 12.5 million Africans forcibly transported across the Atlantic between 1500 and 1866.

However, it’s important to understand this is just the mortality on the ships. The total number of deaths associated with the slave trade is much higher, including those who died during:

• The initial capture and forced march to the coast.
• Confinement in coastal barracoons awaiting shipment.
• The “seasoning” process upon arrival in the Americas, where they adjusted to a new climate, brutal work routines, and harsh living conditions.
• Resistance, mutiny, suicide attempts, and forced starvation during the voyage.

For every 100 enslaved people who survived the Middle Passage, another 40 died in Africa or during the voyage itself.  The Equal Justice Initiative reports that nearly two million Africans died during the Middle Passage, nearly one million more than all Americans who have died in every war fought since 1775 combined.  —- Digital History

It is not easy assimilating the truths about the American empire.  An empire that was and is about as bloody as any empire in history.  That is why the “truthtellers” want to eliminate concepts like Critical Race Theory and Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Training.  It is shameful and embarrassing to have to face the truth about a nation billed as the Shining City on the Hill.  Most of us who grew up in this country with any knowledge of history knew many of the facts concerning the American myth of Truth, Justice and Equality.  However, we held onto the idealism that underpinned the founding of this country.

We believed that someday the checks that Martin Luther King said were marked “Insufficient Funds” would be redeemed for their declared value.  We believed that we would move to a society where equality of income and opportunity would become a reality for all citizens.  We believed in the words inscribed inside the Statue of Liberty that we would provide a haven for all people looking for a better life regardless of where they were from.  We believed that democracy would be exported to other countries rather than a rapacious greedy system of corporate capitalism.  We believed that people would want to imitate our country because they would see firsthand a country that practiced the ideals that all people in their hearts cherish.

We never thought that we would see a country where greed had replaced morality and personal virtue as guiding principles.