Aging Capriciously

Borrowed time – We have all heard the expression “you are living on borrowed time.” Of course, this means to go on living after the time you should have died. The phrase goes back to the seventeenth century (see http://www.phrases.org.uk). My sister was given several weeks to live after being diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer. She went on to live five more years and even survived one round of hospice care to live a few more years after that. She just did not want to die. She lived many happy if not healthy years on borrowed time. I wondered who she paid this time back to and who she actually borrowed it from.

I think if you live life like there will be no tomorrows you are living on borrowed time. We all know people who disproportionately flaunt the risks of life. People who drink and drive are living on borrowed time. People who ride motorcycles without wearing a helmet are living on borrowed time. People who do not exercise or watch their weight are living on borrowed time. People who smoke are living on borrowed time. Each day you cheat death, is a day you owe to someone.

Are you one of the people living on borrowed time? What is the cost you pay for living on borrowed time? Who do you borrow this time from? Who do you pay it back to? When do you think they will come to collect? I think you borrow it from those who love and care for you.

The oldest person in the world! This is a title that takes years to earn and once you earn it, you probably will not hold it very long. Last week, the oldest person in the world was 114-year-old Yone Minagawa from Japan. Sadly, by the time this blog is posted, there will probably be another title holder. The chance to earn the “oldest living person” in the world designation is slim for most of us. However, recent studies report that the odds of living past 100 are growing. The US Department of Census projects that there could be over four million Americans reaching age 100 or more by 2050. Super Centenarians are those people who live to over 110 years of age. A study by Robin and Vaupel (2001) shows that in the world as a whole, the number of validated super-centenarians for whom adequate documentation is available is increasing. Other evidence also points to a world-wide increase in lifespan, thus making the age of 100 increasingly more likely for many of us.

Have you ever thought of what it would be like to live to 100 or more? You would have set foot in two centuries during one lifetime. You would have lived in five generations and possibly be a great great great or greater grandparent. If you had been born in the year 1900 and had lived past the year 2000, you would have lived through the horse and buggy era and now be living in the age of rockets and space travel. You would have lived in a time when there were no TV’s, cell phones, radios, computers or Internet and now be living in a time when all of these are common. What if you were born in 2000 and live to be 100? You would make it to the 22nd century. If we accept that we will make as much or more progress in the next 100 years as we have in the last, what changes do you think you would see? It is hard to imagine the same degrees of changes taking place between 2000 and 2100 as between 1900 and 2000 and yet it is inevitable. Furthermore, the changes will probably dwarf those of the past century. What do you have to do to live to 100? Studies seem to point to the following common factors among centenarians:

• Continuing to play a role in society
• Keeping in good physical shape
• Taking preventive measures against serious disease
• Looking on the bright side of life
• Being intellectually stimulated
• Believing that happiness can be achieved
• Having financial security
• Having a good life expectation
• Maintaining satisfactory social relationships

(Quality of life and longevity: a study of centenarians, Mariosa Dello Buono, Ornella Urciuou, Diego De Leo in Age and Ageing 1998; 27: 207-216)

Well, looking at this list, do you have what it takes? Will you live to 100 years of age? Do you think you might even obtain the oldest person in the world title? What would have to change in your life for you to be in the running? Which of the above factors do you need to work on? Would you like to live to 100 if you could be healthy and happy to that age?

“It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.” This is the opening sentence of A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens. He was referring to the time of the French Revolution. It is perhaps the most famous line in all of literature. Why? Not because we relate to the French Revolution, but because we can all relate to the sentiment. How many days in your life have you felt it was the best of times, but also the worst? We would probably all be rich if we had a dollar for each day or time we felt this way. Life brings us many ups and downs. Life is seldom all joy and happiness. In one day, in one hour, many of us can go from high to low. A brief moment can bring us news that will make us supremely happy or thoroughly sad. Death and destruction come at inopportune times. We can not plan them or control them. Happiness can be equally whimsical. One minute we can feel elated over some momentary triumph and the next minute we are dejected because it was not greater.

We have all had many days that were the best of times and the worst of times. Each day of our lives that we awake healthy can start out to be the best of times. By the end of some days, it has become the worst of times. We may end the day feeling totally used up and wondering if there is not more to life. The pressures and tribulations of the day have beaten our spirits down. By bedtime, we are ready for the oblivion of sleep. Happy only for a good nights rest that will help restore our mind and body, but mostly our willpower to face the next day. We hope to awake refreshed and ready to believe again that today will be the best of times and not the worst of times.

Can you get up today and face live with optimism and not defeat? Do you get up each day and look forward to the challenges that the day will bring? Have you been able to grow older but remain optimistic about life? Do you fully expect that there will be much pain but also great happiness in your life? Is today the best of times or the worst of times for you?

Poems on time or about time have probably been written since recorded history. If you enjoy poetry, the website: http://www.poemhunter.com has many good poems on a wide array of subjects including time. Poetry is a way of saying things very concisely but elegantly. Poetry is somewhat like calligraphy in its flowing beauty. Poets use fewer words than authors and express thoughts very succinctly but with great depth and emotion. The subject of time lends itself to poetry very well since time affects us in so many ways and concerns the past, present and future. Poetry has an inherent sense of rhythm which is a key element of time. There is hardly a subject that deals with so much of life as time and poets love subjects that are full of life and death.

I have used several poems in this book. I am not a good poet myself and have only written a few in my life. One I wrote, I called:

Mother and Father

Mother and father were born,
A long time ago.

Mother and father got married,
A long time ago.

Mother and father nursed me and played with me,
A long time ago.

Mother and father scolded me and spanked me,
A long time ago.

Mother and father stayed up all night and worried about me,
A long time ago.

Mother and father came to visit me,
A long time ago.

Mother and father died,
A long time ago.

Can you write a poem on time? Of course you can. Have you ever tried? Why not? Perhaps you and I will never be rich or famous poets, but there is a feeling of release that comes from writing poetry. Every one of us has a poem, a story and a song inside us just waiting to come out. Today is your day to be a poet. Sit down and write a short stanza or sonnet or haiku or even an entire poem. Write about life, death, family, friends, birth, weddings, nature, politics or whatever is on your mind.

Think about all of the poetry that you read on Hallmark cards. You can write as good as some of this poetry and they get paid for it. Will you do this poem for me? If you write it on Time, I would love to see it. Send it to my email address at persico.john@comcast.net. How does it feel to be a poet or poetess?

Are you familiar with the phrase “real time?” If I say it is happening in real time, what does that mean to you? Does that mean it’s not happening in “fake” time? If there is real time, then there must be fake time. However, no one ever uses the phrase “fake time.” Well, what is real time? According to most definitions, real time is happening now, not later, yesterday or tomorrow. It is happening in the present.

The term real time derives from its use in early simulation. While current usage implies that a computation that is ‘fast enough’ is real time, originally it referred to a simulation that proceeded at a rate that matched that of the real process it was simulating. Analog computers, especially, were often capable of simulating much faster than real time, a situation that could be just as dangerous as a slow simulation if it were not also recognized and accounted for. (Wikipedia.com)

So why don’t we just call it present time? The catch is that some things that can happen in real time can also happen at some other time pace. For now, let’s call the other time “fake” time. In fake time, something that will happen in twenty-four hours in real time can be compressed to 1 hour or even 1 minute in fake time. Game simulations often take place over years but play out on computers in minutes or hours.

Now what if we applied both these terms to “real” life? We shall speak of real time and fake time. Real time would mean that I was working, thinking, playing at a pace that matched that of the real world. Fake time would mean I was daydreaming, goofing off, being unproductive, zoning out, watching TV, on drugs or otherwise getting out of the present reality. Many people spend a great deal of their lives in fake time and avoiding real time. In real time, I must face the real world. In fake time, I only have to deal with a pretend world. In fake time, I travel to Hollywood with the stars. I participate in “reality shows.” I cheer for the Survivors and I live vicariously with the next Hollywood Idol. I can pretend I am Tiger Woods, Lance Armstrong, Angelina Jolie, or Sarah Jessica Parker. In fake time, I can even make my very own video and post it on YouTube or MySpace and hope that someday I will be viewed and worshipped by the multitudes. To paraphrase Andy Warhol, “In fake time, everyone can have their 15 minutes of fame and glory.” However, Andy was pre-computers. He did not foresee that in today’s computer world, everyone can have hours and hours of fake time. Fake time is only limited by the amount of time you want to put into escaping real time. You can spend hours or days in fake time and only come out to eat and sleep.

What do you do with your real time? How much real time do you use in a day? How much of your day do you spend in fake time? Which time do you enjoy more? Why? Do you think you need a better balance in your life? Should you have more real time or fake time? What difference do you think it would make?

Closing Time – “Could you please tell me what your closing time is?” “It is closing time, would everyone please move to the front of the store.” “Oh my God, it’s almost closing time and I have not met anyone to go home with.” “Well, its closing time soon and I will be able to quit work.” Who is not familiar with the idea of closing time? Before 24/7, we had 7/11 stores. We thought that they were really something because they opened at 7 AM and closed at 11 PM. When once most businesses closed on Sundays and Holidays, today even Christmas and New Years are not observed by many stores. It’s common to find businesses, gas stations and shops that stay open all day, all night, every day. Of course, we still have zones and restrictions concerning closing times for some establishments and times beyond which it is illegal to sell certain products. In some states, you can sell alcohol on Sunday and in others you may not. The closing times for bars vary from state to state as does their opening times. It is interesting that we have not gone 24/7 for everything.

Behind this trend towards more liberal opening and closing times is a combination of social, legal and technological forces. Socially we are becoming more diverse and we show less inclination to honor holidays associated with any one religion. Technologically, we have the means to schedule and staff more hours than ever before. Computers and the Internet have opened up many retail opportunities for the enterprising entrepreneur who does recognize time barriers. Legally, politicians have seen no compelling reasons to block people from shopping or working whenever they want to. In a consumer driven economy, more shopping and more spending creates a stronger economy and more profits. Today we have telecommuting as well as teleshopping. If I decide to work at home, why should my starting and closing time be dictated by traditional rules of work? I can start later and “close shop” at 3 AM in the morning or whenever I stop being productive.

Some day, the concept of closing time may be an anachronism. It will be a relic of past times when people were bound to regular time clocks and cars. In the future, there may never be any closing times. Would you rather a 9 to 5 world or a 24/7 world? Why? What benefits do you get from each? Could we combine the best of both? Are there some days or times when everything should be closed? Should we have a day of rest from capitalism and consumerism?

There are many metaphors that involve time: “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.” (John 2-12-22) “God created the world in six days and rested on the seventh.” (Genesis 1-2). A metaphor gives us an alternative picture of reality. Some metaphors can be taken quite literally, others are more symbolic. Since we cannot feel, taste, see or touch time, most time metaphors have to be symbolic. However, we can measure time, and that fact makes some symbolic interpretations of time very problematic. Could Jesus Christ really have destroyed the temple and rebuilt it again in three days? Did God really create the world in only seven days?

Here is a good explanation of the relationship between symbols and metaphors from the website of Dr. Rick Singleton, a professor at Southern Virginia University:

“One of the most recognizable objects from J.R.R Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings is the One Ring. It is the object that controls the other ring wielders, yet it is also the only one that has that power and will of its own. The One Ring symbolizes power, dominance, corruption, and evil. When we take the phrase “One ring to rule them all,” it then becomes a metaphor. Because the One ring is the subject and the object of the phrase, but it’s A is B relationship is simple to understand once we know the idea behind the ring and the phrase behind the metaphor.” http://www.hatrack.com/svu/tolkien_lewis/OSC%20Paper.html

It would be impossible to speak about time without speaking in symbols and metaphors. Each reflection in my blogs represents an abstraction that hopefully many of you reading these thoughts can relate to. I have tried to make these blogs interesting and useful by putting these abstractions on time into a different light or by creating new metaphors for some of them. The power of symbols and metaphors is in helping us to see and understand the world and ourselves in a different light. However, as we become accustomed to symbols and metaphors, they lose this power because we take them for granted. We allow them to become worthless because we no longer think about them.

For instance, when you see the Statue of Liberty, do you think about all the immigrants that came over and about the fighting that went on to free us from the British? When it is the Fourth of July, do you see Thomas Jefferson and the Continental Congress debating the text of the Declaration of Independence? Many metaphors become clichés such as: “sharp as a knife”, “he was a lame duck” or they were “like two ships passing in the night.” Repeated use brings dullness to the edge of metaphors. We say them, think we understand their meaning and quickly move on. In doing so, we ignore the deeper implications of each. We miss the more profound thoughts that are hidden beneath our surface understanding. For instance, why were they like ships passing in the night? What happened to them that they lost or missed their chance for a relationship? When did they first start to pass each other? What could they have done differently to not miss each other in the dark night?

My hope is that these many metaphors, symbols and concepts about time will help you to think about the world and your life differently. To see a different picture of those things that you may take for granted about time. Did God really make the world in seven days? Does it matter? What do you think?

Is it your time to go or the pilots time to go? I had an aunt who refused to fly anywhere no matter the circumstances or situation. I was young and naïve and tried reasoning with her. I told her about the airline safety facts and how airlines per mile traveled were much safer than automobiles. None of my rational persuasion had any influence. Finally, I resorted to an irrational or emotional argument. I said “well, if it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go.” Without batting an eyelash, she replied “yeah, but what if it’s the pilots time to go.” Stumped by this counter-intuitive logic, I gave up. Was this a battle between fatalism and realism or between rationalism and irrationalism? Was my aunt the fatalist or was she the realist? Was she rationale or irrational? Can you prevent your death by playing it safe or is your death already in the cards?

In the story “Appointment in Samarra”, a sheik finds out that Death is looking for him in the marketplace. He grabs a horse and rides quickly away to another town called Samarra, only to meet Death there. Somewhat surprised, the sheik asks Death what he is doing there and receives the reply that “I had an appointment to meet you here today.”

Can we escape fate or are our fates already decided? Would it make a difference in how you lived your life if you knew the answer to this question? Would you take more chances or less? Would you ride a motorcycle, skydive, scuba dive or climb mountains? Do you act like you could die tomorrow or do you act like you will live forever? How many risks do you take in your life? Do you think you are a fatalist or a realist? Are you trying to escape your “appointment in Samarra”? Or are you ignoring your appointment?

Dinner time – “The word “dinner” comes from the French word dîner, the “chief repast of the day”, (Wikipedia). It is a time for family and bonding in some homes. In others, it is simply a time of eating. Dinner time in many cultures is associated with ceremony and a degree of formality. There once was a time in the U.S when people dressed up to come to dinner on a regular basis. Traditionally, the head of the household said a blessing and then dinner was served. Increasingly, in our strapped and harried culture, dinner time has become a time simply to grab a quick microwave meal and catch the latest sports event on TV. The time for socializing and sharing the day’s experiences has been traded for time in front of the TV watching the news. Mom’s homemade cooking has been traded for Mrs. Field cookies and Papa John’s Pizza. Dinner is simply a time to stock up on high fat, high calorie pre-processed foods. Witness the current obesity in American society.

You can yearn for the past, but the past is not always as we remember it. Dinner time in some historic periods has been a time of fasting and even deprivation. There simply was not enough food to go around and many would go hungry. A blessing would have been said to simply help find food and to survive until food could be found. Today there are still places in the world where people do not have enough to eat. The following facts are from the site: “Bread for the World” ( http://www.bread.org )

• 854 million people across the world are hungry, up from 852 million a year
ago.
• Every day, almost 16,000 children die from hunger-related causes–one child
every five seconds.

In essence, hunger is the most extreme form of poverty, where individuals or families cannot afford to meet their most basic need for food. The figures above come from studies done by Global organizations working to reduce poverty. Perhaps in twenty years or so we will have made a larger dent in these figures. Perhaps we will not, if the world has to keep struggling with war and terrorism, if we do not see the urgency or we do not make it a global priority to help reduce poverty. The value of sitting together at a well stocked dinner table gets trumped by the value of security and freedom from oppression. Have you ever wondered why we cannot have both? How do we bring this choice upon ourselves in the first place? Are war and poverty inevitable? Have we accepted that they are beyond our control? Is it simply our nature as human beings to have to suffer? Would we really want a world that was like the Garden of Eden? Or would we soon become bored and start throwing apples at each other?

Have you ever sat down at dinner and not had enough to eat? Have you ever passed the plate so someone else could eat and you could not? Have you ever passed the plate to help others in the world to eat? Is dinner time a time of joy for you or a time of strife? What would help to make it more joyful? Would more food help? Would more socializing and talking to each other help? Would doing more to help those who have no food help?

Do you measure journey time or measure destination time? I have a patch on one of my jeans which says “It’s not the destination, it’s the journey.” How often in life do we get so wound up with what we are going to do, or where we want to go that we forget the joy in the journey. Our destination, our goals become so overpowering that we forget the process, we forget to live each day. We live in the future and never enjoy the minutes which are happening one at a time. We become so consumed with our purpose or goals that we ignore the flowers and birds that surround us. We forget to smell the roses. The famous atheist and socialist Emma Goldman said “If I can’t dance, I don’t want to be in your revolution.” We take ourselves and our lives too serious. How often have you known someone who upon experiencing their first heart attack and surviving it suddenly decided to reprioritize what was important in their life? This wakeup call for mortality helped them to realize that they were missing out on what life is meant to be. Why take a trip if you cannot enjoy the journey?

Every so often when I was growing up, my father would take us on a trip. It was usually to visit my grandparents in Alabama. I hated those trips. My father would drive like a maniac, watching the clock every minute to see how he could cut minutes or seconds off the trip. He was obsessed with how fast he could get there. Sometimes we would sleep in the car through the night. We would often pass restrooms because he would not waste time stopping. When he finally got around to it, we would pee at the side of the road. There was no stopping for road side rests. No stopping for any sights or marvels that the world might put up for display. My father’s sole and unremitting quest was to see how fast he could get us from NY to Alabama.

These trips were hated by me, my mother and my siblings. They were never fun nor do I remember one minute of pleasure on any of these trips. It was not until I was 13 that I had a good trip down south. My mother decided to take a train with my two sisters and leave early and my father and I were going to go with my Uncle Paul and his father (Pop Hofer). My uncle was not going to let my father spoil a perfectly good trip by ignoring the sites along the way. For the first time in any of these trips, we stopped. We stopped in Washington D.C. to see the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial. We stopped at Luray Caverns and visited the underground caves. We stopped at Ruby Falls to see the underground waterfall. We stopped at Lookout Mountain and rode the train up and down. We stopped to eat along the way. We stopped at a motel and stayed the night. I will never forget this trip or my uncle for helping me to find a life along the way. I learned then that the journey can be as important as the destination.

What if you get there and you hate it? What if you have not learned to enjoy life along the way? What if you never get there? What about the people who had a first heat attack and it was their last? Do you stop to smell the roses? Do you stop to pick raspberries? Is your life so busy that you don’t enjoy the journey? Do you have to have a “heart attack” to teach you to enjoy the journey?