Every year since Karen and I were married we have put up a Christmas Tree. Putting up a tree was once something I hated almost as much as I hated the entire Christmas event. I would be more than happy to forget that Christmas ever existed. I made my first wife miserable with my incessant complaints about Christmas and made a promise to myself not to let my hatred of Christmas get in the way of Karen’s love for the holiday. So very dutifully I unload the tree and boxes of ornaments, put on some Christmas songs, and help Karen decorate our tree.
Yesterday, we went to a friends open house to view her decorations. She has absolutely the most gorgeous holiday decorations I have ever seen. It takes her months to decorate most of the rooms in her home and I truly marvel at her energy and the organizational skills it would take to put all her decorations up, take them down, store them and then find them again the following year. In one room, she had a very large beautifully decorated Christmas tree. You would not find a lovelier tree in either Macy’s or Gimbels 😊.
After returning home, I sat down in our living room a few feet from our own tree. I asked Karen what she thought of our friends tree, and she remarked how gorgeous it was. In comparison, I thought our tree looked a little more puny and nowhere near as stylish. I replied to Karen, “Yes, her tree was prettier than ours, but I like ours better.” Karen agreed. I then thought, if her tree was more beautiful, then why would I prefer ours? I wondered if I was just being defensive. I asked myself this question and I realized it was not defensiveness. Our tree would not turn any designers heads but for me the beauty was in all the memories that were on our tree. Almost every ornament has some memory attached. I told Karen, “Think of all the memories we have on our tree. I am going to write a blog about it.”
My blog strategy was to pick out several ornaments from among the hundreds on our tree and to share with you some of our memories in terms of what they mean to us. Since the memories are both Karen’s and mine, I asked Karen to help pick some decorations that were special to her and to share her memories of them. Karen inherited a few of the decorations from her parents and some she acquired before we were married. Several of the decorations actually go back to before either Karen or I were born. I will include pictures of our tree and each ornament as we both take turns describing our memories. The ornaments selected are simply in random order.
I bought this ornament after my first wife and I were divorced. It is the first ornament I ever remember buying. Not sure what drew me to it, but I really loved it. Maybe it was the woman that I wanted to marry. After Karen and I were married, we hung it on the tree that we put up on our first Christmas living together.
I have an adopted Korean daughter, Susan. I bought this at a summer Korean camp. Susan went to Korean day camp as a child, but later began teaching at Korean day camp while her sons attended camp. The little bear is wearing the traditional Korean female dress called called the Hanbok. It is a distinctive clothing item that is unique to Korea. I wanted Susan to have knowledge of her birth country, and eventually she found her birth mom, visits Korea and keeps in regular contact with her.
I spent my high school years in Johnston, RI. If you have ever been to Rhode Island, you will know the significance of this cup. Dunkin Donuts permitted generations of young Italians like me to start “dunkin” their donuts. My sister lives in Rhode Island and a highlight of our visits there used to be a trip to a Dunkin Donuts store. From a small local chain, they are now a national chain. I never really thought their coffee was that good. Karen likes expresso coffee and Dunkin Donuts was not known for their expresso.
In 2020, after our Russia trip was cancelled due to Covid restrictions, we replanned a trip to Spain. We went to Spain in 2021 and stayed just outside Barcelona in a town called Cervello. Barcelona is one of the most beautiful cities we have ever visited. Perhaps the most extraordinary building in the city is the La Sagrada Familia. It was designed and built by the architect Antoni Gaudí. This ornament is a design by Gaudi that shall always remind us of the La Sagrada Familia.
My daughter Megan loved the nutcracker ballet. John and I started taking her to the performances as a Christmas outing event whenever we could. Seeing this little girl from the Nutcracker always reminds me of Megan. She has since left Arizona to return to her roots in Minnesota. We will all get to another Nutcracker Ballet again some day.
John and I seem to have an affinity for all things Asian. We have been to China, Taiwan, Japan and Korea together. We particularly love Asian food. Minnesota opened its heart and doors to many Vietnamese and Hmong refugees after the Vietnam war was over. They have become a part of the Minnesota culture and contribute to it in many ways. This decoration was purchased at a Hmong craft festival in St. Paul and was hand made and sewn by a Hmong woman.
This little ornament was purchased when we bought our 26 foot Aspen Trail about five years ago. For many years Karen had wanted to start doing our snow birding in an RV rather than by car. I finally gave in and we purchased a 2018 Aspen Trail pull-behind trailer. Karen spent months redecorating the interior and making it into a real home. It was a labor of love for her. For five years she enjoyed the trailer and its many conveniences. This all came to an almost screeching halt a few months ago when we were returning from Wisconsin to Arizona. We had a freak accident that ended up in our RV being declared a total loss by our insurance company. We were glad to walk away with our lives. We were both sad over the loss, especially Karen. Nevertheless, we decided to put our RV days behind us just as we once did with our motorcycle days.
This ornament represents my oldest daughter Juli and her love for ice skating. From an early age she wanted to be a figure skater and we started her with lessons with Oberhamer skates at age 3. We were at skating lessons year round until just before her 7th birthday when she was diagnosed with leukemia. That was the end of the lessons. The next five years were filled with doctor visits for chemo and radiation therapy. After her induction therapy she remained in remission, but the years had taken their toll on Juli’s dreams of becoming a figure skater. Skating was still a part of our family with her younger brother and sisters taking lessons, and Kevin participating in speed skating.
Karen and I love the ocean and swimming. Based on the recommendation of a friend back in 1992, we booked a week long tour of the U.S. Caribbean on a 192 foot Tall Ship called the Sir Francis Drake. 20 crew members and thirty passengers. We stopped in many ports that the bigger cruise ships could not enter. We swam off the ship to the beach where we would collect shells and have lunch. It was a wonderful week of sun, sand and surf. We always talked about doing it again. Unfortunately, in late October of 1998, Hurricane Mitch hit Honduras. The Sir Francis Drake and her sister ship were moored in the harbor. The next morning after the storm swept through, both ships were gone. It is assumed that they were swept out to sea and sunk. Our ornament is all that remains of the Sir Francis Drake. That and our memories.
Do you know what this is? It is a Mountain Dulcimer. While we were on a motorcycle trip to Mountain View Arkansas, I saw it being played on what locals called the “Pickin Green.” I was fascinated by the instrument that was played on your lap with hands in a piano type position. I have always loved to play the piano but it is hard to take a piano on a trip. I thought that a Dulcimer would be easy to pack and I hoped it would not be too difficult to learn to play. That was about 14 years ago and now I give lessons to beginner Dulcimer players. I play with a group called the Tucson Dulcimer Ensemble. There are about 15 members of the group. We play at the request of music and activity directors for churches, nursing homes, assisted living centers and other venues. We once played at a Red Hat get together and also at a Bahai celebration. We do not take money for our performances and we do it for the love of playing and to share the joy of music with others. John is my roadie and helps to carry all the equipment that I have acquired over the years.
Our daughter Susan gave us this ornament. It does not need much explanation. We weathered the storm and if you are reading this, then you survived as well. One funny or at least it seems funny thought is the fact that we had all our shots, boosters etc., quarantined as much as possible, and never argued about wearing our masks. This year we received our 3rd booster shot as well as a flu shot. We thought that we had dodged the dreaded Covid Virus bullet. Alas, it was not to be so. Both of us came down with very mild Covid symptoms and subsequently flu symptoms as well. The Covid went away rapidly but the flu symptoms lingered on for weeks.
I don’t remember where this ornament came from. I seem to remember it being a gift from a member of the children’s choir at our church where I was the accompanist for several years. It brings back memories of nursing school at the University of Minnesota, working at hospitals and for many years as a home care nurse and manager. I knew I didn’t have enough musical talent to make a living in music. I didn’t want to teach as my mother had done, but I was intrigued by nursing from age 12. I paid my way through college and became a nurse. It was a good career and it has provided many memorable experiences. I would not want to have missed the life that I had in nursing for over fifty years.
The hat with the ear flaps is in honor of my dad Ted who had one similar to this one. I had great parents, but as an only child, I was often lonely. Being an only child taught me to entertain myself, but my most cherished time was when I could do something with my father. He was playful and had a good sense of humor and was my favorite playmate. As I matured, and eventually had my own children, he was always supportive. When my first child Juli was starting to talk, we tried to teach her to say Grandpa, but it came out “Bacca”. So he became Bacca and loved it. My kids all called him Bacca along with their cousins and friends. When making plans with playmates, they would often ask, “Is Bacca going to be there?”
John Here: I will add my two cents as well. Karen’s dad was one of the kindest, nicest men I have ever met. He would go out of his way to do anything to help you. I always enjoyed visiting and traveling with him. I only wish I had met him earlier in my life or perhaps later when I had more time to spend with him.
You will notice that there are two motorcycle ornaments above. When we started riding together in 1989, Karen took to the cruiser style of motorcycle (on the left with Betty Boop). Later on she migrated to more sport tourers and eventually owned an FJR 1300, a Pacific Coast and a Kawasaki Versys 650. I migrated from a Yamaha Virago to all out sports racers. My last bike was a Yamaha R1. It had a 998cc, liquid-cooled inline 4 cylinder DOHC engine with four valves per cylinder. It made 198 hp with 83 pound-feet of torque. It would go about 180 top end and zero to sixty in 2.6 seconds. There were few cars on the road or even other bikes that I could not go by like they were standing still. I loved the feeling of power and speed this style of bike gave me. Many people called them “crotch rockets”, a term that I was scornful of. Alas, old age and sanity finally creeped in and both Karen and I reluctantly sold the last two bikes we owned.
This is a White Bear Lake Bear. After Karen and I were married, I moved into the house with her that she had purchased with her first husband. The address was 3671 Sun Terrace, White Bear Lake, MN: 55110. It was a great house and over the years we made several improvements. The neighbors were all nice people and everyone in the neighborhood got along very well. WBL had a wonderfully scenic downtown area and many places to bike and run in. When we sold the house and moved to Wisconsin in 2010, it was to escape the traffic and congestion which as in most large US cities was getting worse and worse. I will always remember WBL very fondly.
Well, that’s all folks. Probably another 100 or so ornaments each with their own story. Will get to the rest next holiday season or maybe the year after, “God Willing and the Creek Does Not Rise.”
Have a Happy Holiday Season,
John and Karen
I saw another shadow ahead. The shadow became more defined as I came closer, and I realized that it was my father. He was standing there shaking his head. He started yelling at me. “You can’t do anything right. You fuck everything up. Leave it alone, I will do it myself.” I stopped to tell him that I was sorry. I always tried but it was never good enough. He just shook his head. The light moved on again and I followed it down the path.
Soon, I could make out two more figures on the path as I approached their shadows. One was my former wife, Julia. She was sitting on a rock with my daughter Christina. Christy was seven or eight and they were both crying. I remember the scene well. I had taken a picture of them both that day amid that dismal moment. I was oblivious to their pain and heartache. The picture is in a scrapbook that I left with Julia when we divorced. It has often haunted my thoughts. I can see the picture in my mind just as clearly as if I were holding it in my hand. I was the reason; they were both crying and trying to comfort each other. Thinking of the pictures reminds me of the bastard that I once was and how horrible I had often been to Julia and my daughter Christy.
Aging Capriciously 