My Final Will and Testament —Things That I Loved in Life —Reflection #1

08 May 2024 3 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , ,

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Last year at my 40th Demontreville Retreat, one of the exercises that we were given by the Retreat Master included a very challenging set of thoughts.  The worksheet for the activity was labeled as “A Testament.” I took the worksheet and instructions home with me.  It had fourteen tasks or reflections to complete.  I did not desire to complete them during the retreat.  It is now almost a year since my retreat, and I have decided to make the mental and emotional effort necessary to complete this “Testament.”

I am going to complete one or two reflections every other day for the next few weeks.  I would love it if you would do these tasks along with me.  If you would like to share your thoughts, that would be great, but I am not expecting anyone to do so.  I would like to know if you find any benefit in completing these activities.

The worksheet started with these instructions:

Imagine that this is the last day of your life on earth.  In the time that you have left, you want to leave a “Testament” for your family and friends.  Each of the following could serve as chapter headings for your “Testament.”

 1.These are the Things that I have loved in life.

Wow, where to start?  The effort brings tears to my eyes.  I fear that I have loved and lost too much.  In Alfred Lord Tennyson’s famous poem “In Memoriam A.H.H.” he writes:

I hold it true, whate’er befall;

I feel it when I sorrow most;

‘Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all.  —- Canto XXVII

If only I could agree with Tennyson.  My soul does cry out for remorse and forgiveness but giving it to myself seems hard to come by.  The people that loved me and cared about me that I scorned in my life are mostly shadows now of another era.  An epoch that I want to forget about.  Can we really change?  Have I really changed.  I am ashamed to list what I have loved because I was so careless and thoughtless with so much of it.  If only I believed in a God of Forgiveness, it would make this effort so much easier.

I won’t say I have ever loved a thing.  I have never loved money, cars, or possessions.  I have loved the thought of fame and fortune.  I have never completely let go of the idea that around the next corner awaits my vindication.  Fame and fortune will anoint me as the true Knight that I dreamed of being.  When I was ten years old, I wanted to be an astronaut.  I wanted to fly into space on a rocket ship years before Captain Kirk was even born (at least on TV.) I loved the idea of adventure and discovering new places, things and ideas.  But my dreams were dashed by reality.  I was too short to be an astronaut and my eyes were not good enough to be a pilot.  Biological requirements that were set by who knows and for what reasons that dashed all hope of my dreams of going to the stars.

I have loved a few people.  Similar to my relationship with God, I am an Atheist when it comes to love.  Can you really love a car?  Can you love your new house?  Love seems to me something that must be reciprocal.  Only humans can really reciprocate love.  Even pets are only capable of licking your face.   However, with humans, most of the love in the world is a misnomer for lust.  Love at first sight is the most egregious example of lust to ever exist.  I see a woman with nice legs or nice breasts, and I fall “IN LOVE.”  Another idiotic phrase that should be stricken from humanity.  Six weeks later, we are married and promise to “Love and Cherish” each other for life.  This bliss or LOVE may last for a few months or years until the lust has all but disappeared and reality has set in.

I have never ever fallen in love with anybody much less anything.  I love Karen.  I love my sister Jeanine.  I love several old friends.  Love for me has to be earned.  It has to develop over time as with the “Velveteen Rabbit”,  “It’s a thing that happens to you.  When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.” — Margery Williams

Can I child really love a stuffed toy?  The logician in me says NO.  The cynic in me says NO.  The realist in me says NO.  My heart says YES, thereby negating much of what I have probably already said about love.  Love is in one sense logical and rational.  In another sense, it is emotional, illogical, and irrational.  I still question loving your car or loving your house, but I do not question the love that some people may have for their pets or even an inanimate object.  Reason tells me that a pet stuffed rabbit can somehow personify “love” much better than my desire for a Ferrari ever could.  I still can’t imagine in what warped dimension I might live where I could fall in love with a Ferrari or even cry when it was gone.

I shall add to my list of “Loves” the following:

  • Books
  • Ideas
  • Writing
  • Music
  • Food
  • Travel
  • Adventure
  • Adversity
  • Challenges

Number 2 of 14 Reflections in this Testament exercise is as follows: 

  1. These are the experiences that I have cherished.

I am posting this as a sort of “heads up” to give you some time to think about your own experiences.  I will reflect on mine in my next blog:

Here are some of my favorite quotes on love:

  • Jesus said, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” — John 15:13
  •  “I hope it’s okay if I love you forever.” — Ally Maine, “A Star Is Born”
  •  “Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.” — Zora Neale Hurston
  •  “Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” ― Martin Luther King Jr.
  •  “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” ― Robert A. Heinlein
  •  Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle

 

 

 

How One Determined Woman Made Lemonade When Life Handed Her a Bunch of Lemons

04 May 2024 7 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

While surfing the Internet a few days ago, I came across the following story by Ms. Jackie Fishman.  I was very moved by her story.  It was certainly a story that deserved retelling.  Her story has so many uplifting themes it is hard to describe them all.  Themes of determination, themes of courage, themes of personal responsibility, themes of renewal, themes of hope and themes of resilience.  Her story also reflects some negative themes that I saw during my three years as an employment counselor.  Themes of age discrimination, themes of one-way loyalty and an overall callous labor market that uses and discards people as nothing more than commodities.

I wrote to Ms. Fishman and asked for permission to reprint her story.  The following is in Jackie’s words and has not been edited.  Again, I think it is a story of courage and bravery in the face of what for many would have been a devasting experience.  It is a great example of the old saying that “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”  I think this story fits in well with the title of my blog site which is “Aging Capriciously.”  Aging is a challenge that we may all face.  We may never win but we do not need to go gently into the night either.

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I was put on a performance-improvement plan, so I chose to retire at 58.  Sometimes I wish I wasn’t a young retiree.  —- Essay by Jackie Fishman, Apr 19, 2024

After working for nine years as a communications specialist for a healthcare association, I was put on a performance-improvement plan during my 10th annual job review.

“Has my performance changed so much from my last exemplary review?” I asked, knowing that my previous review had been conducted by a former boss who was no longer at the company.

As a result of the PIP, I was sent to human resources to fill out paperwork outlining how my boss would closely supervise my work.  I had three months to improve.

As a 58-year-old, I worried about what this would mean for my career, but it became an opportunity for me to retire early.

I walked away from the job I had held for nearly a decade

I signed all the paperwork with HR and went back to my boss. I wanted to ensure she understood what was happening and get additional guidance on avoiding termination.  I started to get nervous.

After an uncomfortable meeting with human resources the following day, I left the company voluntarily.  I didn’t want to stick around to see how this situation worked out because I already had enough information to know my days there were numbered.

Leaving my job with no plan was unsettling.  My normal approach would not be so rash; I prefer to have a plan and know my next steps.  I was especially worried about my financial situation.

I had several interviews, but I felt forced to retire

Shortly after I left my old job, I worked part-time for a vendor I had previously done business with.  I eventually started applying for full-time positions and going to interviews.  Many of these interviews went well but somehow never resulted in an offer.  I wondered if it was because I was close to retirement age.

I could’ve continued working for the vendor, but the money was not worth the effort or the long commute.  Meanwhile, my personal life was getting complicated.  My daughter wanted help planning her upcoming wedding, my mother needed more oversight as she approached 90, and I craved more freedom to travel.

So, I decided to retire — in my 50s.

Being a young retiree has its pros and cons

I’m younger than most retirees by almost a decade — which is a blessing and a curse.

I decided to keep freelance writing.  I also started writing a longer project about my father’s teenage experiences as a Holocaust survivor, so having more time was welcome.  In addition, I began volunteering as a docent at the Newseum, which brought me a lot of satisfaction.

Plus, being young enough to go on some adventurous journeys is a nice perk: I enjoyed going on safari and on bike trips to California’s wine country.  It was also nice to have extra time to help plan my daughter’s and son’s weddings and be involved in all the pre-wedding activities.  Having time to do what you want is a definite benefit of retiring young.

Sometimes, though, I wish I wasn’t.

I can’t help but feel I still have a few more years left of full-time work in me, so I sometimes regret retiring so young.  I was cut off early from building up Social Security for a few more years, so from a financial perspective, I feel like retiring early has been detrimental.

I’m also worried I will quickly lose my grip on technological advancements.  I kept up with those advances through work, but as a retiree, I’m worried I’ll fall behind.

Either way, I wonder if my age played a role in all of this

In the end, it all worked out, but I do wonder if my age is what caused all of this.

I won’t ever know for sure if I was put on a PIP because of my age, nor will I know if I struggled to find a new job for the same reason.  But I now stand by my decision to retire and start a new phase.  After all, I was given the opportunity to reinvent myself and try new things.

Retirement is a time of rediscovery and transformation, and exploiting that opportunity is the best way to win the game of life.

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Ms. Fishman is a writer, story teller, & Emee, Jewish & child of Holocaust survivors: She can be reached on Twitter at @jackiefishman or for more of her great stories at https://jackiefishman.substack.com

Here is a link to Ms. Fishman’s Web Page Portfolio. Some very interesting things to see and learn about there.

https://mediabistro.com/freelance-connect/profiles/jackiefishman/

Shocking Headlines That are Almost Not Printable !!!!!

01 May 2024 8 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , ,

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Pro-Christian Group Swarms Bible Bookstore to Destroy New King James Bibles: 

When asked why, the group’s leader answered, “Because we don’t believe in all this ‘new’ business.  We only want old bibles to be sold.  We never met King James anyway.”

Man Kills and Eats Pet Parrot:

“I killed him because he called me a ‘stupid’ Trump supporter.  Trump is not stupid.  I am going to buy another parrot that will vote for Trump.”

Students Run Wild on Campus as Protests Soar Across the USA

Students at McKinsey University were seen running to catch a bus after their graduation ceremony.  “What’s the fuss” one student said.  “Can’t we even run on campus anymore?  I swear I am not Anti-Semitic.”

Possible Alien Spacecraft Spotted Landing Near Homes in Scottsdale, AZ:

Closer investigation showed the spacecraft to be a remote-controlled toy spaceship from Mattel being operated by a five-year-old girl.  The young girl was arrested and taken away in hand cuffs despite proclaiming her innocence of any intended space invasion.

Woman Observed Performing Potentially Obscene Sex Acts in a Downtown Phoenix Park.

Witnesses say that she was doing something strange to a Barbie doll.  When approached, the woman threw the Barbie doll in a garbage pail and fled.  Officers are on the lookout for an eighty-year-old woman with a Barbie doll purse.

Biden Loses First Debate to Trump:

Four out of five Trump supporters say Trump will trash Biden in a debate.  When asked why, many replied “Because Sleepy Joe will fall asleep in the first five minutes after listening to Trump say how great he is.”  “We really do think he is great.”

Americans Leaving for Greener Pastures as Inflation Rises Again:

Many Americans are buying a new shade of weather resistant green grass for their lawns.  Rumors have it that it can be used in salads instead of lettuce.   Chefs say it makes a great Caesar salad.

Kim Kardashian Does It Again!

Kim Kardashian and several other famous celebrities were seen eating at the well-known Per Se restaurant in Manhattan.  Kim was wearing one of her naked see-through look dresses.   She reportedly was miffed that most patrons focused on checking out the menu.

Dr. John Persico Wins the Nobel Prize for Literature:

John dreamed that he won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 2025 until his wife woke him up in the middle of his acceptance speech.  “Let me sleep,” he said, “It’s not every day that I win the Nobel Prize.”

The National Enquirer was Awarded the Pulitzer Prize for Journalism and Truth Telling this Week:

The headlines of the National Enquirer contained news of its pending Pulitzer Prize.  The story was written by five of its leading writers who were subsequently fired for telling lies.  They were then rehired and given raises.

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Shocking headlines have become the norm or new normal.  The media specialize in well-rehearsed talking points that come from on-high in corporate headquarters.  “Protestors are funded by Hamas” is echoed repeatedly by high paid shills for the media who call themselves journalists.  “Antisemitism is rampant among college university professors” shriek other headline news liars.  “If we don’t stop Russia in the Ukraine they will soon be over here to invade Disney Land” is a frequent threat published by all the major news outlets.  “We need more money for defense” is a never-ending plea that benefits the military and the manufacturers of bombs and bullets.

As we attempt to ignore these absurd, threatening, and shocking headlines, the efforts of marketers to come up with new bait to hook us continues nonstop.  Each day brings more and more bizarre and misleading headlines.  We may want to opt out of the media blitz that bombards us via the TV, the radio, the internet, cellphones, emails, social media, and text messages, but it is an almost impossible task.

Someone said, “You can run but you can’t hide.”  You can run from the news, but you can’t hide from it.  From the shores of Montezuma to the hallowed hallways of the Supreme Court, the news will get you.  They want you to be depressed, unhappy, miserable, and hopeless.  But don’t worry too long.  They have the fix for your unhappiness.  The answer is in the next commercial.  Buy it now, pay later and find true joy.  Happiness is buying.  Happiness is owning.  Happiness is selling the junk that no longer makes you happy and buying new junk which will succeed where the last junk failed.

Be sure to buy a big gun.  You will need it for protection to make sure that the Democrats, communists, liberals, gays, immigrants, feminists, student protestors, Arabs, Russians, and others don’t sneak in at night and take your junk away.  Actually, just to be on the safe side, buy two big guns.

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