Aging Capriciously

Play time (1). Here we are about two thirds through the year and we are just now discussing play time. I suppose it is because I grew up with the Aesop story about the ants and the grasshopper. Most of us have heard that story but I think about it every single day. It is been etched not only into my mind but into the very fabric of my existence. “You must get your work done before you can play.” Later in life, I learned about the three boxes of life and discovered that if I was creative enough; I could integrate work, play and learning. I have tried to integrate that model in both my teaching and my consulting. Sometimes, I am successful but more often I am not. Nevertheless, I keep working on it and trying to make it a constant reality. On most days though, my mind keeps repeating the “you must get your work done first.”

Karen is very different, she can play and play and not feel guilty. When I play before I work, my guilt becomes overwhelming and feelings of some impending disaster are ever present. I suppose I think I will be left out in the cold (like the grasshopper) with nothing to eat. I once asked a group of gold-miners whom I was training what it would be like if they could integrate work, play and learning. I am not sure what I was expecting for answers but I was stunned by the following comment from one of the miners: “Well, it would be like there was no difference between Monday and Saturday.” Imagine, I could not have come up with a better description. We would not be able to tell the difference between the days of the week, because they would no longer have the same meaning to us. Life would be like Saturday all the time.

What is your conception of work and play and learning? Do you think they can be integrated? Are your Saturdays different from Mondays? What would it take to integrate them in your life?

Time management is a demon. When I first started this blog, everyone wanted to know if it was going to be a blog on time management. We can all relate to this topic since it is not only popular but ever present in our minds. How I can manage my time better, what are some secrets of time management, where can I find a good course on time management? How can I be successful if I cannot manage my time! My answer was NO! NO! NO! I am not writing a blog on time management. There are a gazillion books on time management. I am sick of the subject of time management. My good friend Sam P-W once told me that time management was the ultimate oxymoron. We think we can manage everything these days. We human beings somehow think “management” is our solution to all of the world’s problems. If we could only plan, organize, lead and control better, we could solve all of the world’s problems. Of course, the secret to doing all of these things better is time management. However, is it really the secret? Why do we all have to be so super organized?

What would happen if we created a class on “time mis-management?” You could earn a certificate in time mis-management. It almost sounds like something they could put you in jail for. “You have been accused by the state of “mis-managing” your time. You are sentenced to life in prison with no chance of parole.” We take the creed of time management so seriously that we cannot even contemplate the idea of it being feasible to mis-manage time. However, if you think about it, play is the ultimate mis-management of time. When was the last time you felt that you mis-managed your time? What did you do about it? Were you compulsive, contrite or penitent? Do you beat yourself up when you mis-manage your time? Why? Whose time is it to mis-manage anyway?

Time crept by on little cat’s feet. You hardly noticed it was gone. When you have too much time you are bored, when you have too little time, you want more. Like most of what we get, we never really value it until it is gone or until someone else wants what we have. We hardly notice the passing of time, the ticking of clocks or the ringing of church bells. Time is a paradox, a riddle and a conundrum NOT rolled up into one but twisted and tangled together until we cannot tell what is the beginning, middle or end. We alternately exult time then shortly after we malign it. We define it, and then decide it does not really exist; but through it all, time remains omnipotent and omnipresent in our lives.

So how can time be so stealthy and so cat like? If we belled time (like belling the cat), would we be more aware of its influence and presence in or lives? What if we could hear it coming and hear it leaving? Would we be forever warned or would we quickly learn to ignore the sound of the bell? I suspect that we might still take it for granted. We never really value time until it is running out. We have the most precious resource in the world and we ignore it unless we suddenly realize we will not have much more of it. We all know someone who had a heart attack and suddenly started taking care of themselves or someone who smoked until they were diagnosed with cancer. As a nation, we have repeatedly delayed taking action when needed until the crisis was in our face. We can get a hurricane warning and until the winds are blowing the trees down, we stubbornly resist taking action. It seems we need a crisis to galvanize us into action. And what is more of a crisis then finding out that our time is shorter than we thought on this earth.

How aware are you of the time in your life, the changing of the minutes, the passing of the days, weeks, months, seasons or years in your life? Do you see them all passing by or do you only notice them when they are gone? What would it take to make you more aware of the time in your life, the time you spend and the time you waste? Do you need to put a bell on your time? Are you satisfied with the passing of time in your life?

Can we stretch time? We often use this expression (to stretch time) to mean that we are doing more with less time. This brings to my mind a picture of time as play dough or silly putty. I have this chunk of time which is only so big. However, I am able to tuck it, kneed it, and stretch it until I can get all of the things I need done in the time I have. How do I accomplish this miracle? Is their a coefficient for the elasticity of time? We have such figures for product demand and product supply so why not time? Coefficients measure the elasticity of demand for products and services. Some products can change very little in price and the demand drops sharply, for instance if the price of beans or broccoli goes up even a little, people will find substitute products. Products and services that respond rapidly to small changes in prices are referred to as being very elastic. Other products can undergo very large price changes and the demand falls off less so (Insulin and Alcohol are often named in this category). These products are very inelastic. It will take a large change in price before the demand falls for them.

What would an elasticity of time be like? Time that was very elastic might be leisure time, vacation time and weekend time. During these times, you can stretch your time to accomplish things that suddenly come up. Time that is very inelastic might include work time, project time or chore time. During these times, it is very difficult to put more on your plate since it is already accounted for. Thus, when we talk about stretching time, it might be wise to first see how elastic our time is. I can imagine this preventing many misunderstandings and arguments.

For instance, if I told Karen my time was very flexible and elastic this week, it would mean I could easily change our schedules to accommodate some new tasks. On the other hand, if I said it was very inelastic, she should understand that I had very little flexibility or openness to change. A concept for the Elasticity of Time could help in work load scheduling or other forms of job tasking. It would help others to understand when we were willing to take on more work or when we were not willing.

How do you stretch your time? Do you find that your time is often not very stretchable? What makes the difference for you in terms of your ability to stretch time? Are there weeks when you can do more and weeks when you do less? What do you think accounts for this difference?

The time had come. “These four words are the essence of any great decision” (Profiles in Audacity, Alan Axelrod, 2006, Sterling Publishing Co.). This book tells us of many great decisions that had to be made throughout history and of the difficulties that faced the decision maker. Harry Truman is famous for the saying “The buck stops here.” However, when does it stop? Timing is the critical component of any great decision. Too early or too late and no decision is right.

Decision makers assume great responsibility. Decision makers assume that it is better to do something than nothing. Perhaps this is not true. With more patience, could we have had less wars and death? When we act too soon, we “rush to judge” and we may act without facts or understanding. When we act too late, the window of opportunity is closed and there is great loss. I do not need to point out the Rwandan and Cambodia massacres of the twentieth centuries as examples of where we should have acted sooner. We hesitated as a world to condemn these atrocities and millions died. In business, windows of opportunity are represented by new products, new value propositions and new business models. The first adopters do not always to benefit from the “new” but seldom do the “last” reap many major rewards. Thus, the trick is to be able to tell the difference between haste and sloth. When to wait and when not to? “When to “hold them or when to fold them?”

How can we improve our decision making and the timeliness of our decisions? The answer to this question probably depends on whether you are too often hasty or whether you procrastinate too much. Do you rush to judge without facts and data; or do you hem and haw in fear of making a mistake until it is too late? How many of the major decisions in your life have turned out well? Do you regret too many of the key decisions in your life? Your answer to these questions will suggest whether you need to be bolder or less bold in your timing and decision making.

What if you suddenly found that you had only one week to live? I would not wish such news on anyone. We have explored this concept before in terms of life expectancy but let’s think about it again but with a single week in mind. Right now, how long do you think you have left to live? Hopefully, it will be a very long time. But what if you went from thinking you had twenty or more years to live and suddenly found out you had only one more week left on this earth? God forbid that should ever happen to you, but it does happen. Perhaps the possibility is one of the main reasons we all dread that annual visit to our doctor. We fear that we might hear some bad news. I recently had an MRI and a Colonoscopy within two weeks of each other. Both times, I was very anxious less I hear the dreaded news “you have cancer.” We all know someone who received this news but we don’t know how we will respond if the day comes when we hear it.

We would all trade for more time, but if you only had one week, how would you make the best of it? Even one week might be better than the sudden death that comes from an accident or other catastrophe. It is probably too late for those trips you never took or the time to spend with some friends and relatives. However, it might be enough time for some apologies and goodbyes or perhaps one last fling you always dreamed of. One week to spend. So many things you would want to do and so little time. No time to spend worrying about the life you wished you had lived. One week to conclude your business on this earth and wrap it up.

In some ways, it would be wonderful if we were all given a one week warning of our impending death. We might be able to use this last week very effectively. Would you opt for completing some things or would you choose to be more peaceful and contemplative? What are the most important things you would want to accomplish during your last week on earth? Would it be a week of doing or being?

Tree time! (I found this quote on a box of Celestial Seasoning Tea)

“I planted a tree next to the first house I owned, just a skinny runt of a tree….But when I went back there 40 years later, I couldn’t believe my eyes. The tree was towering over the house, the queen of the neighborhood. In the meantime, I’d become an old man. This was the first time, I ever really believed that the world will go on just fine when I’m gone…Ever since then, I’ve been living in tree time.”

There is no further explanation as to what is meant by “tree time” but the meaning seems pretty clear. The young man had aged and the tree had grown into its maturity. The tree would go on living long after the old man had passed away. The old man realized that life would go on long after he had died. Perhaps to the tree, nothing in the world had really changed very much.

I once remember seeing a Redwood tree that had been sliced open and a series of events had been inscribed on the various rings of the tree. You could look at most of history in the rings of a Redwood tree. Redwood trees can live up to 2000 years. A tree captures in a simple non-technological presentation (as opposed to a PowerPoint presentation) one half of the history of modern humanity on a slice of wood. It is hard to vision a simpler or more powerfully evocative depiction of history. The tree has been there and seen it all. Where human time is frantic, noisy, urgent and chaotic, tree time is solid, steadfast, peaceful and quiet. Tree time simply is without judging or reacting. While we all love flowers and the colors they manifest, can you really think of anything more beautiful or simpler than a tree?

What if we all faced life like a tree? What if we spent our time each day as “tree time?” How would our perspectives on life change if we thought and behaved in tree time rather than in human time? Would we still be as frantic and rushed? Would you still think that what you were doing was so important that nothing else mattered?

Sorry about Friday. Went to MBOTMA for the weekend. This stands for Minnesota Blue Grass and Old Time Music Association. They have a four day music fest every summer featuring some of the best blue grass and old time music bands in the country. This was our tenth year and it was the 100 anniversary of the birth of Bill Monroe whom many consider to be the father of blue grass music. Four solid days of music, workshops, dancing, family activities, camping and the best of all JAMS all over the place and all day and all night.

This year there were more young bands and more young kids then I have ever seen before. Amazing that 17 and 18 year old youngsters could play, sing and perform so well. By the way, the cost for all this including camping is 70 dollars. Probably the best bargain on the planet. I might add that there is no smoking or drinking in the performing areas, no fights and nothing is ever stolen. In fact, this year there was an announcement from the stage that someone had found a wallet on one of the trails.

So in honor of Mr. Bill Monroe, I have composed the reflection for today. This is based on one of the songs that I heard this weekend that Bill wrote and played. I loved it and of course it has to do with time. It is called “The Walls of Time.”

The “Walls of Time” is an interesting metaphor on time. The lyrics sing of a dead loved one and the promise to join her someday:

I hear a voice out in the darkness

It moans and whispers through the pines

I know it’s my sweetheart a calling

I hear her through the walls of time.

One can picture various walls and various structures that make a wall. Regardless of what you picture, walls separate us and compartmentalize us. A Wall of Time separates us as surely as a physical wall. Walls of Time separate generations and structure the entire history of the human race. Walls between generations make it difficult to communicate with the past. We have different life experiences that lead to different assumptions and even different stereotypes of the world.

Youth see the world one way and the elderly see the world another way. Those from one generation are indelibly stamped with events and happenings which color and prejudice their view of reality. A Wall of Time separates the living from the living and the dead from the living. We are all creatures of a time that will never happen again. The choices we make and even who we become are stamped by the time in which we are born. Some might even say predetermined by our time of birth.

What does it take to pass through the Wall of Time? Can it be done? Some believe that the dead can return or even continue to walk the earth. Have you ever been to a séance? Have you ever tried to communicate to a dead loved one? Many people say they have. However, none has yet proved that they can pass through the Wall of Time to communicate with anyone dead. Do you think it is possible? Can we pass through the Wall of Time to speak to the dead or the living? Can we even transcend the cultures and habits of the time period in which we are born?

Time stood still! When I was young there was a movie called “The Day the Earth Stood Still.” It was about an alien and his robot partner who came to earth. They came to warn us that we needed to stop our wars and our petty squabbles or we would be destroyed as a menace to the universe. Whenever I think of this old movie, I think of the phrase “and time stood still.” I am not quite sure of the connection anymore. However, what if time did stand still for a day?

What if for one day, all of our petty bigotry and animosities towards other people, other religions, other countries and other political persuasions would all stop. What would the world be like if one day; no one was killed, injured, raped or assaulted in any act of violence. What would the newspapers, TV’s and radios say at the end of the day? At what point in the day, do you think anyone would start to notice the difference? What would the world be like without violence for one day? Would this day be remembered as the “day TIME stood still?” Would we feel any different the next day or would we just start the violence all over again?

“I am making time today”. You have all heard this expression and no doubt used it yourself. Have you thought about what it means? Is it accurate to say we are making time? Is time like a piece of furniture, product or some baked good that we can assemble or create out of nothing? If it were, would we be able to store it or reuse it? It would be wonderful, if whenever we needed some time, we could go to our kitchen, mix some ingredients and make some time. How long do you think time would keep? Do you suppose we could refrigerate it?

Such nonsense you are thinking. Making time is not like baking a pie. Making time is different. When you make time, you put some other things aside and that’s how you make time. You forgo some other activities, opportunities or tasks. However, then you are not really making time, you are simply re-ordering time or re-prioritizing your time. It would be more accurate to say “today I am forgoing some activities so that I can” (add whatever you would rather do). I am making time to play with my children, to work on my drawing, to help my friend move, to spend some time meditating.

It is not easy to “make time.” It is very difficult to re-order our schedules and to put aside some of the things we must do and make room for new things. Making time is a little like making room in a cluttered attic. While you could throw some things out, it is easier to keep trying to stuff more things in and not throw anything out. Maybe that’s why we are all busy. We are unable to do a good job of “making time” by throwing some old things out. We don’t do a good job of prioritizing.

What if we could throw more old things out? How many old time wasters and useless time activities do you have? What could you throw out today to make more time? If you could re-order all of your time priorities, what would your life be like? Could you just try it for a day? See what happens. Take at least one piece of time out of your attic today and throw it away. I will bet it will help you to control your live and live more peacefully.