Aging Capriciously

I only wish I had the time to help. The other morning I was in a coffee shop in Arizona City. This is a local hangout place for philosophers, world affairs experts and low-cost Starbuck’s wannabees. The group will range from right-wing to left-wing depending on the time of the morning. The Curve’s group come in at about 9:30 so the MEN try to be out there by then. No sense discussing politics, sports and world solutions with a bunch of women. This morning my time was bordering between mens time and womens time. Thus, there was a blending of both sexes. One of the world experts and philosophers noted a guy outside who was working his way down the medium strip picking what appeared to be “weeds.” “Whats that guy doing?” “Who is he.” “Does he think he can get all the weeds in town.” “Must be nice to have nothing to do.” I mean look at us in the coffee shop, we are solving the world’s political problems and selecting the best coachs and players for all the NFL, NBA and other professional sports leaques. Why doesn’t he join us and do something useful?

Well after much debate, one of the women in the shop went out to ask him what he was doing. She talked to him about five minutes and returned. All weighty and important world discussions ceased as we anxiously awaited this strange man’s mission and goals in life. I must admit, I was thinking he was doing some kind of good deed that only the retired or indigent have time to do. I was surprised to find that he was gainfully employed, but he donated one hour a week of his time to help make the community a nicer place to live. I had expected that he would be some “do gooder retiree” with too much time on his hands. My rationale for not doing something like this has always been “I don’t have the time.” I was embarrassed to think that someone, anyone of us, could simply go out and pick weeds one hour per week. Do I have one hour per week to pick weeds? I am spending an hour at least three times per week solving the world’s problems with my fellow philosophers. The answer is clearly yes. Funny, I never thought about it. I assumed you either worked and did paid activity or you were retired and did “free” stuff for the world and society. Given that I had no immediate plans to retire, the free stuff did not seem like to much of an option.

Now please don’t get me wrong. I do 12 to 16 hours of work per week pro bono for a business development group locally. I work with small start up companies to help them develop their business plan and marketing strategies. I do not get paid for this and I think it is worthwhile, but it is or seems very different from simply going down the street to pick weeks. One seems professional and important, the other seems mundane. Yet, many of us would rather have more beauty in our lives and perhaps less business.

What if you and I simply gave one hour per week of community service? What if more of us were visible in our community instead of living on our decks or behind our stone walls and increasingly gated communities? This strange man picking weeds has inspired me to go beyond my limits. I now see a big gray area beyond work and retirement. Only it really is not gray, it is quite blue and green.

Have you ever written your eulogy? A eulogy is a formal memorial speech delivered when someone dies and usually at their funeral. We have all been to a funeral where we were very moved by the oration that a friend, family member or pastor gave. Most of the time, these were written after the person died. Sometimes they hit the mark and really describe the person and other times not as well. What someone would say about us might not be what we would want to say ourselves. Unfortunately, there is no coming back after the fact to write our own eulogy. Fortunately, you can write one now.

Why would anyone want to write their own eulogy you might ask? Not because you will be better able to tell the truth about yourself; though this would be a pleasant change from the usual glowing eulogies. The answer is because it can help you to see what is most important in your life. It will help you to address the question of whether you are really working towards what is important. When you are dead and buried will you be remembered for what you were trying to accomplish in life? Perhaps not! But perhaps thinking about what you would like to be remembered for now can help focus you on your goal and the real purpose of your life.

This is a common exercise in many human relations classes. It is very simple. Just imagine that you are at your own funeral. The speaker is up on the podium getting ready to talk about you to the assemblage of friends and families. What would you like that person to say about you? What activities, events, goals and aspirations do you want to be remembered for? Write them all down. You have now written your own eulogy.

Now for the hard part! Looking over your eulogy, how does it sound? Is it realistic? Do you think someone would really say that about you now? Why or why not? What would you have to change in your life to make your eulogy real? How much time do you have to change your life around? It is never to late too start!

Process time is a common term in business. When I first started doing TQM (Total Quality Management) consulting, it became very important to start thinking of everything in business as a process. The key to process consulting was to believe that all processes could be improved if they were first understood. Using TQM methods, we could understand our organizational processes and continuously improve them thereby lowering costs, improving productivity and increasing customer satisfaction. The “atom” of business was the “process” and to understand the business, you had to understand the core processes. The business DNA lay in the unraveling of the process steps and metrics.

I soon came to realize that these same concepts could be used to improve my personal and family life. I began to see that everything we do in life is a process and that by better understanding the key processes that affect my life, I could also continuously improve my family and personal life. There are communication processes, argument resolution processes, financial processes, vacation time processes, family together time processes, personal growth processes, child rearing processes, retirement processes and many others. The more I understand them and how they can be continually improved, the better my life is. Indeed, by applying the same principles to may life that make a business successful, I have learned to improve my personal life. Whatever affects my personal life affects my business life and vice- versa.

The task of “process understanding” is not an easy one. In fact, it is never ending. There is always more to be understood when studying a process. The major value is that you never have to be perfect. The more you understand the better things will become. We spend all of our lives engaged in process time activities. It only makes sense to look at what we are doing and try to find a better way to do it. What key processes affect your life? Which of these are you improving and which of these are you ignoring? Why are you ignoring them? What processes could you do more work on to improve? How could you start? Would it make a difference in your life? Then why not start now? Who could help you get started?

Downtime! How that one word strikes joy in our hearts. Historically, it is derived from a machine or system that is no longer up and running. Today, it means that your computer system at work has crashed and you cannot get anything done. When IT systems crash today, we are all in a quandary with what to do during downtime. Nevertheless, there is real joy during periods of enforced downtime.

The opposite of downtime is uptime. When was the last time you heard anybody excited about uptime? As in, “boy, I hope we can have more uptime today!” Not very likely! Uptime is taken for granted since uptime is when things are running normal and we are expected to be creative, productive and industrious. We cannot goof off during uptime since the machines and computers are running and all systems are set on go. Thus, we go, go, go. We become like machines ourselves except we cannot turn off between 9-5 unless we have lunch or a scheduled break. Downtime gives us a brief but unexpected break from our daily tedium.

We may all need more downtime in our lives. However, downtime is not promoted as a value or as something to aspire to. Have you ever heard of anyone negotiating downtime in their contract? Have you ever heard of a Union arguing for more downtime? Downtime is regarded as the enemy of productivity. Vacations, holidays, time off, sick days are all a form of “planned downtime.” However, many of us are too busy to take “planned downtime.” Some of us run and run until stress or illness forces downtime. The body takes over and says “enough is enough.” We all know people who never take breaks or who seem to always be on the go. Then the day comes when their system crashes and illness or stress puts them in bed or the hospital. Many of us do not take good care of ourselves to prevent stress and thus avoid “system downtime.”

Do you ever plan your own downtime or do you wait until either you or your computer crashes? What stops you from taking a needed rest or unenforced period of downtime? Are you really so essential to the job or activity that you cannot take a break? Can the world live without you for a day or so? Stress is a major cause of illness and most of us have too much in our lives. Perhaps if you plan your own downtime today you can look forward to your uptime tomorrow.

Digital versus Analog time. Have you ever thought that the world could be divided into two kinds of information? Analog is where the information is a continuous flow. Examples are the old time 33 1/3 LP records. Now we have digital music which is numerically encoded. The old time watches with a sweep hand are another example of analog time while today they are more of a fashion item and many of us wear digital watches. Even these are being replaced by those who use cell phones for their time needs. Movies are now becoming digitized where they have been primarily analog. Of course, computers are the essence of digitization.

Digitization is remaking our world. Once analog signals ruled the information world, today we are living in a digital world where information flow is ruled by numbers. Does it make any difference? Some people argue that the old type of records had better fidelity than the new digital records. Many researchers find that qualitative information (interviews, focus groups) is more useful than the quantitative information found in surveys, Gallup Polls and other rating systems. There are pro’s and con’s to each system but there is little doubt that digital signals are replacing analog signals in our emerging global interconnected marketplace.

In terms of personal time, are you a digital or an analog person? Do you see the world broken into discrete increments of time, like bytes and bits? Or, do you see the world as a continuous stream of activities and events? If you are a digital time person, how do you think your view would be changed today if you thought like an analog person? Vice versa, if you are an analog person, how do you think the world would look today to you if you thought like a digital person? Can you switch perspectives or do you find it impossible to think in such a contrary manner? How do you think your children see the world? Do they see it as a continuous flow or as a series of discrete events? Can you see any difference it makes it how we view the world?

Late-Late-Late! We all know people who are late for everything. Late to events, late to work, and some would joke, even late to their own funerals. It is easy to find excuses for being late and we could each name a dozen “excuses.” People who are chronically late would call these reasons and not excuses. To those of us who make a point or habit of being on time, it is very difficult to tolerate the lateness of others. We see it as inconsiderate, rude and thoughtless. We see it as preventable with some advance planning and foresight. Nevertheless, we don’t seem to be decreasing incidents of lateness in the world or changing those who are chronically late.

Maybe, those of us who are chronically on time are the real problem. Was the world really meant to be run by a clock? Maybe the punctual have capitulated while the “latecomers” are the real rebels. Fighting against the dictates of the almighty clock and the culture of promptness ushered in by our advanced industrial and digital society. Perhaps, the “latecomers’ are living time in a more natural manner where life is based on cycles and not on a clock. The punctual person is driven by the time of day and the time designated by a tacit contract. The meeting will start at 8 AM. Be there or be late. The latecomer is driven by their own necessities and by an inner clock: “It is still dark out;”
“I am too tired to get up yet;” “So what if I come late, it’s not the end of the world;” “I have more important priorities;” or “I don’t feel like rushing.” The punctual person is horrified by these excuses: “What, I broke my neck to get here on time and the meeting was canceled.”

Life is not fair to the punctual person. But what do we tell our kids about the fairness of life? Do you suppose hell is a place where everyone must be on time or suffer severe punishments? Hard to imagine what could already be worse than hell. What happens to the late comers in hell then? What about the punctual? Are the places in heaven guaranteed only for the punctual? Can you be punctual and still go to hell?

How obsessed are you with being on time? Is there a place in your life for “time cycles” and not clock time? What if you are late? What difference will it make? Can you be late and not feel guilty? What does it mean to walk a line between obsessive punctuality and perpetual lateness? Does anyone really care if you are late or on time?

Perceived time is what time feels like for us on a personal level. It has nothing to do with what the clock says. My “Perceived Flow of Time” changes depending on what I am going to do and when I do it. It is a mental state regarding the flow of time in our individual lives. Perceived time can be slow or fast depending on our circumstances and what we are doing. For example, I seem to need at least eight hours of sleep during the workweek, however on the weekends, I am up about two hours earlier than during the workweek and I am anxious and ready to go. I don’t need as much time to sleep and I feel full of energy on less sleep. This is a mental message being sent by my brain to my body. I perceive my world of time differently on the weekend than I do during the week. This perception enables me to do more with less. I know that it is due to my expectations but it is interesting to see the extra energy I have when the time is all mine and I do not have one commitment and appointment after another. Weekends can fly by while weeks pass much more slowly.

My flow of time during the week is also very different from event to event. Time seems to drag by during some tasks and fly by during others. When I have to go out and run during the cold Minnesota winter, the minutes and miles seem to take much more effort and time then during the late spring and early fall. When I am starting a new project and unsure about what to do, the time seems to flow by very slowly. Conversely, when I am really having fun with a task or really enjoying myself, time seems to pass in a flicker of thought.

Have you ever noticed how your perception of time changes depending on what you are doing and whom you are doing it with? Watch your time today. Don’t judge it or criticize it but just observe it. How does your flow of time seem to change for you? How is it different for you during the workweek and during the weekend? Does it change much? What do you think changes the flow of time for you? Are you satisfied with how time flows in your life? What would you like to change about it? What would you like to remain the same? Change your thoughts about time and you change the flow of time.

Linear time is the means by which most of us think of time. We count our time from when we are born to when we die. We measure history as a series of events beginning with the first in recorded history to the most recent. By definition, by usage, by convenience and by all the other ways we measure time; it would appear to flow in a straight line and in only one direction. The direction is from the past to the future.

However, what if time were not always linear? Have you ever noticed how “time flies” when you are having fun or enjoying yourself? When this happens, time no longer seems to be linear. It is experienced as more of a happening. A happening is something that seems almost without measure or without the ability to sense any “flow” of time. During a “happening” events and time merge and we do not notice time passing by. Depending on the event, it could pass by in a flash or it could seem like it was standing still. A moment can sometimes seem like an eternity and an eternity can sometimes seem like a moment. When you are having fun, you do not notice time passing nor can you measure your fun in terms of minutes and seconds. Imagine someone telling you to have fun for 30 minutes or so and then stop.

Some of us might wish we had more of these happenings when time was non-existent. How many of you would like to stop the clock or get off the train someplace where no one knew or cared what time it was. Do you ever get tired of tracking the seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months and years of existence? What if there was no such thing as time? Sadly we would not have a recollection of some of the great moments in life. How often do you look back at past happenings and treasure them as timeless. We only wish they had never stopped or could be repeated again and again.

What if today could be a day without time for you? What if you did not have to think about time even once today? Could that possibly happen? Can you imagine a “timeless” day? If it was, what would your day be like? What would it take to help you to forget time today? What if you lived one second at a time and did not worry about the past or the future? Would your life be better or worse without time?

FedEx has become one of the largest corporations in the world by expediting the packages that we send and receive. The United States Postal Service (USPS) left a wide open gap in the market by being more hum drum about the time it takes to send and receive packages. Little did the Postal Service realize the increased priority that people were placing on time! This created an incredible opportunity that was fulfilled by both FedEx and United Parcel Service. In today’s market place, someone will always jump into an opportunity and fulfill it. Products and services can always be: better, faster and cheaper. Faster is one of the three prime factors that can confer a competitive advantage. Time is money and money is time.

How many opportunities do you think are still out there in respect to time? If you could think about it differently, do you think you might find a great opportunity? I believe there are hundreds if not millions of opportunities still waiting for the wise entrepreneur in the area of time. Time is the most important item that anyone has and yet while we measure the Gross National Product (GNP) in terms of products and services, there are no measures for “GNT” or Gross National Time. We measure Per Capital Income but there are no measures of PCT (Per Capita Time). PCT could tell us how well as a nation we are doing in respect to managing time. Time is one of our most valuable assets but we can continue to act like it is of less importance than capital or products.

How much per capital time do you have each week left over after all your “chores” and work is done? Are you a rich person or a poor person in regards to time? Do you have more time than you need or do you have less? How could you find more time in your life for the things you really want to do?

No Time! No Time! A woman I worked with once passed me by in the office hallway and when I started to say “Good Morning”, she held up the palm of her hand facing me and loudly proclaimed: “No Time”, then continued to walk on by me. I thought she was very rude. I could not believe that anyone could have such manners or be in such a hurry that they simply could not reply to a “Good Morning.” The phrase “No Time” has become a sort of mantra for modern life. We have all heard the excuse used for lack of exercise, poor diets, failure to take better care of our health, our friends, our spouse and even our children. Who is not busy today or who would admit to not being busy? It is a status symbol to be so busy that we do not have time for anything. Are we so busy making a living that we have no time for making a life?

I thought about the above incident quite a few times in the past years. Recently, I had some second thoughts about her behavior. Instead of judging her; I have thought about the stress in her life and wondered if I do not often treat people the same way, albeit with different tactics. I might not loudly proclaim “No Time”, but I do it in more subtle ways. I don’t listen to what people are saying; I brush off other’s problems with no response; I do not take the time to spend with my friends or loved ones; I retreat to the TV or a book when I don’t want to spend time with people and I can find myriad excuses to avoid people when I want to. In my own way, I am keeping my time and not sharing it with others. I am just not as direct as my fellow co-worker was.

How often do you say “no time” to friends, kids, relatives and even your spouse? Do you have “No Time” today but you think you will have it tomorrow? How often are you “out of time” for your loved ones or the things you really enjoy doing? When will you have time? Tomorrow may be too late.