Aging Capriciously

As many of you know, one of my favorite places in the world is the library.  I wrote a few blogs about my love for libraries which you can read at:

• https://agingcapriciously.com/2021/02/04/do-you-read-enough-do-you-love-ideas-and-books/
• https://agingcapriciously.com/2021/03/05/the-seven-greatest-appreciations-of-life-literature/
• https://agingcapriciously.com/2014/03/16/books-books-books-books-books/

More recently, there has been much discussion among my library group concerning the possibilities of establishing a presidential library for our former President and hero, the esteemed Donald J. Trump.  We invited local residents and friends of the President (We all know Donald is the real President and the election was stolen) to submit ideas for a library to us.  We plan on establishing a fund for a Presidential library to honor the many contributions to America that were made by THE Donald.  The following is a composite of some of the ideas that were contributed by his loyal followers.  We are open to other ideas, and we believe that if the funds come through from loyal Republicans and not RHINOS, we can have this library built before Donald is reelected president in 2024.  Wouldn’t that be a nice gift for him?

Location and Donations:

To honor #45’s astounding single term, plans are underway for The T-RUMP Pressadental Liberry. Funds are being solicited for this fantabulous libraray. Be one of the first to donate. Donate often and donate BIG! The T-Rump Organization, LTD, has identified several key properties available for purchase on which to build the Liberry. Properties are actively being vetted to select the highest-valuation property for loan purposes, lowest-valuation for tax purposes. For updates, visit thegreatestpressadent.com website.

Exciting liberry exhibits:

GOLF:

• The first exhibit to greet visitors, will take up one-half of the Liberry, to reflect how DJT prioritized this activity during his Pressadency.
• Golf score cards. The full collection of ALL 285+ golf games T-Rump played as #45. An impressive record of birdies, eagles, and a-holes-in-one. No matter the players , the Pres always WON!
• MAGA -Make American Golf Again – hats worn by the Pressadent with orange sweat stains that indicate just how hard he worked.
• A world map highlights all the T-Rump Golf Courses, with a list of the $142 million total U.S. government expenditures. Detailed descriptions of Secret Service stays, Coast Guard costs, Pressadental adult children’s trips, with security details, and congressional allies.

NOTE: For those under par visitors who aren’t good golfers, we look the other way if you cheat

FINANCES:

• T-Rump tax returns for the past 20 years.

NOTE: Construction on this exhibit is currently in limbo. Check with the US Attorney for the Southern District of New York website for further information. 

DAILY PRESSADENTAL BRIEFING COLORING BOOK

• This is the REAL one, not the knock-off for sale on Amazon for $120.21.
• See the colorful pictures, charts, and graphs that make these intelligence briefings seem not so dire.
• Try to decipher the margin notes from dismissed national security advisors like H.R, McMaster, John Bolton, and Mike Flynn.
• Marvel at the different and brilliant color palettes each advisor chose to secure the Pressadent’s attention for more than ten seconds.
• To quote #45, “No need to get serious about security. I like pictures.”

PUT ‘ER THERE, MAN-UP INTERACTIVE DISPLAY

• Put your hand through the slot. feel the doughy, damp flesh from a small hand. The firm grip may be enough to cause real pain, before pulling you forward until your cheek slams into the glass enclosure.
• A manly-man handshake that #45 used to greet, and almost topple, world leaders.
• Bonus videos of the most famous handshakes play in the display’s background, with one notable exception. In the DJT and Justin Trudeau video, the two world leaders are seen only from the shoulders up. Apparently, Justin had trained for this encounter.

THE HEART OF THE STEAL:

• Signed, 1^st edition of “The Heart of the Steal,” DJT’s memoir of his unfounded allegations (but totally believable, possible, probable, and plausible to him and his acolytes) of the stolen 2020 Pressadental election.
• The book jacket says it all:
  • “A page turner for all 5 pages. Brave and brief.” Eric T-Rump.
  • “Just as I dictated.” Vlad Who’s your Daddy?
  • “As flawed as the fraud of this election.” Don, T-Rump Jr.
  • “Fabulous fabrication. He’s a genius.” Rudy Giuliani
  • “Supremely Stupendous. Terribly Tremendous. Hugely and Harribly Horrendous, if I do say so myself. I deserve all the credit for this book, and MORE!” #45
  • “Proud to be his progeny.” Ivanka T-Rump-Kushner.
  • “We’re having a hard time keeping this one on the shelf,” said B & N spokeswoman, Paige Rieder. “It’s a bit unbalanced, falls apart when examined, so we’ve had to lock ‘er up.”

HISTORICAL PHOTOS

• Unretouched photo of the 2017 Inauguration crowd. When you approach the photo, hear Press Secretary Sean Spicer’s official estimate of “the largest Pressadental Inauguration audience, ever.”
• Panoramic photo of the 2017 Women’s March on Washington crowd. There are no official estimates, because the T-Rump White House has never acknowledged that this event ever took place.
• Photo of Donald grabbing a pussy . . .. hat. This is a family Liberry. The compilation video of the real pussy grabs will be shown in the pay-per-view booths on the lowest level. Also on display, the Palms d’Orzo Award this video received from Lui magazine.
• Photos of Don with his Bromance Buddies – Vlad, Kim, Recep, Al Saud. Unfortunately, several of the Russian oligarchs declined to send photos from their secluded villas.

NOTE: The photo with Jeffrey Epstein has been terminated.

I’VE DONE MORE FOR BLACK PEOPLE THAN . . .

• Small portrait of Abraham Lincoln, overshadowed by the quadrupled-sized one of # 45. “After all I did for all those black folks, I deserve the credit.”

NOTE: In this Liberry, black is not capitalized.

• Rainbow flag to show DJT’s commitment to diversity, with stripes of all colors – lily white, snow white, creamy white, ivory, linen, porcelain, and white-white.

LIBATIONS

• The first bottle of Pressadental red wine, Crabbernay, 2020 vintage
• Some of the original sour grapes that went into the making of this libation are preserved with it. The entire display is supported with the twisted vines from which the grapes were picked.
• This is sure to be a crowd pleaser, so order your case early. There’s a HUGE stockpile, but this product went out of production after Jan. 20, 2021. Even so, we expect it to ferment for decades.
• NOTE: While DJT does not consume alcohol, he knows many of his followers imbibe to the point of being drunk. He only gets drunk on power.

JAIL CELL

• A communal jail cell of wax figures for everyone T-Rump wanted to lock up – Barak Obama, Hilary Clinton, Gretchen Whitmer, Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Adam Kitzinger, Hunter Biden, Liz Cheney, etc.
• Cell walls are expandable to accommodate more enemies as they are identified. Think Mike Pence, Mitch McConnell, and almost anyone who has ever been loyal to him.

WOMEN’S ISSUES

• Complete list, with photos, of T-Rump’s bedmates. The known and the new. We think patrons will agree, they’re all good-lookers, not a dog among them. A prodigious list.
• A pink pussy hat. The Liberrian is still deciding how the display mannequin should wear this item – on her head or between her legs. DJT has tweeted his preference, but our Liberrian is concerned patrons may be encouraged to grab it. “I’m fond of it, and wouldn’t want it to get manhandled,” she quipped.

AUDIO ATROCITIES

• Donald’s Diatribes – original recordings of the Pressadent’s earliest radio broadcasts on his own network, Rump Radio, established in 2021. You’ll delight at the static and stasis of his statements. Thrill at his titillating tantrums. Faint over his fraudulent factoids. A must-listen for those already indoctrinated and intoxicated.
• January 22, 2017 Meet the Press video of Kellyanne Conway’s first utterance of the infamous phrase, “alternative facts.” Interesting to note that this was broadcast by a fake news channel, so it may not have actually occurred, in spite of archival footage of the event.
• Continuous loop of Fox and Friends morning shows, especially those that fawn over DJT. His call-ins are broadcast at 120 decibels so he can be heard throughout the Liberry. While that sound level may harm your hearing, we believe many of the visitors are already deaf to his diatribes.
• Flying through the air, a real Twitter storm. All 2,600+ tweets have been saved and transcribed on to a small piece of shit (used figuratively here, although the real tweets do reek even more with age.) The storm will rage throughout the Liberry’s hours with larger outbursts that coincide with snippets of mainstream media fake news items that particularly honked off #45.

BONUS BENEFITS

• Big Mac wrappers. Because of the sheer volume, they will be used for wallpaper throughout the Liberry.
• Super spreader events. Hopefully by the time the Liberry opens, we will still be able to hold these popular and populist rallies. The excitement is contagious.
• Rally rosters. Find your name on the list of patriots who attended the campaign rallies. NOTE: Names are listed in descending order by the amount you donated. Any contribution less than $25,000 is not acknowledged. “With a second mortgage, ya coulda been a contenda.”

Direct large donations to Liberryisme@donaldjT-Rump.com, DISCLAMER: There is no guarantee that any of donated funds will be funneled into Liberry exhibits.

PS:  I wish I could claim to have written the above material but I cannot.  This blog/satire was done by a friend of mine who wanted to remain anonymous.  She is an excellent writer and story teller and has a wonderful sense of humor as you can tell from reading the blog.