Aging Capriciously

She was ahead of her times! That invention was ahead of its time! We are often amazed when we find out that some ideas or some products and services were either thought of or offered many years before they became popular. Wal-Mart was not well known until the 80’s but the company actually started in the early 50’s. U-Haul took off when all the baby boomers decided to move from the East coast to the West coast and needed a cheap reliable way to haul their goods out to California. However, U-Haul started shortly after World War II and was around for 20 years before it began its rapid growth.

What if you are ahead of the times? This might not always be a good thing. Sometimes inventions are too early and people are just not ready for them. The first computer created by Charles Babbage was not very practical due to its size and mode of operation. It took the invention and application of electricity to make a practical computer. The idea of applying nuclear energy began around 1900 but it took the Manhattan project and the invention of the atom bomb to show the reality and potential of nuclear power.

Thus, “timing is everything.” You can be ahead of your time and never see the success of your idea or invention. Nevertheless, most of us would rather be accused of being ahead of our time rather than “behind the times.” Have you ever been ahead of the times? Has anyone ever told you that you were ahead of the times? Do you have ideas for products and services that you see are subsequently developed by someone else? Do you capitalize on your ability to think ahead? Do you feel that you need to be more ahead of the times or are you satisfied with where you are now? What would it take for you to be more ahead of the times? How might this ability affect your life?

Let’s explore the way that we use some common terms or phrases concerning time. We talk about being on time, ahead of the times and behind the times. We use these phrases so often that they become “unconscious” and we seldom reflect on what they mean or whether they really mean what we want them to mean. We all think we know what they mean but do we really agree with what they mean? Are we using them “correctly?”

For instance, we sometimes say about someone we know that they are “stuck” in the past. We may say this because they seem to fondly remember their best days as when they were in high school or when they were in college or when they lived someplace else or some other time that was happier or more pleasant for them. However, are they really stuck in the past? What does it mean to be stuck in the past? Can they be partially stuck or only stuck sometimes? If so, how can they get “unstuck?” Are we all stuck in the past at least sometimes?

There are many other phrases that we use concerning time that have become so habitual with us that we take them for granted. We assume that we know what they mean when we hear them. We apply them to our lives and to those around us without thinking about how we use them or what their use implies. The novel “Alice in Wonderland” by Lewis Carroll is so powerful because the meaning of words and the way they are used in the story forces us to rethink the meaning of things that we take for granted. For instance, who ever heard of an “un-birthday” party? Well, it is a wonderful twist on an expectation that you can only have a party on your birthday. You can have an “unbirthday party” 364 days a year. One of my favorite exchanges in the story takes place between Alice and Humpty Dumpty:

Humpty Dumpty: When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean – neither more nor less.
Alice: The question is, whether you can make words mean so many different things.
Humpty Dumpty: The question is: which is to be master – that’s all.

The phrases that we use concerning time can have many different meanings. We each choose the meaning that we desire or that we learned as a child. Other people may have different meanings or different associations. For instance, what does it mean to be late? What does it mean to be on-time? Who decides what is late and who decides what is on-time is? How much is late? What does it take to be on time? Who decides? Well of course, you and I do, right? Well, then how come so much of the world seems to thwart our best efforts to be on time? Maybe we are all dancing to a different beat.

Is it worth the effort to get everybody in sync? Does everyone you know agree with your definitions of time? What if your definitions of time were more flexible? What difference would this make for your family and friends? Are you too flexible already? What if you were less flexible? Would your life be smoother and happier?

Have you ever tried to be creative in a hurry? It is probably not going to happen. Some of the greatest ideas in history have come at spontaneous random times. Indeed, many great ideas have come in dreams or during periods of sleep or relaxation. You cannot be creative on a schedule. Conversely, creativity is a process like any other activity and requires a systematic use and application of time tested principles. The creative process proceeds through steps. One of the earliest models of the creative process is attributed to Graham Wallas (The Art of Thought, New York: Harcourt Brace, 1926) who proposed that creative thinking proceeds through the following four phases:

The Wallas Model for the Process of Creativity
Preparation (definition of issue, observation, and study)
Incubation (laying the issue aside for a time)
Illumination (the moment when a new idea finally emerges)
Verification (checking it out)

Of course, not all experts agree with the idea of steps or stages for creativity. For example, Vinacke (1953) is adamant that creative thinking in the arts does not follow a model. In a similar vein, Gestalt philosophers like Wertheimer (1945) assert that the process of creative thinking is an integrated line of thought that does not lend itself to the segmentation implied by the steps of a model. But while such views are strongly held, they are in the minority. (Working Paper: Models for the Creative Process by Paul E. Plsek, 1996) http://www.directedcreativity.com

Which ever way you look at it, time plays a key role in the creative process. If creativity requires preparation, incubation, illumination and verification each of these tasks takes time. I would also add a step for stimulation to the process. Something must be sufficient to stimulate and motivate me to want to solve a problem or be creative. If not, I will not put the time and energy into looking for a solution.

Some might also add that it takes a great deal of imagination to be creative. Many of us might feel wanting in this area. It is true some people are more imaginative then others. However, I would argue that if we apply time to our problems in a systematic fashion than we can all be creative. If you think you can solve your problems overnight, you are going to be disappointed. If you realize that it will take time and you are willing to apply a systematic process to your problems then almost any problem is solvable.

What problems have you been ignoring that a systematic use of time and effort might help you to solve? How could you start working on those problems? What changes in your life might occur if you could solve these problems? Have you labeled yourself as unimaginative and uncreative? Who could help you with these problems? A little help with any issue can provide new insights and illumination.

Religions can treat time as linear or non-linear. In some religions, we are born, live, die and go to heaven (or hell). Other religions treat time as cyclical. We are born, live, die and born again. Religions treat their belief systems as somewhat exclusive. You may be a Catholic or a Hindu but few people would profess to be both. The difference between the two orientations towards life, death and the flow of time seems to be profound.

In one belief system, we may never have a chance to redo something that we have done wrong. Of course, Christians (a linear time orientation) hold out the hope of salvation until the very end. However, once it has ended and you go to the great judgment, it is over. You must rise or descend based on what you have done in your life. In the Hindu religion (a circular time orientation), you will have a second chance. It is never too late.

“What happens to a soul after the death of a mortal being on earth depends upon many factors, some of which are listed below: 1. His previous deeds. If a person has committed many bad deeds in his life, he will go to the lower worlds and suffer from the consequences of his evil actions. On the contrary, if he performed good deeds, he will go to the higher sun filled worlds and enjoy the life there.” (Hinduism and Death: The Hindu View on Death by http://www.hinduwebsite.com)

In the Hindu religion, even if you have seriously failed in your past life, you will be given another chance to succeed. Indeed, even if you fail again, you will come back again and again until you get it right.

How we view the cycle of living, dying and birth may have a direct bearing on how we live our lives. Each day we live, we are impacted by our method of thinking about time. If I believe in a judgment day and the finality of life with death, I may be disposed to think of time as being over when I die. Time is measured from when I am born to when I pass away. If I view life as a cycle of birth-death-rebirth, my portion of time spent living is just one spoke in the great wheel of time that is infinite and that will go on forever. In the Hindu religion, there is no end to time; infinity is part of my daily existence. In the Christian religion, time become infinite only when you are dead since heaven and hell are believed to be infinite.

Many of us who live in the Western world tend to be more linear in our orientation to time versus those in the East. This has many ramifications from how we deal with war to how we deal with our daily economy. How do you view life now? Do you see it as coming and going? Does each day bring you closer to your final day on earth? Or do you see each day as simply another step in a larger cycle of coming around again and again and again? What if your view was changed? What would life be like if you could adopt at least part of the other orientation? What if you saw life as cyclical or linear instead of how you view it now? Would you change anything in your life? Why or why not?

I feel tired this morning. I feel tired now. I have never felt so tired in my whole life. Common expressions with which we are all familiar, but what does it really mean to be tired? You might answer that it means to feel weary, slow, sluggish or exhausted. Each of these words conveys ideas of low energy or enthusiasm. So what does time have to do with being tired? Everything of course! Time is perhaps one of the chief villains in the case. However time can also be your hero or heroine. There is a sense in which energy is tied to time and a sense in which energy is strictly a mental effort.

Many of my students start each day off tired even before I have begun class. I can see it in their manners and behavior as I am looking at each of them. Are they anticipating a boring lecture or that their minds will be stretched with new ideas or have they simply stayed up and partied too hard the night before. Perhaps they worked the previous evening and are now too tired to focus their minds. Being tired can be caused by physical stress or mental stress or even anticipation of events. Time can modify these effects. Never give a long-winded speech after lunch as participants will have not have the attention they would have either just before lunch or a few hours after the food has digested.

Some of us are morning people and we have our primary energy in the morning. Some of us are evening people with reversed energy patterns. They call this the larks and night owls behavior and there is some evidence that it is genetically based. It is smart to pay attention to your energy patterns. This probably explains why some people need coffee to function in the morning and some of us do not. Many medical problems could be prevented if more of us were in tune with our life patterns. Research has shown that accidents are more common when people are tired or stressed.

Do you start the day with energy or are you always tired? If the latter, ask yourself if you are really where you want to be or are you doing what you want to do. It will always be more tiring to do things when our hearts are not really into them. Are you more tired in the morning or evening? Are you more tired when you have a bunch of work to do or when you start the first day of a vacation? Can you learn to spot the patterns for energy in your life and honor these patterns?

Haste makes waste! He who hesitates is lost? These are two very popular sayings but they express two very different ideas and concepts. You well might ask which is true. Should I take my time, think things through, get a second opinion and then make a decision to act? Or is such carefulness a vice? In this day of rapid change, perhaps hesitating is to lose great opportunities. What do to? Act quickly or think things over?

Alas, the world is full of information which contradicts itself. Perhaps, the contradictions arise from the simple fact that there is no ultimate truth. Sometimes it pays to act fast and sometime it pays to hesitate. The complexity of life makes it so much more interesting. Perhaps, you have heard it said “All things in moderation.” This is good advice, however sometimes moderation can lack passion and commitment. To be too moderate, is to be very bland. There are times when you must take a stand on something. Thus, moderation itself is not always a panacea. In life, there will be times when you must rush and times when you cannot afford to rush. There may also be times when it pays to go down the middle road. It was simple for Frost since he had only two choices. Today, most of us face multiple choices. The road now forks ten or more directions.

Which path do I go down today? What kind of a day will this be for you? Will it be a day to be careful and deliberate or will it be a day for speed and uncertainty? How will you decide? At the end of this day, ask yourself if you found the right balance between haste and hesitancy? Did you? What will tomorrow bring?

Went to a wedding a short time ago and found some good advice at the church. I picked up a card in the pew and found an interesting comment on it. The comment on the card was from the web site: http://www.getpeace.org, and read: “The rest of the world is going at super speed, and few individuals take the time to be nice.” It went on to point out that we need to take the time to be kind to others. It helps them and it helps us. A few years ago, someone made the idea of “random acts of kindness” very popular. That had always appealed to me until I read the following: “Why random acts of kindness, why not systematic and intentional daily acts of kindness.” This makes a great deal of sense. Why should kindness be random in our society? Who was it that said “What knowledge is there that is greater than kindness.”

We read daily of “random acts of violence” but violence is not random in our world. Violence is daily and systematic. Violence destroys the fabric of society and of our lives. The only antidote to violence is kindness. Can we be more kind? Can we be less violent? What if today you took some time to be kind to a complete stranger, someone whom you did not know? How do you think you might feel after? How do you think they might feel?

At the end of today, come back to these thoughts of kindness and answer these questions: Where you able to be kind to someone today? Did you make a difference? Did you feel better? What if you tried to be kind every day? What if you programmed yourself for daily acts of intentional and planned kindness? Would the world be a better place if we all did that? Who will be the first to try?

Reflections on Time

Time and tide wait for no man or woman; an old saying that has been around forever. Despite this good advice, there are people who are forever waiting. In fact, some might argue that the world is composed of two types of people; the wait-ers and the do-ers. Wait-ers are people who hope that good things will come to them and do-ers are people that make the good things come to them. Wait-ers hope to win the lottery so they can buy the things they want. Do-ers go out and make the money to buy what they want. We all have friends who fall into these categories or habits. Friends who are waiting to take a holiday to another country, friends who are waiting for Mr. or Ms right, friends who are waiting for their ship to arrive. We eventually come to realize that they will be dead and buried before any of these things happen. One of the reasons why Nike’s motto “Just do it” is so powerful is the way it resonates with most of us at a primal level. We all want to be doers but many of us fall into the category of wait-ers.

Why do we wait is a good question? Why do we wait and wait and wait and wait? What fears stop us (because the answer to the first question is FEAR) from becoming doers? What can we do to overcome these fears? Psychologists would say that the first step is to overcome the excuses and denial and to admit our fears. Once we admit our fears, we can take the second step. The second step is to decide to do something about our fears. I was afraid of heights. For years, I admitted it but could not decide what to do about it. Finally, I decided to do a solo parachute jump. It took me nearly ten years but I finally did it on my 55th birthday. Since then, I am much less intimated by being up high. The third step is to decide what you need to do to overcome your fear. There are often many remedies, but which is the right solution for you. For me, it was to find a sky diving club, join them and take a class in sky-diving. The fourth and final step is to take action. Once I decided to take the sky-diving training and jump, I had to actually attend the training and then go to the school. I had to make several trips to the airport before I could jump because on two consecutive occasions the airport was closed for jumping due to bad weather. I almost gave up the idea but the third time was a charm. I was able to jump by myself out of the plane at about 5000 feet. Believe me when I say, I was scared to death. However as I floated down, I realized the beauty and unreality of the entire event. I actually relaxed enough to start enjoying it once my chute opened. Had I not taken action, the entire first three steps would be worthless.

Which are you, a wait-er or a do-er? We all are wait-ers in some areas of our lives. We all have fears that cause us to avoid or put off doing certain things. What are the events and activities that you put off? What are the fears you have to overcome? Can you practice these four steps or just take one of them this next year? What do you think would happen if you did? How do you think your life would be different? Life is waiting for you to start.

“Now is the winter of our discontent” is a famous opening line from Shakespeare’s Richard The Third Act 1, scene 1, 1–4. Whether or not as many have noted, the future King Richard was expressing joy rather than discontent is irrelevant. The major point here being that for many winter is a source of discontent. In Minnesota, winter is dreaded due to the cold, snow and ice storms. We have an inordinate amount of accidents during the winter months that plague drivers and slow the commutes down. We have about five months of winter compared to three months of summer. We even have a phenomenon called “Snow Birds.’ These are people who fly south every winter to live in Florida, Arizona, Texas or some other warm place.

However, for some winter is a wonderland of snow and ice and white vistas. It is time of renewal. A time when life retreats, days are short and you want nothing more than to sit in front of a warm fireplace with a good book until summer comes. Winter forces life to slow down. I have always loved winter; perhaps because I enjoy the outdoors so much. It is hard to describe the beauty of a snowstorm when you are out skiing in the woods and the entire landscape is like something out of a fairy tale. The snowflakes are gently falling and the pine trees are flocked with snow. You turn to see a great grey owl sitting on a branch perhaps watching you ski. Soon you notice a small group of deer simply walking by and ignoring you. A nearby trout stream with its deep blue water is winding its way through the snow covered pines and birch trees. The brilliant blue of the water sparkling against the snow and ice covered banks. The world is white on white with blue and brown contrasts. You notice the water gurgling and the sun beams dancing off the snowflakes. You are in the middle of a diamond like wonderland.

Winter is a time of change. It offers a respite from the hectic pace of summer. During winter, I slow my routines down and I feel like there is more time to do things for myself rather than taking care of the yard, going on vacations, spending time with the relatives, etc. Winter is a time for reconciliation. It is a time for quiet solitude and reflection. Winter is when we can be reborn. What do you think of winter? Is it just a time you hope is over very quickly? Is it a time you look forward to? What could you do to make your winters more worthwhile and interesting? What activities would help make winter more exciting for you? Where could you go to renew yourself this winter? What hurts and fences might you find the time to mend? Can you make this winter a time of “Content.”