Aging Capriciously

If you want to manage your life well, the first plan you must have is a financial plan. A financial plan will help to insure that you have the money to spend when you have the time to spend it. There is no sense having a lot of extra time if you do not have the money to go anywhere or do anything. Although staying at home can be relaxing and fun, we need to have the choice of doing nothing or something. Money gives us this choice. A financial plan should have both present and projected expenses and it should be as detailed as possible.

You can start your financial plan with using a software program like Money or you can simply use an Excel spreadsheet. In one column, list all your monthly debts, for instance, Visa or insurance or mortgage. In the columns across the top, you should put each month from the time you start your plan. Your bills will be very similar from month to month but you can list your monthly bills and expenses for the next 12 months by cutting and pasting from the first month you start your plan. If you know of any differences that are coming up, you can place these figures in the appropriate box. Fill the boxes for the next upcoming month with any fixed or essential expenses. You can then use another page to set up a “forecast” for projected expenses that are desirable but not essential. For instance, I want to buy a new pair of roller blades. I will put the item in the left hand column and then under a future month, I will budget the item in. You can use this second page for items like clothes, vacations, concerts etc. By having both sheets you can see first what you must pay and then second what you would like to buy.

Whenever, you have left over income, or need to prioritize you will have your priorities and needs already mapped out. I also add a third spreadsheet where I track large recurring debts such as home equity loans or credit card loans. This third spreadsheet helps me track my monthly payments on these debts and how much I have left to pay on each debt. Well, does this sound simple? It is! But the benefits are huge. You will take charge of your life and your finances. You will know where your money is going. You will be able to prioritize and spend your money on the things that are most important and eventually you will be debt free and have few financial worries. It really works. Have you started yet? Why not? What is holding you back?

What is a plan? I call a plan “organized time.” What is your definition? If my time is not organized and managed, then nothing happens. I believe we all need 5 plans in our lives. These five plans will help you to organize and manage your time to achieve the results and goals that can help make you be more successful, healthy and happy. Although this series of reflections was not going to be a “time management book”, I did feel that there were some key time management tasks and activities that I had learned over the years that I want to share with you.

As I sit here, I am relatively fit, happy, prosperous (but not rich) and lead a very comfortable life. I don’t do drugs and am not on any medication. I am over sixty now and feel as good as I did when I was 40 years of age. Not only do I feel as good, but I am much more satisfied with life and much happier with my life. What do I attribute this to? Most importantly, these five plans that I am going to share with you! In fact, I believe I could have been happier and even more prosperous and successful at an earlier age if I had known about and practiced these plans in my youth.

What is the purpose of planning? It is simply to help prioritize our time so that we get the important tasks done and leave the unimportant and intrusive tasks out of our lives. You do not have to be a genius to plan. You do not need any special skills. The biggest skill you need is simply commitment. You need to commit to a series of goals and objectives and measure your results. Only by measuring and monitoring your results can you see if your plans on working.

Planning needs to be realistic but not necessarily ambitious. Contrary to many experts, you do not need to “shoot for the moon.” In my plans for health, I simply set up a maintenance schedule to “maintain” the level of health I have. I am not interested in breaking my “personal best” time or running a marathon tomorrow I want to maintain an adequate level of health to do the things I enjoy and not spend my time in the hospital or in bed. I do not set goals to be the next Olympic gold medal winner.

Tomorrow, we will talk about the first of my five essential plans. Are you ready to start planning? Can you make a commitment to plan? Remember, some days you will honor that commitment and other days you will fail. That is quite normal. My goals are to simply keep starting over again whenever I fall off the wagon. Find a pencil and paper or a note pad and keep it handy. I like to use a calendar with open spaces to write my daily efforts in. I also use an Excel spread sheet to track my calories and weight. An accountant’s ledger pad would work just as well. These tools simply help to focus our activities and to act as a reminder each day for us.

What does it mean to be behind the times? Have you ever heard this phrase applied to someone? It usually means that we think someone is not up to date or that they lack current awareness of “the times.” But what times does this refer to? For instance, if I refuse to use a computer to send emails to people, would it mean I was behind the times? What about people who like antiques or who still like to buy things they can fix? Are such people behind the times? What if you do not like modern music? What if you have some old clothes that you still like to wear that are no longer fashionable? Are you behind the times if you resist the newest trends and fads?

If you are in step with the times, does this mean you can use the newest technology and that you are up to date with the newest TV shows, pop music and/or fashions? What are the cultural elements of this statement? Can you be behind the times in the US and perhaps in step with the times if you move to another country? Is someone who lives in a less fashion forward area going to be behind the times if they move to NYC or Paris? And what if one is behind the times, can they ever catch up to the times? Are people who are “behind” the times, those who are making a choice or do they simply lack the motivation? Who decides who is behind and who is ahead?

Wouldn’t it be interesting if there was a website that had some type of index or rating which would allow you to see if you were ahead of the times or how far behind the times you were? How far behind can one get? Where do you think you are right now? Are you behind or ahead of the times? Do you think your friends or family or children would agree with you? Why not?

Have you ever thought of having a “day of patience?” What does patience have to do with time though? Well, according to one definition of patience, it is “a good-natured tolerance of delay.” Delay is when time accrues that we were not expecting such as when a plane is delayed or a birth is delayed. Delays can be a major source of stress, unless of course you are a “patient” person. The penalties for lacking patience can be severe.

We have all seen how instances of “road rage” can turn into sudden tragedies that can ruin lives. A lack of patience can be the source of severe stress and/or depression. Studies show that over ten percent of unemployed people suffer from depression. How much depression occurs because we want things right now and these things we want may take a great deal of time to accrue? If you are looking for a job, it might seem like forever with the countless phone calls, letters and interviews. Patience counsels us that it is just a matter of time, but we are not trained to wait for things to happen. We all want things today. We may recite the aphorism that “Rome was not built in a day” but we still try to build it in a day.

It is ironic that people who live in a chronically stressed-out condition are more likely to take up smoking and overeating, and are far less likely to exercise. Indirectly both of these are major contributors to a wide range of diseases and illnesses. It still remains to be shown how or to what extent stress may contribute to heart disease but it has been shown that stress contributes to factors that lower our resistance to good health and increases our risk of illness. For a good deal of information on stress and how to cope with it, go to the following website: http://stress.about.com/

How we think about the delays in our life can contribute to our health and longevity by lowering our stress and easing the burden on our hearts. How do you react to delays? Do you regard them as “opportunities” or as “time wasters?” Do you jump the gun at red lights and always run the yellow lights? Can you hardly keep from honking at the slow driver in front of you? Do the long lines and people taking more time at the registers cause you to do a slow burn? Carefully note the delays in your day today and watch how you react to them. Give yourself a star each time you are patient and an X whenever you are impatient. See how many of each you have at the end of the day.

What do you have time for today? They say we can tell what a person values by where they spend their time and what they spend their money on. A church leader I heard speak once said that people will often exaggerate what they do for others or what they really value. He went on to say that a true and accurate picture of their values could be gleaned from their daily calendar and their check books. Where they spent their time and what they spent their money on would truly show you what their values were. This would be an interesting activity.

For many of us, the things we say that we value would not line up with the time and money we spend. What about you? Have you ever taken the time to look at what you spend your time on and where the bulk of your money goes? What would such an examination of your calendar and checkbook say about your values? Would you be consistent with the values that you have expoused to your family and friends? Are you spending time on the right things and the right people? If not, why? What stops you from being more congruent with your espoused values? What would it take for you to have a better match with those things you say you value and how you really want to live your life?

“Wasted time is on my mind” – Song lyrics from the album “Wasted Time” by Black Dawn. Wasted time encompasses many things we do in a day. We can waste time by doing the wrong thing or spending time with the wrong people. We can waste time on the wrong goals. Increasingly it seems important to make the best use of our time. We all seem to have problems with having enough time so the time we do have becomes more precious. As we get older, we realize the value of time in all we do. We say we cannot afford to waste time, but inevitably we seem to have those days. Sometimes an entire day can feel wasted if we do not accomplish anything. Nevertheless, life is a series of unending cycles. Some days we waste more time than others, some days we will be more productive than others.

We are not machines that can reduce waste each day by small increments and get better and better until we achieve zero defects. As human beings, we will always be “defective.” That is part of the human condition. We will make mistakes, waste time and have days when we seem to be going backward rather than forward. The difference between the winners and the losers is what they do about those days. The winner learns from his/her mistakes and starts over. The loser gives up and simply quits. Wasted time is one of those migraines on the road to success. It is an obstacle to be overcome time and time again. It will never go away but we can get better at battling wasted time.

How often do you think about wasted time? What is wasted time? Wasted time for one person might be the most valuable time in the world for another person. What do you think is “wasted” time in your life? How much of wasted time fills your day? Why? What could you do instead of “wasting” time? What are the most productive uses of your time and the least productive? Can you let go of the least productive?

Well today my spouse reminded me that time does not always have to be serious. We need time to do nothing, time for fun and time when we are not thinking about time. Relaxation is a very important part of life. Studies show that people who are more relaxed and less stressed live longer. Many of these studies show people who are wealthier and more successful live longer and are also less stressed..

The richer lived longer, and the richer they were, the longer they lived. But more importantly was the relative wealth or success that the rich were enjoying. In the United States, while rich states have twice the wealth as others, they don’t have better health overall. But within each state, the richest people seem to live longer than the poorest. In other words, relative economic rank is what matters in determining how long we live. (Dan Sewell Ward, 2003, The Library of Alexandria, http://www.halexandria.org/dward081.htm)

The rich live longer because it is less stressful to be successful than unsuccessful. How often do we see that someone has committed suicide because they “feel like a failure?” You do not often hear of people killing themselves when they have just succeeded at some difficult task. Stress has also been shown to lower white blood cell counts and lead to lower immunity and greater susceptibility to a wide range of illnesses.

Chronic stress is a causative factor of diseases of the cardiovascular system, including hypertension, stroke and heart disease; a compromised immune system which can lead to infections, allergies or even cancer; and gastrointestinal conditions such as ulcers and irritable bowel syndrome. (Health Topics, http://www.50plushealth.co.uk/index.cfm?articleid=428 ).

Relaxation can reduce stress by substituting play and fun for worries and pessimism. When we relax our body recharges and we develop renewed resources for coping with life. Each of us only has a finite amount of coping energy. When we drop below a certain level, we experience increased stress and an increased inability to cope with the daily traumas of life. We need to recharge our psychic batteries or we will experience a meltdown.

So let’s make today a time for fun. What can you do for yourself that will be fun? No matter how busy you are today, try to find at least one thing that will be your treat for being so productive on all those other days. Do you regularly treat yourself to a day of fun? How often each day do you build some fun into your day? Do you think you are Superman or Superwoman? Do you want to live longer and happier? When will you start relaxing more?

Do you remember the song “Never on a Sunday?” Do you know what you could “Never do on a Sunday?” Do you know why you could “Never do it on a Sunday?” In the song, “Never On a Sunday”, you could not kiss the heroine, because it was her “day of rest.” For thousands of years, Sunday has represented a day of rest. Whether it actually has been a day of rest is a different issue.

When I was a small child, Sundays represented going to visit relatives and having friends stop over after church to visit. Sundays have always seemed more peaceful to me and as a day to catch up and really rest from the toils of the week. I still like to visit people on a Sunday although this has become more difficult due to the busy schedule everyone has. It does not seem that people take much time anymore visiting each other on Sundays. Sunday has more become for me a time to visit older relatives in nursing homes now. Many people simply use it to work in their gardens, fix their homes up, get some extra work done or do school work.

What do Sundays represent for you? Are Sundays a day of rest for you? A time of prayer and reflection? A time to catch up on work that you did not have time for during the week? What do you “Never do on a Sunday?” What do you spend your time doing on Sundays? What would you really like to do this Sunday? What stops you from doing it? Go ahead and do it anyway.

“Pleasure comes, but not to stay; even this shall pass away.” (All Things shall pass away. John Bartlett (1820–1905). We have all heard that life is a series of ups and downs. Without pain, we do not know pleasure. The states we find ourselves in each day may vary as much as the weather. One day I am energetic and happy, the next day I am depressed and lethargic. Moods wax and wane like the tides. How can I be happy each day?

If we were spirits rather than temporal beings it might be possible to remain constant and unchanging. However, the nature of being temporal means that we will forever experience cycles in our life: cycles of happiness, cycles of pain, cycles of birth, cycles of death and cycles of aging. Nothing is permanent in this world. This is the meaning of temporality. Should I be sad or angry at the thought that whatever I have today could be swept away tomorrow? And if not tomorrow, then someday for sure! All temporal things will perish.

How attached are you to the things in life? Are you prepared to accept that all things are very transient and impermanent? Are your Prada purses and Gucci jeans vain attempts to gain some type of immortality? What vanities do you have that you try to hold onto? What things have the most meaning to you? Do you stop to acknowledge the people and things that really count in your life? Do you realize that they could all be swept away tomorrow? Are you valuing the people, loved ones and friends that really matter by spending your time on them? Do you value your soul as much as your clothes?

“If we cannot do everything at once, let us do one at a time.” – Thomas Jefferson. For some of us, starting anything is an overwhelming task. We are bogged down by the complexity of the project and do not know where to start. We fail to remember that all great journeys start with the first step. How many times have you heard that phrase? By now you are probably sick of it! However, if it fails to inspire you, then what will? Rome was not built in a day! A stitch in time saves nine! Haste makes waste! All of these aphorisms are just little tricks to help us remember that we can’t do it all at once. Anything worth doing takes time may be another cliché but it is also an iron law of the universe.

Tiger Woods practices more than 10 hours each day. Wayne Gretsky, Jean Claude Killy, Valentino Rossi and many other great world champions all started when they were less than five years old. If you link genetics, an early start and much time spent in practice, you have a formula for success. Wal-Mart started in 1954 in Bentonville, Arkansas, a town most of us have never heard of. In 1985, I had never even been to or heard of a Wal-Mart. By 2005, it was the largest corporation in the world – an overnight success? All too many people look for luck to make their day. They hope to win the lottery, strike it big at the local casino or score on some big class action lawsuit. Waiting for luck is the greatest waste of time I can think of. We make our own luck.

Were Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, two of the richest people in the world lucky? Did they get their money by winning a lottery?? If you want to get lucky, start by putting one foot forward and then following it with the other. Luck is where preparation meets opportunity. If you want to have a great life and a great adventure, start now. What is one thing that you can do today that will start you on that great journey? Pick one thing today that and do it. What is the next step that you can take on your great adventure?