Why Wasn’t Karen and I Invited?

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Lauren Sánchez had everyone at the White House seeing red!  The journalist and philanthropist, 54, wore a revealing crimson corset dress to the White House state dinner on Wednesday, April 10.  She and fiancé Jeff Bezos, 60, were among the many luminaries invited to the black-tie event honoring Japan’s Prime Minister Fumio Kishida and his wife, Yuko.

Sánchez’s off-the-shoulder gown featured intricate lace detail, corset-like boning and a floor-length skirt.  She complemented the look with metallic open-toe heels.

Her dress was by far the most racy look of the dinner, which is typically a very formal, buttoned-up affair.  President Biden and Dr. Jill Biden served as hosts.

The above description is from a People magazine article concerning a White House state dinner on Wednesday, April 10.  Once again, Karen and I were very disappointed that we were NOT INVITED.  I am having my personal secretary and Chief of Staff send the following letter to President Biden.

Dear President Biden,

Over the past 20 years, Karen and I have both voted for Clinton, Obama, Hillary, and you.  We have knocked on doors, manned phone banks, passed out flyers and put-up lawn signs for you as well as your Democratic predecessors.  In addition, Karen and I have sent as much money as we could afford to support your Democratic campaigns.  I realize we are small potatoes compared to Jeff Bezos and other “luminaries”, but we do have one trait that most of these “luminaires” do not have.  We don’t varnish or adorn the obvious with bullshit and obfuscations.   We tell it like it is.  Let me give you a few examples.  Regarding this news piece about Bezos and Sanchez which was in People magazine.  We would have phrased things quite a bit differently.  Starting at the beginning:

“Everyone was seeing red!”  More like everyone could not take their eyes off of Sanchez’s breasts.

“Revealing”  More of her boobs were out in public than were below the gown.

“Luminaries”  Chat GPT defines luminaries as:  A person who is prominent or has achieved something brilliant, such as a celebrity in sports, politics, science, or the arts.  What has Sanchez or even Bezos done that is so “Brilliant.”  Is making money the sine qua non of brilliance these days or is having a nice set of boobs “Brilliant.”  It appears so.

“Corset Like Boning”  We would not want the fabric to come out of shape for Ms. Sanchez.  After all who likes floppy looking breasts.

“Racy”  Sexy.  Erotic.  Designed to make men drool.  Do you think Bezos approved of the dress before she wore it?  Do you think he wanted Biden to drool?

“Typically”  Evidently, Bezos and Sanchez did not want to be typical.  Typical is like being average and when you have as much money as they do, you can afford not to be average.  Maybe the Chief of Staff for Presidential state dinners should have a dress code?  Here are my suggestions:

  1. No tight spandex skirts well above the knees
  2. No tops where more than 2/3s of a breast is shown
  3. No yoga or pajama pants
  4. No muscle shirts for men
  5. No cod pieces for men
  6. No tight shorts for men

Unfortunately, if such a dress code exists, it was not enforced.  Now if Karen and I had been invited, there would not have been any problem.  Karen and I are more typical than typical.  She never ever wears anything RACY, and I do not own any muscle shirts.  In fact, I am not sure that I have any muscles anymore.  Karen could use some sort of boning device, but I am certain that she does not own one at the moment.  We are just very typical non-luminous people.  Sometimes we do shine for a brief moment or two, but it usually does not last.

In conclusion President Biden,  I wish you luck on your upcoming election.  However, unless I get a ticket to your inauguration in advance, I am opting out of sending you any money.  Karen and I both agree that we can spend the money going to our own party where we can be the CENTER of attention and invite our own coterie of luminaries.

Your Former Supporter,

John Persico Jr.

Our Tree of Memories

IMG_20231210_214616709Every year since Karen and I were married we have put up a Christmas Tree.  Putting up a tree was once something I hated almost as much as I hated the entire Christmas event.  I would be more than happy to forget that Christmas ever existed.  I made my first wife miserable with my incessant complaints about Christmas and made a promise to myself not to let my hatred of Christmas get in the way of Karen’s love for the holiday.  So very dutifully I unload the tree and boxes of ornaments, put on some Christmas songs, and help Karen decorate our tree. 

Yesterday, we went to a friends open house to view her decorations.  She has absolutely the most gorgeous holiday decorations I have ever seen.  It takes her months to decorate most of the rooms in her home and I truly marvel at her energy and the organizational skills it would take to put all her decorations up, take them down, store them and then find them again the following year.  In one room, she had a very large beautifully decorated Christmas tree.  You would not find a lovelier tree in either Macy’s or Gimbels 😊.

After returning home, I sat down in our living room a few feet from our own tree.  I asked Karen what she thought of our friends tree, and she remarked how gorgeous it was.  In comparison, I thought our tree looked a little more puny and nowhere near as stylish.  I replied to Karen, “Yes, her tree was prettier than ours, but I like ours better.”  Karen agreed.  I then thought, if her tree was more beautiful, then why would I prefer ours?  I wondered if I was just being defensive.  I asked myself this question and I realized it was not defensiveness.  Our tree would not turn any designers heads but for me the beauty was in all the memories that were on our tree.  Almost every ornament has some memory attached.  I told Karen, “Think of all the memories we have on our tree.  I am going to write a blog about it.”

My blog strategy was to pick out several ornaments from among the hundreds on our tree and to share with you some of our memories in terms of what they mean to us.  Since the memories are both Karen’s and mine, I asked Karen to help pick some decorations that were special to her and to share her memories of them.  Karen inherited a few of the decorations from her parents and some she acquired before we were married.  Several of the decorations actually go back to before either Karen or I were born.  I will include pictures of our tree and each ornament as we both take turns describing our memories.  The ornaments selected are simply in random order.  

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I bought this ornament after my first wife and I were divorced.  It is the first ornament I ever remember buying.  Not sure what drew me to it, but I really loved it.  Maybe it was the woman that I wanted to marry.  After Karen and I were married, we hung it on the tree that we put up on our first Christmas living together. 

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I have an adopted Korean daughter, Susan.  I bought this at a summer Korean camp.  Susan went to Korean day camp as a child, but later began teaching at Korean day camp while her sons attended camp. The little bear is wearing the traditional Korean female dress called called the Hanbok.  It is a distinctive clothing item that is unique to Korea.  I wanted Susan to have knowledge of her birth country, and eventually she found her birth mom, visits Korea and keeps in regular contact with her.  

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I spent my high school years in Johnston, RI.  If you have ever been to Rhode Island, you will know the significance of this cup.  Dunkin Donuts permitted generations of young Italians like me to start “dunkin” their donuts.  My sister lives in Rhode Island and a highlight of our visits there used to be a trip to a Dunkin Donuts store.  From a small local chain, they are now a national chain.  I never really thought their coffee was that good.  Karen likes expresso coffee and Dunkin Donuts was not known for their expresso.  

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In 2020, after our Russia trip was cancelled due to Covid restrictions, we replanned a trip to Spain.  We went to Spain in 2021 and stayed just outside Barcelona in a town called Cervello.  Barcelona is one of the most beautiful cities we have ever visited.  Perhaps the most extraordinary building in the city is the La Sagrada Familia.  It was designed and built by the architect Antoni Gaudí.  This ornament is a design by Gaudi that shall always remind us of the La Sagrada Familia. 
 
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How to Lose Weight Without Even Trying!

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I wrote this blog five years ago.  It seems a good one to help you start the New Year off right.  I know lots of us will want to shed those pounds that we put on during the holiday season.  This NEED and DESIRE makes us easy pickings for all of the “diet programs” that promise us how little effort it will be too lose weight if we only buy their book and follow their rules.  I start off this blog with two rules of my own.  I have updated most of the health data in this blog for 2023 but I have no doubt that the data would be the same or even more depressing if you looked it up today and compared it to ten years ago.  So lets get to it so you can find out how to “How to  Lose Weight Without Even Trying!”

There are two rules of wisdom that I think most of us believe in.  They are:

  1. If it is too good to be true, it probably isn’t
  2. There are no free lunches

I have found the above precepts to be good guideposts for my life.  They are so often noted that we begin to take them for granted.  It could be argued that perhaps they are not true in every situation, but I believe that they are more often true than not true.  This brings us to the issue of diet programs.  Consider the following statistics:

  • An estimated 45 million Americans go on a diet each year. (BMC)
  • Americans spend $33 billion each year on weight-loss products. (BMC)
  • A higher percentage of women (56.4%) than men (41.7%) have tried to lose weight. (CDC, 2018)
  • Nearly half of adults (49.1%) attempted to lose weight within the last year. (CDC, 2018)
  • Obesity is more common among lower-income individuals, those with less education, and some ethnic/racial minorities. (Wiley, 2009)
  • 82% of respondents considered that weight loss was completely their own responsibility, while only 5% did not agree. (Wiley, 2017( Fitness for Weight Loss)

(Statistics are from Weight Loss Statistics and Health Benefits for 2023)

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If I go to Amazon.com and type in “diet books”, I find that there are 184,291 books available to sell me on a strategy for losing weight.  There were 424 “Diet Best Sellers” in 2016 and 209 “Best Sellers” published already in 2017.  These are only the “Best Sellers.”  There were a total of 39,673 diet books listed as published in 2016.  Many if not most diet books do not make the “Best Seller” lists.  In terms of magazines dealing with diets and weight loss, there are over a dozen magazines that you can buy each week at your local grocery store (that you will find stocked right next to the chocolates) that will tell you how to lose weight “without even trying.”

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However, the above statistics are only the tip of the proverbial iceberg.  If I go to Google and type in the words “diet strategies”, I find that there are over 75,000 listings concerning various diets, stratagems, plans, tips, secrets, etc., that will show you how to lose weight “without even trying.”

Here are some typical headlines that you will find as you peruse any of the above information that is offered for those of us that need to lose weight “without even trying”:

  • The Harcombe Diet 3-Step Plan: Lose 7 lbs. in 5 days and end food cravings forever
  • 1200 Calorie Diet Menu – 7 Day Lose 20 Pounds Weight Loss Meal Plan
  • Win at Slim: New Secrets to Lasting Weight Loss
  • Outsmart Your Cravings: Sweet, Salty, Crunchy
  • How I Lost 42 lbs.
  • Eat, Drink, Shrink: No Diet Ways to Fight Holiday Gain
  • No More Guilt: Stop Dwelling, Start Enjoying

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The beauty of all these weight loss schemes is that you can lose weight “without (you guessed it) even trying.”  Any half-way intelligent person would regard these titles and by applying either of the two rules noted earlier decide that they were pure bunko.  Lose weight without trying!  End food cravings forever!  Lose 7 lbs. in 5 days!  No sane person would believe any of this BS.  Nevertheless, the diet magazines, diet plans and diet books sell like crazy.  Every year a plethora of new diet strategies replace last year’s models.  Why do people continue taking the bait when they know that it is a sucker’s game?  The simple answer is that when it comes to looking like Margot Robbie, Jessica Alba, Dwayne Johnson or any of the Kardashians, all brain power and rational thinking goes down the drains.  Everyone in America wants to be thin and beautiful or have six pack abs “without even trying.”

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Every new diet strategy renews hope for the downtrodden and overweight oppressed masses.  Every new diet plan offers the possibility that beauty and slimness might be had before Christmas or at least before our next birthday.  Every new weight loss scheme provides the potential to become the person that we dream of being.  Hope springs not just eternal in the human breast, but perpetually, irrationally and beyond all measures of logic or intellect:  To hell with “no free lunches!”  To hell with “it probably is not true!”

If even the remotest opportunity exists that I can lose weight “without even trying”, I will take the bait like a mouse eats peanut butter or a cat eats catnip or a bear eats donuts.  “Dam the torpedoes, full speed ahead.”  Who cares about logic?  Who cares that no evidence exists to back many of these claims up?

before and after maleSo now we come to the real issue.  You wanted to know if there actually might be a method for losing weight “without even trying.”  My answer is YES!  But there is even better news.  I will send you the secret strategy for my quick weight loss “Without Even Trying” plan that I have developed for only $9.95 plus postage and handling.  I will give you a money back guarantee that in six weeks or less, you will lose twenty pounds “without even trying” or I will send you a full refund.  This offer is good for only thirty days after you read this blog and it will then expire.  The following stipulations also apply:

  • You must reside on a lake
  • You must be over 99 years of age
  • You must have been born in Last Chance, New Mexico
  • You must be at least 100 lbs. overweight at the start of this offer
  • You must believe everything you read or hear

Time for Questions:

Do you need to lose weight?  Have you been trying to lose weight?  How successful have your efforts been?  What has worked for you?  What did not work for you?  What would you like to change in your diet?

Life is just beginning.

“I believe that parents need to make nutrition education a priority in their home environment. It’s crucial for good health and longevity to instill in your children sound eating habits from an early age.” — Cat Cora