Aging Capriciously

This is the story of Samson and Delilah.  It is a story of passion, romance, jealousy, intrigue, narcissism and maybe even murder.  Our story takes place in Brooklyn, New York.  The date is 2017.

Samson was the strongest most well-built man on the block.  He had muscles chiseled in stone.  His muscles had muscles.  He stood 6 feet 4 inches tall and did not have an ounce of fat on him.   Samson worked out seven days a week, twice each day at the Philistine Gym on Gibeon Street.  He worked out before he went to work each morning and after work for two hours each evening.

Samson was easily the most powerful man in the gym.  Everybody admired Samson, but not quite as much as Samson admired himself.  It was said that he could not pass a mirror without flexing his muscles and taking a few moments to pose in various bodybuilding stances.

Delilah lived in the same neighborhood as Samson.  All of her neighbors agreed that she was the most beautiful woman they had ever seen.  She was tall with long blond hair and a perfectly proportioned figure.  Men could not help stopping in their tracks to stare when she walked by.  She looked like an angel.  She was so beautiful that many local artists would try to paint her from memory.

Delilah also went to the same gym as Samson.  All the guys in the gym would flex their biceps or triceps an extra amount each time that Delilah came near them.  All except Samson.  He seldom even noticed Delilah.  Delilah knew the effect that she had on men but she could care less. The only man that she was interested in was Samson.  Perhaps it was the old story about wanting something more because you can’t have it.  Delilah had only one other person she admired, herself.  Much like Sampson, she could not pass by a mirror without staring at her reflection and thinking “how beautiful I am.”

Samson wanted to show the world that he was the strongest man who ever lived.  To achieve this goal, he decided to attend the World Weightlifting Championship taking place in Brooklyn the year of our story.  He could already dead lift 1000 pounds and he was determined he would lift 1200 pounds to shatter the then current world record of 1102.3 pounds.

Now Samson was a tad superstitious.  Because he was lifting more each year and had never cut his hair, he believed that his strength grew proportionately along with the length of his hair.  He had let his hair grow for over ten years and his braid was now down almost to his waist.  He was certain that his strength was a result of his long hair.

Delilah grew more and more desperate in her attempts to get Samson to notice her.   Finally, she hit on the idea to simply approach Samson and remark on his wonderful hair.  So, one day while he was practicing his dead lifts, she sauntered by and casually remarked on how beautiful his hair was.  She proceeded to compliment him on his marvelous muscle definition.  She followed up these compliments with the suggestion that they go back to her place after working out and she would cook him a nice microwave dinner and brush his hair.  This idea delighted Samson and after working out, they both went to Delilah’s house.

As you would guess, human nature being what it was, dinner turned into desert, desert turned into a night cap and a night cap woke up with breakfast.  After that evening, Delilah and Samson were a twosome.  Both loved each other with a passion only matched by their mutual admiration for themselves.  It was a question of whom or which they loved more.

Well, as you may know, narcissists have a short attention span for anything but themselves.  Samson was the first to break the implicit arrangement that seemed to characterize their relationship.  Thus, one evening, Delilah knocked on Samson’s door and much to her surprise another woman in a skimpy negligee answered.  Delilah was shocked but more than shocked she was furious.  She swore revenge on Samson.

Weeks went by, Samson ignored Delilah at the gym and Delilah ignored Sampson.  However, all this time Delilah was plotting her revenge.  She well knew that the big weightlifting event was coming up and she also knew that Samson was superstitious about his hair and strength.  This latter fact was the pillar of her idea for revenge.

Delilah waited until the night before the World Weightlifting championship.  At around midnight, she used the key that Samson hid near his door to let herself into Samson’s apartment.  Moving as stealthily as a cat, she entered Samson’s bedroom.  Samson was a sound sleeper and he had no inclination of what awaited him.  Delilah took the surgical scalpel that she had borrowed from a medical admirer and in one quick slash, she lopped off Samson’s braid.  Samson was totally unaware and did not move a muscle.  Delilah slipped back out the way she had come and placed Samson’s key back where he hid it.

The next morning Samson woke and went to the bathroom to get ready for the big event.  Imagine his surprise and chagrin when we looked in the mirror and found that most of his hair was gone.  Samson was devastated.  He immediately knew that Delilah had taken her revenge.  But it was now too late.  There was no way that he could dead lift without his hair.  His thoughts ran to the best way to get even with Delilah and whether or not her murder would constitute justifiable homicide.

Samson decided to go to the championship event anyway.  Perhaps, even without his long hair, he would still have a chance.  Sadly, he could not even dead lift 800 pounds.  This was the minimum weight needed to qualify for the competitive championship rounds.  The mighty Samson was only a shell of his old self.  Everyone who knew him wondered what had happened to the once proud and haughty Samson.  Was this God’s way of punishing the narcissistic among us?

History shows that Samson never broke another record and his name was gradually erased from the rolls of major body builders and weight lifters at the Philistine gym.

But, what of Delilah?  Would you like to know how she got her just rewards?  You see every moral or fable must have a denouement.   The good guy triumphs over the bad guy.  The two lovers marry and live happily ever after.  The struggling athlete scores the final points to win the big game.  The starving painter is eventually recognized for her creative genius.  The hero slays the dragon and wins the fair maid.

Unfortunately, neither Delilah’s neighbors or the historians at the Philistine gym have any further records for Delilah.  It is like she vanished into thin air immediately after the big weight lifting event.  There are those who suspect that foul play may have played a role in her mysterious departure.  Many others say she got fat, lost her looks, married a computer geek and is living in Poughkeepsie.

Time for Questions:

What was the source of Samson’s power?  Was it really his hair?  What makes anyone powerful?  What role does belief have in our powers?  Can you really accomplish anything without believing in yourself?  What happens when you stop believing in yourself?

Life is just beginning.

“…it occurred to me that maybe Samson’s hair wasn’t the source of his strength; maybe it was the symbol of his strength. And maybe when Delilah cut off his hair, he didn’t lose his power because he lost his hair; he just woke up the next morning and looked in the mirror, and suddenly for the life of him couldn’t remember who he was.”  — Sarah Thebarge