Going to see our financial adviser at Edmund Jones today to setup some type of account to cover burial costs. This was Karen’s idea and I reluctantly agreed. You might think it was my idea, but it was not. Next Thursday we are finally going to have a will made up. This was also something that Karen wanted, and I have dragged my feet on for years. Funny, how many people have tried to convince me that I will live longer than 3645 days. Try telling people that you know how long you will live and see what they say. Are we dealing here with optimism or denial? I wonder what they will all say when I pass? What do you think they will say about you when you pass? Think of five things you are sure they will say. I dare you. It is not easy.
Woke up this morning to snow and not sunshine. Will go out for a run as soon as my motivation level rises. I am doing a two on, one off, running schedule. Run two days, take a break. Today is my second day, tomorrow I take a break. Over the years, I have run a variety of schedules: two-one, three-one, one on, one off. It does not really seem to matter much what schedule I run on; I generally end up running about 60 percent of the days in a given month. I try to average about thirty minutes per run. Some months I average 40 minutes or more and other months, I average about 25 or so. I call it a maintenance schedule rather than a goal driven schedule. I simply want to maintain my present level of fitness as long as possible. I am not going to win any Olympic gold medals, so why train as though I am a peak athlete. I did take two first places in 5k’s last year. Only because I was the only one in the 70-year-old age group in one. The other one was more legitimate since I did have some competition.
Woke up this morning, thinking about change. Sometimes we accept the possibility of change and other times we reject it. Seems to me that sometimes we accept the possibility when it is only wishful thinking. Such as some thinking that Donald Trump was going to be a good president and that he was only kidding about things he would do when he was running. In this case, I use the metaphor that the leopard does not change its spots. In other cases, we believe that change is possible, and it seems to me that in some of these cases it is hopeful thinking. We hope that someone can see the error of their ways or that they will wake up and realize that their life is going in the wrong direction. Such thinking may be realistic as people can and do change. Is there a difference between wishful thinking and hopeful thinking? I think there is.
I think something must happen for people to change. Something precipitates change in people. Maybe I am wrong, but without some causal factors, I do not think people are going to change. My sister has been hoping for many years that someday her husband would retire, and they could take more vacations or travel more together. I just talked to her yesterday and she now seems on the verge of accepting that this wonderful dream is not going to happen. I have thought for years that she was denying reality, but she kept right on being hopeful. He has recently taken another full-time job at the age of 68 and seems to have no desire to travel or pack his suitcase to see the world. I think my sister is going to have to wake up and smell the roses all by herself or find some friends to travel with. That is reality and all the hoping in the world is not going to change it.
So, when to hold them and when to fold them is still the big question for many of us in life or as they say in AA:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Aging Capriciously 