As they walked into the large conference room, they saw the alien standing in the middle of the room. It was about seven feet tall and about 3 feet in diameter. The alien had what looked like four branches coming off a main trunk and four branches upon which the main trunk was balancing. The bottom branches were probably legs and the top branches were waving in the air and might have been arms. No head was apparent on the alien and it was impossible to tell if it had any particular gender.
The color of its trunk was somewhere between blue and green as its hues ebbed and flowed. One minute it looked blue and the next minute it looked green. The most striking feature of all was in the middle of its trunk about five feet above the floor. It had a large round eye about 9 inches in diameter. There was no mistaking it as an eye since it included a large red pupil, a green cornea, and a yellow sclera. The pupil was about two inches wide and the cornea was about four inches wide. The eye seemed to follow every movement in the room and when you looked at it, the alien seemed to be able to look right through you as though it was reading your mind.
I was surrounded by news reporters, army officers, soldiers with guns at rest and what were obviously many government officials. This was what the human race had been waiting for. An alien had been captured and was going to speak to the world. I had been brought to this well guarded room in Washington D.C. after I had agreed to speak about my purpose in visiting a planet they called Earth. The major tv networks had all been alerted and were on deck to broadcast whatever the I had to say to the entire world. News reports said over two billion people had found some way to listen to my talk.
I calmly surveyed the inhabitants of this room who were only a small part of the inhabitants of this planet. I had been surveying them for 100,000 years but they were not aware of this fact. They soon would be. I looked out over the gathering with some amusement. Shichak is the name that I chose to use with these humans. They would never have been able to pronounce my real name. But my name is unimportant. What is important is what I have to say to the inhabitants of Earth. At my other visits to Earth, I always observed for some weeks than returned to my home planet. This time I did not fly away. My captors did not realize it, but I came to this room entirely voluntarily. I could have destroyed all of them and a great deal of their planet with a single twist of my antenna. I chose to stay until I had delivered my message.
My spacecraft which could travel at warp drive speeds between the galaxies had encountered some minor difficulties. I had intended to land briefly and repair the ship. After landing in a remote area of Utah, my ship had been seen by a local paramilitary group which surrounded the space craft. They threatened to open fire with some high-powered projectiles unless I came out of the craft. Years earlier I would have ignored them, but I sensed that the weapons they had could do some serious damage to my ship. I had been seen many times before, but I had quickly opened an invisibility cloak and returned to space. This time would be different. After making my decision, I left the vessel to deliver a message to this species that I was certain would surprise and astound them.
In less than 24 hours, my captors had taken me from the Utah forest to a police station in Monroe, Utah, to a government office in Provo, Utah and to an Army base in Bluffdale, Utah. It was not only my appearance which surprised all who met me but even more surprising to them was the fact that I spoke perfect English. I have the ability to speak the language fluently of any species on the planet Earth or any other planet in the universe.
At each site that I was taken to, I indicated that I would only talk to the President of the United States of America. Finally, I was put under heavy guard and taken in a military cargo plane to Washington D.C. During my trip, I had been passed up the line from privates to colonels to generals to Army secretaries and finally to this room where the President of the United States of America and the rest of the world waited to hear what I had to say.
It was time to speak. The President had arrived with his staff and were seated. I made some bugle like sounds to get everyone’s attention. They were quite surprised but quieted right down.
I spoke, “I did not come to your planet on a mission of peace. Neither did I come on a mission of aggression. I come as an observer. I have been observing you for nearly 100,000 years. I have made many trips to your planet. Several times in the past, my ship has been spotted by your people. One other time, I was forced to land and effect some repairs. My ships have varied in size and shape from ovoid to saucer shaped.”
“I come from a planet my people call Zanist. It is 7,000 light years away in another galaxy. Our planet is over twenty billion years old. Our people refer to themselves as Zanes. As you calculate your lifespan, the average life of a Zane is about 200,000 earth years.”
“The sun that heats our solar system is dying. It has been dying for many years. We developed interstellar travel capabilities nearly a million years ago. When we realized that our planet was doomed, our leaders decided that we should seek out another planet to inhabit. Many scouts were sent out to find a new home for our people. I found your planet over 100,000 years ago. It was perfect for us except for the fact that a new species was quickly evolving, and you were that species. We were not sure whether you would survive. Many other species on your planet have rose up only to disappear in a few centuries.”
“We have what you would call a prime directive. We do not interfere with the development of a sentient species. Many on our planet were not sure that humans were sentient. It was evident from early observations that you were brutal and cruel to other species as well as each other. Nevertheless, our ethics prevented us from interfering with your development.”
“I was selected to monitor your planet in the event that you did not survive or that you annihilated yourselves. This latter possibility seemed the most likely given your aggressive tendencies. I returned after the ice age to find that you had managed to survive. I watched many battles over the years where I thought you might destroy each other: the Three Kingdom Wars, the Mongolian Wars, the European Wars and two World Wars.”
“Finally, with your development of nuclear weapons, we were sure that you would self-annihilate. We were quite surprised when you did not. With my observations on this latest visit, I think it might be close to the end for your species. Your current disasters due to your destruction of your environment, global warming, and climate change will be your death knell. Your planet will survive but your species will probably not. I take no joy in this observation. My role is simply to observe and to report when your planet will be ready for us to occupy.”
“We will be able to fix your planet and return it to its former healthy state. We could tell you how to do this, but it would be a waste of time. It is apparent that you understand what you need to do but you lack the desire or will power to do it.”
“That is all I have to say. I am returning to my planet.”
As I spoke these words, I observed one of the military people talking to several of his subordinates. I could read his mind and see that he was intent on preventing me from leaving. It was his intention to place me in some sort of a cell.
“You have taken my space craft to one of your many military bases. Some of you wish to stop me from leaving. That is impossible. I have no desire to harm any of you. I have already repaired my vessel and it is back in orbit. I will go to my ship. Perhaps you will see me again in the future if you survive. I doubt it. Goodbye.”
“Beam me up Scotty.” A little phrase I learned from my visits to the planet Earth.
The alien’s colors gave off a burst of blinding light forcing all the participants to close their eyes. When the gathering opened their eyes, the alien was gone. A grave like silence blanketed the room. Reporters, government officials, military people and the President of the United States of America were all speechless. The first words that everyone at the gathering heard were, “Does anyone know what’s for lunch?”
Aging Capriciously 