Aging Capriciously

Just for the hell of it, I am going to comment on the historic Biden Putin summit.  Everyone else in the world has given their take on this historic moment in US and Russian history, so why not me?  I can sound as knowledgeable about Biden and Putin as any of the commentators who have commented on this situation.  Think of me as a commentator commenting on the commentators who commented about the historic Biden Putin summit.  I should add that if you have not already noticed, just about every commentator commenting on this summit mentioned it as a “historic” summit.

In case you do not know the definition of historic, it has something to do with something that someone might potentially put into a history book or perhaps something that Hollywood will make a movie out of.  If I were to make a film out of this historic summit, it would go something like this.

Plot:

Two leaders from hostile countries meet to divide up the world or at least agree on who is screwing things up in the world.  The leader from the evil country denies everything while the leader from the great and good and very morale country warns the evil leader of the consequences of not being a better leader.  The good leader is in the blue trunks while the evil leader is in the red trunks.  The match consists of three one-hour rounds with a ten-minute restroom break between rounds. The breaks are to allow commentators to send their commentaries to their offices.

Cast:

Joe Biden:  President of the USA

Vladimir Putin:  Evil Dictator from Russia

Sycophants:  Both countries brought along dozens of elected officials to witness the match

Commentators:  Just about anyone who could buy, forge, or obtain a press pass

Synopsis:

Joe came out of his corner with a quick handshake which threw his opponent for a momentary loss.  Commentators scored it 1-0 for Biden.  Vladimir recovered quickly and met Joe’s handshake with a bone crushing shake of his own.  Joe smiled and they both took their seats.  Commentators gave Joe another point since they like him better.  The score was now 2-0 for Biden.

Numerous subjects were dealt with in the next three hours.  Despite the pre-game name calling by Biden, the opponents settled into a polite routine with no grandstanding or insults.  As expected Biden threw a “dissidents jab” at Putin who responded with a “January 6^th insurgency jab.”  Biden called the comparison ridiculous which most commentators agreed on.  Biden scored another point making it 3-0 for Joe.

Joe threw a right cross nailing Vladimir with warnings about any more hacking.  Vladimir blocked the punch and denied everything.  Commentators were split since Joe did not provide any evidence and Putin seemed so confident that nothing could be pinned on Russian hackers.  Call it 1 for Joe and 1 for Putin.  The score after round 2 was 4-1 in favor of Biden.

Both leaders came out in round three with Putin clearly shaken up and worried about the bad press he was getting from a less than stellar effort.  It was clear that Putin had underestimated Sleepy Joe and had not trained well for this match.  Nevertheless, Putin scored early in round three with some nice comments about his opponent that Joe rolled with.  Commentators gave Putin a point since Joe should have side stepped these compliments instead of accepting them.  Joe was clearly surprised.  The final score after round three was 4-2 in favor of Joe.

Post-Game commentary tended to judge the match a win for Biden due to his early domination of the bout and self-confidence.  However, many commentators had it as a draw since Putin made no concessions and gave nothing away.  There were no major knockdowns and depending on one’s viewpoint nothing was really decided.

Stay tuned for a sequel to this historic match, in which both opponents will meet again for another historic showdown.