How often have you heard the aphorism that “The journey is more important than the destination?” A related wisdom was one that we used in my consulting firm when I was working for Process Management International. I believe we stole it from some of Dr. W. E. Deming’s writings. It was that “The process was more important than the outcome or results.”
Throughout my life I have tried to live by each of these. It is not always easy to follow something that you know is true and that will make your life better and happier. As the saying goes “There is many a slip between the cup and the lip.” Knowing is not necessarily doing. So, let’s look at how we can make our vacations and trips more fun and more meaningful.
“The journey is more important than the destination.” As simple as this sounds, do you know what it means? If we really knew the meaning not just in our heads but in our hearts, it would be difficult to ignore. However, that is what most of us start off doing. We plan a vacation or trip, and we talk more about where we are going than how we are getting there. My father used to measure the success of a vacation by how quickly he could get to our endpoint. He had no time to stop and see any attractions along the way. He tried to avoid even stopping at a motel. Most of the time, he would drive all night and let us sleep in the car along the way. He would brag about how fast he could get someplace. I hated trips with my father. They lacked any semblance of fun.
When I started canoeing, I was obsessed with paddling as fast and as far as I could on each of my trips. A good canoe mentor named Joe Conrad cautioned me that I should stop and smell the roses more often. Once I heeded his advice, my canoeing became more fun. Even along a lazy winding rural river, there are so many sights to see along the way.
I am sure that you have often heard that “I need a vacation from my vacation.” Whenever, I hear this, I think of my first trip to Europe. We rented a car and tried to see every European country (Almost) in a week. A friend of mine warned be about this “American” tendency but I did not heed his advice. It was not until Karen and I returned, burnt out, unhappy, and unsmiling, that the wisdom of his words hit home. I resolved to spend more time in only one country and never try to do the “grand tour” of the world again. Since then, my vacations have been fun and each one of our trips has only gotten better.
Somedays when we are on vacation, we do not go anywhere. We stay in a small apartment in some recently found village or town and cook meals, talk, and take walks around the area. No great jaunts to see any “Seven Wonders of the World.” Most of our trips are not cruises so we have few schedules. We get up when we want to. We go out when we want to. We see what we want to, and we come back when we want to. Often the sights that we see along the way are unscheduled and not in any travel guides. We became friends with a Swiss couple at a soccer match we happened to stop and watch one night. We traveled in China to a mountain where we spent the day climbing with a couple whom we met in China. The next morning all of us watched the sun rise over the mountain tops.
In a little taverna in Naxos, we would sit every evening on the beach and eat fried squid, drink a local liquor, and watch the sunset. We did this every evening for two weeks and never got bored. Our one side trip to Santorini was a waste of a day. We followed the advice that “EVERYONE” gave us when they said, “You must see Santorini!’ We spent two hours in a smelly boat getting there and it was one big tourist trap. As for the beauty of the bay, it was undeniable, but we had the same and many more beautiful sights on our little island.
What are the obstacles to “smelling the roses?” I would list the three major obstacles as follows:
- Missing events in favor of things
- Bragging rights
- Time traps
Missing events:
There are always many sights to see on any trip. Many of these sights are famous and well worth seeing. Many of them can also be very touristy. However, you would not want to go to Paris without seeing the Eiffel Tower or Louvre. But there are also many events that are always happening in small and large towns. Unfortunately, you cannot find most of these events on tourist guides because they are usually local events that may happen yearly or only occasionally. I am thinking of the flea market at Portobello Road where Karen and I spend a day just wondering around looking at the things for sale. I am also thinking of the Tokyo Fish Market when I got up at 5:30 AM to go see the hundreds of fish vendors and how they sell the widest assortment of fresh seafood that I have ever seen in my life. I might forget the Louvre, but I will never forget the Tokyo Fish Market.
Rule 1: Take time to seek out events on a trip.
Bragging rights:
So, who doesn’t want some bragging rights. Yes, I saw the Tower of London and the crown jewels. Yes, I saw the Sistine Chapel. Yes, I saw the Acropolis. But you know what, none of my friends or 
relatives cared. There are things you are told that you must see. Ask yourself why? Then make a list of the things that YOU really want to see. I went to a Baptist Revival Meeting once when I was in Birmingham, Alabama. It was a three-hour old-fashioned tent revival meeting complete with an altar call. Being a devout Atheist, I thought I would be lynched when the service was over. Instead, many people came up to Karen and I and after some brief chit chat invited us to a large pot-luck dinner. We declined but were touched at the hospitality and friendliness of the church goers. I wondered if I was Black would I have received the same invitation?
Rule 2: Do not let ego overrule your own idea of what would be fun and interesting.
Time traps:
- I would love to join you, but I must be at such and such a place!
- Sounds like fun, but I really do not have the time!
I have heard so many excuses from retired people in respect to not having the time to do things that it simply boggles my mind. People dream to be retired so that they can have the time to do what they would like to do but instead weigh themselves down with to-do lists and schedules that would cross a rabbi’s eyes. Some people like Tevye thought it was a matter of having enough money.
“If I were rich, I’d have the time that I lack to sit in the synagogue and pray
And maybe have a seat by the Eastern wall
And I’d discuss the holy books with the learned men, several hours every day
And that would be the sweetest thing of all.” — Fiddler on the Roof
In truth friends, it is neither time nor money which we lack, it is usually the will. If you are retired or on vacation or have a day off, you probably have a choice over what you must do. However, if you are governed by a should list or a must list, you will be a slave to time and money. We can only free ourselves from these constraints by a power of the will. Making a choice in our lives over what is important.
I am not saying that we don’t have schedules and that time and money are not important. But we all know people that seem to accomplish so much more than we do. We scratch our heads at the abilities of these people. But do we ever stop to think that they have no more time and often no more money than we do?
When I say that it is a matter of will, I am talking about thinking about our real priorities and acting on them for the long term. That good friend that invited you over for dinner might not be around next year. That invitation to go on a trip might not be possible in the future. Karen and I once went on a fantastic seven-day cruise on a 182-foot-tall ship named the Sir Francis Drake. Thirty crew and eighteen passengers with a draft that allowed us to sail in the shallowest bays all added up to a trip that we will never forget. We put off many times going on another trip with this vessel. Then one day we read that the Sir Francis Drake was moored in a Honduran harbor when a hurricane hit. The next morning the ship was gone. It had washed out to sea and sank. The old saying “never put off till tomorrow what you can do today” instantly came to my mind.”
Rule 3: Get your priorities straight. Life is short
As always, I welcome your comments and would love to hear your trip or vacation advice. What are your favorites trips? What made them fun? What would you do different?
Years ago, religions enforced what I would call a pseudo moral code through the power of the state to enact laws desired by the most powerful religions. This of course reflected the power that religions had in society back when you could go to hell for missing mass on Sunday. Gambling was verboten. There was legalized horse race betting in only a few states, and a few states had some other sports such as greyhound racing or Jai Alai which you could bet on. Legally, you could only place bets at the venue. Of course, organized crime found it very lucrative to offer “off track” betting. Every street corner where I grew up had a bookie some place or other. And of course, the numbers game was a very popular way for fools to lose their money. Sports betting was done privately, and casino gambling did not start in Las Vegas until 1931. It had been legal earlier but was outlawed in 1910 and not legalized until 1931. The only lottery I ever heard of when I was growing up had to do with the Irish Sweepstakes. There must have been some way to buy these tickets, but I never investigated it.
Whiskey can now be purchased almost 24/7 in many states. You can buy it in grocery stores, gas stations, bars, and convenience stores. Perhaps no substance has been more abhorred by religions than whiskey. Benjamin Franklin said that “Beer is proof that God loved man and wanted him to be happy.” However, this was not the attitude of most religious organizations. Temperance movements motivated by so called moral considerations did their best to ban alcohol in the US. It is illegal in thirteen countries in the world. Several of the world’s major religions ban the use of alcohol. There are seventy-five scripture (Bible) warnings against the drinking of alcohol. Is it any wonder that so many religions have prohibited the drinking of alcohol.
Now there may be some of you reading my blog and expecting a fire and brimstone sermon regarding the sins of humanity and the temptations of the devil. Nothing could be further from my mind. I am not advocating going back to the religious sanctions or beliefs that fueled so much of our political system. In the first place, they were misguided and in the second place they penalized those who could practice moral virtues along with those most reluctant. I could never understand why I could not buy liquor on Sunday or after 10 PM on weekdays or in a grocery store. I have never received a DUI or even a warning for driving drunk.
The government has always been in the marketing business. They would market “SIN” if they could find a way to sell it or allow it to be sold. In some respects, they are already doing that with the legalization of gambling and their promotion of bigger and bigger lotteries. The poor buy more and more tickets when the odds go ever higher against anyone winning. Powerball’s odds are 1 in 292 million, and the combined populations in the states where tickets are sold equal nearly 320 million. What would anyone do with 2 billion dollars? (As I write this, the lottery of 2.0 billion has been won by a single person in California)
Thus, the uncoupling of Church and State in the constitution of the United States set the stage for a catastrophic imbalance between Moral Policy and Economic Policy. Over the years, the lack of influence in organized religions at the political level was abetted by the horrendous influence and power of Economic Policy. If Moral Policy was once the heart of a religion, it was supplanted by an Economic Policy which has become the main religion in America. This policy states that more is better and that you can never be too rich or have too much stuff.
What we once believed was a great political innovation to separate Church and State has led to this imbalance. There was no place in the state for religion and no place in religion for politics. America’s dominant dream for peace, justice and equality was replaced with a dream for more money, more power and more fame. The push by the State for this dream dwarfed any efforts by religion to provide a moral balance and the State had no legitimacy for morality. People are cast adrift amidst a chaotic and vicious ocean of competition for more and more stuff. No moral anchors exist that are powerful enough to counterbalance the tide of greed that this has brought to our shores. Guns have replaced morality as citizens arm themselves to prevent imagined attacks at taking away their STUFF.
Aging Capriciously 