Listen up now all my loyal fans and supporters. I just wrote the greatest song that’s ever been written. It’s in honor of the greatest event to ever happen in the history of America. It will take place later this week. You all know what it is, so I won’t bother you with the details. It’s going to be great though.
Now, I need to have you all sing this song in honor of me. Everybody must join in. No slackers or wusses. We will start on the right. As a matter of fact, we will start and end on the right. No Democrats, liberals, homos, blacks, Mexicans, Reformist Jews, college professors, disabled, Chinese, Japanese or any other Asians, immigrants, Arabs and of course no Muslims are allowed. Poor people only if you voted for me. So, sing out loud please.
Song to the Tune of “Hey, Hey, We’re the Monkeys by the Monkeys
Hey, Hey, I’m a Republican Politician,
I’ve got no morals, I’ve got no ethics,
All I care about is getting reelected.
Hey, Hey, Donald Trump’s my man,
And I’ll stick by him as long as I can.
We all know he’s got a great defense,
Cause nothing he can do will ever rise to the level of an Impeachable Offense.
Hey, Hey, I’m a Right-Wing Bigot and Fascist,
I don’t like Mexicans, I don’t like blacks and I don’t like Jews,
I guess it’s time to grab a brew.
Hey, Hey, Donald Trump’s my man,
And I’ll stick by him as long as I can.
We all know he’s got a great defense,
Cause nothing he can do will ever rise to the level of an Impeachable Offense.
Hey, Hey, I’m an Evangelical Christian,
I only vote for those against abortion,
Can’t have any uppity women getting out of the kitchen.
Hey, Hey, Donald Trump’s my man,
And I’ll stick by him as long as I can.
We all know he’s got a great defense,
Cause nothing he can do will ever rise to the level of an Impeachable Offense.
Hey, Hey, I’m a rich fat cat who hates all taxes, I pay as little as I can,
I hide my true dividends and earnings,
You guessed it, in my offshore banking.
Hey, Hey, Donald Trump’s my man,
And I’ll stick by him as long as I can.
We all know he’s got a great defense,
Cause nothing he can do will ever rise to the level of an Impeachable Offense.
Democracy passes into despotism. — Plato
Aging Capriciously 