What memories do you keep recycling? Have you ever wondered why?

As time goes by, we see the memories, places, events and dreams we have experienced pass through our lives as though we were looking out a window. But the memories of our lives do not simply pass by once never to return. They seem to travel by in an endless circle, where they come by again and again. Indeed, some come by more often than others. Many of these memories bring poignant thoughts of better days or happier times. Some bring remorse and sadness as we think of the mistakes and missed opportunities in our lives. Others bring regrets that we may have thought were long over. Memories can bring both happiness and sadness. The happy days of the past may also bring sadness as we wish we could spend time with our mom, father, siblings, or friends again. Alas, we cannot go back except in our memories. Certain events cannot be summarized with single feelings. Some of our memories bring back old questions which we still have not answered. What if I had only? Why did we? What did they do that for?

Hindsight is not always 20-20 as many times we do not have answers for our lives. Looking at the past, we may think of new reasons but we are never sure if they are the real reason or not. After my first divorce, I started looking for the reasons my marriage failed. Within a few years, I was up to 32 reasons. I began to wonder if they all caused my marriage to fail or perhaps it was only one of them. Which one was the big question? It took a few years for me to get over the quest for a solution. However, twenty five years after my first marriage ended, a new “reason” popped into my mind. I am not sure if this is the “real” reason or just a new reason. I am becoming reconciled to the fact that I may never know. This is a very hard position for anyone to accept. We want to believe that there is reason for everything.

Have you ever wondered why some memories seem to come by more frequently than others? What memories seem to repeat themselves in your life? Are they happy or sad? Are they moments of success or failure? Are they things you wish you could do over differently or would you do them exactly the same again? Maybe you can still do something about the past. What if it were not too late?

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