Why do some people achieve success and happiness while other people flounder on the shoals? One man/woman becomes Prime Minister or President and their brother/sister becomes a drug addict. I suppose there are many reasons and many that we can probably do nothing about. Some things are beyond our power to change. However, there is one reason that contributes to success and it is in our power to modify or amplify. I speak specifically of the ideas or concepts in the title of this blog: Mentors, Muses, Role Models, and Shooting Stars.
In 1983, I joined the American Society for Training and Development (ASTD). I was still in graduate school working on my degree in Organization Development and it seemed useful to join a professional organization that represented my career goals. As a member of the ASTD, I attended monthly meetings and eventually submitted several articles to their magazine for publication. One of the most interesting projects I volunteered for was to help establish a “Mentoring Program” for young upcoming professionals in the field of Training and Organization Development. This project together with a Human Resource Development organization that I started for students at the University of Minnesota were some of the high points of my academic career. Grades did not count for much to me except to get credits that were needed to graduate. Helping people was truly gratifying.
Mentors:
A “Mentor” can be defined as: “A trusted advisor.” Someone with more experience who knows the ropes and takes a less experienced person under their wings to help guide them through the Scylla and Charybdis that are lurking in most organizations. This can make the difference between success and failure. I have found myself over my head several times because of not properly understanding a new boss or company politics. 
Once, as a new employee, I was attending my first department meeting with my co-workers and supervisor. I deemed it prudent to keep my mouth shut and observe. At the end of the meeting, my supervisor turned to me and noted, “Well, John, you haven’t said a word. What do you think? Give me your honest opinion.” I took her at her word and gave her my honest uncensored opinion. Big mistake, as I am sure you knew. Turns out my boss only liked “Honest Opinions” when they agreed with her opinions. A good mentor would have warned me of this peril before I put my foot in my mouth.
A good mentor can do a great deal more than simply alert you to pitfalls. A mentor may share information about his or her own career path and what helped him/her to become successful. A mentor can provide guidance, motivation, emotional support, and coaching. A mentor may help with setting goals, developing contacts, and identifying resources that will help you to get ahead. I personally believe everyone should have a mentor. In addition to career mentors, there are mentors who may help you with your hobbies or any other activities that add value to your life. Having a mentor is not all about careers and jobs.
How does one find a mentor? Some organizations have mentoring programs and match up new employees with seasoned veterans. A friend of mine at the ASTD and I worked together on the aforementioned mentoring program. We put together guidelines to help companies establish their own in-house mentoring programs. I was quite surprised and pleased when at an ASTD awards banquet, we were acknowledged for the mentoring program that we had developed.
Mentors can be formal or informal. In 1998, I was “adopted’ by an older gentleman named Gordon Backlund when I started working at the Metropolitan Council in Minnesota. He came up to me after a meeting and announced “I see you know nothing about politics in a government organization. I am going to teach you.” I was grateful for his offer. Gordy taught me a bunch about how to survive and we became good friends in the process. He was an informal mentor since the organization did not have a formal mentoring program. It would be great if every organization had a program, but most do not. In the latter case, it is up to you to find a mentor. If you care about your success in life as well as in business, you will find a mentor or mentors. The following is a particularly good video with some tips on “how to find a mentor.” There are many other good videos on the subject and even some good TED talks on the topic.
Here is a great video on how to find a mentor by Marie Forleo
Muses:
A muse in ancient Greece was the name for the nine goddesses who presided over the arts and science. A muse for me is someone who inspires me. Since I think of myself as a writer, a muse is someone who can inspire my writing. A muse indirectly motivates 
me by giving me support and stimulation to be creative. I was thinking back over the years that I have been writing. My first paid article was in 1983. It was published in a San Francisco Men’s Journal. My piece was called “The Three Types of Male Intimacy.” I was paid about 25 dollars. It was not much but it felt like a start. I have since published about 40 journal articles, three books and over 600 blogs. It is a good thing that I never quit my day job since I could barely pay my monthly entertainment bill with the proceeds from my writing.
In 2010, I met Dr. Carolyn Wedin. She was a retired English Professor Emeritus from the University of Wisconsin. She had started a writing class in Frederic, Wisconsin. I joined the class and thus began my honest efforts to become a writer. I say honest, because until then I had not engaged in professional efforts to improve my writing skills. Anyone who says that they are a writer, artist, singer, sculptor, musician, or chef and does not engage in some form of professional development is in my humble opinion, not serious about their craft.
My partner Karen has played the piano since she was a little girl. She plays well enough to be asked to play both piano and organ at church when the regular pianist is out sick or on vacation. About 15 years ago, we were visiting in Mountain View, Arkansas when Karen noticed someone on the “Pickin Parlor Green” playing a small acoustic wooden lap instrument. She enjoyed the sound and also thought how easy it would be to pack up and carry such an instrument. Pianos and organs do not lend themselves to easy carry or transport. She inquired as to what the instrument was and was told that it was a Mountain Dulcimer, also known as an Appalachian Dulcimer. Deciding to try one out, she purchased an inexpensive dulcimer on eBay for about 100 dollars.
Karen tried playing it for a while on her own. She purchased some instruction books and starting plinking away. Not having much success, she came to the conclusion that she needed instruction. She found a good instructor and continued with her until we retired. We then moved to Wisconsin and Arizona. Nevertheless, other dulcimer lessons have continued for many years. We go to at least two music camps each year. One is in Mountain View, Arkansas and the other is in Bardstown, Kentucky. We often attend the Minnesota Blue Grass and Old Time Music Association (MBOTMA) summer festival where they offer classes and practice in a variety of instruments. There is also lots of practice time in what are known as music jams. These jams are events where musicians self-organize into groups with many different skill levels. There will be people playing guitars, violins, mandolins, banjos, dulcimers, harps, and numerous other string instruments.
For several years, Karen was tentative before venturing out into her first music jams. There is a definite etiquette that one must learn before joining a jam session. Karen soon found a group of women in Tucson who were called “The Tucson Dulcimer Ensemble (TDE).” They practice every two weeks and do a few performances each year. The sessions they hold are both training and practice with a good dose of inspiration thrown in. Karen has become more confident since playing with the TDE and is now a good enough player to be asked to do solo performances. Where once she dreaded the thought of playing solo, she now looks forward to the challenge and I suspect, the applause.
But what of a muse? Do we really need one? Who was or is my muse for writing? This past year Dr. Wedin had a series of illnesses and accidents rendering her unable to continue the “Write Right Now” classes that she had started. Some of her students who have attended them for many years volunteered to take over, but it was not the same. It is hard to describe Carolyn’s style of encouragement and critique, but I venture to say it is unique. She inspires without criticizing. She encourages without demoralizing. She suggests without demanding. When you have finished a session with Dr. Wedin, you have new ideas and a renewed motivation to go home and write.
Perspiration or Inspiration: Which is more Important to the Writer? —-A blog I wrote a while ago
Missing Carolyn and her inspiration, I went into a downward spiral. I considered giving up writing. I had said it all. There was nothing else left to write about. I had exhausted all my ideas and creativity. I was finished. I was kaput. My writing days were over. That was when I realized that Carolyn had been my muse. She was my inspiration for what I think of as my writing in Creative Non-Fiction. Part of me knew that Carolyn could not continue teaching. No one lives forever and all things eventually change. The Covid-19 Virus will probably put the finishing touches on the writer’s class for this summer: “Oh, what will I do?”
“I do not know what writing awaits me,
I only know I must be brave,
And I must face a life that dates me,
Or lie a coward, a craven coward,
Or lie a coward in my grave.”
(A slight modification from “High Noon” by Frankie Laine)
Taking advice from this old Frankie Laine song, I must find a new muse. We all need a “little help from our friends” or someone who can guide and inspire us. They say that the truth will set you free. I know not about the truth, but I do know that when we understand something it gives us the freedom to make good decisions and choices. Since I realize how important a muse is to my writing, I must decide how to find my next muse.
Looking at an obvious source for a muse, i.e., the Internet, one finds that most topics treat the subject as an exercise in finding your personal creativity either by looking inward or by researching a range of resources including classes and educational activities. Searching Google for help in finding an actual real person as a muse, I did not find anything especially useful. I did find numerous articles like:
- How to Awaken Your Muse to Spark Your Creativity
- Learning how to find your inner muse
- 7 Tips to Awaken Your Creative Muse – Can-do-ideas
By the way, I got the same results on “YouTube” but I did find an interesting song by Them Coulee Boys called “Find Your Muse.”
I don’t want to find my “inner” creativity. I want to find a real person like Dr. Wedin, who can inspire and challenge me. Telling me to find my inner muse is similar to telling an athlete to find their “inner coach.” This is a great idea up to a point, but I am sure that most musicians, athletes, and other artists would much rather find another human being as a coach or mentor. It is wonderful to be able to talk to someone who has a different perspective and who can talk back.
The search for a muse does not have a single starting point or a definite ending point. Much like mentors, muses will come and go in the life of an artist. The quest for a muse is like looking for the love of your life. They may be just around the corner or they may be on another continent. The one thing I am sure of is that unless you are seeking, you will probably not find one. There is a Zen saying that goes like this, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” I have a feeling that the same is true for finding a muse. When you are ready, your muse will appear. But being ready means having your eyes and ears and heart open. That is what seeking is all about.
In Part 2, I will describe how a Role Model and a Shooting Star can help you in life as well as in your career.
Aging Capriciously 