I would like to tell you a story that led me to a principle that I have used over and over again in my life. The story begins in 1979. I had just received my M.S. degree in Counseling from the University of Wisconsin – Stout. I began applying for jobs where I could use my degree. I also took the Wisconsin test for state employment.
I did well on the state employment test and after an interview process, I was hired by what was then the Department of Industry, Labor and Human Relations (DILHR) as a Manpower Counselor 2. I was officially a counselor in the Work Incentive Program (WIN). I would be in charge of the WIN Program as well as a number of other programs including, Labor Education Advancement Program (LEAP), Indochinese Refugee Assistance Program (IRAP) and the Job Training Partnership Act (JTPA). I would have offices in two counties. One office was in Ellsworth, Wisconsin in Pierce County. The other office was in Hudson, Wisconsin in St. Croix County. I was then living in River Falls, Wisconsin which was almost dead center between my two offices.
Each day my job consisted of basically trying to help people find employment. Depending on their ages, genders, skill levels and aptitudes, I had a variety of resources to help them find a job. Some of my resources included, employer incentives, apprenticeship training, on-the-job-training, education benefits and a variety of tools to help my clients gain the needed skills to find and seek employment. I also had a large data base of employment openings that were furnished daily by the head office in Madison, Wisconsin.
My counseling program at Stout was led by a grand educator named Evelyn Rimel. She was dedicated to the counseling program and would do anything she could to help her students learn the skills they needed to become good counselors. Dr. Rimel was born in September 1911 and died in August 2009 one month shy of her 98th birthday. She was a remarkable woman. The following poem which she wrote expresses her ideas and goals in life. She was 42 years old when she wrote this poem and numerous people will vouch for her devotion to this vision.
I’d like to think when life is done,
That I had filled a needed post;
That here and there I’d paid my fare,
With more than idle talk or boast;
That I had taken gifts divine,
The breath of life and womanhood mine,
And tried to use them, then and now,
In service to my fellow man.
Evelyn received many awards during her lifetime. When she died she was the oldest living and longest-serving member of the American Association of University Women, a national organization to which she belonged for more than 75 years.
Evelyn was the prime mover in the counseling program at Stout and no one who was accepted into the program could ignore her influence on what they would learn. For instance, employment and school counselors are taught to use many tests such as the GATB, SATB, Kuder Richardson and Strong Campbell to help profile job applicants and identify their strengths and weaknesses. Dr. Rimel would hear nothing about weaknesses. She told us that these tests were only pointers and not conclusive evidence of what someone could or could not do. I still remember what Evelyn said but at the time it seemed very theoretical. I would not learn the real meaning of her message until I met this client who came into my life a year or so later.
The year was 1980 and I was in my office in Hudson when an older woman came in to see me. She asked if I could help her find a job. I was 34 years old at the time and it was early in the year 1980. The economy was not doing so well, and it was difficult to find decent paying employment in our area. I asked her to take a seat and how could I help her? She told me that her name was Margaret and that her husband had recently passed away. They had raised four children and she had been a stay-at-home mom. She had no schooling or formal training beyond high school. She was 68 years old and did not have enough money to live on. She needed to find a job to supplement her social security income.
I asked her if she had any idea what she could do. She replied that she did not. I suggested that she take an employment aptitude test to see what kinds of work she might find interesting. It was all very theoretical to me, but I could not imagine what kind of work I could find for her in the local area that would pay enough for her to live on. She did not have any current job experience and no goals for a career. The aptitude test was simply an effort to do something even though I did not believe that I could help her much.
She agreed to take the test which I then administered. When she had finished the test, I told her that I would need to have the test scored. We setup an appointment for the following week to meet again. I sent the test in to be scored and the results came back before our next appointment. When I reviewed the results, I was incredibly surprised. I even laughed at the findings of the test. The test showed Margaret’s highest aptitude to be that of an airline pilot. I laughed because in 1980 there were few women finding employment in the commercial airline industry as a pilot and even fewer who were 68 years of age. Not to mention, a woman with no prior flight experience or military experience. Back in the 80’s, many commercial airline pilots came from the ranks of retired or former military pilots.
I chalked Margaret’s results up to a curious irregularity in the testing results or an anomaly that could probably not be explained. I was not willing to put any credence into the test and totally ignored Evelyn’s caveat about using employment tests as pointers and not as conclusive evidence. When Margaret arrived at my office for her appointment we sat down to discuss her results and what our next steps might be. I started the conversation off by a dismissal of the test findings. “Margaret, these tests are frequently not accurate. This test showed your number one aptitude to be that of an airline pilot.” She looked down at the floor and then up at me. Speaking directly into my face, she solemnly said, “When I was a little girl, I wanted to be an airline pilot, but my parents and teachers all told me it was impossible. Girls could never be commercial airline pilots.”
I don’t really remember the rest of the conversation that day or whether or not I ever found a good job for Margaret. What I do remember and will never forgot was my narrow mindedness and smugness. I had totally written off the possibility that Margaret could ever be an airline pilot.
I mentioned at the start of this story that I gained a principle from this episode that I have used the rest of my life. The principle was this: I would never ever tell anyone, client, student, relative or friend that they could not do something or be something. From Margaret, I realized that one of the things that holds us back are other people who tell us what we can or cannot do. I have previously told the story of my spouse Karen who was advised by her high school guidance counselor that she could never be a nurse because of her low science aptitude scores. Karen ignored this “helpful” advice and spent over 55 years in the medical field as a registered nurse and nurse manager.
“Love what you do and do what you love. Don’t listen to anyone else who tells you not to do it. You do what you want, what you love. Imagination should be the center of your life.” —Ray Bradbury.
Some of you are already thinking that this description has gone too far. The reality of sexual practices throughout the world would astound most individuals. There are those who believe that some sex is right, and some sex is wrong. If there is a right and wrong when it comes to sex, the question is not easily answered. The seasons of sex, the regions of sex and the individual capabilities all noted above will determine what is considered right and wrong sex.
On the other hand, I read widely. I think a great deal about things and what constitutes right and wrong. I have been to 34 countries. I am old enough to have seen many things that work and many things that do not work. I have had friends from many cultural and ethnic backgrounds. I am not unduly influenced by religious, cultural, or even some legal restrictions governing sex. As for the legal aspects, I believe in the protection of young children from pedophiles and other exploiters. However, I have long believed in the right of people to choose their sex partners regardless of ethnic background.
I have met people who say, “I never eat Mexican food.” They say this as though it were some badge of honor. I want to ask what type of Mexican food do they not eat? Does their exclusion of Mexican food extend to deserts like fried ice cream or drinks like Tequila or is it simply tacos and burritos that they do not eat? I have met people who say, “I never eat fish.” I usually ask them why and I often hear the reply “they taste too fishy.” I want to ask them if they ever eat meat that tastes too meaty, but instead I usually ask them if their antipathy extends to crustaceans, mollusks, and cephalopods. I can see the disapproval in my spouse’s eyes when I pursue this line of questioning.
After exploring the vast variety of Mexican foods, I discovered that the tasty and hearty Menudo soup is chock full of tripe. Many Latinos as well as Gringos in the Southwest will not eat Menudo. Several years ago, after I started dating Karen, I was introduced to Lutefisk. At first I found the texture somewhat off putting. Over time, by adding butter or cream sauce I discovered the joy of eating Lutefisk around the holidays. It is a Scandinavian tradition in homes much like Menudo is in Mexican homes. Paradoxically, many Scandinavians loath Lutefisk. The derivation of such foods leads many to disavow them. I confess to the same attitude towards an Italian dish known as Pasta a Fagioli which my mother loved to make. I left home swearing to never eat any again.
Some of these low-cost and nutritious peasant foods have become quite popular now as people look back to their early roots. An example of such a food dish is the Italian Pasta e Fagioli which I mentioned earlier. This is a dish comprised of beans and macaroni. Beans and macaroni form a “whole protein” which means you get all the amino acids you need without having to eat meat. A protein is considered “complete” when it has the nine essential amino acids in somewhat equal amounts. Almost every country in the world has some staple food items that provide whole protein. In poorer cultures, livestock was valued for its ability to help farm crops and produce milk. In places like India, livestock was made sacred as a way to prevent killing a valuable resource. Cows were more valuable alive than they were dead.
A few years ago, at the annual Gustavus Adolphus Nobel Conference the subject was on food production. A number of experts claimed that the day will come when we will no longer be able to afford a practice so barbaric and wasteful as to slaughter animals for meat eating. There is an abundance of insects on this earth that could provide an almost endless low-cost supply of protein and minerals to our diets. Most people respond to thoughts about eating insects with something like “I could never eat bugs.” My retort is “well you don’t eat bloody chickens or bloody cows do you?” The insects would be processed, and they would provide a grain that could be used in various ways like we use wheat or corn meal. I get blank stares.
I look around me today and I do not understand the world. I do not understand the decisions that our leaders make. It seems we have a moral disease. The symptoms of this disease are short-term thinking and greed. Arizona is suffering from an unprecedented drought and heat wave. The water levels in both the Central Arizona Project and aquifers are dangerously low. Yet when asked to cut back water usage by 3.8 percent, the golf course owners in Phoenix created an association to oppose such a “drastic” cut. Their counter proposal was for a 1.6 percent cut in water usage. The Governor of Arizona was the keynote speaker for the associations kick off meeting. Am I crazy? Do you believe this? Are golf courses more important than drinking water and water for farm crops?
I remembered from many years ago, a leader at a support group that I belonged to advised me that I should have more humor in my life. I asked him “Do you know any good books about getting more humor in one’s life.” He laughed, “You can’t read about humor, you have to do it.” The thought has often struck me over the years that it is one thing to read about things, it is another thing to do them. Could it be, I am just a writer and not a doer? Was it still possible that I needed more humor in my life. Maybe a clown I am not?
A year ago, (June 2020) almost to the day, I had a sharp pain in my chest. I fell to the floor and passed out. I know that this is not very funny but stay with me and I will get to the funny part. I promise. Karen thought I was having a heart attack and she called 911. They came, attached an IV to my arm and I had my first ever ambulance ride to the emergency clinic in St. Croix Falls. After a blood test, an Ultra Sound, an X-Ray, and a CAT Scan, they decided that I had a Gall Bladder problem. Three hours later, I was sent home with an appointment for the next day back at the hospital to see a doctor.
I saw a Physician Assistant at the clinic. He was polite and thoughtful. He gave me some rudimentary tests. A little prodding and touching here and there. He then advised me to go to the Emergency Department at the St. Croix Medical Center. He said the Frederic Clinic was not equipped to do the more complicated tests that I would need and that I should get these tests done immediately.. He suggested that it might be time to get rid of the unneeded and problematic Gall Bladder. I was quite ready to agree. I had managed to keep my Gall Bladder for almost 75 years. It had a good run, and perhaps it was time for it to retire.
After a short wait, I was brought by wheel chair into another room. I laid down on yet another bed. A new nurse (or was it a technician) came into the room. I assumed that she was going to perform the test. Someone else brought the apparatus for conducting the Ultra Sound into the room and left. The nurse or Ultra-Sound Technician started to poke and prod me with a rod connected to the machine. This increased my burping considerably and went on for longer than I had remembered a year ago. I guess they wanted to be really sure this time that I needed my Gall Bladder removed. I was resigned to this eventuality.
When we get back to normal, two parent families will again reign supreme. Mom will stay home to cook, while dad goes to work. There will be no trans-people. Girls will stick to cheerleading and let the boys play the sports. Contraceptives will be banned, and no one will dream of getting an abortion. Priests and ministers will be male, and gay people will disappear. Everyone in America will go back to being good Christians.
Second, what are you going to do about your fears? Fear is an adaptive mechanism. It helps to keep you alive. If you are in the woods and walking down a trail and see a large bear or cougar coming towards you, it is quite healthy to have some degree of fear. But fear alone is not going to save your life. If you are paralyzed with fear you may just be eaten. Fear is an alarm. An alarm sounds to wake us up. The next step is to do something. Doing something is a risky effort with no guarantee of success. Sadly, there are few guaranties in life, but the evidence seems to suggest that doing nothing is worse than doing something. This is where forethought and preparedness come in. One of my favorite quotes is by the Roman philosopher Seneca (died 65 CE) who once said that “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”
Dylan Thomas said, “Do not go gentle into that good night.” I don’t know about the raging part of his poem. I prefer thinking about my life as I get older and not raging. But he makes a good point. It is all too easy to give up on life as we age. We can live in memories of what we used to do, or we can find new activities and new levels to pursue old activities at. For instance, I may not have the stamina to play tennis or racquet ball anymore, but I can still play pickleball or go for a short ride on my bicycle. I used to do six-minute miles in road races. My personal best was 38.48 on a 10K. The race I ran for Frederic Family days this year on June 12, 2021, I averaged 10.14 per mile for a 5k. Quite a bit off of my pace from years ago but I still got my t-shirt. I run for t-shirts these days and not trophies.
The first tale begins with a trip back from Duluth, Minnesota over thirty years ago. Karen and I were returning from a scenic ride up the North Shore to our home in White Bear Lake. It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon in July. We decided that we were hungry. We were nearing the Cloquet exit on Interstate 35. Not seeing anything near the exit, we decided to pull off the freeway and try to find a place to eat in Cloquet.
The quantity of food when it came was plentiful, but the quality of the food was a big surprise. We have been to many a good Chinese restaurant in Shanghai, Huangshan, Nanjing, Suzhou, and several other Asian cities including American cities with large Chinese populations. The food here was wonderful. It was tasty, spicy, and as good as we have eaten anywhere in the world. We were beyond surprised. I could not believe our good fortune. How could this be? A diamond in the rough where diamonds were not supposed to exist.
She advised me that Mr. Huie (who started the well-respected Chinese Lantern restaurant in Duluth) had decided that Cloquet would be a good place for a small take-out style Chinese restaurant. He placed an ad in a San Francisco paper which found its way to mainland China. Mr. Huie (son of the founder of one of the first Chinese restaurants in Duluth) reviewed a number of applicants who answered his ad. The present cook was selected for the job. Who would believe a genuine Chinese food restaurant in Cloquet Minnesota?
Aging Capriciously 
Title: Historic Match between Good Guy from the West and Evil Guy from the East
17 Jun 2021 Leave a comment
by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: biden, commentary, Putin, summit
Just for the hell of it, I am going to comment on the historic Biden Putin summit. Everyone else in the world has given their take on this historic moment in US and Russian history, so why not me? I can sound as knowledgeable about Biden and Putin as any of the commentators who have commented on this situation. Think of me as a commentator commenting on the commentators who commented about the historic Biden Putin summit. I should add that if you have not already noticed, just about every commentator commenting on this summit mentioned it as a “historic” summit.
In case you do not know the definition of historic, it has something to do with something that someone might potentially put into a history book or perhaps something that Hollywood will make a movie out of. If I were to make a film out of this historic summit, it would go something like this.
Plot:
Two leaders from hostile countries meet to divide up the world or at least agree on who is screwing things up in the world. The leader from the evil country denies everything while the leader from the great and good and very morale country warns the evil leader of the consequences of not being a better leader. The good leader is in the blue trunks while the evil leader is in the red trunks. The match consists of three one-hour rounds with a ten-minute restroom break between rounds. The breaks are to allow commentators to send their commentaries to their offices.
Cast:
Joe Biden: President of the USA
Vladimir Putin: Evil Dictator from Russia
Sycophants: Both countries brought along dozens of elected officials to witness the match
Commentators: Just about anyone who could buy, forge, or obtain a press pass
Synopsis:
Joe came out of his corner with a quick handshake which threw his opponent for a momentary loss. Commentators scored it 1-0 for Biden. Vladimir recovered quickly and met Joe’s handshake with a bone crushing shake of his own. Joe smiled and they both took their seats. Commentators gave Joe another point since they like him better. The score was now 2-0 for Biden.
Numerous subjects were dealt with in the next three hours. Despite the pre-game name calling by Biden, the opponents settled into a polite routine with no grandstanding or insults. As expected Biden threw a “dissidents jab” at Putin who responded with a “January 6th insurgency jab.” Biden called the comparison ridiculous which most commentators agreed on. Biden scored another point making it 3-0 for Joe.
Joe threw a right cross nailing Vladimir with warnings about any more hacking. Vladimir blocked the punch and denied everything. Commentators were split since Joe did not provide any evidence and Putin seemed so confident that nothing could be pinned on Russian hackers. Call it 1 for Joe and 1 for Putin. The score after round 2 was 4-1 in favor of Biden.
Both leaders came out in round three with Putin clearly shaken up and worried about the bad press he was getting from a less than stellar effort. It was clear that Putin had underestimated Sleepy Joe and had not trained well for this match. Nevertheless, Putin scored early in round three with some nice comments about his opponent that Joe rolled with. Commentators gave Putin a point since Joe should have side stepped these compliments instead of accepting them. Joe was clearly surprised. The final score after round three was 4-2 in favor of Joe.
Post-Game commentary tended to judge the match a win for Biden due to his early domination of the bout and self-confidence. However, many commentators had it as a draw since Putin made no concessions and gave nothing away. There were no major knockdowns and depending on one’s viewpoint nothing was really decided.
Stay tuned for a sequel to this historic match, in which both opponents will meet again for another historic showdown.
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