Aging Capriciously

“Taming Time” would be an interesting title for a book. I typed this phase “Taming Time” in on the Amazon Book site and came up with 417 hits. A quick look down the results showed numerous books with this title. Most of them seemed to focus on time management or tips to “tame” time. The metaphor or allusion to time seems to indicate that it is a wild beast that needs to be tamed. However, have you ever tried to tame a wild beast? Would you trust a so called tamed lion or tiger around your children? Can we really time a wild beast?

If time is a wild beast, are we perhaps kidding ourselves by thinking that “201 tips” on time will tame this beast? What if time were not tamable? What if we just had to live with this beast? Perhaps there is a better opportunity for an original book on time titled: “Living with the Beast of Time.” Well, how do we go about living with a wild beast? I suppose you must have plenty of patience, courage and awareness towards the beast. You might always have to be on guard for some moment when the beast reverts to its natural state. You could never fully trust that the beast might not someday become wild and violent.

If you are living with a wild creature, you have to respect it. A lack of respect could really get you in trouble with a lion or tiger. I think the same is true for time. Do you respect time? How do you treat the time in your life? Do you see it as a wild or domesticated creature? Do you think you can tame it?

Time and priorities seem to go hand in hand. Some say that time is all about setting priorities. I often think that when someone says “I don’t have the time”, a more honest reply would be: “It’s not that important to me or not as important as the other things going on in my life right now.” In some time management courses, they teach you to understand the distinction between important and urgent. Some things are both important and urgent and thus you should attend to them right away, others are urgent but not important. The phone ringing tends to define a sense of urgency as it screams to be attended to. We rush to pick it up, only to find a telemarketer on the other end. Other things are important, but do not need to be done right away, thus we put them off and sometimes never seem to get the truly important things done in our lives. We may reflect on these failures when it is too late, as in telling someone we really love them, after they are dead. However, we are too busy with the urgent to spend time on the important.

The no-brainers are the unimportant and un-urgent. Yet, how many of us occupy our time with these true time wasters: the daily news, the TV set, gossip or trivia about sports or movie stars or what so and so wore to the wedding. Studies show the average person watches 3-6 hours of TV a day. Can you think of anything on TV that falls into the urgent or important categories? Yet, how often do you say “I have no time?” What if you answered: “I am sorry, I don’t have the time, I have to watch 6 hours of TV tonight before going to bed?” What would you think if someone said that too you? It might be refreshing if people were more honest.

What method do you use to set priorities in your life? Do you think you have your priorities well balanced? If not, what could you do to better balance your priorities? How much time do you spend on the unimportant and un-urgent each week? How much time to you spend on the truly important? How much time do you spend dealing with the simply urgent? Are you always fighting fires and never getting the important tasks done? Dr. W.E. Deming used to say, “Putting out the fires, does not improve the hotel.”

Friday, Friday, too much too say about this day! Black Friday, Freaky Friday, Good Friday; Casual Friday, Unlucky Friday, TGIF! Can you believe a chain of restaurants, a god and more songs than I could list named after this day? Friday, is derived from the Anglo-Saxon form of Frigga, the Germanic goddess of beauty. Frigga was the goddess of love, marriage, and destiny. She was the wife of the powerful Norse god Odin, The All-Father.

If there were a magic day, it would be Friday. You know the reason why too, don’t you? The last day of the week, payday, the day that three day weekends begin on and a holy day as well. The Easybeats sing: “Monday, I’ve got Friday on my mind.” We can all identify with that song, since many of us start thinking about Friday as soon as we are headed to work on Monday. Even those of us who love our work, often look forward to this last day in the week, the day before our weekend break begins and frequently the day we begin it on early. In Japan, Friday is Kin-Youbi: “Gold Day” or “money day”, and in many Asian cultures, paydays are on Friday (Wikipedia). Friday for others has often been associated with the dreaded pink slips. Instead of getting paid, you receive your layoff notice. Love it, hate it, dread it, fear it, but you cannot ignore Friday.

What do Fridays mean to you? Have Fridays more often been good to you or bad? Do you anxiously wait for each Friday or do you take your days one at a time? What do you like most about Fridays? What if we had a four day week and skipped Fridays? How would you feel about that? Would you miss your Fridays?

Glory time! Halleluiah! Are you waiting for glory time? “It will be a glorious day in heaven that awaits all repentant sinners. However, the fires in hell will burn brighter as they consume the bones and blood of those who fail to repent. Today is Glory Day. Lift up thine eyes to heaven so that you may see what awaits you. The downcast will be lifted up and the exalted will be cast down.” Or so it has been said!

Well, perhaps I exaggerate some, but what could be a more glorious time for some then the day they rise up to get their just rewards? More immediate but more mundane times of glory may await those of us who prefer to tarry on this earth. Many of us yearn for a day of glory; to rise on the pedestal and be recognized for a “once in a lifetime” achievement. – To have a crowd of friends and admirers all standing there to cheer at our success – We have the Oscars, the Emmys, the Grammys, the Bowl Games, the Super Bowl, the World Series, American Idol and a zillion playoffs, but most of us will never attend one of these, much less play in one or win one.

For most ordinary people, our glory time will be winning a local soccer tournament, or taking first place in our third-grade spelling bee. A good friend of mine recently received notice that he was going to be inducted into an academic Hall of Fame. I once took second place in a father-daughter canoe race. I still keep the trophy. It is the only trophy I have ever received. The irony is that regardless of how small these accomplishments may seem to others, we will never forget the moment or the time of our glory. For the rest of our lives, we will remember our moment of glory. There may be other glory times or more significant times, but glory times are like precious moments of happiness, they come and go all too fast for our liking. That is their nature; can you imagine spending days and weeks in glory time? When was your last glory time? What do you remember about it? Why was it important to you then and now?

Daytime! You wake up in the morning and the first thing you think is “It’s daytime, I have a lot of things I want to do today.” Or perhaps you think “Another day, I wish I did not have to go to work.” For some of us, daytime is exciting and energizing. For others, we just want to turn the alarm off and go back to sleep. I prefer to think that daytime marks the start of a new day with new challenges and opportunities. It is a chance to realize my hopes and dreams. I know that for some, daytime brings fears and maybe even more pain and dread. It may be the continuation of a bad dream that they do not know how to get out of or a bad story that started the day before and does not seem to end.

Perhaps our difference in perspective lies in the element of Hope. Hope is a gift that “gives vision to the mind, strength to the will, courage to the heart, and endurance to the body.” (My Daily Bread, by Anthony J. Paone, 1954, Confraternity of the Holy Blood) With hope, we can look forward to the possibility that we can change, our lives can change, others can change and the world can change. Hope is the belief that things can be better today than they were yesterday. It is the belief that we can make a difference in the world. Hope means that I can change my dreams into reality. It is never too late to start to hope. Hope will carry you through the times when life seems hopeless.

What does daytime mean to you? What role does hope play in your daily life? When you wake up in the morning, how do you feel about starting a new day? Is it exciting and energizing or fearful and painful? Do you believe that you can and will make a difference today? What would it take to put you into the category of people who greet each day with excitement and enthusiasm? Are you happy to continue with your present outlook on life or do you want to get more out of life? How can you start? Where can you look? Who could help you in your journey? How can you find more hope in your life? What or whom could help you to renew the hope that you may have lost?

There is no shortage of time poetry or poetry about time. The website http://www.poemhunter.com/poems/time/ has many excellent poems on time. You could spend hours reading the wonderful poems about time and its effects on people’s lives. I recently borrowed some ideas from this poetry and wrote Karen a poem on time for her while she was in Phoenix visiting our daughter. She told me when she returned that it was the first time that anyone had ever written her a poem. I thought that was sad since we have been married now for over 20 years and neither I nor anyone else had ever written her a poem. I think everyone should have a poem written for them at least once in their lives and the subject of time is a good place to start.

If you peruse some of the poetry at this website, you will find some excellent ones but some that are just okay. I think it is like that with anything. We have good stuff and we have average stuff and some bad stuff. However, we let the outstanding scare us from attempting because we say “Oh, I could never write that well.” Well, you might be able to or you might not but it really does not matter. Not everyone will be a Tiger Woods or a Michael Jordan, but that should not deter anyone from playing golf or basketball; likewise with writing poetry or a book or doing anything else. There is always room in this world for more creativity, for more poetry, for more stories.

If you don’t start now, then when will you start? Write your loved one a poem today, just for them. Write it about time or about anything else that is special for you. Give it to them and see what they think. You don’t have to be a great poet, but who knows, maybe you are.

September is the ninth month of the year in the Gregorian calendar and one of four Gregorian months with 30 days. September is my favorite month of the year. For me, September is the beginning of fall. Autumn is well underway by the beginning of September and by the middle of September the leaves will soon start changing. Technically fall does not begin until September 21st, but we all know that the real end of summer is on Labor Day.

In many parts of the world, summer ends when students head back to school (They are already back in Wisconsin and in Minnesota will head back tomorrow). The fall weather and temperatures are perfect (for me anyway) and I love the changing colors of the landscapes. I love the cool crisp air and the beauty of the trees, shrubs and falling leaves. I love the many fall flowers and the bright red Sumac bushes. The flowers and red bushes are soon complimented by the Oaks, Maples and Popular trees which will contribute bright yellows, oranges and reds to the panoply of colors. The leaves have an almost ethereal quality as they float to the ground and cover it in a rich collage of hues and tones. However, when the leaves start gently falling, the end of fall comes too soon for me.

I should mention that I was born in September and of course my birthday will bring some treats. However, I would still love the fall with or without my birthday. Many people do not feel the same why that I do about the fall, particularly in Minnesota. Karen does not enjoy September nearly as much as I do. She did not like getting up this morning when it was 47 degrees and she regrets the acorns that are already starting to scatter on the ground. She says she can only think that when fall comes, winter will soon be here.

In some parts of the world, fall lasts somewhat longer than in Wisconsin. Weather-wise, we have a two month fall that covers September and October. Never mind that the calendar says fall ends on December 20, it really ends right after Halloween. By then the colors are over and most of the leaves need to be raked up. Not to mention, we generally have snow long before the “end” of fall. Well, in four weeks, we will be headed to Arizona so I will miss the winter but hopefully catch most of the fall up here.

What is your favorite month of the year? Why? What is your favorite season of the year? Do you enjoy each season or do you have a special season you look forward to?

What is free time? Students, people on seminars, people at retreats and people on tours are often told that they will have such and such time as free time. We assume this means we can do anything we want with our time. However, even if we could really do anything we wanted to with this time (highly unlikely), would the time really be free? Did you not pay for the tour or conference in the first place? If so, then you paid for the “free” time that you are getting. Time always costs us something.

Generally, we are overjoyed at getting free time, since if we put the cost aside, we are more grateful for the chance to spend it the way we want to. Time that is under our control is often more valuable to us than money that is under our control. In an ideal world, both would be under our control but in real life we are constantly juggling time and money. Neither of which are free or totally under our control.

Getting free time is no more likely than getting free money. It is funny that we seldom expect to get free money, but we take for granted the idea of free time. This just shows how little we value time until we really need it or until it is in short supply. What if you were told: “now you are going to have some very expensive time to do what you want to do today? It is not free but it is very precious.” Would this change what you would do with your time? Would it change how you felt about the use of this time? So what are you going to do with your free time today? How often do you get any free time? How much would “more’ free time be worth to you? Would you buy some if it were for sale?

Sleepy Time tea is a commercial tea made by Celestial Seasonings. Celestial Seasonings calls this tea “Sleepy Time” because it is mostly comprised of chamomile. Chamomile is an herb that has natural properties which promote restfulness and drowsiness. It is an aromatic tea with a pleasant fruity flavor that goes great with honey. When I drink this tea, I think of the Hobbits from Tolkien’s famous stories. The Hobbits were very peaceful people who lived in the Shire and were just happy to stay home and smoke their pipes and drink their tea. Well, on a cold winter’s night in Minnesota when the temperature is 15 degrees BELOW zero; that is a wonderful thing to do. Kick back in a big old recliner in front of a roaring fire with a good book and a nice cup of Sleepy Time tea.

Can you think of a better way to spend a winters evening or even a summers evening for that matter? Just sitting in a big recliner chair, reading a good book and drinking a wonderfully soothing cup of tea! No place to go, no goals to complete, no project deadlines to meet, no team meetings to get to! Just let the wonderful herb work its magic and before you know it, you are off to a nice warm bed and a very deep and relaxing sleep.

This is not a commercial for tea, but for a way of life that all too many of us forego for the stress and rush that we call the modern world. We dream of a retirement that might look like the way the Hobbits live every day. However, as soon as we are retired, we fill our days up again with volunteer activities, clubs, and other stress producing tasks. How many people do you know who are retired and say “I’m busier now than when I was working?” We don’t know how to be a Hobbit and most of us will die before we learn. If you are retired, you should have a least a few Hobbit days in your schedule. If you are not retired, you probably need these days even more. Try building some Hobbit days into your calendar.

Can you just see back and relax? Buy a cup of chamomile tea and see if this helps you. Chamomile tea is natures answer to the frenetic producing caffeinated drinks that are dominating the market today. Would you rather be a Hobbit or a caffeine addict?

In the nick of time! There are still (I hope) some of us who remember those old time serials where the damsel in distress was saved by the strong handsome hero “in the nick of time.” Usually she was tied to a railroad track or to a log in a saw mill and screamed while her impending death came ever closer. Today, we might expect to actually see her cut in half by the sawmill blade or flattened by the freight train. We would call it reality cinema. Years ago, much more was left to the imagination in movies than is the case today. A nick indicates a very small unit, hence its use in conjunction with the concept of time. Dictionary.com defines the phrase “in the nick of time to mean: “at the right or vital moment, usually at the last possible moment.” The word derives from an older word “niche” which means a small part of something, as in a niche market. Thus, the phrase really combines too concepts, that of time and that of good fortune.

Another familiar example or case goes like this. An indigenous person (usually referred to as an Indian in the Old West) was about to scalp a settler (who was actually trespassing) when out of the blue, the US cavalry arrived “in the nick of time” to effect a rescue operation that obviously had not been well planned. Regardless that this may have happened many times, the settlers went on with their business as did the indigenous people. Can you imagine such a scene being played today in the movies? Time passes on and cowboy and Indian movies have become a relic of the past.

We still have last minute rescues; in fact, this idea is a staple of the cinema. However, the corniness of old screen rescues (not to mention the cast of villains) is today very different. Thus, while some things change with time, other things do not. In the nick of time is probably a phase with many more years of life left in it. When was the last time, you used this phrase or heard it used? When was the last time it had any relevance for you? Have you ever been “saved” in the nick of time?