
Last year at my 40th Demontreville Retreat, one of the exercises that we were given by the Retreat Master included a very challenging set of thoughts. The worksheet for the activity was labeled as “A Testament.” I took the worksheet and instructions home with me. It had fourteen tasks or reflections to complete. I did not desire to complete them during the retreat. It is now almost a year since my retreat, and I have decided to make the mental and emotional effort necessary to complete this “Testament.”
The worksheet started with these instructions:
Imagine that this is the last day of your life on earth. In the time that you have left, you want to leave a “Testament” for your family and friends. Each of the following could serve as chapter headings for your “Testament.”
5. These are ten of the greatest Insights that I have gained in the School of Life.
Friends are like flowers:
I have realized that friends are like flowers. They grow, they bloom and then some of them wither away over time. Some friends are like Perennials. They live for more than two years. They grow back each year as we renew them. They may bloom for many seasons. Over and over again. Other friendships are more like Annuals. Annuals have a much more limited life cycle. Sometimes, they are over in less than a year. They are beautiful when they last but somehow they are never destined for longevity.
Cowards die many times before their deaths:
A line from Shakespeare’s “Julius Caesar” that I have used my entire life to remind me that fear can be death. Fear can stop us from trying new things, going to new places and enjoying life. True, fear is a warning. However, fear can also be paralyzing. You have heard it said that some people are afraid of their shadows. As we get older, life closes in on us. Unless we can keep pushing back the boundaries, we will end up in a coffin long before it is our time.
Live for today. Take one day at a time:
So easy to say. So hard to do. All the great prophets in history have given paeans to the virtue of living one day at a time. Jesus said “”Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”— Mathew, 6:34. Buddha said, “Don’t get caught in the past, because the past is gone. Do not get upset about the future, because the future is not yet here. There is only one moment for you to be alive, and that is the present moment.” — Knowing the Better Way to Live Alone. The Muslim preacher, Hasan al-Basri said, “The world is three days: Yesterday, with all that was in it, has gone. Tomorrow, you may never see it. As for today, it is yours, so work on it.” There are many more admonitions to live in the moment. Still, easier said than done.
I wake up making my lists each day. I plan some of them one week, one month, and even years out. Will those days ever come? The older I get, the less likely it is that a ten-year plan will ever come to fruition. It makes sense to live in the moment. Except, what about the grasshopper and the ants? They stored up grain for the future, while the grasshopper fiddled and danced. Who starved? A good friend of mine complains that it is not fair that state parks and other such venues do not operate on a first come first served basis. Today, if you do not plan for the future, you may not get a campground. Not planning for a future can mean even more dire prospects than not getting a campsite. It might mean not having any retirement money. It might mean not having any resources for health care and other necessities. There must be a balance between living for today and planning for tomorrow. Does anyone know a sure fire way to find that balance? Here is what ChatGPT said in response to my query:
Balancing living for today and planning for tomorrow can be a delicate act, but it is achievable with mindful practices and habits. Here are some strategies that can help:
Set Clear Goals: Define your long-term goals and break them down into smaller, manageable steps. This helps you focus on the present while keeping an eye on the future.
Prioritize Your Time: Make a list of your daily activities and prioritize them based on importance and urgency. This ensures you are spending time on what matters most, both for today and for your future.
Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing, can help you stay present and enjoy the moment without constantly worrying about the future.
Create a Balanced Schedule: Allocate specific times for work, relaxation, hobbies, and social activities. This ensures that you are enjoying life now while also dedicating time to your future goals.
Financial Planning: Save and invest wisely to secure your future, but also set aside some money for leisure and experiences that bring you joy today.
Stay Flexible: Life is unpredictable, and plans may change. Being adaptable allows you to enjoy the present while being prepared for future changes.
Reflect Regularly: Take time to reflect on your progress and adjust your plans as needed. Regular reflection helps you stay aligned with your goals and make necessary changes.
Seek Balance in Health: Take care of your physical and mental health through regular exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient rest. Good health enables you to enjoy the present and ensures longevity.
Enjoy Small Moments: Find joy in everyday moments and appreciate the present. Whether it’s a walk in the park, a good meal, or time with loved ones, these moments are valuable.
Continuous Learning: Invest in your personal and professional growth by learning new skills and acquiring knowledge. This not only prepares you for the future but also enriches your present life.
By integrating these practices, you can create a harmonious balance between living in the moment and planning for the future.
It took ChatGPT all of about one minute to come up with the above list. Pretty amazing isn’t it. I only wish I were as smart as she/he is.
Kindness is more important than knowledge:
This is a lesson that has taken me many years to learn. “Chicken Soup for the Soul” was a pivotal event in my life. The stories started me thinking more about kindness and less about acquiring a great deal of knowledge. I once thought that knowledge was everything. Knowledge was the path to virtue according to the Bible. Knowledge was power according to Sir Thomas Hobbes. Knowledge comes from a different place than kindness. Knowledge is necessary to make a living, but kindness is necessary to make a life. A human being must be more than just a collection of ideas and theories. We must be able to show compassion and empathy for other human beings and other creatures. Kindness will make more of a difference to the world than the Encyclopedia Britannica ever did.
We do not age like a fine wine, we age like bananas:
Whoever came up with the trope about aging and fine wine must never have grown old. The older I get, the more wizened I get. My wine is getting moldy. My face is getting wrinkled. Like an aging banana, I now am getting more and more black spots on my skin. Nobody throws a fine old wine away, but in a few years, just like a rotten old banana, my carcass will be disposed of. I am softer and mushy now. I once was firm and hard. Who likes a mushy old banana?
Don’t rely on Hope:
Hope may spring eternal in the human breast but hope never accomplished anything. It takes effort to make a life. It takes effort to go to work every day. It takes effort to do anything worth being done. You can hope your life away. Hope is a seasoning for life. You can season the meat, but you must then cook it. Hope can help you to have faith that you can change the world, but hope is not enough to get the job done. Patrick Henry spoke about “hugging the delusive phantom of hope.”
You can hope to win the lottery but unless you buy a lottery ticket, you have no chance of winning the jackpot. Hope can be a motivator, but running the 100-meter dash of life takes moving your legs to get to the finish line. Keep hope in perspective but don’t let hope become your whole life.
Life is about trying to make a difference:
We wake up each morning and what do we do? We say a prayer maybe. Maybe we have breakfast. We take a shower. We write a few lines. We go to work. What is the purpose of our life? If it is not to make a difference in the world, I don’t know what it is for. Is it simply to live another day? Is it just to have fun? “God Forbid” to quote Patrick Henry again. If the meaning of our lives is not to make a difference in the world, I don’t know what we exist for.
Sadly, we may never know if we make a difference. We are not born with a difference gauge that tells us which of our efforts is the most effective. Faith can make a difference here. Mother Teresa was once challenged by a reporter who asked her, “How do you know you are making any difference with all your poverty and charity work?” Mother Teresa replied, “I am not called upon to make a difference, I am called upon to have faith.” Faith guides us down the path of hope but we must be propelled by a desire to see a better world if not for ourselves than for our children.
Progress is made by people, ideas, and technology:
There are many theories of human progress. Karl Marx believed that materialism was the prime motivator and engine for change. “The essential condition for the existence, and for the sway of the bourgeois class, is the formation and augmentation of capital; the condition for capital is wage-labor.” — The Communist Manifesto, Karl Marx. Despite the fact that Marx has been refuted more times than I can count, his problem came not from his perspective, it came from his limitations of perspective. He was not able to see the difference that ideas, people, and technology could and do make on the world.
The argument as to which drives progress is really a chicken and egg dilemma. Or maybe it is more like a giant Mobius strip. Great men come up with great ideas which create great technology which creates new material goods which lead to new leaders who have new ideas for more progress. Around and around we go, but we always remain in one plane. A Möbius strip is a one-sided surface with no boundaries that looks like an infinite loop. Progress comes from going around and around and around. All the elements of the universe help motivate us around this single plane.
Whatever can be done, can also be undone:
The pundits are telling us that if Trump gets reelected he will abandon and even destroy all the foundations for democracy that still exist in the USA. His first attempt at doing so fell short but together with his minions, he will take another shot at it. Americans are deluded into thinking that democracy is indestructible.
Democracy is a set of ideas which when put into action creates a system of government. Sometimes this system works very well but often it is dysfunctional. Democracy has no guarantee of success if people no longer believe in the set of ideas that defined their democracy. There are only twenty or so true democracies in the world today out of over 180 different governments. “The Economist Democracy Index rates countries on the state of their governing system each year. In the latest published edition, corresponding to the year 2022, only 24 countries in the world have been rated as ‘full democracies’, representing 8% of the world’s population.” — The State of Democracy, April 2023
It is by no means inevitable that democracies will be created in the world or that they will be sustained. History has shown us over and over again that great empires fall, and democracies may not survive. Human beings seem to have an equal propensity to favor authoritarian governments as they do democratic governments. Recent events in the USA cannot be denied. America is full of people who do not believe in democracy and who would favor a tyrant and bully like Trump being elected for life.
Love surpasses everything:
If making a difference is the ultimate purpose of life than love is the ultimate meaning of life. We often love not too well and not too wisely, but love is the soul of our existence. Deprive humans of love and you deprive humans of the only thing that really matters in this world. A lonely life is one that saddens all of us. How many people live such lives? What can we do to help others who are not loved or who cannot share love with others? If we can stop manufacturing bombs and bullets to murder others, we might be able to work towards creating a world based on love. We may have faith and we may have hope, but unless we mix the ingredients for love and share them with others, love will remain only a dream.
Next Reflection:
6. These are the Risks I took.


Brink: I might put it a little different way. I think those of us who are such strong supporters within the U.S. government, within the American population, for Ukraine, support Ukraine because we see, or we think we see, and understand the future that Ukrainians want. And that is a future where Ukraine is free, independent, prosperous, sovereign and gets to decide its own future. To us, as Americans, it really appeals to also who we are. So, what I would hope, what I plan to do and what we are doing is supporting Ukraine in this immediate task of prevailing in its effort to defend itself that is crucially important. I think everybody would agree. And I think the government here and the people here would agree that another important task is and will be and will remain the reform effort, which will secure Ukraine for a future for Ukrainian children and their children.



I began to see more clearly that the right wing was orchestrating a systematic attack against not only universities but also against public school education. However, it has only been in the last few years that I realized how ubiquitous this assault was. The appointment of Betsy DeVos as Secretary of Education under Trump was a message that meant the right-wing were more powerful than anyone had yet realized. The attack on public education is now an all-out assault.
On his campaign website, under the heading “Protect Conservative Values,” Vance complains that “hundreds of billions of American tax dollars” get sent to universities that “teach that America is an evil, racist nation.” These universities “then train teachers who bring that indoctrination into our elementary and high schools.” The speakers and presenters at this conference read like a “who’s who” of Trump loyalists and big lie theorists.





I look out and see lawyers with Magna and Summa Cum Laude degrees from Yale, Harvard, Cornell, Brown, and other Ivy League Universities who can fashion legal arguments designed to circumvent and pervert any sane person’s idea of justice. They have corrupted our Criminal Justice System into a Criminal Injustice System. The winner in a court room is the one with the most money who can hire the best and brightest lawyers. An argument by one defense attorney claims that a self-styled vigilante shooting three unarmed people is a tragic case of self-defense. Another defense lawyer for three murdering racists suggests that the victim in the case was shot because he had come to Satilla Shores “in his khaki shorts with no socks to cover his long, dirty toenails.”
I look out and see corporate executives who will ignore the danger posed to the environment and climate because they can make more money today than by creating a sustainable system. I see too many people willing to “shop till they drop.” A materialistic mentality that supports the greed endemic in Corporate America. A focus on short-term thinking that drains the earth of the resources it needs for sustainability in order to reap mega-profits today. The “hell with the future” is the motto of Corporate America.
Is there any meaning to what I am seeing? Am I just getting too old? Is my brain incapable of understanding things anymore? Journalists are murdered because they report the truth. Innocent people are slaughtered while they watch a Christmas parade. A pregnant woman is shot eleven times on her doorstep. Fifty or more people rob a series of stores in what the news calls “mass grab fests.” A six-year-old child is killed in a car seat by some maniac with road rage. There is no bottom to the bizarre. No one can imagine what the next day will bring. All attempts to discover what is causing these problems or how they can be stopped seem futile. They are meaningless crimes without rhyme or reason in a world that George Orwell would never have imagined possible. Up is down, right is wrong, facts and truth do not exist, everything is fake. There is no sanity.
This morning while doing a 4-mile run in the Casa Grande Mountains, I thought a lot about his advice. I realize that much of what I have said above could be considered a rant. I would like to think it was somewhat of a catharsis. Another friend told me yesterday that I sounded like a man in despair. I resonated with the word despair. I regard optimism as ideologically unsound given our present world. Many people have advised me to stay hopeful. There is a fine line between hopeful and optimism. I am not sure I can manage the divide. Despair on the other hand fits my mood just fine. Despair is defined as: “The complete loss or absence of hope.”
We have elected people that will support an insurrection against free and fair elections. The most important element of Democracy. People that prefer to ignore that on January 6th, we almost had a coup against democracy in America. On November 17th, we had these same people vote to ignore the censuring of one of their comrades who parodied the killing of an opposition opponent.
I look out my window and see a public school system that is being dismantled by racists, bigots, elitists, and sexists who do not want the schools to actually teach anything that might be construed as controversial. Two thousand five hundred years ago, Socrates was executed for trying to teach the children of the Athenian elite to think for themselves. Schools and educators are still being attacked for trying to teach children to think. How can our future generations create a better world when they are besieged with information that keeps them in a past that never existed and feeds them myths about the way the world works?
Will the USA survive? All great empires have eventually declined. It took 300 years for the Roman Empire to fall after it began its decline. We are witnessing the decline of the American Empire. How long will it take to fall is well beyond my ability to foresee. If history is any indication, it will take many years and the decline will be gradual but punctuated by episodes of tragedy and elation. The tragedies will far outnumber the elations. Study any system in decline and you can see the gradual disintegration that accompanies all declines. It is already clear that our Public Education, Political Systems and Legal Systems are in decline. Trying to stop the declines is futile. You cannot stop the decline of an old bridge or an old building. You must rebuild from the ground up. Sadly, I see neither the drive nor the desire to do the work that needs to be done to help restore democracy in America.





The abyss It is so big that there is no bridging it. None of the sides can see the other side. None of the sides has any common ground with the other side. None of the sides understands the language that the other side speaks. We might as well be earthlings talking to Martians. There is no lingua franca. Many of the “well-meaning” experts exhort both sides to try harder to bridge the gap or to work more diligently to listen to the other side. It seems to be assumed that all it will take to jump the gulf is good intentions. I cry bullshit on this. As the old aphorism goes, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” It will take more than good intentions to heal the wound that infests our country.
The wants advertised on the TV and in the media are never fulfilling. We have a nation of brainwashed consumers who mistakenly think that more toys, bigger houses, more guns, and luxury cars will make them happy. We are a nation on a never-ending treadmill of consumer materialism where like rats we keep spinning the wheel and hoping to find happiness, but happiness never comes, and drugs take its place.
As the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, the tensions in society grow ever more divisive. We see more road rage, more senseless shootings, more violence between men and women, less loyalty between employers and employees. The underpinning of society that should be based on human integrity and morality is replaced with an opportunism based on an amoral value system. Whatever we can get as long as we break no laws is considered to be moral. We see most politicians that have no commitment to anything except to collect more money so that they can stay in office. Their highest goal is to help the rich get richer, which of course includes themselves.
I am not talking about the devil here or about spirituality. I am talking about a kind of insidious propaganda that has been spread by many groups and individuals. In this propaganda, one side of America is labeled as moral, ethical, righteous, and just. The other side is the opposite. The other side is everything negative. The other side is a composite of all the demons and evils that Americans believe in. The other side are communists, fascists, atheists, anti-democratic, anti-patriotic and un-American. One side is good. The other side is evil incarnate. You cannot talk to evil. You cannot discuss with the devil why he wants your soul. You cannot debate with Satan over the values that he has. Heaven and hell do not have weekly discussion groups. The language heard today, and what the media publishes drips with hate, innuendo, and disdain. The language fosters violence. I doubt the Founding Fathers ever conceived that the First Amendment would protect such speech. There are three elements that contribute to a hate speech culture that demonizes the other side:
Malicious labeling is the name calling that goes on between both sides today wherein each side is labeled. You can hear it on almost every talk show program in America today. Name calling and name labeling. Commie pinko leftists! Intellectual elites! Radical socialists! Racist rednecks! Fascist dictators! Politicians, commentators, newscasters, and radio talk show hosts all use malicious labels to insult and demean those they disagree with. What have we let this country become when we allow such name calling? This kind of hyperbole demonizes the other side and creates a divide that cannot be overcome by rational conversation.
I do not think that the Founding Fathers of our nation believed that Government was evil. Certainly, they felt that there could be too much government intrusion on the rights of the populace. They invoked certain safeguards to protect both human rights and states rights. Nevertheless, they did not demonize government and not a single one of the Fathers ever referred to government as evil. Edmund Burke, the famous English conservative said, “The government that governs best is the government that governs least.” He never said, “government was evil.” It has become common place to hear refrains denigrating the role and necessity of government. This steady drumbeat of antigovernmental rhetoric has created a group of people that have no value for government and who support the idea that government should be abolished.
A few years ago I began to wonder why groups like the KKK, Aryan Brotherhood, Antifa, The Proud Boys and many other such groups advocating violence against the government were not labeled as Terrorist Organizations. I asked a lawyer this question and he replied, “it is all politics.” I found that almost all the groups listed by the Southern Poverty Law Center as “hate groups” were designated as “extremist groups.” This means that they are not illegal, and they have the right to organize, march, rally and basically spread their hate across America. In 2019, The SPLC listed 940 hate groups across the USA. If any of these groups was labeled as a “Terrorist Group,” they would be on the same list as the Taliban, Boko Haram, The Mafia, Mexican Cartels and Al Qaeda. What is the difference between an extremist group and a terrorist group? It might surprise you to learn that a terrorist organization is defined as follows:
If this definition does not apply to the groups that tried to storm the US Capital on January 6th, 2021, I do not know what does. Just yesterday the Canadian government labeled the Proud Boys as a Terrorist Organization. This delegitimizes the group and takes their rights away. For Canada, it is a start. I am wondering when we are going to get started in the USA on such an effort. The First Amendment was never construed to allow hate speech and the advocating of violent actions to overthrow the government. Why do we not have the political will to outlaw these groups? We seem to have little compunction in penalizing Black groups like the Black Lives Matter Movement or the Black Panthers. We have a different standard when it comes to White Supremacy groups.
The newspapers, TV and the Internet are today the major carriers for the hate and vituperation that has spread across America. On one side of the divide, we find the NY Times, the Washington Post and CNN News. On the other side, we find the NY Post, the Washington Examiner and Fox News. There are countless other purveyors of extreme and fanatical views. Each side reeks of headlines supporting nonobjective views and biased reporting. If objective reporting ever existed in the USA, it has been murdered and buried by the most pervasive media to ever exist. The media carries the hate and violence that is created by politicians, pundits, radio commentators and hate groups and ensures that it gets widely disseminated. Without the media, much of the divide would never have occurred. Hate needs a platform to be spread and the media is more than happy to host anything that it believes will sell itself and its advertising. 








Twenty-three years later, when Douglass gave his speech, the turmoil in the United States over the issue of slavery was growing. It had always been a major source of dissension in the United States, but things were coming to a boiling point. The Dred Scott decision had recently been rendered by the US Supreme Court. This decision held that black people were not citizens and that slaves could not sue for freedom. In March of 1857, James Buchanan was sworn in as the 15th President of the USA. Buchanan was no friend of the abolitionists and he joined the Southern leaders in attempting to admit Kansas as a slave state. He strongly supported the Dred Scott decision and today he would be considered an ardent racist. The contrast between Lincoln who was elected four years later and Buchanan in terms of their policies towards slavery was the final straw that led to the Civil War.


Today we are witnessing a descent into tyranny and demagoguery the likes of which have never before been seen in America. We have a President who lies whenever he speaks. We have a Republican party that abhors social justice and will do everything they can to suppress the rights of Americans to vote. We have a base of supporters for Trump that are racist, fascist, and anti-democratic. Lured by whatever sirens they listen to; they support the right of Trump to do whatever he wants to do. They call him their Messiah and voice unconditional support for his attacks on the press, minorities, immigrants, women, blacks, Latinos, disabled, foreign countries and even the disabled. A President who is willing to sacrifice thousands of lives to support his quest for a second term.

required be different? Could children hear the same frequencies as rats?
seem like there was any long-term strategic plan here.



