Aging Capriciously

Have you noticed the increase in guns in the USA?  The increase in concealed carry laws and the increase in handguns sold seems to be paralleled by the increase in Gay marriage laws and the increase in Gay rights.  I bet most of you did not notice this fact.  I think it suggests something very obvious:  Gays are pushing for more guns on the streets because “Handguns lead to more Gay rights.”  That’s right folks, those people pushing for more permissive gun laws are the same people pushing for more Gay rights.  Fags want guns so that we will become powerless when they take over the USA.  (Listen to “Probably Gay, the Homophobia Song”)    

“Any person 21 years of age or older, who is not prohibited possessor, may carry a weapon openly or concealed without the need for a license….A political subdivision may not enact any ordinance, rule or tax affecting the ownership, transportation, possession, purchase, transfer or use of firearms or ammunition.  In addition, a political subdivision of this state shall not require or maintain a record, list or database containing the personally identifying information of the person who buys, sells, leaves for repair or consignment or leaves for temporary storage, any weapon owned by that person.”  —- Arizona Gun Law — NRA -ILA

That’s right!  It’s a plot by homosexuals (people who have only one sex) to subvert the USA and turn us into a country dominated by Gays who will have all the guns.  I will bet you did not notice that the guy you just saw walking around with the big Glock strapped to his belt was a Fag!  I have noticed that down here in Arizona with the most permissive gun laws in the USA that Gay men all have guns.  I am worried that I will be forced to suck cock by a Gay male with a big gun and thereby turned into a raving homosexual.  It is really scary.  I no longer feel safe on the street at night.  And did you know that it is all because of the religious right?

1 Corinthians 6:9-11
“Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people-none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.” 

That’s right!  The religious right is behind Gay rights.  The religious right have created this problem with all their pompous ravings about God hating fags.  Now all the fags are getting guns to protect themselves from Gay hating gun toting Christians.  “When guns are allowed only Gays will have guns.”  More and more we keep hearing about how God has condemned Gays to a barren-less existence.  Gays cannot go to heaven.  Gays will be punished.  Gays cannot propagate.  Gays cannot spread the word of God or at least create more Gays or something like that.

After thinking and worrying about this problem for some time, I have decided to go right to the source of the problem.  That’s right, God!  If my pastor, priest, rabbi, swami, minister, shaman, or imam all say that God hates Fags, then I am going to find out why.  What has got God’s drawers all wadded up about Gays?  Was God molested by a Fag when he was young?  Or is God a closet Fag who has a subliminal hatred towards Gays because he/she (God just might be a Lesbian Fag) cannot admit his own sexuality.  Which way does God roll?   I have invited God down for an interview.  She/he graciously accepted.  The following is our conversation. 

John:  Thank you God for accepting my invitation to come down and talk to us today.

God:  No problem John.  I was just creating a few more universes.  Something I do in my spare time.

John:  Sounds like fun. I will bet that keeps you really busy.

God:  Not as busy as you might think. It only takes about six days and then I rest on the seventh.

John:  Well, I invited you here today to clarify a few points.  The major point is about homosexuals, fags, lesbians and Gays.

God:  Happy to answer any questions you have John.

John:  Well, there are many people who believe that the Bible is your word and in the Bible are many references to your hatred and animosity towards Gay people.

God:  Look John, I don’t deny that I gave some guidance to you people down here when it came to how to live a proper life, but you know as well as I do how screwed up communication can get.  “He said, she said, I said” and before you know it “God is against Gays.”  This Bible you talk about is not a very consistent book and much of what is in there is folklore or comes from your own twisted human interpretations of what I told the prophets.

John:  Let me give you a quote directly from the Bible:

“If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltness is upon them.” — Lev. 20:13

God:   Did not your prophet Jesus say that I was a God of Love?  Why would I want anyone to be put to death?  You people down here have a penchant for killing.  I gave you all free will and you use it to maim, attack, hurt, malign, and murder with any number of rationales for your actions.  I created some people who are Gay and some who are straight.  Do you not think that I who have the power to create Heaven and Earth could have simply not created Gay people?

John:  Do you mean to say God that you could have just created all straight people and not put any Gay people on the planet Earth?

God:  What do you think John? I have created stars, galaxies, planets and universes beyond your imagination.  I created the first plants, animals and humans.  Could I not have simply created a planet with all Gay people or all straight people?  Did I need to let you have sex organs to populate your small planet?  Could I not have simply created six billion humans with no penchant or ability for sexual activity?

John:  Ah! I am glad you raised the issue of sexuality.  Can you tell me “why did you make us sexual creatures?”

God:  Isn’t the answer obvious John?  Look at all the fun you have with sex!  Sex is your biggest recreational activity.  And sometimes you get children out of these unions and sometimes you don’t.  Sex is fun anyway.  It says in your Bible that sex is for procreation but millions of you have sex every night with no intention of procreation.  In fact, from where I view the Earth, millions of you have sex every night with people whom you are not even married to and this when many of you are already married.

John:  Why create the possibility of recreating ourselves?  You could have simply made us immortal or simply replaced each of us as we died.  This would have saved a lot of problems for the human race.

God:  Have you not noticed how many of you love children?  I wanted to make life interesting for you.  What would your lives be without the children that many of you have?  Your children make you into mini-gods.  Parents are the gods to their children, like I am the parent to you.  I am your God and I am your parent.  But I never said that everybody would have children nor that there would not be many children without parents. There are good parents and bad parents.  That is the free will that I created for humanity.

John:  Well, Gays cannot have children through the natural birth process.

God:  So what!  Are there not many people who give up their children or children who do not have parents?  Many of you humans are not fit to be parents.

John:  Sounds like you are saying that you don’t have anything against homosexuality.

God:  I created homosexuals, bisexuals, heterosexuals, asexuals and many other kinds of sexuals. These are all my creations.  What is it your Bible says about God’s Creations?

“He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end. I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one’s lifetime.”— Ecclesiastes 3:11

I did not say I made anything ugly or anything without a purpose.  You might never understand my reasons or purposes because they are beyond human understanding.

John:   Well God, we have a lot of people down here speaking in your name that are preaching hatred for Gays as well as preaching many other types of hatreds.

God:   I sent Jesus to straighten this all out but you simply crucified him.  Nailed him to a cross.

John:  Could you send someone else down to tell all these would be Christians to leave Gay people alone and let them live their own lives?

God:  Look around and you will see that I already have.  You humans have hard hearts unless of course one of your own is Gay and then that seems to change everything.  I may have made a mistake when I gave you all free will because you seem to use it mostly for doing evil rather than doing good.

John:  Would you send another flood or perhaps a large earthquake or meteor to destroy the world and start over?

God:  Perhaps, but only if I thought things were so hopeless here and that everything you were doing was evil.  I still see a great deal of potential in humanity.  There are many good people among you who spread love and not hate.  Many of you who are not Gay haters or religious bigots or racists or zealots. I would never destroy your world when there are so many good people trying to make my world a better place.

John:  Then to summarize.  You don’t hate Gays?

God:  I have no concept of the word “hate.”  You are all my creatures.  Everything that crawls, digs, walks, swims or flies is something that I created and something that I love. 

John:  Thank you God for taking the time to meet with us today and give us your thoughts. 

Time for Questions:

Do you hate Gays? Why?  Do you think Gays should not be allowed to marry? Why? If you do not hate Gays, what do you do to help them in their fight against prejudice and discrimination?  You cannot sit on the fence and do nothing.

Life is just beginning.

“Perhaps we should worry less about judging people for being Mormon or Baptist or Muslim or gay or straight or black or white or Latino or by their religious or political brands and worry more about electing thoughtful, serious and ethical politicians on both sides of the political isle who are willing to work together for progress.” —- Charity Sunshine Tillemann-Dick

“I believe marriage is between a man and a woman. I am not in favor of gay marriage. But when you start playing around with constitutions, just to prohibit somebody who cares about another person, it just seems to me that’s not what America’s about. Usually, our constitutions expand liberties, they don’t contract them.” —- Barack Obama