I am the Lord High Master. “So, I shall say it, so it shall be true.” “No one is judged except through me.”
In the last few years, I have judged many fake Christians. I have judged many so-called followers of Christ who are liars and hypocrites. Christians in name only because they do not carry the true message of Jesus.
It is my role in life to judge. Only I can decide. Only I can see through to the heart of man or woman to tell if they are a true Christian. Only I can tell who will go to heaven and who will go to hell.
It is a terrible burden, but I carry it proudly. Just ask me or better yet just tell me what kind of a car they drive, and I will tell you if they are a true Christian. I can often tell by the hat they wear or the t-shirt they are wearing. Sometimes their name is a giveaway. Names like Billy Bob and Ray Jean are dead giveaways.
How did I get this superpower? The ability to spot a pseudo-Christian from a real Christian. I was not born with this power. Somewhere along the journey of my life, it came upon me like a call from God. Judge them! Judge them! Judge them! I could hear it in my mind.
At first I was criticized. “Judge not others lest ye be judged yourself,” I was told. But Jesus himself judged. He condemned the Scribes and Pharisees. He judged the money lenders in the temple.
Besides, there was this voice in my head that said, “Condemn the false Christians. Do not let them get away with their lies and hypocrisy.”
What else could I do? I was put on this earth to separate the phonies from the true followers of Jesus. It is an awesome responsibility. Some days I wonder if I am up to it. Then I remember that I am.
There are thousands if not millions of would-be Christians who profess to follow the words of Jesus, but whose deeds condemn them daily.
Occasionally, however, my magnificent gift of judgment presents me with troublesome questions. The following are questions about comments that I have heard other “Christians” make:
- Would Jesus say that Democrats can’t be Christians?
- Would Jesus order anyone to kill another human being?
- Would Jesus say that greed is good?
- Would Jesus say that mercy is for the weak?
- Would Jesus take his time each day to find ways to vilify his critics?
- Would Jesus tell his followers to abuse, ridicule or inflict pain on a non-follower?
I would have to confess that I am not always a robust follower of Jesus. I still lash out at people who insult or abuse me.
I would inflict mortal pain on anyone who tried to hurt someone I loved.
But as I have been told by many Christians, “The Lord works in wondrous ways.” Perhaps my being assigned to judge others is one of the Lord’s miracles.
I can usually identify a false Christian from fifty yards. Seventy-five yards if I have my glasses on. Bumper stickers are especially useful. God apparently communicates extensively through automobile decals.
So, who gets to decide who is a Christian and who is not a True Believer in Jesus? IMHO, certainly not anyone who tries to tell you that Jesus did not exist. Here are the main qualifications for anyone who wants to make these decisions:
- You must not be worried about what others will think of you. They are probably going to hell anyway.
- You must have read at least some of the New Testament
- You should belong to a Christian church even if you never go
- You should be able to stick to your decision even when you later find out that you are wrong
- You must have a bumper sticker or window decal in your vehicle that says:
- Make America a Christian Nation Again
- Would Jesus appoint me to decide who is a real Christian?
The last question troubles me occasionally, so I try not to think about it.
If you feel that you can meet at least one of these six qualifications, please join me in my ongoing campaign to root out all the phony pompous egotistical asses that think they are real bona-fide Christians.
This morning I received a disturbing letter. Apparently another organization has been established to determine who is and is not a Christian.
They have reviewed my qualifications.
I didn’t make the cut.
I intend to appeal.
I like Number 7 a great deal
Sep 23, 2026 @ 10:19:54
Funny and ironic John that you would post this today. I just published my related second blog-post on the subject of say Christianity, What is it Today and Why it is So Confusing? That’s not the title though. However, it relates more to why Christians have never had a unified teaching, theology, practices, or authentic exegesis of their (heavily contaminated) Greek Scriptures.
So as this relates to your post here, I seriously doubt ANY Christian ever could accurately determine who is a real Christian or who isn’t.
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Sep 23, 2026 @ 12:33:07
I shall read your post with relish Professor. Perhaps it will give me more insights on deciding. 🙂
In the meantime, I will just have to carry the torch for those who cannot tell :). It is funny though. Coincidence or great minds dealing with the subject subject?
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Sep 23, 2026 @ 12:52:28
Professor, I read your blog post Apples to Oranges. Your knowledge and erudition of the early development of Christianity is inspiring and shall I say awesome. Far beyond anything I have learned either in Catholic School or my 44 Jesuit retreats. It was very interesting. So much analysis that was insightful. Two things stood out in my mind. The first where you note:
“For these reasons, the issue of Hellenism can be viewed as a larger issue of openness to foreign cultures and influences, a conflict which was foremost in biblical times and which continued into the Late Second Temple period and Jesus’ lifetime.”
It seems we still have that tendency in most of the world.
The second is the evolution of Paul and his teachings into something that Jesus would be aghast at. I read a number of books about Paul a few years ago and to me anyway, it seems his teachings are currently more followed by Christian Nationalists and Evangelicals than anything that Jesus taught. I am sure you have a more nuanced view of my assertions which are pretty general and broad. By the way, how do I subscribe to your site or get notices of your postings and how do I comment?
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Sep 23, 2026 @ 13:58:24
In regard to subscribing to my blog, on my “Home” page where it shows my last 3-4 blog-posts, over on the right-hand column you’ll find “FOLLOW THE PROFESSOR:” and you can enter your email address there, then press “Free the Puppets!” 😄 my little jab at people who are lazy and just want to be told what to do, what to say, and what & how to believe. I offer liberation! 😉 (I gist)
Couldn’t agree more. The phobias of human teachings and nature run deep to this day, especially Xenophobia, and historically speaking anti-Semitism began with early Rome with statesmen like Marcus Tullius Cicero who frequently slurred Jews, again demonstrating my point of the sharp, deep schism between Hellenism and Homeland Sectarian Jews.
Regarding Saul/Paul, yes, his doctrines and theology could also be argued to be suddenly anti-Semitic after his epileptic seizure on the Road to Damascus (Saul the Apostate – Part I). And then after the total collapse of the early Jerusalem Church and destruction of the Temple, it was his heavily Hellenized neo-version of Apotheosis in a Christ that greatly appeared to the rest of the Gentile Roman people.
Let me know if you have any problems subscribing. I’ll getcha one way or another! 😈🤭
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Sep 23, 2026 @ 16:36:27
Nope, found it. Thanks I like your home page site. You look like you are very interested in religions.
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Sep 23, 2026 @ 16:47:59
Professor, I wrote this blog 11 years ago. I have a fictitious dialogue with someone who defends the happenings in this story while I attack them. Love to see what you think about the story.
The Tragic Deaths of Ananias and Sapphira: What This Story Tells Us about the Decline and Fall of Religion.
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Sep 23, 2026 @ 12:49:53
I understand an interest in identifying hypocrisy within religion. And I see your tone is meant to be humorous here too: “God apparently communicates extensively through automobile decals.” But does a Christian identity mean something to you personally? I’m just curious if your experience is different from mine, perhaps because you still associate with churches socially, or have more of a cultural connection? Whereas I have never set foot in any church since my belief changed? I’m curious because the Christian identity didn’t remain significant to me after my beliefs changed. I haven’t been able to approach Christianity in a secular way. I look at aspects of my experience in religion though- like community gathering and shared activity- choir singing, discussions, community aid and care, ministering- I can evaluate those traditions and I consider how religious traditions impacted me. And I try to continue many of those activities in non-religious settings. It seems like I can study the foundations of other religions and philosophies and try to learn wisdom from them. But Christian theology I can’t really meaningfully approach anymore, my experience with it is too loaded. I don’t find significance in identifying as a non-literal believer, or culturally Christian or with Christ-conscious type groups. And you write a lot about Christianity, with a lot of respect for the teachings and messages and I find it that remarkable that you can do that! Thanks for the interesting read!
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Sep 23, 2026 @ 13:29:19
Well, I once hated all organized religions. I decided I was an atheist when I turned 12 years old. I since say that I am 75 percent Atheist and 25 percent agnostic. I wrote a very anti-religion blob a few years ago. However, I also like to think that I am open to some of the good stuff that religions can do or say or write. I have studied and participated in many different religious ceremonies from African Methodist Episcopal, to Bahai, to Jewish, to Mormon, to Gospel Revivals, Unitarian, Zen, Hindu and more. I think I learn a little from each. I do not belong to any church. Sometimes I cannot understand how anyone can believe in God but than I try to see it from there point of view. I will put the links to three blog posts following that can give you some idea of where I stand. I hope these help. Let me know what you think after you have had a chance to read them.
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Sep 23, 2026 @ 15:31:36
That makes sense! Thank you for sharing your experience with me! I wrote a reflective comment on the 2nd post you listed here. Thanks for sharing these posts, it really got me thinking!!
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Sep 24, 2026 @ 16:18:16
5千年中国 “古地理方位学 ” ——向全人类、全世界公证：在大地西北方 “天门位、男主人位 ” 欧洲兴盛的《圣经》——是真正的 “天堂真理 ” ！
大宇宙 “天、地、人” 全息对应统一 ！见微，可知著 ！
✚✚✚对于欧美人民的最坚实、最大的历史证明是：欧洲西北方 “天门位” 的北欧 6国国旗——全是耶稣 “十字旗” ！但因人口较少，最终，神选择了偏西方、人口较多、拥有3面 “十字旗” 合一的英国成长为 ——大英帝国！向全世界传播先进文明、民主制度！
与英国相似，美国位于全球陆地拼合的 西方 “金” 位、近于西北方 “天门位、男主人位 ”，自然的，与坐于天父右手边的救世主耶稣有更多 “同频共振” ！美国一直主导全球政治、军事！………………天、地、人全息对应，得到宇宙神圣能量的助力、支持！
《圣经》的 “诞生地、兴盛地 ” ——在地理方位上也 “全息优越于” 地球各大宗教！
特别是：《圣经》地居《古兰经》的西北方 “天门位、男主人位 ” ！。天、地、人全息对应：犹太人是亚伯拉罕正妻一脉所生！身为其 “血缘兄弟” 的阿拉伯人——是亚伯拉罕正妻的埃及婢女一脉所生！千年以来的相关文明发展历史，也一直自然的符合这一血脉规律、历史地位。
如果世界穆斯林们了解了这一信息，大多数人会放弃征服《圣经》世界的想法，更加友爱！
同步对应：以《圣经》为国教的列国，政治文明、政治地位、……、科技发展——全方位先进于世界！实践是检验真理的标准！
..
另一方面，地球、人体相互同步对应上：地球 “胸部 ” 一线的北方列国，欧美各国，包括中国、韩国、日本，也一直更有发展气魄、工作能力！
深肤色的非洲人，对应人体同样的深色肝脏部位！
耶稣升天后，坐在天父的右手边！右位、西方尊于左位、东方！全息对应，国际外交中，都请访客坐于右手边、西方，以示尊敬！人类公路交通多行右手边！人类多使用右手！——因为，人类是按神的形象创造的，自然，神的一切——会微妙的影响人类！
世界各国国旗，在人的潜意识上，多以国旗上的西北角天门位——为 “尊位” ！
千年中国历代王朝的国都，大多 “天地人” 全息对应——建于西北方 “天门位、男主人位” ！毛泽东也是转移到中国西北方黄土高原延安后，才真正扎下根基，顺应 “天门位、男主人位” 之地力、天命，居高临下，赢得中国政权！
今日人类写字，多在纸张的西北角 “天门位、男主人位” 起笔！显示了神力微妙主导人类！
亚洲多高原，应有神力安排——有助于东方、左手边的阴柔偏弱人类——得到更多身心磨砺、锻炼！中国山地人民总是战力更强！而平原人民战力偏弱、官民易于懈怠……。
亚洲多高原，同步对应，中国北方四合院建筑中，左手边的东侧房，总是特意的要略高于右手边的西侧房！让偏于弱势的左手边的东侧房——得到更多一点的气势能量！实现对家人的天地能量的 “均衡滋养” ！
亚洲西藏高原，对应人体的心脏动力部位 ！当然，耶稣再临地球后！地球内外都将充满光明——得到光明的净化、提升！
.
中国古地理方位学——最终仅仅只是一种地理学术知识，证明 “宇宙全息统一对应” 的神的创造工程的设计！对其有一般性了解即可以。过深研究会误入世界星相学的偏途……！
真正的生命大真理——是《圣经》天父上帝！神子耶稣是人类的道路、真理、生命！
——神为何将 “地理方位学 ” 超前放进地球最巨大民族——东方 “生门位 ” 中国 13亿汉族人中 ？
仅仅是为帮助地球最大民族 13亿汉族人——最终认识神圣真理《圣经》？
泛神论、无神论、“天人合一” 、以天地人 “全息对应文化 ” 为千年文化基础的中国，在神圣《圣经》信仰、神的前定上——会后来居上 ？
.
中国位于东方 “长子位” 、地球胸部，如果美国官民远离神圣信仰、衰落了……，自然的，中国 “长子位” 以其人口优势、产业实力——会取代 “男主人位” 美国的国际地位！这是中国成为美国最大竞争对手的—— “全息统一对应” 的原因！神的创造前定！
但是，无神论中国，有现实政治的局限性，可能会继续长期留在 “长子位” 上，难以突破对《圣经》的认知……。
如果美国特朗普政府，聪明透顶，以中国古地理方位学——大力度向全世界各国人民宣传——《圣经》的全球真正 “天堂真理” 地位！
那么，美国，必将赢得更多神的助力！必将继续巩固美国的——全球主导地位！
大多数穆斯林国家、人民也将放弃——征服欧美《圣经》世界的想法……，进而更深度了解《圣经》！增进国际和平、友好！
在此，也希望西方各国人民、博客，尽一己之力——宣传《圣经》的全球真正 “天堂真理” 地位、“天门位” 地位！
博客 https://home5077.wordpress.com/ 上有更多阐释！
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Sep 28, 2026 @ 16:12:00
Lots of interesting thoughts here:
The right hand of the sitting Heavenly Father! Right position, West direction Zunyu, left position, East direction! Full breath, international diplomacy, international diplomacy, right hand to the west, respect! A lot of public road traffic on the right hand side! The right hand that many people use! ——Cause, the human category is divine, artificial, natural, divine everything—the subtle influence of the human category!
The national flags of all the countries of the world, people’s subconscious knowledge, and the position of the northwest corner of the flags of many countries—this is the “honor”!
Capital of China’s Dynasty for 1,000 years, Dadu “Heaven, Earth, and People” All Breath of Life – Northwest Jianyu “Heaven’s Rank, Male Master’s Rank”! Mao Shudongya is transferred to Yan’an on the Loess Plateau in the northwestern part of China, and has the talent of Zhenji, the “heaven’s rank, male master’s rank”, the power of the land, the destiny of heaven, the high rank, the wealthy Chinese government!
Today’s human type writing, many papers are written in the northwestern corner of “Tianmen position, male master position” is inaugurated! The divine power has been shown to be a subtle leader!
Can you tell me what it means to you?
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Oct 08, 2026 @ 18:54:28
I have to admit, the bumper stickers and appeals process made me laugh! But beneath the humor, I think you’re raising some questions worth considering.
What’s interesting to me is that Jesus Himself was often very direct in confronting religious hypocrisy. In Matthew 23, some of His strongest words were directed toward religious leaders whose outward appearance of righteousness didn’t match their actions.
And Scripture actually places a greater responsibility on those who profess to follow God. In 1 Corinthians 5:12–13, Paul makes a distinction between holding fellow believers accountable and judging those outside the church.
So I think there’s a legitimate place for questioning whether someone’s words and actions align with the faith they profess.
Where I see an important distinction is between recognizing hypocrisy and claiming to know someone’s heart or eternal destination. Scripture reminds us that only God fully knows the heart (1 Samuel 16:7).
I also think those of us who call ourselves Christians need to be willing to hear criticism, examine ourselves honestly, and acknowledge when our actions have failed to reflect Jesus.
What I keep coming back to is this: Are we pointing people toward Christ through the way we live, or are we making it harder for them to see Him?
Your satire made me laugh, but it also raises a question I think believers should take seriously.
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Oct 10, 2026 @ 09:43:05
Thank you for taking the time to leave a very thoughtful comment that I think adds much gravitas to my thoughts and blog. I have a deep antipathy to any so called Christian church wherein a minister can call for Obama to be killed. I realize that I can and often am very judgemental but I cannot conceive of Jesus condoning such thoughts much less actions. Perhaps if more Christians stood up against such blasphemy we would have less of it. I often wonder whether I am reading the same words of Jesus as many others.
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Oct 12, 2026 @ 17:35:22
I agree that, as a Christian, I often see behavior that doesn’t align with what Scripture teaches, and I think it’s important that we acknowledge that rather than defend it.
But I also think there’s something broader about human nature worth considering. We can identify with a belief, a movement, or a set of values without always fully understanding what they represent—or examining whether our own actions actually reflect them. I don’t think that struggle is unique to Christians.
The distinction, though, is that calling ourselves Christians means professing to follow Christ and His teachings. So there should be an expectation that what we believe, what Scripture teaches, and how we live are aligned.
And when they aren’t, we should be willing to hear criticism, examine ourselves honestly, and return to Scripture rather than simply defend our behavior.
I think your question about whether we’re reading the same words of Jesus is an important one. Perhaps it should challenge all of us who claim to follow Him to spend more time examining what He actually taught and whether we’re living it.
I’ve appreciated this conversation and your willingness to share your perspective.
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Oct 14, 2026 @ 07:12:58
Thank you for taking the time to comment. I have always been a believer in that words matter. It gets me into trouble sometimes but I cannot imagine living and not saying what I think. John
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