Who and What is Really Running America Now?

Since the beginning of the Trump phenomenon (around about 2014), I have been wondering how anyone like Trump could have garnered so much support from his many fans, from Republicans, from sycophantic politicians, from rich oligarchs and from all spectrums of American demographics including young, middle aged, old, and even minorities.  How could a person who is so shallow, callous, bigoted and uninformed be leading a movement to destroy Democracy in America.  A man aided by millions of others willing to help him overthrow the ideas, beliefs and institutions that this country was founded upon.  It is question that has perplexed me for many sleepless nights.  I decided to use the power of AI to delve deeper into the issue.  I wrote and then submitted the following query to ChatGPT 5.0

Here is a difficult issue. America is obviously very polarized between those who seem bent on rolling back the clock and canceling many programs and benefits that seemed to help and those people who want to keep these programs. The CDC is one agency that has been targeted for cuts as well as the FDA and EPA. All organizations with programs designed to protect people. It appears as though these changes all come from the White House and the Republican Party. Some people say they are using plan 2025 as a blueprint for the changes being made. Frankly, I have a hard time believing that any politician or political groups are solely responsible for these changes. It looks to me like there must be more than the Heritage Foundation or Hudson Institute behind these plans. Can you find any major influencers in the USA who are bent on destroying democracy in favor of an autocracy? Or who want to do away with rule by the majority in favor of rule by an elite. I would like to know who are the major drivers and brains behind the changes going on and being made since the start of Trumpism?”

The following is the answer I received from AI in response to the above query. 

ChatGPT 5.0

You’re absolutely right to question the notion that any major shift—especially those threatening democratic norms—could be driven solely by one think tank or political party. While the Republican Party and its allies in the White House may be the most visible agents of change, scholars, journalists, and watchdogs have traced much of the intellectual fuel behind these transformations to a broader network of elite actors, think tanks, strategists, and influential theorists.

Here’s a breakdown of key players and ideas shaping the push toward autocratic‑leaning governance in the U.S.:

Think Tanks & Strategic Blueprints

Project 2025 (The Heritage Foundation and Allies)

  • Origin & Scope: Published in April 2023 by the Heritage Foundation, Project 2025 (or the “2025 Presidential Transition Project”) is a 920‑page policy and personnel blueprint aimed at consolidating executive power, gutting checks and balances, restructuring or eliminating federal agencies like CDC, FDA, and more Wikipedia+6Wikipedia+6Congresswoman Zoe Lofgren+6.
  • Impact on Agencies: It proposes splitting and weakening agencies like the CDC, altering FDA procedures, shifting funding away from NIH, and conditioning federal support on political loyalty American Public Health AssociationCongresswoman Zoe Lofgren.
  • Public Opposition: Advocates such as the ACLU and organizations like Democracy Forward warn the plan is extremist and risks dismantling democratic safeguards Democracy Forward+1.

Kevin Roberts – Chief Architect

  • Often referred to as the “mastermind” behind Project 2025, Kevin Roberts serves as its chief strategist. Critics argue the initiative would effectively enable an imperial presidency by dismantling institutional checks American Civil Liberties Union+4Wikipedia+4Wikipedia+4.

Intellectual Influencers: Philosophers of Autocracy

Curtis Yarvin (aka “Mencius Moldbug”)

  • Ideas: Yarvin advocates replacing democracy with a corporate-style autocracy—think CEO-monarch—governed by a “board.” He coined “The Cathedral” to critique media and academia’s role in upholding liberal norms The New Yorker+2The Times of India+2.
  • Influence: His views have influenced high-profile tech magnates and political figures, including J.D. Vance, Michael Anton, and possibly Steve Bannon. He was even an informal guest of honor at Trump’s 2025 inaugural gala Wikipedia+1.
  • Public Profile: The New Yorker and The Guardian have highlighted his elevated role in mainstreaming authoritarian ideas The GuardianThe New YorkerThe Times of India.

Corporate and Mega-Donor Backing

  • Claremont Institute: Far from the lone voice, this think tank has become a central ideological hub for the movement, backed by mega-donors such as the DeVos family, Lynde and Harry Bradley Foundation, and Sarah Scaife Foundation. Their fellows and affiliates—like John Eastman—were involved in efforts to overturn the 2020 election Monthly Review.
  • Tech Powers: Billionaires like Peter Thiel, Elon Musk, and Vivek Ramaswamy are described as the “masters of the universe” supporting the broader political project. Thiel, notably, has said he no longer believes freedom and democracy are compatible Monthly Review.

Autocracy Across Borders

  • Viktor Orbán’s Influence: Hungary’s populist‑authoritarian leader has become a model for some American conservatives. His strategy parallels Project 2025 in structure and aims, and Hungarian think tanks and institutes are reportedly helping shape U.S. right-wing thinking Le Monde.fr.

Summary of Key Drivers

Role Key Figures & Entities
Think Tank / Blueprint Heritage Foundation (Project 2025), Kevin Roberts
Ideological Advisers Curtis Yarvin (Mencius Moldbug), Claremont Institute thinkers
Financial Backers DeVos family, Bradley Foundation, Scaife Foundation, Peter Thiel, Elon Musk, etc.
Transatlantic Influences Viktor Orbán and related Hungarian institutions

These forces are intertwined: think tanks craft the blueprint (Project 2025), ideological influencers provide theoretical cover (Yarvin), mega-donors fund and amplify (DeVos, Thiel), and foreign models inspire strategy (Orbán).

Broader Implications

  • Beyond a Single Party: While the GOP and Trump administration may be enacting these changes, the intellectual and financial network behind the shift is vast—cross-sector and multi-layered.
  • Threats to Governance: Experts warn that this structure—centralizing power, dismantling agencies, appointing loyalists—poses a real risk to democratic norms and the balance of powers Wikipedia+4Wikipedia+4AFGE+4Monthly Review+4The New Yorker+4The Times of India+4Monthly Review.
  • What’s at Stake: Independent institutions like CDC and FDA are vulnerable to both funding cuts and structural reorganization, which activists say imperils public health and democracy alike.

Conclusions:

I shared the above with a good friend and he was astounded.  It was hard for him to believe that anyone brought up on the American Dream could support an anti-democratic president and his sycophantic followers.  Indeed, thousands of people perhaps more like millions of people in America do not believe in the goals and ideals of our Founding Fathers.  The truth is that there has always been a fascist anti-intellectual and anti-democratic core of people in this country who have no dream of a democracy.  People who would substitute an autocratic and even fascist leader to run the country.  A leader (now in office) who even as I write this is bending to the whims of the men and women who want to destroy the dreams that made America great.

There is no “MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN.”  This motto is a lie designed to deceive Americans.  The goal is to destroy the dream of a society where Truth and Justice and Equality would prevail for all people.  The people behind this effort do not believe in democracy for the simple reason that they think you and I and millions of other Americans are too stupid to run this country.  They want an oligarchy of the rich and powerful to rule.  The job for the rest of us will be to work ourselves to death to make money to buy the crap that they sell on Madison Avenue, TV, Radio and mainstream newspapers.  Crap that every day they work to shove down our throats.  The more stuff you buy, the richer our Lords will be.  The elitist rulers of America will have the box seats to everything in life while you and I will get to hold the door open for them to enter.

“I know of no safe depository of the ultimate powers of the society but the people themselves; and if we think them not enlightened enough to exercise their control with a wholesome discretion, the remedy is not to take it from them, but inform their discretion.”
—Thomas Jefferson, 1820

 

“The Silence Weighs More”

“The Silence Weighs More”  by ChatGPT and J. Persico, mostly by Chat. 

You wake each day with a world on fire,
Yet choose the path of least desire—
To see, but not to raise a voice,
To name the wrong, then mute your choice.

But silence is not soft or kind,
It’s the heavy chain that grips the mind.
Each quiet hour, each averted gaze,
Is fuel to keep injustice ablaze.

The fear is real, that much is true,
But fear has never made hearts new.
Change is born in trembling hands,
In whispered truths and stammered stands.

Don’t wait to be the perfect light—
A flicker can ignite the night.
Your voice, though small, could be the spark
To guide a soul lost in the dark.

You say, “I’m just one,”—yes, and still,
One seed can split the hardest hill.
The world does not need flawless men,
It needs the brave to rise again.

So speak, even if your voice must shake.
Step forward, though the ground may quake.
The price of comfort is far too steep
When justice cries and you still sleep.

No, you don’t have to save the day—
But don’t just look the other way.
For every moment you pretend,
Another soul meets bitter end.

Rise not to be a hero crowned,
But simply one who stood their ground.
Let history say, when it recalls,
You saw the truth—and did not stall.

My Final Will and Testament – Risks – Reflection #6

download

Last year at my 40th Demontreville Retreat, one of the exercises that we were given by the Retreat Master included a very challenging set of thoughts.  The worksheet for the activity was labeled as “A Testament.” I took the worksheet and instructions home with me.  It had fourteen tasks or reflections to complete.  I did not desire to complete them during the retreat.  It is now almost a year since my retreat, and I have decided to make the mental and emotional effort necessary to complete this “Testament.”

The worksheet started with these instructions:

Imagine that this is the last day of your life on earth.  In the time that you have left, you want to leave a “Testament” for your family and friends.  Each of the following could serve as chapter headings for your “Testament.”

6.  These are the greatest Risks that I have taken in my life.

I have never really thought of myself as a risktaker.  First-born children are usually more pampered, and some believe that this results in them being less willing to take risks.  I know when it comes to physical things, I am not much of a risktaker.  I do not want to climb any mountains and I have only had one sky diving experience.  I am certainly not and have never been into what are called “Extreme Sports.”

When it came to business, I had always wanted to start my own company.  I have tried at least five times and have not really been very successful.  I attribute my failures to my lack of being willing to take risks when it comes to money.  I am very conservative financially.  I have shunned any  real monetary risks.  I tried starting a newspaper.  That did not go very well.  I also tried starting an on-line bookstore to focus on selling business related books. I invested some of our insurance money into the latter venture and lost every penny.  In both cases, failure did not lead me to getting up and trying again.  I took our losses and bailed rather than investing more money in either venture.

One risk that I have always taken was in terms of fighting.  Some of you might think fighting is wrong but I have always been willing to stand up to bullies and fight them either physically or emotionally.  Long before Trump  was being called a liar, I labeled him as such in my blogs.  In fact, when his first book “The Art of the Deal” came out, I wrote a review and basically described his book as worthless in terms of any useful financial advice.  I have written almost twenty blogs noting many reasons why the world would be better off with Trump in jail than running lose on the streets.

I have always written in my blogs what I think is the truth regardless of the circumstances.  Here in Arizona City, I was one of the few if not the only person in town to have a Hillary and Biden campaign posters in my front yard during the elections.  I was warned by my next-door neighbor that this might not be a good idea.  With Karen’s blessing, we left our posters up.

7-common-travel-risks-1524824532-1000X561

Another area that I have been willing to take risks in has been in terms of travel.  Karen and I have been to 44 countries now.  We went to China on our own two weeks before the Tiananmen Square Massacre.  We departed from the Shanghai airport for home the day before they closed it down.  We traveled over a great deal of China with a friend that we met there but also a great deal on our own.

Over the years and many trips, we have never gone on any large cruises.  We weigh the risks in traveling but we much prefer to travel alone.  I can’t imagine a trip where I have to go to any place at a specific time with a large group.  The one major exception to our travels with any pre-plans was our trip to South Africa.  A year or so ago, we went to South Africa on a custom tour.  We planned the trip with the cruise company.  During our trip we traveled with private guides to events and places that we had agreed on beforehand.  We have been warned many times about not going to places like Peru, Israel, Mexico, Russia and other countries.  With the exception of Russia which fell through because of Covid we have had wonderful trips in every country that we have visited.

I guess my final area of risk taking, besides being willing to try almost any food in the world, concerns my leaving home at 18 to join the military.  I decided to leave home without telling my parents that I was joining the miliary.  This was in 1964 during the Vietnam war and I thought that fighting communism in SE Asia was a patriotic thing to do.  Perhaps more important than that desire was my desire to leave home and see some of the world.  I wrote about my adventures in the United States Airforce in a three-part blog about five years ago.  If you really want to hear more about this story, go to https://agingcapriciously.com/2019/11/10/the-day-i-joined-the-airforce-part-one

Well friends, that’s it for this reflection.  I can’t think of any major risks I have taken that seemed either scary or frightening.  I have always been up for adventures but never much of a leader when it comes to breaking new trails.  I am a great follower though.  If you have any adventure planned, I would be more than happy to join you.

Next Reflection:    

  1. These are the sufferings that have seasoned me and made me more compassionate.

 

I Wonder as a I Wander

20210524_1igantiusstars

I have always loved the phrase “I wonder as I wander out under the sky” from a song written by American folklorist and singer John Jacob Niles.  It was first sung in 1944 by Pvt. Cecil Gant.  The record made it to number one on the Juke Box Race Records chart in 1944 and 1945.  It has probably been sung over a billion times and is a favorite among Christians during the holiday season.  The lyrics are as follows:

I wonder as I wander out under the sky

That Jesus my Savior did come for to die

For poor ordinary people like you and like I

I wonder as I wander out under the sky

Now many of you would know that I profess to be part Atheist and part Agnostic, so Jesus is not my savior.  However, I regard him as a great prophet and teacher of the human spirit.  Seldom have I read anything as significant as the Eight Beatitudes that Jesus gave in a sermon.  These eight messages tell us much about the man and speak volumes in terms of how we need to treat other human beings:

  1. Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
  2. Blessed are the meek: for they shall possess the land.
  3. Blessed are they who mourn for they shall be comforted.
  4. Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after justice: for they shall have their fill.
  5. Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
  6. Blessed are the clean of heart: for they shall see God.
  7. Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
  8. Blessed are they that suffer persecution for justice’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. — Matthew (5:3-10).

I wonder many nights when I am out under a clear sky.  I wonder what it all means.  I wonder what I am here for.  I wonder about friendship and loyalty.  I wonder about integrity and politics.  I wonder about the world and the climate.  I wonder if wars and murders will ever end.  I wonder if prejudice and discrimination will ever cease.  I wonder if abuse to women and gender-diverse people will ever end.  I wonder if religions will stop persecuting other religions.  I wonder if it was all worth living for.

A wise person once said that there are two “What Ifs.”  One deals with fear and can be paralyzing and enabling, “What if this happens?”  “What if I should fall or break a leg?”  “What if things should go wrong?”  The other “What If” deals with wonder and can lead to positive and rewarding insights.  Insights that raise life and humanity up and create a better world.  “What if we did this instead of this?”  “What if we could have peace instead of war?”  “What if we could eliminate the need for guns and weapons?”  “What if we valued humanity more than we valued money?”

I wonder what would happen if we chose hope and love over fear and greed.  I wonder as I wander out under the stars what life on this planet COULD be like.

Anxiety = Uncertainty =Anxiety

images

Some people have called me a control freak.  I suppose that may be why I am so good at planning.  For years, the most fun I had at the Process Management International consulting firm was when I was called on to help a client do strategic planning.  I preferred to call it strategic thinking.  I loved the challenges in trying to help a client set goals that they could accomplish or at least work towards.  Nothing is ever certain in strategic planning.  One of my favorite aphorisms was the comment by former President Eisenhower that “”Plans are nothing; planning is everything.”

dsm-5-criteria-for-generalized-anxiety-disorder-1393147_v2-902be69757414cc7a517ef3ca9838b59

But what is planning?  In my opinion it is an attempt to control the future.  It is a means of trying (Despite Yoda’s warning that there is no try.  “There is only do or do not.”) to ensure that the goals and outcomes and wishes and dreams that you desire will come to fruition.  You walk a tightrope when you do planning.  You must balance between two poles.  One pole is over- planning; the other pole is under-planning.  If you over-plan, you create a rigidity that can not be maintained in the face of change and unpredictable events as well as unintended consequences.  When you under-plan, you miss important factors that can jeopardize your intended outcomes and goals.  This is the Yin-Yang of strategic planning.

2022_AnxietyDisorders_TwitterWhat does anxiety and uncertainty have to do with planning?  This is an important connection.  Uncertainty in my opinion either causes or leads to anxiety.  The more uncertain we are, the more anxious we become.  Many people will not attempt new endeavors, leave home, eat new food, travel to new places, meet new people, take on adventures or worst of all “listen to new ideas.”  The uncertainty of these efforts creates anxiety.  The unknown consequences of doing something new brings some anxiety to most of us.  Change and newness can impinge on our efforts to maintain equilibrium and homeostasis in our lives.   New things can disrupt the natural order that we so carefully craft to protect ourselves, our family, and our identities.  “What if” can bring fear and panic to even the most courageous of us.

I am sure that each of us has various tolerances for change and each of us may have some coping mechanisms.  Sadly, some people cope by giving up, hiding away some place where they pray that change and uncertainty cannot find them.  This is the way they cope with uncertainty and prevent the dreaded anxiety.

download

The man who shot the little Black boy at his door recently and the woman who shot her Black neighbor on her porch are examples of anxieties caused by racist stereotypes that infect too many Americans.  Go out and meet your neighbor!  Go out and meet some Black people!  Such recommendations are useless in the face of the anxieties created by news media, White supremacists and long held tropes about African Americans and other minorities.

I like to think of myself as enlightened and non-racist.  Yet, only a few months ago, I went to my first traditional African American funeral for my friend Jay’s wife Gwen.  Realizing that I am nearly 77 years old and had never been to an African American funeral did not make me feel very proud of my own efforts to erase the divide that can exist between Black and White folks.  Who am I to tell you to go out and meet some people who are different than you?

download (1)However, when it comes to anxiety my solution is planning.  Karen would say I plan too much.  I don’t need to go raging into the night of old age, but I do not want to get in my crypt yet and turn off the lights.  Life has a way of closing in on us.  The curtains for each of us are indeed coming down and will someday be down for all of us, but we can slow their coming down.  As we age, we must push back.  Planning can help us to hold the curtains off for a little while longer.  But remember, “Plans are nothing, but planning is everything.”

800px_COLOURBOX26779991My theory is that I have been driven to reduce anxiety because I grew up with an abusive father.  My childhood was a daily diet of fear and uncertainty as to when or how badly my father would fly off the handle and take it out on me.  He might have had a bad day at the races, or something went wrong with his car, and it was all my fault.  So many things became my fault that I was always looking up expecting the sky to fall on me.  I looked under my bed and, in my closet, every night before going to sleep as a kid.  Years later I would check under my car and in my back seat before getting in my vehicle.  I never let anyone get on the inside track of me when walking down a sidewalk and I always look over my back when going to a public John.  I am not paranoid, and I do not think anyone is out to get me.  I simply want to be certain that I have an advantage just in case someone might be out to get me. 😊 Karen has learned to cope with my rather bizarre behavior and attributes it to my intrinsic anxiety.

My extreme caution has had one positive side effect.  I have learned to plan well and thoroughly.  Certainly, sometimes I miss the mark.  Planning is not a perfect activity.  No one has a plan or ever will have a plan that is 100 percent guaranteed.  That is why a good planner makes contingency plans.  Plans for plans you could say.  I call them backup plans.  If A does not work, then we will do B or C.  These plans have helped me to go more gently into the night.  I take more risks than many people my age.  I go to new places, meet new people, do new things, and eat new foods.  I am not raging but I am purposeful.

download

I am not the same person as I was when I was sixteen and my nickname was “Mad Pazz.”  I was so bent on killing myself that I took risks that today would seem unfathomable to me.  Now, I even purchase health insurance when traveling overseas.  Karen and I are going on a three-week trip to South Africa in October.  We will fly into Cape Town and spend a week there.  Then we will fly to Johannesburg where we will spend another week.  Then off to Kruger National Park for a four-day mini safari.  Back to Johannesburg and then off for three days to Victoria Falls.  Then return to Johannesburg and finally to Arizona.  We are on a custom tour and as of now, there is only Karen, me, and a guide for each portion of our trip.  I am looking forward to riding an elephant as I have never done that before.

I planned this trip and had the help of a tour company that has been great to work with.  Do I have some anxiety?  Yes!  Do I have some uncertainties?  Yes!  Will my plans all work out?  NO!  Of course not!  Something will go wrong.  Something unexpected will happen.  We will have some problems and I will reproach myself for not anticipating them.  I will have some moments where I will blame someone else for screwing things up.  And life will go on.  And if our trips are like the twenty-five or so other overseas trips that we have taken, this trip will be even more remarkable and unforgettable.

us

Which brings up a recurring anxiety that I have not yet discovered a plan for.  Will I be able to keep all these wonderful memories of my life and times with Karen where I can readily access them after I pass into the great beyond?  If I come back as a turtle or frog or elephant, will I remember all the good times we had together?  All the great places we went.  All the fabulous people we met.  If there is a heaven and I get there, can Karen and I still reminisce about the special times and places that we shared together?

remember-heaven

Maybe I can work out a backup plan just in case.  😊

Please Read This Caveat:

I have one caveat that should have been mentioned at the start of this blog.  There is a great deal of clinical anxiety that NO AMOUNT of planning, strategy, or thinking ahead will ever cure.  I spent years in therapy seeing different psychologists, reading everything I could on self-help, attending support groups, getting a BA degree and an MS degree in Psychology.  My early life seemed one large effort to overcome dreams of being murdered, being chased by something trying to kill me, being thrown down a dark pit and worst of all my OCD which became more and more embarrassing when I left home.  I tried to hide it as best I could.  If you have ever sat at a book shelf for hours trying to stop arranging the books so you could leave the room, you will have some idea of my self-loathing and mental anguish.  I still reap some of the fallout from my problems having been alienated from my only child since she turned 19.  I am sure she hated me as much as I hated my father when I was a child.  I did not make her life easy.

Somehow, I was lucky.  Some combination of age, therapy and planning, reduced all of my mental health issues to manageable proportions.  Somehow I did not kill myself or anyone else.  Today, life goes on for me when I can manage to control being so controlling.  Again, for me it is a two edged sword.

Fear in America:  An Epidemic or Endemic?

alphabet-business-close-up-326642

When does sanity replace fear?  Ever since 911, fear has continued to creep into the pores of American life.  Day after day brings more horror stories to our TV’s and newspapers.  Each of these stories of mayhem and cruelty drives a spike into our souls.  Our compassion for others is slowly but irrevocably replaced by the thought that “maybe I will be next.”  Let a helicopter fly overhead or a police siren go off, and we double check our door locks and log into our neighborhood chat line to see what is going on.  More Americans have moved into gated communities with a hope that a large wall will provide security and safety.  Those that have not moved into gated communities have stockpiled guns that the manufacturer assures them will thwart any unwanted visitors.

download

I recently caught the following dialogue on Nextdoor, a social media platform organized by zip codes.  If you need a plumber or carpenter or fresh eggs or just want to catch up on local gossip, you can log on to Nextdoor and get the latest scoop.  This morning there was a thread that went like this: (Names changed)

Angela:  Newman Ranch

Helicopter over back gate at Newman Ranch and police car just sped down the road.  Anyone know what is happening?

Mary and Andrew: Newman Ranch

A friend who joined us for thanksgiving dinner told us that his friend who lives nearby had a dead body in his yard this past summer.  He said the police warned him that the Mexican Cartels had a route that passed nearby.

Pete: Newman Ranch

Although we are a gated community, it’s a good idea to be sure to lock your doors and be aware of your surroundings even while in town shopping.

Paul: Newman Ranch

Anyone that thinks Newman is a gated community is wrong.  Ken, our security head informed me that we are NOT a gated community.

Mary: Newman Ranch

Does Ken read our Newman Ranch website.  It says, “As soon as you drive past the gated entry at Newman Ranch, you will appreciate the tranquility of quiet surroundings and the comfort of a roving patrol.”

Harvey:

I’ve lived in several gated communities and none of them are secure.  If someone wants to get in, they will get in.  Gates are a slight deterrent.

Melanie:

Anymore updates on this.  I heard it was illegals on the run.  But I would like to have facts.  It is scary as most of us likely keep our back doors open during the day. 

__________________________

well-fear-bed-videoSixteenByNineJumbo1600

As you may easily surmise from reading the above, even those with the money to live in a “gated” community are not free from the fear that pervades America today.  Whether it is “illegals”, juggers, car jackers, home invaders or serial killers, we have a wide assortment of people who we can fear.  If these are not enough, we have road rage maniacs, gun toting nut cases, disgruntled employees, stalkers, and teenagers looking for five minutes of fame.  It seems like we are not safe even putting one foot out the door these days. 

iStock-1257965641Many of you reading this may remember the time when kids went to school by themselves.  Saturday was a day for playing outside with your friends and your parents seldom carried a concealed weapon unless it was a paddle to spank your butt.  Today, kids spend most days with helicopter parents, sanctioned after school sports leagues or at home playing video games.  The sports field in our town of Frederic has a baseball field, volleyball court and four basketball courts.  After twelve years of living in Frederic, I can only remember seeing a few volleyball games and baseball games played each summer.  Most days, even when school was out, the baseball field and the volleyball field were deserted.  The adjunct basketball courts were idle year-round.  I do not ever remember seeing any kids playing a game on the basketball courts. 

“Sad” you may say, “but times change.  That’s life.”  But is it?  Do you really like it this way?  President Franklin Delano Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”  We know that fear is inevitable.  It is part of the human condition.  Fear has its positive side in that it provides a warning sign in respect to things we need to be cautious of or perhaps more considerate of.  You start to take a short cut down a dark alley and your nerves begin to tingle.  You are getting a warning that it might not be such a good idea.  You are riding your crotch rocket at a high speed, and you become aware of fear as the utility poles start looking like a picket fence.  If you are intelligent, you slow your bike to a more reasonable speed.  Those that know no fear will probably live an exciting but short life. 

“What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.”  — Jiddu Krishnamurti

FEAR

But fear of life itself is another thing entirely.  When we fear life itself, we are trapped.  We begin to fashion a coffin for ourselves even before we die.  Each passing year sees us living more and more in our coffin.  We do not want to travel because it is too dangerous.  We do not want to meet new people, because we might not be able to trust them.  We don’t try new things or do new things because we might not like them.  A new food might upset our stomach.  We might get lost in a new place.  We might fall on a bicycle or roller skates.  Our coffin becomes our permanent home even before we are dead. 

rsz_fear_8896I do not blame the victim for this “paranoia” for fear.  We have a fear-based society where a paranoia for fear is hammered into us every day.  Each day the radio, internet, TV, newspapers, and social media outlets blasts us with mind numbing stories that would scare Superwoman or Batman.  It is no wonder that we have a fear-based society.  We have a society that is not addicted to fear as much as it is fed fear.  We eat a daily toxic brew of fear.  A fear stew that is comprised of stories that seem horrible beyond comprehension.  I could list a dozen from the past week, but what would be the point.  You know them as well as I do.  Whether they happened in Bangladesh, Spain, Mexico, or the USA, you will find out all about them in your local newspaper or evening cable news.

I would almost agree with a friend that it is impossible to escape fear in America.  Fear is now endemic.  It is a disease more widespread than cancer or Covid.  It is humanities original sin.   We are less than we should be because of fear.  We can never attain the greatness promised by our Founding Fathers because of fear.  The early slave owners lived in constant fear of an uprising by their slaves.  Many people who were brainwashed by pictures of happy dancing “darkies” down on the old plantation are not aware that there were over 300 slave revolts in the USA between 1521 and 1865.  (Did African-American Slaves Rebel?)

How do we free ourselves from fear?  Is it possible?  The experts tell us to overcome our fears.  We are told to “face” our fears.  To stand up to fear.  To never back down.  All good advice that is easier said than done.  What do we say to those who heard the helicopter overhead and the police sirens screaming by early this morning?  “Go back to bed and don’t worry< Be Happy!”

If Patrick Henry were alive today, I can imagine him saying, “What is it that gentlepeople wish? What would they have?  Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery?  Give me freedom from fear or give me death.”

Fear-Quotes

We purchase a false peace, an ephemeral security, and freedom from fear at the cost of our liberty.  A liberty to go out at night.  To leave our doors unlocked.  To break down our walls.  To embrace those who are different or who want shelter in our country.  To overcome our differences with people of other cultures and ethnic backgrounds.  Freedom is never free.  Freedom from fear comes with a cost.  Are you willing to pay it or do you prefer to live in fear? 

 

 

Why A Gun Will Not Make You Safer!

guns

Every gun sold in America makes you less safe than you were the minute before that gun was sold.  The gun lobbies and Second Amendment devotees want you to believe the opposite.  There are two motives for this.  One is to sell more guns.  This is a motive for the gun lobbyists, gun manufacturers and NRA.  The second motive is by the Second Amendment advocates who seriously believe that guns will protect you from “bad” guys with a gun.  This is wishful thinking which more often than not is false.  However, there are many cases on record where guns have protected people from criminals and other deviants.  Nevertheless, statistically speaking, you are not safer with more guns.  In fact, you are less safe as each gun sale adds to the growing epidemic of gun violence in USA America.  You will only be safer when there are less guns to be had for sale.  The argument I am going to present will clearly prove my point.  However, before I present it let me state the following truths.

  • I am a gun owner
  • I am a military veteran
  • I actually like guns, knives, and other weapons (nunchakus, hunting bows, etc.)
  • I have hunted moose, seal, elk, pheasant, and deer
  • I do believe that some guns should be available for hunting and sports shooting

So, why do I believe that more guns lead to more school shootings, massacres, homicides, suicides, and other violence?  Why do I think that we need to seriously dial back on the following three aspects of guns?

  • Gun availability
  • Gun lethality
  • Gun carry

To understand why more guns are dangerous, we must first start with understanding human psychology.  You will accept that anger is a normal human emotion.  Assuming a bell-shaped curve of ranges for anger, some people will get much angrier than others.  Some people will resort to violence, road rage, domestic abuse, fights, etc. when they are angry.  Let us assume that one percent of people sometimes fall into the “extreme” anger range.  Thus, out of 1,000,000 people, there will be 10,000 people who may become violently angry at some perceived slight, disrespect, or abuse.

young-girl-firing-two-gunsNext, let us establish a lethality of weapons.  I will put it thus:  fists are not as lethal as brass knuckles.  Brass knuckles are not as lethal as clubs.  Clubs are not as lethal as knives.  Knives are not as lethal as guns.  Handguns are not as lethal as rifles.  The range of lethality that I have noted is “most” often true but there are always exceptions.  Thus, I will say again, the lethality of the potential weapons structure I have described is most often the case but not always.

Now, let us assume that one percent of the people who fall into the “extreme” violent range might act out using a weapon of some sort.  That would mean that during any particular episode of extreme anger, a hundred people or one percent of 10,000 people could conceivably pick up a gun to use as a weapon.

5310758_052119-wtvd-charlotte-kids-learn-to-shoot-vid

If we take the fact that there are 257,000,000 people over the age of 18 in the USA as of 2020 (Annie E. Casey Foundation Data Center), then extrapolating from the one million people we started with, we would have to multiply the 100 potentially violent and angry people who might use a gun by the percentage of gun owners in America who have a gun available.  According to a Pew Study, four-in-ten U.S. adults say they live in a household with a gun, including 30% who say they personally own one.

So, we need to multiply as follows:

257,000,000 million adults over the age of 18 in the USA

X

30 Percent of adults who personally own a gun in the USA

X

100 potentially very angry people per every million adults who might be tempted to use a gun

257,000,000 x .30 = 77.1 million X 100 per million = 7710

That gives us the following:  7710 potentially very angry people on any given day who might use a gun in some act of violence.  Now let’s half that number since women are not usually as violent as men and we arrive at the following figure of 3855 adult men in the USA who might go berserk, grab a gun, and enter what domestic abuse counselors call the “Cycle of Violence.”

0201aa_7b79899f47f14b6ab14fb1ed7b3e0571_mv2

The “Cycle of Violence” can be described as follows:

“The term cycle of violence refers to repeated and dangerous acts of violence as a cyclical pattern, associated with high emotions and doctrines of retribution or revenge.  The pattern, or cycle, repeats and can happen many times during a relationship.  Each phase of the cycle may last a different length of time, and over time the level of violence may increase.  It often refers to violent behavior learned as a child, and then repeated as an adult, therefore continuing on in a perceived cycle.”WIKI

maxresdefaultThis cycle explains quite well what happens in many cases of gun violence or other types of violent outburst.  In phase two, tensions are building up.  This could be from a variety of different causes.  It might be strains from the work place or strains from home relationships with family and children.  The strains are often cumulative particularly with people who may lack the ability or means to discharge their stress.  The stress builds up until the individual finally explodes.  The explosion could be in words or actions.  Actions might involve throwing things, punching things, hitting things or various levels of assault against things or people using a wide range of weapons.

download (1)Phase three is the incident itself.  A trigger is needed to set the individual off.  Perhaps the individual gets fired or their spouse asks for a divorce.  Maybe they have a fight with a neighbor, or a car cuts them off at an intersection.  When the trigger occurs, the individual explodes.  The explosion could involve a violent attack that might go from simple threats or curses all the way to shooting someone.  The availability of weapons will play a major role in the level of violence.  This is one reason why a “waiting period” for purchasing a firearm makes  a lot of sense.  In two recent mass shootings, there was no waiting period for the purchase of a high-powered rifle and the individuals engaged in shooting massacres within a week of buying their rifles.

Phase four is a down period or a period of extreme remorse.  The violent individual feels a deep sense of guilt or regret and longs for forgiveness and to makeup to their victim for their transgressions.  If their victim is still alive they will apologize profusely and swear to never do it again.  They will promise anything to make amends and obtain forgiveness.  Obviously, if their victim or victims are dead, one act that they can take to escape their feelings of remorse is to end their own lives.  This explains why so many of these mass shooters commit suicide before they are apprehended.

nssfjan21x1

If the violent individual makes it through phase four and is still alive, there will be a phase of calm and peacefulness.  It will seem like everything is going to be okay.  Phase one may last days or weeks but unless the individual receives some type of therapy, the tensions will inevitably build up again.  The result will be another explosion after another triggering event takes place.  This is how the cycle of violence works over and over again.

The result of this anger cycle combined with an easy access to guns is an epidemic of gun violence.  It is an epidemic that includes nearly 25,000 suicides a year and about 14,000 homicides a year.  There are clearly only two solutions to reducing this death rate.  One solution would be to reduce the potential number of people in our society who are prone to violent outbursts or what some might label as mental illness.  The second solution would be to reduce the number of guns available or at least make it more difficult to obtain a gun when someone has a violent outburst.

downloadMany anti-gun control people push the solution that more mental health is needed.  The problem with this solution is that anger and angry outbursts are as normal in the population as mom, God, and apple pie.  There is no way to treat all the people in America who might lose their temper on a given day.  There is no way to tell when or where these outbursts will take place.  Therapy for “normal” people is not on the radar.  Make no mistake, your best friend, your neighbor, your cousin just might “lose” it tomorrow and go on some type of violent jag that results in death for someone else.  It happens all the time.  The papers are full of reports of people who lose it and end up killing their loved ones and themselves.

20150404_USD000_0The other solution is to reduce the availability or the lethality of guns in society.  This solution makes the most sense.  We can somewhat reduce the availability of weapons through background checks, waiting periods, age restrictions, gun training, and reducing the ability to carry a gun in public.  We must get rid of these ridiculous concealed carry laws.  It should be illegal to carry a gun in public concealed or otherwise unless you have a permit with a valid reason for why you need to carry a gun.

1999-_Gun-related_deaths_USAWe can reduce the lethality of guns by limiting clip capacities and by eliminating rifles that were designed for military purposes and not hunting.  Why anyone would need a rifle with more than a three round capacity is beyond me.  Rifles should be for hunting or target shooting and nothing else.  Any game that you are hunting will be gone long before you can chamber and fire your third round.  A .223 caliber was first designed for the military in Vietnam.  I had to qualify on an M-16 in 1965 when they were first issued.  It was like shooting a bb gun.  Easy to shoot with a round that was designed to wound and not kill.  They said this would take two or more people out of the war instead of just one dead body.  The individual shot by a .223 would be severely wounded and would need someone to take him back to a medic or out of the war zone.  Read any of the gun magazines today and it looks like they are selling guns and accessories to someone who is going to war.  Helmets, bullet proof vests, high-capacity magazines, laser sights and guns more fit for killing humans than hunting are touted and readily available.

_124922926_guns_flag976

I don’t deny that it would be difficult to make some distinctions between a military or assault rifle and a rifle that could be used for hunting.  It some cases it would be like trying to differentiate between tweedle dee and tweedle dum.  However difficult it might be, it could be done as long as two reasonable people could agree on the definitions.  No definition will convince or persuade everyone.  We must not let perfection stop us from trying to protect the lives of our children and our citizens.  If some mistakes are made in banning guns that are best designed for killing then so be it.  We will all be better off for it.   It is the only solution that will end the epidemic of gun violence in the USA.

PS

I think my theory above accounts for a large percentage of mass murders and some suicides. I know that a small percentage of mass murders are committed by individuals with a grudge against another group, ethnicity or race. Call them racists or ideological nut cases. I doubt they go through any “cycle of violence” such as I have described. My guess is that they develop some screwball theory and believe that their violence will help them wipeout whatever group they harbor negative attitudes against. Their hatred could be political, racial, or other wacko ideologies.

As for suicides, the major reason for suicides according to the mental health literature (retreatbehavioralhealth.com) is due to depression. Women tend to overdose with pills while men tend to use a handgun. Gun checks, gun licenses, gun waiting periods are probably not going to reduce deaths by suicide substantially since I cannot imagine how a background check or a license would stop someone who is depressed from owning a gun. Nevertheless, the easy availability of guns and their lethality does make them very dangerous for anyone suffering from depression.

3520 – Wednesday, September 11, 2019 — Can We Ever Understand the Trump Phenomenon?

61vpBaozkcL._SL500_

Pontificating and writing books and articles about what I will call the Trump phenomenon has become (forgive my use of this cliché), a Cottage Industry.  I have three books on my shelf right now in which an author has gone on a quest (to a remote area of America) to find the reason why so much of rural and middle America embraced Trump.  The ostensible goal of these quests is to understand why anyone would vote for a racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic bigoted egomaniac.  Fully twenty-eight percent of American voters selected Trump as well as more than 75 percent of the Republican Party.  Most of those on the left, regard it as the proverbial enigma wrapped in a riddle.

Many of these quests endeavor to be “objective” exercises to find out why Americans voted for and in many cases “love” Trump.  Not surprisingly, these authors tend to be on the left of the political spectrum.  I suppose to be objective and qualify as research, each author must show sympathy for the “deplorables” that elected Trump by trying to listen, empathize and gently understand the forces that were at work in their embracing Trump.  In one case, the author assumes that if you can party with the other side, you will better understand their perspective. 

merlin-to-scoop-125548322-183828-articleLarge

A few of these books have sold quite well, even if they do very little to shed any real light on the Trump phenomenon.  They all seem to be researched (research to these authors means meeting with rural folks over tea or coffee and talking to them without insulting their intelligence) by a well-meaning liberal.  Usually, the author is an academic who thinks that talking to anyone who would vote for Trump can solve the puzzle and perhaps make America great again.  Reading these books, you will be no doubt be embellished with many narratives that involve a poignant description of a “typical” rural American to show how the other side really lives and how sad some of their lives are.

I find the solution to the enigma much less puzzling and much less difficult to solve.  I did not need to go on a quest to find the solution.  The solution simply involves “looking at rural America.”  Rural America is dying, dying, dying.  Churches are dying.  Restaurants are dying.  Retail stores are dying.  Industries are dying.  Banks are dying.  Resorts are dying.  Jobs are dying.  Small farms are dying.  Rural America is dying, and no one seems to notice.  Even the people living there do not really notice.  It is a case of the fish being the last ones to see the water.  But on many levels, the angst exacts a toll on the citizens of these areas.   Alcoholism, drug addictions and guns are all means of coping in rural communities.  

People who live in many of many of these rural depressed areas have been told to “get retrained.”  “Find employment in the new emerging industries.”  “Join the information age.”  “Learn computer programming.”  “Go back to school.”  “Go where the jobs are.”

51NR0QTPqqL._SX326_BO1,204,203,200_

In 1979, I was hired as a DVOP (Disabled Veterans Outreach Person) by the State of Minnesota.  I worked as a job counselor with the DES (Department of Economic Security.)  At about this time in Minnesota, the iron range was shutting down, many foundries in St. Paul were closing and the stock yards were closing.  For years, these industries had provided relatively decent pay and benefits for people more amenable to working with their backs than with their intellects.  As an employment counselor with a Masters in Employment Counseling from the University of Wisconsin Stout, my job was to help them regain financially viable employment.  Here is what this meant.

I had to take a man (most often a man) with twenty or so years working in one industry, a bad back, little or no education beyond high school, responsible for supporting a wife and two or more children and find him or her a job paying twenty or so dollars per hour with benefits.  There were no funds provided by DES for this man to go to school and even if there were, what kind of school could he go to?  Over the years, both Wisconsin and Minnesota had shut down many vocational training schools to emphasize college over vocational education.  Unions seldom provided apprenticeships and even if they did, most would go to younger workers with less physical problems. 

Globalization was hailed as a great concept and as a business person, I would argue it was good for many Americans and much of the world.  But for the man or woman who worked in American industries that were either outsourced, replaced by foreign labor or moved overseas, it was not so good. 

d3c88ff43cd1be11c3f6a164e9b065d8af4709fe

I continued working as an employment counselor for the DILHR (Department of Industry, Labor and Human Relations) in Wisconsin.  I had taken a Wisconsin State test and found work closer to my home in River Falls, Wisconsin.  I became a Manpower Counselor II in charge of an office in Hudson and Ellsworth Wisconsin.  I ran the WIN Program (Work Incentive), IHRAP Program (Indochinese Refugee Assistance Program), LEAP Program (Labor Education Advancement Program) and several programs for veterans and minorities. 

We had minimal funds for people that could qualify for education and we had maintenance funds for eligible job seekers to help support them while they looked for gainful employment.  With respect to education, there was no way anyone could go to school and support a family while they were in school on the available funds.  For job seekers, the maintenance funds could help while they looked for employment but, in many cases, they had little chance of finding employment without further education.  Regulations prohibited many of these “eligible” job seekers from going to school while they received AFDC (Aid to Families with Dependent Children), Welfare benefits or unemployment benefits.

Bottom line, both the Democrats and Republicans threw many of the people who lost their jobs because of Globalization under the bus or over the cliff.  “Go get retrained they were told.” 

694940094001_5470675642001_5470650547001-vsThe research that purports to explain the Trump phenomenon almost never goes beyond the “Right Wing” narratives for Trumps election.  These narratives all point to abortion, guns, taxes, small government, immigration and jobs as the key factors in Trumps victory.  Trump blames the Democrats for everything wrong in rural America and the Republicans have provided a compelling set of schemes that have convinced many in rural America that a partial solution to their problems lies in more capitalism. 

pg-quarterly1

Greed is good is a mantra among Republicans and they have managed to sell desperate people needing desperate measures with faith in the “Trickle Down Theory.”  For those who might question this theory, the fallback narrative is to blame immigrants, Latinos, Blacks and Muslims with usurping the American Dream.  Trump and the Republicans have sold the rest of the solution as “Make America White Again.” 

rick-tyler-billboard

Is it any wonder that people are sick of government and politicians?  The vision and mission of most government agencies hardly ever comes close to matching the reality of the policies, laws and regulations that spew forth from these lawyer led entities.   You would be forgiven for not realizing that the citizens of the United States of America are the customers of government rather than the other way around.  Trump is a phenomenon of distrust, disgust and despair.  Trump promised solutions to these problems while the rest of the government slept and slept and slept.

“I’ve always resented the smug statements of politicians, media commentators, corporate executives who talked of how, in America, if you worked hard you would become rich. The meaning of that was if you were poor it was because you hadn’t worked hard enough. I knew this was a lie, about my father and millions of others, men and women who worked harder than anyone, harder than financiers and politicians, harder than anybody if you accept that when you work at an unpleasant job that makes it very hard work indeed.”  ― Howard Zinn, You Can’t Be Neutral on a Moving Train: A Personal History of Our Times

 

 

 

 

 

3611– Wednesday, June 12, 2019 –  Fear of Death and Dying

 Have your ever cursed out an “old” driver for going to slow?  If so, I am sure that you are not alone.  I was once one of those who had no patience for the old folks poking along doing less than the speed limit on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.  Karen would always remind me that “You will be old someday.”  I did not believe it.  The problem is that I am now an old driver.  I probably drive slower and more cautiously then I did years ago, but so as not to offend anyone, I usually set my cruise control about 5 mph over the speed limit.  I figure it is too slow to get a ticket but too fast to piss off anyone who hates slow old folks behind the wheel.  Of course, my logic sucks.  I am beset by mortals who obviously have both no fear of death and no fear of getting a ticket.   Why are people in such a hurry today?  Where the hell is everyone going?

download

The subject of my blog today concerns the poor old guys and gals who want to live a few years longer.  One would think that at age 70 or greater, the elderly would be reckless and carefree.  After all, I have had 72 good years on this earth, why should I fret if I die tomorrow.  The strange truth is that the older we get, the more cautious we get.  It is almost like thinking that if I give up smoking, drinking, motorcycles, wild parties and wild women or wild men, I will be able to live longer.  I doubt seriously if the time to be safe is after age 70.  It seems to me that logically, the time to be safety conscious would be when you were young and had many potential years ahead of you.  Why be safe, when your heart or brain might blow out tomorrow.  This is a paradox that I do not understand, but I observe it all around me.

I have friends who don’t want to travel because it might be dangerous.  I have friends who have concealed carry permits because they might get mugged and this even in Frederic.  I have a daughter who has security lights all around her house and is planning to install a security camera.  I have friends who live in gated communities with security guards.  I have friends who will not drive in the city or at night.

fear_slideshow

In each case above, my friends would not have thought twice about it a few years ago.  But something happens as we age.  Suddenly, we worry.  We worry more about things that in the past would not have given us a glimmer of concern.  Now we want to know what the weather will be like before we go out.  We want to know if a neighborhood is safe before we drive though it.  We want to know if a chosen vacation spot is safe to visit.

Why again I ask, would anyone with so few years left to live, worry about their safety?  They say that growing old is not for the faint of heart.  I can see why.  The older we get; the scarier things are.  Is it simply a bit of DNA that ordains old people should die safely in their beds?

A little caution as we age is no doubt common sense.  Old people are more brittle and less flexible.  We do not bounce when we fall, and we can no longer put one foot behind our heads while standing on the other foot doing a Yoga posture (not that I ever could).  We do not have as much balance and we should rightfully be staying off of high ladders and roofs.  We take more time to mend and with less time left on this earth, we don’t want to spend our last days in a cast or hospital room.  We will probably end up in a hospital room anyway, but I doubt it will be because we did anything foolish like bungee jumping or wing suit diving.

angel-of-death-16541

Aging, for many of us, will be a process of pulling our blankets ever closer and ever tighter.  The days of throwing off the blankets in wild abandon and streaking naked through our gardens are probably over.  Somewhere between the two extremes we must find an accommodation with growing old.  To die or not to die is not the question.  The question is how to die.  I always liked the quote in Julius Caesar by Shakespeare “Cowards die many times before their death, the valiant never taste of death but once.”  Or to paraphrase Patrick Henry, “I know not what course others may take, but give me a party or let me die comfortably in my bed.”

“You can’t possibly be afraid of death, really, you can only be afraid of life.”  — Carl R. Rogers

3625– Wednesday, May 29, 2019 – Make Believe or Reality!

I have always loved music.  I am tone deaf.  I cannot sing a lick or carry a tune.  I don’t know a clef from a chord, and I cannot even play a harmonica.  However, I have never heard a genre of music that I did not like.  From Bollywood to Reggae to Funk to Hip Hop to K-Pop to Opera to Classical to Enka to Tex-Mex to Flamenco to African American Gospel, I love them all.  I do not love all songs equally of course.  In every genre, I have some favorites but just like I love trying a new food, I delight in finding a new genre of music.  Each genre has its gems and stars.  Each has something to offer us.

real or make believe

Music plays a special roll in my life.  Not only do I love to listen to music, but many songs have inspired me to write.  I often find a refrain or lines from a song that seem to cry out for a blog or for someone to say something about them.  If music is the sound of color, then writing about music is the voice of music floating on pages of white papyrus.  Each letter in the alphabet is a tone and when you string them together in words, and sentences and paragraphs, they want to be heard and they ask the reader to listen and to tap to their beat.  Words are melodies that can resonate just like the notes from a piano or a guitar.

One of my old standards is of course American Rock and Roll.  Growing up in the sixties, you would be hard pressed not to have listened to hundreds of the first rock and roll songs.  A singer that I loved back in those days was Conway Twitty.  Some lyrics from a song of his that are rolling around in my brain today goes like this:

But myself I can’t deceive
I know it’s only make believe

I am wondering how much of my life is make believe.  I doubt that 100 percent is, but I think some portion is.  Let’s say that 40 percent of my life is make believe, then I question what are those aspects that are make believe?  First of course, we must agree on what “make believe” is.  Without going to a dictionary, I propose that for something to be make believe it has to be a total fiction that is self-consciously induced.  Meaning, that I fabricate the make believe in my own mind.  Make believe includes fictions, lies, fables, delusions and fantasies that have no basis in reality but are things that I hold dear.  That can’t be me can it?  Can I the most rational logical unemotional person in the universe have any make believes?  Did you say bullshit when I said I was the most rational etc.?  Is that one of my “make believes?”  Well Sir, I am sure that is the only one I have.

“What” my wife Karen says, “about your ideas that men are inherently better drivers than women.”  “Hmm, okay, maybe I have one or two others.”  Still a long way to go until I reach 40 percent.

But myself, I can’t deceive,
I know my faults, my fantasies and my dreams are only make believe

Well, damn it.  Isn’t there a problem here then?  How much do I really know about myself versus how much do I not know?  Do you remember the model in psychology called the JOHARI Window?  There are four quadrants in this model:  As follows with some examples:

Known to others Unknown to others
Known to me I am an old looking guy Secrets about my family
Unknown to me I was sarcastic yesterday When will I die?

 

My “make believes” probably lie in the known to others and unknown to me quadrant.  A goal that psychologists say we should pursue is to increase our knowledge of the unknowns to us.  Some of these unknowns we can find by being more transparent and open to input and feedback from “others.”

Often though our make believes are an armor which protects us from the things we fear.  As life goes on, day by day, aging can seem to bring more and more things for us to fear.  Things we now fear that we never gave a second thought to when we were younger.  “I can’t do that because I might.”  “What if?”  Perhaps one of the worst things about growing old is to live a life that is the very opposite of the poem by Dylan Thomas.

“Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Ragerage against the dying of the light.” – Dylan Thomas

Instead, we tread more carefully, we flicker and whimper and at the dying of the light we cower under the covers.  Easy to do.  I cast no aspersions against the hardships of aging.  For many, I am sure, much more difficult than it has been for me.  So, I go back to my make believes.  I am sure that today I am:

Twenty-two years old.  I am dashing and handsome and athletic.  All the men want my autographs and all the women want my hand in marriage.  I am a Nobel Prize winner and a Rhodes Scholar.  I have six Olympic gold medals and five bestselling books on the Times list.  Faust often confers with me and Socrates borrows ideas from me to use with his pupils.  Pavarotti takes voice lessons from me.  Kings, movie stars and rich people line up at my door each day and clamor for a visit with me.  I am gracious and kind and compassionate and spend time and money to help the poor and needy.

But its only, only Make Believe.

“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.”
― J. M. Barrie, Peter Pan

 

Previous Older Entries