Dear “Ask Dr. John” is a new syndicated column for men only. Each week Dr. John Persico Jr. will answer questions from his many loyal followers concerning a wide range of life issues. The comments given in this column are not medical in nature and readers are advised to use discretion before following any advice or recommendations. The author claims no responsibilities for sickness or death as a result of information or suggestions provided in this column.
Dear Dr. John,
I came home today and found my wife in bed with three of my best friends. What should I do?
PS: My wife is 19 years old and I am 74 but we have been happily married for several months now.
Signed,
Frustrated
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Dear Frustrated,
I have thought about your situation very carefully. At your age it might be easier to find a new wife than new friends. I would give her an early buyout on your prenuptials and try to mend fences with your friends.
Yours truly,
Dr. John
Dear Dr. John,
I have the greatest grandchildren in the world. My youngest grandson is smart, handsome and athletic. He will surely be a pro-football player. He is only three years old now but you can easily see how great he will be. I bought him a football for Christmas and he handles it like a pro. My problem is that none of my friends really listen when I try to talk to them about him. Do you think they are just jealous? I am not sure what to do as they do not listen very well.
Signed,
Grandfather of the Greatest Grandson in the world.
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Dear Grandfather of the Greatest Grandson in the world,
I am sure they are just jealous. Sounds like your grandson is truly amazing. Have you thought of entering him in the Guinness Book of World Records?
Keep hammering away at them, they are bound to come around.
Yours truly,
Dr. John
Dear Dr. John,
I would like to retire early but I do not think I have enough money in my savings yet. I am 45 years old and I am tired of working for a living. Do you think there is any way that I could get my Social Security early? It has been really hard for me these past few years as I hate my job and my work. I am bored most of my working day. I would rather sit home and watch football on TV.
Signed,
Would Like to Stop Working Early
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Dear Would Like to Stop Working Early,
I know the feeling. Many of my friends feel like you do. However, most of them are in their seventies and like you they do not have enough in their savings to retire on. Thus, they are still working part-time. I have several good friends who are greeters at Walmart. They are often bored.
I am not an expert on Social Security but I doubt that the government will give you an early out. I think your best option would be to join the military and see if you can stay in long enough to get a good military pension. The military has some good openings now in Afghanistan, Kuwait and Iraq. I doubt you would be bored over there, particularly if you asked for a combat assignment.
Yours truly,
Dr. John
Dear Dr. John,
I have a lot of aches and pains. I still smoke and I don’t like to exercise. My medical doctor says I am overweight, but I think he is wrong. I am 5’ 8” inches tall and weigh 240 lbs. Do you think that is too much weight for my height? I am fifty three years old. Can I lose weight without exercising or dieting? I understand that neither of these activities are healthy and they are not much fun.
Signed,
I Want to Be Healthy
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Dear I Want to Be Healthy,
It is very difficult to say if you are overweight. There are many factors that must be considered before one can render such an opinion. Do you run or walk each day? Do you get much activity doing housework or in the yard at home? How many calories do you burn each day? How much do you eat?
Many magazines in the food section of your local market will have an array of health tips and suggestions that you may want to read about losing weight and staying healthy. My favorite book is “How to stay healthy even while you smoke and over eat and avoid exercise.” This book has been on my shelf or years. I have learned a great deal about health from this book. See if you can purchase a copy from Amazon.com
I am sure it will help you as much as it has helped me.
Yours truly,
Dr. John
Dear Dr. John,
I have been an atheist all my life. My last siblings died a few months ago and I have been thinking a lot now about death and dying. I am seventy years old. Do you think it is too late to start believing in God? Would he accept my apologies? Do you think I would be seen as a hypocrite by all the people I have been making fun of for years?
Signed,
Is It Time to Repent?
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Dear Is It Time to Repent?
I don’t think it is ever too late to change your mind. As you get older, it might be a good idea to hedge your bets. As for your friends, I think I would explain to them that you had a change of heart and have finally come to your senses. Apologize to them for all the times that you knocked their God and said what idiots they were to believe in God. Start reading the Bible and try to remember some quotes such as:
“For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God. He will strike down the non-believers.”
Yours truly,
Dr. John
Dear Dr. John,
I live in a trailer park with a lot of other retirees. Every Friday night, the guys play poker for low stakes in the community center. This is a guy thing only. However, one of the guys has started insisting that we let his wife play too. I think she has been badgering him to be included. He is a real wuss and won’t say no. She usually comes around during the game to kibitz and look over his shoulder. None of the other guys want to let her play but we don’t want to hurt our friend’s feelings. What do you think we should do?
Signed,
It’s a Guy’s Thing
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Dear it’s a Guy’s Thing,
Look at it this way. If you let her play, before you know it all the other wives will want to play to. You have got to “Nip it in the bud” as Barney Fife used to say.
Here is what I think you should do. Change your game to Thursday nights but don’t let her know. Be sure to tell everyone that the new night is a secret for only the regulars to know about. You can explain that this is necessary because the IRS was going to audit the game. If that lie does not work, then simply think up another lie. Remember “Nip it in the bud” or your guy only poker games will be a thing of the past.
Yours truly,
Dr. John
Dear Dr. John,
This is an election year and I take my voting very seriously. I am torn between Trump and Hillary. My friends think I am crazy and want me to support Cruz. I don’t like Cruz because I think he is a Canadian and not really an American. I like Hillary because she is for the common woman. I like Trump because he is for the common man. Should I support the common man or should I support the common woman?
Signed,
Political Dilemma
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Dear Political Dilemma,
Wow, this is a tough one. There is good and bad on both sides here. Hillary is cuter than Trump but Trump has more money. Hillary has held a high political office as First Lady but Trump has casinos all over the world. Hillary will probably help us defeat ISIS but I would bet on Trump to defeat Mexico and make them pay for it.
It’s a tough call, but I would go with Hillary. She stood by her man and you have got to give her points for loyalty.
Yours truly,
Dr. John
Well, that’s it for this week readers. Stay tuned for more exciting “Ask Dr. John” columns to come in the next few weeks.
Once upon a time, I thought debates were the answer to the question of “how do we discover the truth?” I thought that if you put two intelligent people together and each took opposing positions on an issue, that through the interplay of ideas the truth would emerge. If you think about this a bit, it is the basis for our judicial system in America. One side argues for the defendant, the other side argues for the prosecution or against the defendant. It is also the basis for an academic exercise called Dialectical Research or Dialectical Inquiry.
A dialectical investigation is a form of qualitative research which utilizes the method of dialectic, aiming to discover truth through examining and interrogating competing ideas, perspectives or arguments. This latter method is often applied through the use of case studies in which students or investigators discuss real world examples of complex situations. The purpose of a case study is to provide a more thorough analysis of a situation or “case” which will reveal interesting information to the reader. As I use them in my classrooms, my goal for my students is to help them understand how to better form strategies for success in business.
Unfortunately, in the real world the strategy of debate does not work. Debates are a waste of time when honest discussion takes second place to winning or looking good. Dialectical Inquiry is also often useless since the complexity of the subject can be beyond the ability of many students to grasp. Real world situations are froth with uncertainty, volatility, complexity and ambiguity or as some have called it VUCA. VUCA is an acronym used by the military to describe or reflect on the volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity of general conditions and situations. Many complex situations are seldom able to be accurately modeled leading in most instances to weak images or portrayals of the actual situation. This is why debaters opt for simple explanations rather than complex explanations. Another example of this watering down of reality is a Hollywood movie depiction of a supposed “true” story. Recent movies that come to mind include the following:
I have watched several of the debates now and I see no evidence that truth is being discovered. The debates have become hyperbolic spectacles of insults, half-truths, reality distortions, innuendos and petty personal attacks. I doubt if anyone has found much truth in these debates never mind elucidations of complex policy positions for any of the candidates. Trump
will build a giant wall. Cruz will fix Syria. Rubio will fix health care. Sanders will fix inequality in America. Hillary will fix Obamacare. Do you know how any of the candidates will accomplish these lofty goals? Of course not, since they know that the “debates” are no place for such a complex discussion. Trump perhaps realizes this fact better than anyone and has kept his discussion and clarification of his policy positions to less than fifteen second descriptions. The general consensus seems to be that if a candidate cannot explain their position on any subject in less than fifteen seconds, they are doomed, i.e., they lose.
On a more personal level, I have a problem with debates. I have a few friends who love to debate. I have noted as a result of recent discussions with them concerning the Presidential elections that do not want to understand or clarify any issues, they just want to argue or perhaps debate. I say that they want to argue, because their main agenda seems to be looking good or advancing their points and not understanding my points. They often enter into these contests (Since that is what a debate means to them. It seems to be a contest between winning their points and looking good or losing their points and looking bad.) with a pretense of trying to understand why I think or feel a certain way. Sometimes, they start the “debate” with a flat out rejection of my position or with a declaration such as “you are dead wrong” or “you don’t know what you are talking about.” I confess that such latter utterances often preclude my disposition to have a rational discussion with them. I see no point in it.






