My Final Will and Testament – Scriptures – Reflection #10

07 Jun 2024 Leave a comment

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , ,

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Last year at my 40th Demontreville Retreat, one of the exercises that we were given by the Retreat Master included a very challenging set of thoughts.  The worksheet for the activity was labeled as “A Testament.” I took the worksheet and instructions home with me.  It had fourteen tasks or reflections to complete.  I did not desire to complete them during the retreat.  It is now almost a year since my retreat, and I have decided to make the mental and emotional effort necessary to complete this “Testament.”

The worksheet started with these instructions:

Imagine that this is the last day of your life on earth.  In the time that you have left, you want to leave a “Testament” for your family and friends.  Each of the following could serve as chapter headings for your “Testament.”  This is Reflection Number 10 on the worksheet.

  1. These are the Scripture Texts that have touched and helped me.

My being an Atheist some people might think that I would have a hard time with finding Scriptures that have touched me.  In truth, it is one of the easiest reflections for me to think about.  I have so many wonderful parables from the New Testament and many proverbs and wisdom from the Old Testament that I use to guide my life and decisions.  I see the Bible as another source of great wisdom that has been compiled over the ages.  It is a combination of history, storytelling and profound thoughts compiled into one large book.  I do not view the Bible as infallible or “The Word of God” unless I use that interpretation very loosely.  If there is a God, perhaps he does reside in all of us and all of us are “Children of God.”

In 1775, Thomas Paine wrote a short essay criticizing slavery and reflecting on “Pretended” Christians who could support such a practice.  His words were:

“to catch inoffensive people, like wild beasts, for slaves, is a height of outrage against humanity and justice, that seems left by heathen nations to be practiced by ‘pretended’ Christians.” — African Slavery in America, 1775

Today we have a system that seems somewhat analogous to the system of “Pretended Christians” that Thomas Paine described 250 years ago.  “Pretended Christians” who can support a man and party that attacks, insults, abuses, and maligns minorities, immigrants, women, disabled people, and veterans.  A man who swears vengeance against the people who disagree with his policies.  A man who pays no attention to Scripture which says:

“Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.  Therefore, if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing, thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.  Be not overcome of evil but overcome evil with good.” — Romans 12:19-21 King James Version

Many of the people insulted by this man continue to feel that he is some sort of Christian Savior.  A man who will restore Christianity as the Mother Religion of America.  A position for religion that not one of the 56 signers of the Declaration of Independence, our Founding Fathers either desired or supported.  We have a country full of people who want to call America a Christian nation but who neither practice nor believe in one iota of what Jesus of Nazareth taught and died for.  We have a nation full of “Pretended Christians.”  I do not pretend to be a Christian or a Saint or a Holy Man.  God (If he/she exists) save me from these “Pretended Hypocritical Christians.”

The following are four of the scripture quotes that have had the most influence on my life.  I will briefly describe the impact that each has had on my thoughts and behaviors.

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  1. What doth it profit a man if he gain the whole world but suffer the loss of his own soul? — Matthew 16:26

The first Jesuit retreat that I did at Demontreville in 1984, upon entering the grounds I saw the larger-than-life sized statue of Saint Ignatius Loyola, the founder of the Jesuit Order.  He stands on a large concrete pedestal.  I was forty years old at the time and just finishing my Ph.D. degree.  I was hungry for fame and fortune and success.  During the retreat, I walked up to the statue and discovered the words “What doth it profit a man if he gain the whole world but suffer the loss of his own soul?’ written on the base of the pedestal.  These words are perhaps the most profound words I have ever heard in my life.  I went back several times during the retreat to read and reflect on these words.  Over the past forty years or so, despite these words being etched in my brain, I always go to see the statue of St. Ignatius and silently repeat these words to myself several times.

My first visit to these words did not stop me from chasing what some call the elusive gods of fame and fortune.  Over the years, my chasing has become less vigorous, but the goal posts still exist in my mind.  Part of me longs to carry the football over the goal line and to hear the roar of the crowd and bask in shouts of “hurrah” and “you’re the greatest.”  The fortune part has never really mattered as much to me as the adulation and recognition that I still thirst for.  Thus, every year that I go back to Demontreville, (this will be my 41st retreat), I will make my pilgrimage to the statue to restore my commitment to the fact that fame and fortune are no substitute for the real nutrients that nurture the soul.  No amount of fame and fortune can substitute for integrity, compassion, kindness and charity towards others.

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  1. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. — Matthew 6:34

Another phrase from the teachings of Jesus as marked down by Matthew.  Throughout history, this same thought has been voiced by most of the great prophets, thinkers and philosophers.  “Live each day one moment at a time.”  “Live in the now.”  “Be mindful of today.”  Doing so is akin to walking a tightrope.  It requires a sense of balance.  We must plan for the future, but we must also live one day at a time.  How to find that balance is a Herculean task.  A second Herculean task is maintaining our balance.   These two tasks are by far more difficult in the modern world than slaying the Nemean lion or capturing the Cretan bull.  Hercules managed to complete 12 very difficult tasks.  I have yet to manage completing even one of my two challenges.  I suppose I will be working on “Living in the Now” for the rest of my days.

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  1. Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities!  All is vanity.  — Ecclesiastes 1

The Book of Ecclesiastes is reported to have been written by King Solomon.  Solomon as you know was one of the wisest men in history.  He was granted wisdom by God because Solomon did not ask for fame or fortune.

“And God said to Solomon: Because this was in your heart, and you have not asked for riches or wealth or honor or the life of your enemies, nor have you asked for long life; but you have asked for wisdom and knowledge for yourself, that you may judge My people over whom I have made you king.”  — (2 Chronicles 1:11-12 NKJV)

Buddhism, Advaita, Zen and other religions talk about the major problem that leads to all of humanities other problems being what psychologists call our Ego.  Solomon called it vanity.  Some might call it self-conceit, narcissism, self-centeredness, self-absorption, me-ism or egotism.  Its all the same.  People become the center of the universe.  I saw a sign the other day that read “When I am not the center of the universe, people become human.”  This is another difficult battle to overcome.  We can focus only on our own needs or desires, or we can expand our awareness to notice the needs and desires of other people.

The Eight Beatitudes given by Jesus in his famous Sermon on the Mount are the greatest exposition of our responsibility to other people that has ever been written.  Jesus elucidated what are called the Eight Beatitudes.  I will not list them all as they are easy to find on Google.  These eight thoughts clearly define how we should treat other people.  I often wonder why so many “Pretended Christians” want to put up the 10 Commandments from the Old Testament, when their Jesus gave them the 8 Beatitudes to obey.   I have actually read that many “Evangelicals” believe that the 8 Beatitudes are wimpy.  The lack of respect for the man that founded Christianity is beyond belief.

I try ever day to remember that I am not the center of the universe.  The world does not revolve around me.  For every one of my rights, there is a responsibility.  I need to look out for others and to help those in need, be they gay, women, immigrants, minorities or even right-wing bigots.  They are all part of the human race.  To paraphrase Ben Franklin, “Either we all work together for a better world, or we shall surely all perish together in ways that none of us desire.”

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  1. It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go to heaven. — Mark 10:25

My friend Kwame says that we should be grateful that we are not rich.  Money is a corrupting influence.  It is somewhat like a drug.  It is addictive.  The more you get the more you want.  The more you have the more you need.  Another friend of mine whom I met in China told me before we left Shanghai in 1989 that we were rich.  I explained that we were not rich, but very middle class.  In fact, we were definitely not even upper middle class.  Xibo said, “you are rich to us in China.  You have nice house, and you can afford to travel to distant countries.”  Xibo’s comments were very accurate, and they had the effect of making me realize just how selfish I often am.  I am bemoaning my mundane middle-class status when to most of the rest of the world, I am regarded as rich.  Never mind regarded.  I am rich to possibly 90 percent of the world.

I am told by biblical interpreters that Jesus never said “rich people were bad” or that rich people could not go to heaven.  What Jesus did say and used many parables to illustrate the fact was that it would be hard for rich people to get to heaven.  Money is a heavy load to carry, and it corrupts.  Lord Acton said that “Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”  The same can be said of money, “Money corrupts, and excessive money corrupts excessively.”

Regard the quest for money in the USA today.  Everyone wants more than they have.  We worry about Inflation, about immigrants stealing our jobs, about the Chinese sending too many products to us.  On the other hand, billions of dollars are now spent on people trying to get rich quick through pull-tabs, lotteries, online gambling and now sports betting.  The mania for money is fueled by the incessant celebrities, media influencers and TV shows touting the “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.”  The airwaves, newspapers, Internet and all of our media are full of non-stop advertising.  “Shop till you drop” should be the title of a song or at least put on the US dollar bill right under George Washington’s picture.

To be mindful of what I have I keep repeating this thought in my head.  ‘It is easier for the camel than the rich man to get to heaven.”  By the way, I do not believe in heaven or hell but I take it metaphorically that it is better for the human race if I try to be the camel and not rich and greedy.

Next Reflection:    

  1. These are things that I Regret about my life.

My Final Will and Testament – Influences – Reflection #9  — Part 3 Music    

05 Jun 2024 Leave a comment

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

Since this blog is about music, there is no better way to read it than by listening to an Andre Rieu concert.  The first number is “Conquest of Paradise” by Vangelis.  The second number is the “Soldiers Chorus” from Gounod’s Faust.  Click on the link above.  I think the background will enhance your reading pleasure.

Imagine that this is the last day of your life on earth.  In the time that you have left, you want to leave a “Testament” for your family and friends. 

  1. These are the Influences (people, literature, and Music) that have shaped me.

Music

“Music soothes the savage beast” — William Congreve    

“Music is a moral law.  It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything.”  — Plato

“Next to the Word of God, music deserves the highest praise.  The gift of language combined with the gift of song was given to man that he should proclaim the Word of God through Music.” — Martin Luther

“Music was my refuge.  I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” — Maya Angelou

I love music.  I love all music and all genres of music.  Yes, there are songs, composers, and performers that I do not like within every genre.  However, I have never found a genre of music from any culture in history or anywhere in the world that did not have something to feed my desires.  Music is food for the soul and a variety of music provides an abundance of nutrition.  The more variety I find in music, the more variety I can bring to my musical dining experience.

I love listening to Opera, Classical Music, Blues, Pop, Rock, Gospel, Country, Fado, Enka, Irish, African, Indian, Chinese and Rap.  Depending on what I am hungry for I might listen to Calypso or Reggae, or I might listen to Celtic and Madrigals.  I might be in the mood for country and cowboy songs, or I might feel like listening to “Golden Oldies.”  My musical tastes are as varied as my food tastes.

I grew up with an Italian father who loved Opera.  My mother was a southerner who gave me a love of Hank Williams, Patsy Cline, Homer and Jethro and Elvis Presley.  My fathers tastes were more for Caruso, Callas, Pavarotti, and Domingo.  My favorite Operas are Carmen, Madam Butterfly, The Pearl Fishers, Il Trovatore, Rigoletto, and Manon Lescaut.

I love Broadway musicals like Cats, 1776, Phantom of the Opera, Man of La Mancha, Fiddler on the Roof, Camelot, Chorus Line, and Les Misérables.  I love movie musicals like Paint Your Wagon, Grease, Tommy, Hair, Oklahoma, and the Wizard of Oz.  Of course, sometimes a musical goes from Broadway to Hollywood but there are often differences which make both genres interesting and tasty.

Some of my favorite composers include Tchaikovsky, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Lerner and Lowe , Rogers and Hammerstein, Beethoven, Verdi, Puccini, Mozart, and Bizet.  Some of my favorite singers include Harry Belafonte, Dolly Parton, Shakira, Nina Simone, Marvin Gaye, Bob Dylan, Pete Seegar, Paul Robeson, Little Richard, Arlo Guthrie, the Beetles, Elvis Presley, and Ronnie Milsap.  I have listened to and love most of the great operatic tenors and sopranos from Caruso to Fatma Said.  The list of these great singers would take up two pages at least.

I want to conclude these reflections on the Music that has made a difference in my life with a simple explanation of why so much of the music from the above sources has made a difference and what differences they have made.

When I was young, I did not listen to much music.  My parents were never very musical and if it was not on the radio, we never had any music around the house.  Sometime, around my middle school years (5th and 6th grades, I discovered rock and roll.  This would have been during the birth or at least White birth of Rock and Roll (1954 was when the genre got its name).  Black people had been listening to similar music long before Elvis Presley came on the Ed Sullivan show in 1956.  Later, when I went to high school, I took a course in Classical music which I found boring.  I hated the class.  I mostly enjoyed listening to Rock and Roll.  Country was not really an option on the East Coast in the fifties.  I cannot say to have had any deep or serious appreciation of music.

I think the big change in my musical tastes occurred after my first wife and I split.  I realized that I had been so focused on work that I had little time for anything else.  I wanted to start trying new things out and doing some things that I had never done before.  Being alone, I rediscovered my joy for libraries and just sitting around reading a good book.  The library in Eau Claire had the typical reading rooms as well as a few music rooms.  You could select some albums from the library collection and listen to them in the room with a headset.  I decided to explore several of the genres that I had avoided when younger.  I selected a large amount of classical music, folk music, and world music to explore.

You know how when you first taste something, you may not like it.  However, the more you eat it the more it grows on you.  That was how music went with me.  The more I tasted of Beethoven, Bach, Brahms, and other types of music from different parts of the globe, the more I began to love music.  My music menu soon extended to well beyond Rock and Roll to many of the genres that I have already mentioned.  My diet for music became insatiable.  Karen and I try to go to at least one musical performance a month.

This Saturday Karen and I are going to the 2024 Race Amity Day: Unity Through Music program at the Baha’i Faith Community Center in Scottsdale.  We are not members of the Baha’i faith and are going with some friends who invited us.  Karen plays piano and several other instruments very well.  She often does some solo performances as well as group performances.  Over the years I have declined Karen’s encouragement to become a player.  I prefer to be a listener.  Too much dedication and focus required to become a good player is not in my age-appropriate activity group.  I am happy to go to interesting performances and enjoy someone else who plays or sings or composes better than I ever could.

So, what do I get from the great deal of variety in my musical diet?  What are the nutritional benefits from this smorgasbord of music?  This is difficult to describe.  It seems that music mellows and tempers my moods.  Sometimes music is like a stimulant and it lifts my spirit and energizes me.  Spanish bullfight music does that for me.  Sometimes music is like a sedative, and it helps to calm and relax my mood.  “Love Me Tender” by Elvis has a very mellowing impact on my moods.  Sometimes music motivates me to do more and try harder.  The “Toreador Song” from Carmen has that effect on me.  Sometimes music reminds me that the world is much larger than the one I live in.  Pete Seegar’s “Where Have All the Flowers Gone” reminds me of this fact.

Perhaps the most impactful use of music in terms of influence is the music that teaches.  For example, Paul Robeson sang a song called the “Peat Bog Soldiers.”  It was written, composed, and first performed in a Nazi concentration camp (by political prisoners) in 1933.  By referencing the title, I found out that it was a famous protest song against Nazi Germany sung by the men and women in these concentration camps.  It is a well-known protest song in Europe.  The song from Madame Butterfly “Un bel dì, vedremo” always brings tears to my eyes.  This song taught me what happens when commitment and honesty are ignored.

Well that concludes as much as I can say about my musical influences.  I hope you have enjoyed your sojourn through my musical buffet.  May your musical diet be bountiful and nutritious and may you live your life with the sounds of music that you enjoy.

PS:  Some of the songs I liked are hyperlinked to YouTube music so you can listen to them. 

Next Reflection:

10.  These are the Scripture texts that have touched and helped me.

My Final Will and Testament – Influences – Reflection #9  — Part 2 Literature    

03 Jun 2024 2 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

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If you have gone this far with My Final Will and Testament, you will not need the introduction that I have used for the past 9 Reflections.  If this is your first visit to my series of fourteen reflections than I suggest that you go back to number one and start there.  This link will take you to the first reflection in my series:  “Things that I Have Loved in Life.” You will get the background to my thoughts and desires concerning this series of Reflections in this first blog.

Imagine that this is the last day of your life on earth.  In the time that you have left, you want to leave a “Testament” for your family and friends. 

  1. These are the Influences (people, literature, and Music) that have shaped me.

There are many categories of things which I could describe that have shaped my life.  However, for reasons of expediency I have limited them to three: People, music, and literature.  I will briefly discuss some of the major formative experiences in each category.  On any given day, I could add or subtract several of these experiences and swap them out with others.  The things that have made a difference in my life are like the desert sands.  They shift and take various shapes depending on how the winds of my mind are blowing.  Because the elements of this reflection are so numerous, I am going to break them down into three parts.  In Part 1, I will reflect on the People who have made the greatest contributions to my life.  In Part 2, I will reflect on the Literature that has most influenced my ideas and thoughts.  In Part 3, I will describe the Music and Composers that have moved my feelings, my emotions, and my soul.

Part 2, Literature

Many of my “Best” friends have been the books in my life.  I wrote an old blog about my love affair with books.  The title was, (What else?, “Books, Books, Books, Books, Books”).  If I have ever loved anything at first sight, it was a book.  Perhaps something in a title grabbed me and would not let me go or it might have been learning about the book from someone else who had read it.  Hearing about the book, I immediately knew that I wanted to meet the book and when I did I fell in love with it.

I have read so many books, I am not sure where to start.  I have had love affairs with genres that have lasted for many years but ultimately have died.  I am not sure what caused us to break up but somehow I lost interest and moved on to other genres.  Some of my past affairs include the following:  Science Fiction, Business Management, Feminist Literature, Native American Literature, Black Studies, Sword and Sorcery, Satire and Black Humor, Marxism, Adventure Fiction, Biographies and Autobiographies, Classic Literature, Religions and Philosophy, Worlds Greatest Books, Self-Help books and Self-Improvement books, Exercise and Diet, and Spy novels.

My current love affairs are with two different, but I think intimately related genres.  These include History and Political books.  Like Santayana, I do not think you can really understand what is happening in the present if you do not understand the past.  History informs and shapes everything we say and do today though most people hardly realize it.

Politics seem overwhelming to many of us.  The more I study about politics and the people who shape politics, the less I understand the world.  It is like stepping into a pit of quicksand.  The more I struggle to make sense of what is happening, the deeper I sink into the pit.  Sometimes, I feel like I am about to lose my mind.  Other times, I feel that my current passions are starting to drive my friends away.  Many of my friends do not share my passions.  Some believe that I am deluded in thinking that they will love me back.  Philosophers are seldom on the night time talk shows.

I keep trying to determine if I need to somehow escape from the Zeitgeist or Weltanschauung which envelopes me.  I once heard a noted speaker say, “Why bother about something, if you can not do something about it.”  I like to think that maybe my writings are making a difference, but that stretches my credibility further than even I can admit to myself.  Perhaps politics is simply an addictive drug and not a love affair.  In any case, here are the books and authors that I most want to note as having had a major influence on my life.  The following authors have each had too many writings or books that I have enjoyed for me to list each one, so I am lumping their writings under their names.

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Influential Authors

Fyodor Dostoevsky:

Perhaps the first writer that I fell in love with was the great Russian author Dostoevsky.  How he could describe the life and soul of another human being is beyond my ability to fathom.  I still marvel at his use of language and metaphors.  Even more, I admire his journeys into the souls of human beings.  The innermost dynamics and emotions that make people what they are.  His writings are never easy to travel through as each page requires thought and reflection.  Once through one of his novels, it is hard to believe that you will not think differently about life and yourself.   Read:  The Brothers Karamazov, Crime and Punishment, or Demons.

Edgar Allen Poe: 

To me the greatest horror and mystery writer who ever lived.  “Murders in the Rue Morgue” set the stage for future murder mysteries.  The “Pit and the Pendulum” was the most diabolical story I have ever read.  The “Cask of Amontillado” and the “Tale Tell Heart” had me looking under my bed at night.  For me anyway, Poe was the “Father of the Horror Genre.”  Later writers like Arthur Conan Doyle, Rod Serling and Afred Hitchcock did not entertain the horror that Poe could evoke but were just as adept at evoking the suspense that Poe wedded to the horror of his stories.  I do not read my horror or mysteries these days.  The horror genre has become quite cliched and predictable.  I still enjoy a good mystery and rely on the infrequent recommendation.  Books by Umberto Eco, E. L. Doctorow and Dan Brown will all provide you with some good escape reading.

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Mark Twain: 

Twain managed to write funny stories that had morals bigger than life.  He wrote many great stories and books that could be read by children as well as adults.  His writings have been criticized of late for not being PC by fools who want to forget the past.  Huckleberry Finn was an adventure story and a story about friendship and racism.  To change the language in the story is an insult to the history of literature as well as the author.   Twain skewered people and social conventions, but he did so in a way that left people laughing rather than angry.  Read:  Letters to the Earth, The War Prayer, or A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthurs Court.

Kurt Vonnegut:

On the way to my basic training, I picked up two books in the Newark Airport which had profound influences on my life.  One was by Lenny Bruce and was called “How to Talk Dirty and Influence People.”  It was not at all what I thought it would be like.  It was sacrilegious, blasphemous, and full of great insights into the hypocrisy around religion.  The other book was by Vonnegut.  It was titled “Cats Cradle.”  This book which some call “Black Humor” led me into a plethora of similar books by authors like, Anatole France, Joseph Heller, Terry Southern, Evelyn Waugh and Hunter Thompson.  I went on to read almost all of Vonnegut’s books until my love affair with sarcasm and social criticism ended.

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Influential Books:

I will give you the “abridged” version of several books which influenced my life.

“Out of the Crisis” by W. E. Deming: Taught me that most of what I learned in business school was wrong.  Taught me how business should really be conducted.

“The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings Trilogy” by Tolkien.  Perhaps the greatest fantasy adventure that has ever been written.  I wished I had been with them.

“Judgement under Uncertainty” by Kahneman and Tversky.  They would latter go on to win a Nobel Prize for their insights and research into human cognitive limitations.  Reading this book was like taking a Ph.D. in how to think more rationally and avoid biases.

“The Autobiography of Malcolm X:”  My foray into Black Studies began with this book.  I began to see the systemic racism that Black people in America still face and the efforts by many White people to discount this racism and pretend it does not still exist.  The story of a courageous man who was not afraid to speak out for a better world for Black people.  Malcolm gave his life to the cause.

“The Story of Philosophy: The Lives and Opinions of the Greater Philosophers.” by Will Durant.  A journey into the greatest philosophers of history.  There can be no better education than studying what the wise men and women of history including, Socrates, Plato, Rousseau, and many others have argued, written down and sometimes gave their lives for.  Durant takes on a difficult task to summarize and provide us with an overview of the core teachings of some of the world’s greatest philosophers.  It is an effort which should lead the reader to regard this book as a simple introduction to the great thoughts of history.  There are many other great philosophers some women and some from Eastern cultures who are not included in this book.  Read “The Trial of Socrates” by I.F. Stone.

“Against Our Will” by Susan Brownmiller.  Many of the feminist authors that I read or attended conferences with taught me that the world I see is not the same world that many women see.  I thought of myself as a fairly enlightened (if recovering sexist) male, but this book showed me that I still had a way to go.  I had thought rape was a crime of passion and I started out disagreeing with much of what Brownmiller was writing.  Halfway through the book, what she was saying started to make sense.  Rape was a crime of control.  Passion, short skirts, nice breasts had nothing to do with it.  It simply involved men wanting to either hurt or dominate women.  I would advise anyone interested in feminist studies to read this book.

“In a Grove” is a short Japanese story by Ryūnosuke Akutagawa.  It was first published in 1922 and has been given awards as one of the ten greatest Asian stories ever written.  The story had a major impact on the way I view truth and fact.  The story involves a fight and murder as described from four different perspectives.  The truth should be based on the facts given by the eyewitnesses, but the facts differ so much that it is impossible to declare what the truth is.  Anyone reading this story will understand that the metaphor of truth and facts applies to our lives.  Perspectives and opinions will vary greatly from person to person and even by the same person as time always influences memories.  I have used the premise of this story for many of my own stories and teachings.

I have probably long exceeded your tolerance for my ruminations.  I am grateful for any who have made it this far.  I swear I have left out many other books and stories that had some degree of impact on my life.  It is not easy sitting at a keyboard and trying to resurrect books that I read more than fifty or so years ago.  The big problem was that once I started putting my mind to this effort, the number of books grew exponentially.  With a concern for your patience and butt muscles, I have limited this list.  I must also apologize for some of the too succinct and perhaps inaccurate reflections on the books and authors noted above.  I hope if you are a devotee of any of them, you will forgive me for any abuses that I have done to their literary credentials.

Next blog, I will publish Part 3 of my reflections on the Influences that have shaped my life.  More specifically, Part 3 will deal with the “Music and Composers” that have shaped my thoughts and behaviors.

 

My Final Will and Testament – Influences – Reflection #9  — Part 1 People

31 May 2024 5 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

images If you have gone this far with “My Final Will and Testament” you will not need the introduction that I have used for the past 9 Reflections.  If this is your first visit to my series of fourteen reflections than I suggest that you go back to number one and start there.  This link will take you to the first reflection in my series:  “Things that I Have Loved in Life.” You will get the background to my thoughts and desires concerning this series of Reflections in this first blog.

Imagine that this is the last day of your life on earth.  In the time that you have left, you want to leave a “Testament” for your family and friends. 

  1. These are the Influences (people, literature, and Music) that have shaped me.

There are many categories of things which I could describe that have shaped my life.  However, for reasons of expediency I have limited them to three: People, music, and literature.  I will briefly discuss some of the major formative experiences in each category.  On any given day, I could add or subtract several of these experiences and swap them out with others.  The things that have made a difference in my life are like the desert sands.  They shift and take various shapes depending on how the winds of my mind are blowing.  Because the elements of this reflection are so numerous, I am going to break them down into three parts.  In Part 1, I will reflect on the People who have made the greatest contributions to my life.  In Part 2, I will reflect on the Literature that has most influenced my ideas and thoughts.  In Part 3, I will describe the Music that has moved my feelings, my emotions, and my soul.

Part 1, People:

This is easily the most formative and impactful of the categories that have made me the person I am today.  This category includes the people who have had the most influence on my life.  People that I will never forget.  These people have all helped me to be a better person.  They have been positive forces in my life.  I will refrain from discussing those people who have had a negative impact on my life.  It should be noted that negative events can easily be just as life changing as positive events.  However, in this “Last” testament, I want to stay positive.  There are ten people I need to mention who stand out from the rest.  My apologies to anyone who I have left out who reads this blog and feels slighted.  I am listing these friends, counselors, and mentors in chronological order of appearance in my life.

Mother Fyndoca: (1956)

My fifth-grade teacher at Mount St. Francis Academy who knew that I was a rascal and a troublemaker but who also saw the potential I had.  She never let me off the hook for any mischief I did but she never let go of believing in me.  She was always there to encourage me with compassion and understanding.  She died to young from cancer.

Kwame Rice: (1971)

I met Kwame while taking a Sociology class at Rhode Island College in 1971.  We had a diverse group of students including Latinos, African Americans, and Italian Americans in the class.  Providence is a very heavy Italian Community.  It is also quite a melting pot for other cultures.  The major focus in the class was going to be on Race Relations and Prejudice.  The class was excited because we reflected quite a bit of diversity and experiences.  We anticipated many interesting discussions.

The Professor must have been worried about conflict because he selected Judaism as the subject for our talks.  There was not a single Jewish student in the class.  Kwame, an African American student, who was also a returning veteran, and I met after class.  Both of us were equally annoyed by the Prof’s decision.  We jointly decided that whether he wanted to or not, we were going to bring up other ethnic groups in the class for discussion as well as Jews who faced discrimination.  The class had so much diversity that we were not going to let this opportunity pass.  It was clear from the start that Kwame and I were kindred spirits.

It is fifty-three years later, and we are still good friends and brothers.  Kwame is now a Pastor, and we regularly have discussions on the problems of America in terms of religion, politics, race, and a host of other subjects.  Over the years, these talks and our friendship have given me a whole different insight into the history of America and how Black people and other minorities have been treated very differently than White people.  Kwame cares deeply about people and trying to create a just society for all people regardless of race or religion.  Now that he is retired, he devotes much of his time to helping Veterans at a center in Providence.  He is still fiery about his passions and convictions and has not given up on any of them.

Margo House: (1976)

Margo was a counselor and a good friend.  During my separation from my first wife, she more or less adopted me.  I was alone with no job, no friends, no family in a town 2000 miles from where I was brought up.  Margo invited me on trips with her family and helped me to see that there was still light at the end of the tunnel.  She was a kind woman who never took any money for the counseling and advice that she gave me.

Evelyn Rimel: (1977)

Dr. Rimel was my counseling instructor when I took the MS program in Counseling at Stout State University.  She was open-minded and never gave negative comments to any students.  She showed her compassion for all of her students and did not discriminate among the students.  Every student had her complete attention and help when needed.  She could demonstrate the power of love and compassion to change lives far better than anyone I have ever known before or since.  She loved all people and it showed up in her efforts to help make her students into change agents for a more loving world.

Sister Giovanni: (1979)

I was hired as a counselor/teacher at Guadalupe Area Project (Gap) in West Side St. Paul by Sister Giovanni.  Sister G as she was known to all was a direct forceful woman who brooked no stupidity or false pretenses from anyone.  She was the founder and leader of GAP.  You might say that she could be as hard as iron and as soft as cotton.  She was never ambivalent, but she always knew the right amount of force to apply to any problem or person.  She accepted me for the teacher that I was and helped give me guidance to become a better teacher both mentally and spiritually.  During my hiring interview, I told her that I was an Atheist, her reply was, “I don’t care what your religion is as long as you are a good teacher.”

Bill Cox:  (1980)

The separation with my first wife led me to a period of introspection and self-reflection into my life, my heart, and my emotions.  I realized that I had a great deal of blame for the problems in my marriage.  Many of these problems stemmed from the macho culture that I grew up in.  It is a culture that America seems to be imbued with.  Women are often treated as chattel and as second-class citizens.  Somehow I found my way to something called the “Men’s Center.”  It was in the heart of downtown Minneapolis on Park Avenue.  The director of the center was William (Bill) Cox.  He was a retired Methodist Minister.

The Men’s Center hosted a weekly gathering of men who wanted to discuss what it meant to be a man today.  What were the pros and cons of the messages that society sent us about being male in America?  Something akin to the Women’s movement was going on during the early 80’s and the Men’s Center and Bill Cox were at the heart of it in Minnesota.  There were numerous new books coming out on the subject of male masculinity.  We even developed a yearly conference on masculinity in Minnesota.  I eventually took a role in this movement and presented several workshops.

Bill was a unique individual.  He was instrumental in founding and funding the Men’s Center.  He lived and breathed the desire to help other men.  He spent most of his waking time trying to grow the Men’s Center.  Over the years, Bill and I became close friends.  We did workshops and talks together on Masculinity.  He was another brother in my life along with Kwame.  When Karen and I were married in 1989, Bill was the minister for our wedding.  I could always go to Bill for advice and support.  He was one of the kindest, most intelligent men I had ever met.

Dr. W. E. Deming (1986)

I met Dr. Deming for the first time at one of his five-day Quality Improvement seminars in San Francisco.  Dr. Deming forever changed the way I looked at work and productivity.  I credit three people as geniuses that I have read about in my life:  Sigmund Freud, Albert Einstein, and Dr. W. E. Deming.  Of the three, I have only had the pleasure of knowing Dr. Deming personally.  I worked with Dr. Deming during the period from 1986 until he passed away in 1993.  My relationship with Dr. Deming was one of the great adventures of my life.  Dr. Deming could be charming or to say the least disarming.  He was never one to mince words or as they say to “suffer stupidity lightly.”

I had joined Process Management International (PMI) after completing my Ph.D. degree in 1986.  PMI was founded by three former managers from Control Data Corporation in Minnesota with the guidance of Dr. Deming.  The practice of PMI was based on Dr. Demings famous 14 Points for Management.  I was familiar with Dr. Deming but did not know anything about his points/principles.  At the conference with Deming in San Francisco, I was designated to be one of his two helpers.  My boss Lou Schultz introduced me to Dr. Deming.  Lou said to Dr. Deming, “I would like you to meet one of my new employees.  Dr. Persico has just graduated from the University of Minnesota with a Ph.D. in Business.”  Dr. Deming shook my hand while replying “Humph, business schools, teach you all the wrong things.  Ph. D in business a total waste of time.”   That was my first meeting with Dr. Deming.  I cannot say that I was totally enamored with Dr. Deming at this point in our relationship.

Over the years, I worked with Dr. Deming many times.  At first, I was willing to concede that he might have been right about some of the things that I learned in business school being useless.  However, the more I learned from Dr. Deming, the more “right” he became in his pronouncement about business schools teaching all the wrong things.  Later on, I was 99 percent sure that he was correct.  I learned more about business from Deming than I ever did in my five or so years at the University of Minnesota.

The teachings of Dr. Deming opened a whole new way for me to see the world.  There was good in this and bad in this.  The good was in teaching me what a force for solving the problems of the world a business perspective could be.  The bad was in raising my expectations about how things could be only to see smart business-people doing dumb things over and over again.  Dr. Deming used to say, “There is nothing common about common sense.”  Also, “You put a good person in a bad system and the system will win every time.”

Sam Pakenham Walsh:  (1986)

Sam was easily the most educated and one of the smartest men I have ever met in my life.  If there ever was a model or prototype for an educated Oxford man it would have been Sam P-W.  Sam was also a consultant at PMI.  I was assigned to work with Sam on my first consultant engagement with International Nickel Corporation (INCO) in Canada.  While I learned most of what I know from Deming about business, I learned everything about consulting with clients from Sam P-W.  Like Deming, Sam was direct and did not mince words.  I respect this in a man or woman and value it most highly in a friendship.  Sam and I became good friends over time.  We had our share of disagreements and arguments, but we never lost respect for each other.

One of Sam’s most powerful abilities was what endeared him most to me but often was his downfall with clients.  Sam was the quintessential intellectual.  He reminded me of Thomas Jefferson.  Sam read more and knew more about philosophy and science than anyone else I have ever met in life.  Up to the time that Sam died at the age of 86, he was still learning and studying new ideas and new theories.  Sam’s ideas could be very esoteric, and this often did not go over well with clients.  Only the most open-minded and astute clients who would take the time to understand what Sam was telling them were receptive to some of his ideas.  He was frequently discounted as being too intellectual.

When it came to the realm of intellect, I lost my primary benefactor when Sam passed away.  Never one to be pragmatic, Sam taught me about thinking and logic and reasoning.  He understood more about the Scientific Method and Process Analysis than anyone else that I have ever worked regularly with.   Being logical and rationale is an endeavor that with Sam in mind, I continue to try to develop in my life.

Dr. Hana Tomasek: (1987)

Dr. Tomasek was a refugee from the Czech republic who fled her native land after the Russian invasion of 1968.   Hana came to this country speaking little English and with only her husband Yara and two suitcases.  They fled in the middle of the night and somehow evaded the border guards to find freedom in the USA.  Hana had a Ph.D. in Chemistry, and her husband Yara was an inventor and mechanical engineer with several patents to his name.  Since she could speak no English she could not find a job commensurate with her knowledge, skills, and abilities.  Hana took a job in a piece work factory nights making jewelry until she learned enough English to find other employment.

When I met Hana, she had become a contract consultant with PMI.  She helped other consultants to develop teaching, consultant skills and methods for working with clients.  Hana helped me with several classes and seminars that I had to put on while I was working with clients.  Hana had the people skills that anyone would be envious of.  She could always get her ideas across without offending anyone.  While I learned my business skills from Dr. Deming and my consulting skills from Sam P-W, I learned my people skills from Hana.  We became good friends.

Over the years, Hana, Karen, Yara and I did many things together.  From canoe trips to parties and Fourth of July celebrations, our lives were enriched by our times together.  We eventually went to the Czech Republic and stayed with a friend of Hana who took us around Prague and the Czech Republic.  We met some of Hana’s other friends and relatives.  Hana never forgot her folks back home and regularly made trips to her homeland to start a consulting company there.  Her company helped to put the Czech Republic on the road to Quality Management and Quality Improvement.  She spoke many times at conferences in the Czech Republic and was much admired by all the people there as well as anyone she ever met in the USA.

When Hana passed away, some of us put a memorial bench up in her honor near the lake that she loved so much.  Hana was one of those unique individuals who help to make the world a better place.

Helen Boyer: (1999)

In 1999, I quit full time consulting and went to work for the Minnesota Metropolitan Council.  My title was Principle Consultant 2.  It was my job to put the Met Council on the right path to implementing a Quality Improvement Program.  Helen Boyer was the Director of the division that I worked in called the Environmental Services Division.  I had a boss directly over me, but I reported to Helen on a regular basis.  She was a severe but totally fair task master.  I was the expert in Quality Control, but she was the expert in managing a regional government body representing seven of Minnesota’s metropolitan counties including, Anoka, Carver, Dakota, Hennepin, Ramsey, Scott, and Washington County.

Perhaps more than any other manager I have ever worked for, Helen gave me the opportunity to do the work that I was hired for.  She backed me up when needed and provided me with the time and labor to implement a large number of major quality improvement projects.  She never rejected any of my ideas out of hand.  In fact, I never remember her rejecting any of my ideas.  She always insisted on facts and data to support an idea, but she was one of the most open-minded people I have ever known.  Helen had a degree in Law and a degree in Chemistry which served her well as the leader of a division that was scientifically oriented but still rife with politics.

When I came to the Met Council, I was about a 1 in knowledge of Government politics.  With Helen’s help, when I left two years later,  I had graduated from a one to a five.  If I had stayed longer, I would have made even more progress.  However, “Ever Upward” was my financial motto back in those days and I left for a  great deal more money than I could be making in the Government.

Karen Blomgren:  (1983) Due to my “Special” relationship with Karen she is out of sequence. 

In 1989, Karen Blomgren Hinze and I went to China together.  We went there on our own and came back about two weeks before the Tiananmen Square Massacre on June 4, 1989.  The Chinese uprising had actually started nearly two months earlier when the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) general secretary Hu Yaobang died in April 19.  We spent three weeks traveling around China from about the third week of April to the second week of May.  During this time, we traveled from Shanghai, to Hangzhou, to Huangshan, to Nanjing and back to Shanghai.  We traveled by local bus, commuter bus, train, bicycle, foot, car, and even a gondola.  We traveled most of the trip by ourselves but a few times with some new friends that we met on our travels whom we remain friends with today.  During this trip, I bought Karen an engagement ring.

When we returned to the states, we planned our marriage.  On Sept 5th, 1989, Karen Blomgren Hinze became Karen Blomgren Persico.  Karen does not actually use the name Blomgren which is her maiden name.  However, I have a difficult time not thinking of her as a Blomgren since she was so close to her Mother and Father.

Karen grew up as an only child.  She may have been somewhat spoiled.  Nevertheless, Karen’s parents not having enough money to pay her way to college for a degree in Nursing, Karen worked and paid it all off herself.  She has never shown any resentment for her parents not being able to give her a free ride.  Karen has never expressed anything other than gratitude and admiration for the way that she was treated as a child and for the lessons that her parents taught her.

Karen is one of the kindest and most optimistic people you will ever meet.  She is also one of the most frugal humans I know.  She would rather shop at a Goodwill or Salvation Army than go to any regular retail store.  The other day, I wanted to take her to some upscale designer outlet shops in Tucson to buy a new purse and dress for my 60th high school reunion.  I told her “why am I still working part-time if we can’t afford some luxury items once in a while?”  Fourteen years down here and we had never been to even one of these fancy outlet shops.

We drove down and went from outlet store to outlet store.  We saw all the big names, Michael Kors, Prada, Coach, Ives Laurent, and many others.  Karen looked and looked.  She picked out products that had sixty percent off.  A purse that went for 500 dollars was reduced to 200 dollars.  Item after item she put back on the shelf or rack.  The same thing happened in every store we went to.  Frankly, I was bewildered at how much many of these products still cost even with a sixty percent discount.

I finally said, “how about we go back to Casa Grande and check out the Marshalls and Ross stores there?”  In the blink of an eye, we were back in the car and headed north to Casa Grande.  Once we arrived in the Promenade parking lot, It did not take Karen 20 minutes to find a nice dress and a new purse.  I think the total amount for both was about 60 dollars.  No one could ask for or find a better wife if they went to every continent in the world.  Karen is always ready to give me a back rub when I need it.  She is a great cook.  Sews many of the things that grace our house and is always ready to take off with me on some of my adventures.  She is not a complainer even when my adventure turns out to be a dud.  Karen is optimistic, always positive and hopeful as well.  Many people have told me that it is a miracle that she puts up with my pessimism, my radical politics, and my negativity towards the world.  If I were to use the word blessed, here is what I would say “I am blessed to have Karen for my wife.”

Well, that’s all.  I could have said a lot more about each of these wonderful people.  I should also have remembered many other people whom I have passed over.  Alas, our allotted space and time in the world never permits us the ability to recognize all the good deeds that others have done for us.  My apologies again for anyone that I have slighted or overlooked.

Next, I will publish Part 2 of my reflections on the Influences that have shaped my life.  More specifically, Part 2 will deal with the “Literature and Authors” that have shaped my thoughts and behaviors.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bidens Farewell Song for Palestine

29 May 2024 2 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

logosow

Oh My God!  They killed 1200 Israelis,

Those horrible terrible Palestinian Barbarians,

They slaughtered innocent women and children.

Those Hamas Terrorists took 220 hostages,

They are nothing but animals and savages.

REFRAIN:

I’ve got your back.  I’ve got your back.

I stand behind you.  I stand behind you.

Nothing can come between us. 

BiBi, I am your friend.  I am your friend.

How many bombs and bullets do you need?          

Your revenge is just.  Your attack is sanctioned.

How many Palestinians will you need to kill?

They say that women were raped, and children were beheaded.

They are nothing but animals and savages.

1,000 Palestinians Now Dead

REFRAIN:

I’ve got your back.  I’ve got your back.

I stand behind you.  I stand behind you.

Nothing can come between us. 

BiBi, I am your friend.  I am your friend.

How many bombs and bullets do you need?          

 The hell you are unleashing on innocent women and children we can overlook.

My polls are still strong.  Americans are with you.

We will silence opposition at home.

Anyone speaking out will be labeled an Anti-Semite.

They are nothing but animals and savages.

10,000 Palestinians Now Dead

REFRAIN:        

I’ve got your back.  I’ve got your back.

I stand behind you.  I stand behind you.

Nothing can come between us. 

BiBi, I am your friend.  I am your friend.

How many bombs and bullets do you need?     

Our students are protesting.

There are riots on our campuses.

Administrators are ignoring the Antisemites on campus.

How much longer do your think it will take Bibi?

15,000 Palestinians Now Dead

REFRAIN:

I’ve got your back.  I’ve got your back.

I stand behind you.  I stand behind you.

Nothing can come between us. 

BiBi, I am your friend.  I am your friend.

How many bombs and bullets do you need?          

My advisors are starting to worry about my poll numbers.

This is going to be a close race.

Many students and progressives say they will not vote for me.

Some people are even calling me Genocide Joe.

Do you think this has gone far enough Bibi?

20,000 Palestinians Now Dead

REFRAIN:

I’ve got your back.  I’ve got your back.

I stand behind you.  I stand behind you.

Nothing can come between us. 

BiBi, I am your friend.  I am your friend.

How many bombs and bullets do you need?

Can I suggest that you not bomb any more hospitals?

How about we send them some aid?

My poll numbers are not improving.

Would you be willing not to bomb any more refugee camps?

This war is starting to really hurt my image Bibi.

25,000 Palestinians Now Dead 

REFRAIN:

I’ve got your back.  I’ve got your back.

I stand behind you.  I stand behind you.

Nothing can come between us. 

BiBi, I am your friend.  I am your friend.

How many bombs and bullets do you need?

Some of my advisors are leaving.

Some of my supporters are quitting.

We have not been able to silence the protestors.  I mean Antisemites.

Do you think you could wrap things up soon Bibi?

Did I already ask about you not bombing any more refugee camps?

30,000 Palestinians Now Dead

REFRAIN:  

I’ve got your back.  I’ve got your back.

I stand behind you.  I stand behind you.

Nothing can come between us. 

BiBi, I am your friend.  I am your friend.

How many bombs and bullets do you need?                    

I am going to draw a line Bibi.

I draw most of my lines in the sand, so not to worry.

I have been called complicit in this Holocaust of Palestinian people.

Do you think history will exonerate us Bibi?

Do you still need any more bombs and bullets?

35,000 Palestinians Now Dead and Counting  

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/israel-rafah-strike-ground-assault-dont-cross-bidens-red-line-rcna154428

Requiem for America:  Our Battle with Fate

28 May 2024 10 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

fortune

I wrote this blog seven years ago about the time that Trump assumed the office of the President of the United States of America.  As I stumbled across it again, I could not help feeling that nothing has changed in this country.  Therefore I am posting this blog again in the futile hope that one voter might read it and change his or her mind.

January 21, 2017

Many of you have no doubt heard the tone poem by Carl Orff titled Carmina Burana.  One of the famous parts of this musical piece is taken from a poem called “O Fortuna.”  It is a Medieval Latin poem written early in the 13th century.  I started thinking about it today as Trump became the 45th President of the United States of America.  I have never much believed in fate, preferring to think that we are masters of our own destiny and fate be dammed.  But as the inexorable reality of the inauguration kept intruding on my existence, I was forced back to the conclusion that perhaps fortune does rule the world.  (To listen click here O Fortuna)

Like the moon you are changeable,
ever waxing and waning;
hateful life first oppresses and then soothes as fancy takes it;
poverty and power it melts them like ice.

I loathe this greedy narcissist.  I loathe his values.  I loathe his words.  He represents everything I hate in myself and in humanity.  We keep trying to destroy the racism and fear and prejudice that we are brought up with but fate impels us to confront a world that seems to thrive on such iniquities.  My relatives, my friends, my co-workers —- they voted for this reprobate and now exult in his coronation.  I stand impotently on the sidelines questioning (as many Jews in the Holocaust questioned) why God has deserted us.  Have we committed some grave sin worthy of the future that fate now seems to have assigned us?

Trying against
Fate – monstrous and empty,
you whirling wheel,
you are malevolent,
well-being is vain and always fades to nothing,
shadowed and veiled you plague me too;
now through the game I bring my bare back to your villainy.

My good intentions.  My desire to be tolerant and virtuous.  My goal to treat others with compassion and kindness all seem to melt in the face of a Fate that decries a monster who will now rule over us.  I hear the voices that say “give him a chance.”  I wonder what chance they want.  A chance to create more greed.  A chance to create more racism.  A chance to create more sexism.  Have we not enough bigotry in this country?  Have we not enough inhumanity towards others?  We created the Atom bomb.  We created the Hydrogen Bomb.  We created weapons of biological and chemical warfare that can destroy millions.  We take no heed whether they kill children or innocents.  We are now all guilty in our incessant warfare.  The only thing that counts is creating more efficient means of murdering people.

Fate is against me in health and virtue,
driven on and weighted down,
always enslaved.
So at this hour without delay pluck the vibrating strings;
since Fate strikes down the strong man,
everyone weep with me!

I wake up disbelieving that I live in this reality.  I joke that I am in Wonderland and whatever one believes is the reality that exists.  But I did not believe in this reality.  I have done everything that I thought I could to help make the world a better place.  I thought my friends and family and neighbors wanted the same world that I wanted.  It seems clear now that we did not share the same reality.

I curse the fate that has brought our nation to this point.  I curse the people that voted for this Frankenstein.  I curse the party that nominated this abomination.  Deep inside, I wonder what I did to contribute to this horror.  Does my own hate somehow create the fate that I seek to escape from?

Abraham, John, Robert and Martin all dead — killed by that coward called fate.  But let us not forget Jimmie Lee Jackson and Clyde Kennard and Juliette Hampton Morgan and James Reeb and Jonathan Myrick Daniels and Viola Gregg Liuzzo and Vernon Dahmer and Oneal Moore and George Lee and Harriet and Harry Moore.  They also were martyrs.  They also died fighting fate.

Do not believe that the good die young.  The good die pregnant with a dream for a better world.

Time for Questions:

So what is left?  Nihilism?  Apathy?  Hate?  Bitterness?  Resistance?  Fight?  Hope?  Will a dream for a better America arise from the ashes of despair?

Life is just beginning.

“I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.”  —   Booker T. Washington

fortune

My Final Will and Testament – Life’s Lessons – Reflection #8

24 May 2024 1 Comment

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

Life Lessons sign with sky background

Last year at my 40th Demontreville Retreat, one of the exercises that we were given by the Retreat Master included a very challenging set of thoughts.  The worksheet for the activity was labeled as “A Testament.” I took the worksheet and instructions home with me.  It had fourteen tasks or reflections to complete.  I did not desire to complete them during the retreat.  It is now almost a year since my retreat, and I have decided to make the mental and emotional effort necessary to complete this “Testament.”

The worksheet started with these instructions:

Imagine that this is the last day of your life on earth.  In the time that you have left, you want to leave a “Testament” for your family and friends.  Each of the following could serve as chapter headings for your “Testament.”

  1. These are the lessons that life has taught me.

Ironic that the greatest Lesson I have learned in life is one that I have not mastered.  I have been (and probably still am) one of the most impatient people in the world.  I hate lines.  I hate regressions.  I hate delays.  I hate redundancies.  I hate process inefficiencies.  I hate waiting for Trump to get his just deserts.  I hate waiting to see his sycophantic followers crying in their beer when he goes to jail.

Martin Luther King said that, “The moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends towards justice.”  I wish every day that I could speed the arc up.  I eat fast.  Brush my teeth fast.  Get ready fast.  But I am working on slowing down.  A good friend of mine once told me while we were canoeing to, “stop and smell the roses more often.”  Patience is one of my seven cardinal values.  I devote time each week to reflecting on and thinking about patience.  I certainly need as much practice as I can get with being patient.

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Patience is a prerequisite for a happy and healthy life.  I say it and I believe it even if I don’t always manage to practice it.  Patience is the foundation for everything we ever achieve in life.  I know this is true and I know I will probably be working on patience for the remainder of my life.  But please do not let my inconsistencies and lack of progress rob this virtue from your consideration.  Don’t take my word for it.  Here are some others, much wiser than I am, who have extoled the virtues and benefits of patience:

  • “He that can have patience can have what he will.” — Benjamin Franklin
  • “The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” — Leo Tolstoy
  • “A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.” — George Savile

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Perhaps the second most important Lesson I have learned in life is that if you speak out against injustice, if you stand up to injustice, if you rage against unfair and hypocritical institutions, you will not be safe.  Bernadine Dohrn famously said, “You can say whatever you want in America, until someone starts listening to you”  Once you start being heard, you will be viciously assaulted.  You may lose your job, lose your prestige and even lose your life.

Today, protesters against the genocide and murders taking place in Gaza are being labeled as terrorists, unpatriotic and of course Anti- Semites.  The establishment (including most of the Democratic Party) is attacking the integrity and courage of these young student protestors with some of the worst slander and insults to free speech that I have heard since the Vietnam War and Civil Rights protests.  Dohrn also said “Dissent is the highest form of patriotism.”  It is obvious that this is not believed by Biden and his supporters and most of the Republicans in office.  My lesson here is to have the courage and integrity to speak your truth but don’t expect a standing ovation.

I have learned many other Lessons in my few years on this earth.  Here are some that I believe are important.  I may have already talked about these in other reflections:

  • Time is more valuable than money.
  • Kindness is more important than knowledge.
  • Love makes the world go round but it won’t pay the bills.
  • Power corrupts but money is a more powerful drug.  Money can destroy you even faster than any drug will.
  • If you want to be healthy, keep moving.  Have an exercise plan and work it.  Never give up but adjust to your circumstances.
  • We choose our attitudes. I can wake up mean or I can wake up kind.  I can go to bed mean or I can go to bed kind.  God has nothing to do with my attitude.
  • I need to be grateful, thankful, and charitable to all for the life that I am living.

  Next Reflection:    

  1. These are the influences (people, events, experiences, books) that have shaped me.

My Final Will and Testament – Sufferings – Reflection #7

22 May 2024 3 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

images (1)Last year at my 40th Demontreville Retreat, one of the exercises that we were given by the Retreat Master included a very challenging set of thoughts.  The worksheet for the activity was labeled as “A Testament.” I took the worksheet and instructions home with me.  It had fourteen tasks or reflections to complete.  I did not desire to complete them during the retreat.  It is now almost a year since my retreat, and I have decided to make the mental and emotional effort necessary to complete this “Testament.” 

The worksheet started with these instructions:

Imagine that this is the last day of your life on earth.  In the time that you have left, you want to leave a “Testament” for your family and friends.  Each of the following could serve as chapter headings for your “Testament.”

7.  These are the Sufferings that have seasoned me and made me more compassionate.

How to start talking about Sufferings without sounding like a whinny spoiled brat?  Sure, I have had some downs, and I will mention them.  But my life has not been anywhere near the life that I know other people have lived.  In my 77 years on this earth, I have met people who have been through unimaginable and unspeakable sufferings.  If anything has made me more compassionate, it is listening to their stories.  Let me just tell you one that I recently encountered.

A week or so ago, I had a substitute teaching job for the JROTC program at our local high school.  I looked forward to this work since the kids who take this program are usually UBER well-behaved.  JROTC is a program staffed by Marine personnel with the blessing of the school administration.  When I arrived, the full-time teacher was away but there was another staff member.  He was a retired Marine Corp NCO.  I will call him Nick but that is not his real name.  Nick was missing a leg.  He had served in the Gulf Wars and been hit with an IED or Improvised Explosive Device.  He spent several months in a VA hospital but finished his tour of duty and retired from the Marine Corp.

Nick suffered from many other injuries and also had a form of degenerative MS which was slowly killing him.  We talked most of the day as you can imagine two veterans would do.  Nick had a family and two children.  I met one of his kids and was impressed by her closeness with her dad, something I never experienced with my daughter.  Despite his disabilities, Nick claimed no special privileges in life.  He was positive and happy to be alive.  He enjoyed working with the schoolchildren and trying to make a difference in their lives.  Throughout the day, I detected not one bit of remorse or self-pity on Nick’s part.

When I left home at 18 and joined the military, I resolved never to blame my parents for anything I would experience in life.  I was now an adult.  It did not matter that I had an abusive father growing up or that I often felt like a “motherless” child.  I was now an adult and my destiny in life was in my own hands.

I experienced suffering when I caught my first wife in bed with a co-worker and she wanted to leave me for him.  I experienced suffering for nearly twenty years when my only daughter did not want to speak with me.  She was married twice, and I was not invited to either wedding.  She had two grandchildren whom I have only seen maybe three or four times in the last thirty years.  I have improved my relationship with my daughter somewhat over the past five years.  She and I get together for lunch each time I come back to Minnesota.

imagesAm I a very happy person?  Most of my friends would probably say no.  My sufferings though are mostly self-inflicted.  My thoughts on the life that I should have lived haunt me.  Try as I might I can’t let go of the things I fucked up in this world.  I can’t even forget the teacher in the third grade who told me to, “Shut my mouth and stop singing.”  Seventy years later and it feels like if I try to sing, something awful will happen to me.  I would rather jump off of a cliff than sing a note.

A number of years ago, I had a job which required me to do some collections from overdue purchasers of various products.  I did a car repo, and I did not feel too bad about it since I thought, “Why should anyone have a brand-new car if they could not make the payments?”  At this point in my life, I was still just scrapping by financially.  I had never had anything more than a ten-year-old vehicle.  I was still buying cars from the junk yard as well as used tires from the junk yard.

images (2)One day, I had to go out to do a repo on a guy who bought a TV set and was not making his payments.  I went to the poor section of town and walked up to the address I had been given.  It looked like maybe a three-room small bungalow.  The yard was gated, and I looked for a dog.  Not seeing any, I opened the gate and walked up to the front door.  There was a screen door.  The main door was open, and I could see into the house.  I knocked loudly on the door as there was no doorbell.  I could see a living room and a kitchen.  Out of the kitchen, a large man started coming to the door.  As he drew closer, I could see he had no legs.  He was missing both legs and was walking with two crutches.  He asked me what I wanted.  I hesitated and then answered “Sorry, I must have the wrong house.”  I went back to my office and quit the same day.  I figured he needed the TV more than my company needed the money.  I could not do a job that required me to take from poor people what little they had in life.

These are some of the sufferings that try men’s souls and women’s as well.  In some sense, they are also our sufferings.  John Donne (1572-1631) wrote, “For thee Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls.”  The sufferings of humanity are all of our responsibilities.

My years working as an AFDC (Aid to Families with Dependent Children) counselor taught me that while I might have one or two things to cause me suffering, many other people have three, four, five or more problems.  I cannot begin to describe all the inhumanity that I saw reflected in the lives of my clients.  And then you have the “financially responsible politicians” who demand that many of these people get a job if they are going to receive welfare.  A whole cadre of human beings who disparage and denigrate the less fortunate as “welfare queens,  free loaders, leeches and parasites.”  Many so-called Christians who forget the words of Jesus,  “Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.” — Mark 10:21:

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So that’s all Folks.  My life has been a breeze.  My friend Kwame always says that he is blessed.  I never use that word, but I suppose I have been blessed.  I have good health.  I have a great wife.  I have enough money to pay my bills and go on a vacation each year.  My only sufferings in life now are watching so many of my friends and relatives pass away.  I fear I might be the last man standing in a world that I feel increasingly alienated from.

Next Reflection:    

  1. These are the Lessons that life has taught me.

My Final Will and Testament – Risks – Reflection #6

20 May 2024 2 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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Last year at my 40th Demontreville Retreat, one of the exercises that we were given by the Retreat Master included a very challenging set of thoughts.  The worksheet for the activity was labeled as “A Testament.” I took the worksheet and instructions home with me.  It had fourteen tasks or reflections to complete.  I did not desire to complete them during the retreat.  It is now almost a year since my retreat, and I have decided to make the mental and emotional effort necessary to complete this “Testament.”

The worksheet started with these instructions:

Imagine that this is the last day of your life on earth.  In the time that you have left, you want to leave a “Testament” for your family and friends.  Each of the following could serve as chapter headings for your “Testament.”

6.  These are the greatest Risks that I have taken in my life.

I have never really thought of myself as a risktaker.  First-born children are usually more pampered, and some believe that this results in them being less willing to take risks.  I know when it comes to physical things, I am not much of a risktaker.  I do not want to climb any mountains and I have only had one sky diving experience.  I am certainly not and have never been into what are called “Extreme Sports.”

When it came to business, I had always wanted to start my own company.  I have tried at least five times and have not really been very successful.  I attribute my failures to my lack of being willing to take risks when it comes to money.  I am very conservative financially.  I have shunned any  real monetary risks.  I tried starting a newspaper.  That did not go very well.  I also tried starting an on-line bookstore to focus on selling business related books. I invested some of our insurance money into the latter venture and lost every penny.  In both cases, failure did not lead me to getting up and trying again.  I took our losses and bailed rather than investing more money in either venture.

One risk that I have always taken was in terms of fighting.  Some of you might think fighting is wrong but I have always been willing to stand up to bullies and fight them either physically or emotionally.  Long before Trump  was being called a liar, I labeled him as such in my blogs.  In fact, when his first book “The Art of the Deal” came out, I wrote a review and basically described his book as worthless in terms of any useful financial advice.  I have written almost twenty blogs noting many reasons why the world would be better off with Trump in jail than running lose on the streets.

I have always written in my blogs what I think is the truth regardless of the circumstances.  Here in Arizona City, I was one of the few if not the only person in town to have a Hillary and Biden campaign posters in my front yard during the elections.  I was warned by my next-door neighbor that this might not be a good idea.  With Karen’s blessing, we left our posters up.

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Another area that I have been willing to take risks in has been in terms of travel.  Karen and I have been to 44 countries now.  We went to China on our own two weeks before the Tiananmen Square Massacre.  We departed from the Shanghai airport for home the day before they closed it down.  We traveled over a great deal of China with a friend that we met there but also a great deal on our own.

Over the years and many trips, we have never gone on any large cruises.  We weigh the risks in traveling but we much prefer to travel alone.  I can’t imagine a trip where I have to go to any place at a specific time with a large group.  The one major exception to our travels with any pre-plans was our trip to South Africa.  A year or so ago, we went to South Africa on a custom tour.  We planned the trip with the cruise company.  During our trip we traveled with private guides to events and places that we had agreed on beforehand.  We have been warned many times about not going to places like Peru, Israel, Mexico, Russia and other countries.  With the exception of Russia which fell through because of Covid we have had wonderful trips in every country that we have visited.

I guess my final area of risk taking, besides being willing to try almost any food in the world, concerns my leaving home at 18 to join the military.  I decided to leave home without telling my parents that I was joining the miliary.  This was in 1964 during the Vietnam war and I thought that fighting communism in SE Asia was a patriotic thing to do.  Perhaps more important than that desire was my desire to leave home and see some of the world.  I wrote about my adventures in the United States Airforce in a three-part blog about five years ago.  If you really want to hear more about this story, go to https://agingcapriciously.com/2019/11/10/the-day-i-joined-the-airforce-part-one

Well friends, that’s it for this reflection.  I can’t think of any major risks I have taken that seemed either scary or frightening.  I have always been up for adventures but never much of a leader when it comes to breaking new trails.  I am a great follower though.  If you have any adventure planned, I would be more than happy to join you.

Next Reflection:    

  1. These are the sufferings that have seasoned me and made me more compassionate.

 

My Final Will and Testament – Insights – Reflection #5

18 May 2024 4 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

transfrom-data-actionable-insights

Last year at my 40th Demontreville Retreat, one of the exercises that we were given by the Retreat Master included a very challenging set of thoughts.  The worksheet for the activity was labeled as “A Testament.” I took the worksheet and instructions home with me.  It had fourteen tasks or reflections to complete.  I did not desire to complete them during the retreat.  It is now almost a year since my retreat, and I have decided to make the mental and emotional effort necessary to complete this “Testament.”

The worksheet started with these instructions:

Imagine that this is the last day of your life on earth.  In the time that you have left, you want to leave a “Testament” for your family and friends.  Each of the following could serve as chapter headings for your “Testament.”

5.  These are ten of the greatest Insights that I have gained in the School of Life.

Friends are like flowers:

I have realized that friends are like flowers.  They grow, they bloom and then some of them wither away over time.  Some friends are like Perennials.  They live for more than two years. They grow back each year as we renew them.  They may bloom for many seasons.  Over and over again.  Other friendships are more like Annuals.  Annuals have a much more limited life cycle.  Sometimes, they are over in less than a year.  They are beautiful when they last but somehow they are never destined for longevity.

Cowards die many times before their deaths:

A line from Shakespeare’s “Julius Caesar” that I have used my entire life to remind me that fear can be death.  Fear can stop us from trying new things, going to new places and enjoying life.  True, fear is a warning.  However, fear can also be paralyzing.  You have heard it said that some people are afraid of their shadows.  As we get older, life closes in on us.  Unless we can keep pushing back the boundaries, we will end up in a coffin long before it is our time.

Live for today.  Take one day at a time: 

So easy to say.  So hard to do.  All the great prophets in history have given paeans to the virtue of living one day at a time.  Jesus said “”Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”— Mathew, 6:34.  Buddha said, “Don’t get caught in the past, because the past is gone.  Do not get upset about the future, because the future is not yet here.  There is only one moment for you to be alive, and that is the present moment.” — Knowing the Better Way to Live Alone.  The Muslim preacher, Hasan al-Basri said, “The world is three days: Yesterday, with all that was in it, has gone.  Tomorrow, you may never see it.  As for today, it is yours, so work on it.”  There are many more admonitions to live in the moment.  Still, easier said than done.

I wake up making my lists each day.  I plan some of them one week, one month, and even years out.  Will those days ever come?  The older I get, the less likely it is that a ten-year plan will ever come to fruition.  It makes sense to live in the moment.  Except, what about the grasshopper and the ants?  They stored up grain for the future, while the grasshopper fiddled and danced.  Who starved?  A good friend of mine complains that it is not fair that state parks and other such venues do not operate on a first come first served basis.  Today, if you do not plan for the future, you may not get a campground.  Not planning for a future can mean even more dire prospects than not getting a campsite.  It might mean not having any retirement money.  It might mean not having any resources for health care and other necessities.  There must be a balance between living for today and planning for tomorrow.  Does anyone know a sure fire way to find that balance?  Here is what ChatGPT said in response to my query:

Balancing living for today and planning for tomorrow can be a delicate act, but it is achievable with mindful practices and habits.  Here are some strategies that can help:

Set Clear Goals: Define your long-term goals and break them down into smaller, manageable steps.  This helps you focus on the present while keeping an eye on the future.

Prioritize Your Time: Make a list of your daily activities and prioritize them based on importance and urgency.  This ensures you are spending time on what matters most, both for today and for your future.

Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing, can help you stay present and enjoy the moment without constantly worrying about the future.

Create a Balanced Schedule: Allocate specific times for work, relaxation, hobbies, and social activities.  This ensures that you are enjoying life now while also dedicating time to your future goals.

Financial Planning: Save and invest wisely to secure your future, but also set aside some money for leisure and experiences that bring you joy today.

Stay Flexible: Life is unpredictable, and plans may change.  Being adaptable allows you to enjoy the present while being prepared for future changes.

Reflect Regularly: Take time to reflect on your progress and adjust your plans as needed.  Regular reflection helps you stay aligned with your goals and make necessary changes.

Seek Balance in Health: Take care of your physical and mental health through regular exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient rest.  Good health enables you to enjoy the present and ensures longevity.

Enjoy Small Moments: Find joy in everyday moments and appreciate the present.  Whether it’s a walk in the park, a good meal, or time with loved ones, these moments are valuable.

Continuous Learning: Invest in your personal and professional growth by learning new skills and acquiring knowledge.  This not only prepares you for the future but also enriches your present life.

By integrating these practices, you can create a harmonious balance between living in the moment and planning for the future.

It took ChatGPT all of about one minute to come up with the above list.  Pretty amazing isn’t it.  I only wish I were as smart as she/he is.

Kindness is more important than knowledge:

This is a lesson that has taken me many years to learn.  “Chicken Soup for the Soul” was a pivotal event in my life.  The stories started me thinking more about kindness and less about acquiring a great deal of knowledge.  I once thought that knowledge was everything.  Knowledge was the path to virtue according to the Bible.  Knowledge was power according to Sir Thomas Hobbes.  Knowledge comes from a different place than kindness.  Knowledge is necessary to make a living, but kindness is necessary to make a life.  A human being must be more than just a collection of ideas and theories.  We must be able to show compassion and empathy for other human beings and other creatures.  Kindness will make more of a difference to the world than the Encyclopedia Britannica ever did.

We do not age like a fine wine, we age like bananas:

Whoever came up with the trope about aging and fine wine must never have grown old.  The older I get, the more wizened I get.  My wine is getting moldy.  My face is getting wrinkled.  Like an aging banana, I now am getting more and more black spots on my skin.  Nobody throws a fine old wine away, but in a few years, just like a rotten old banana, my carcass will be disposed of.  I am softer and mushy now.  I once was firm and hard.  Who likes a mushy old banana?

Don’t rely on Hope:

Hope may spring eternal in the human breast but hope never accomplished anything.  It takes effort to make a life.  It takes effort to go to work every day.  It takes effort to do anything worth being done.  You can hope your life away.  Hope is a seasoning for life.  You can season the meat, but you must then cook it.  Hope can help you to have faith that you can change the world, but hope is not enough to get the job done.  Patrick Henry spoke about “hugging the delusive phantom of hope.”

You can hope to win the lottery but unless you buy a lottery ticket, you have no chance of winning the jackpot.  Hope can be a motivator, but running the 100-meter dash of life takes moving your legs to get to the finish line.  Keep hope in perspective but don’t let hope become your whole life.

Life is about trying to make a difference:

We wake up each morning and what do we do?  We say a prayer maybe.  Maybe we have breakfast.  We take a shower.  We write a few lines.  We go to work.  What is the purpose of our life?  If it is not to make a difference in the world, I don’t know what it is for.  Is it simply to live another day?  Is it just to have fun? “God Forbid” to quote Patrick Henry again.  If the meaning of our lives is not to make a difference in the world, I don’t know what we exist for.

Sadly, we may never know if we make a difference.  We are not born with a difference gauge that tells us which of our efforts is the most effective.  Faith can make a difference here.  Mother Teresa was once challenged by a reporter who asked her, “How do you know you are making any difference with all your poverty and charity work?”  Mother Teresa replied, “I am not called upon to make a difference, I am called upon to have faith.”  Faith guides us down the path of hope but we must be propelled by a desire to see a better world if not for ourselves than for our children.

Progress is made by people, ideas, and technology:

There are many theories of human progress.  Karl Marx believed that materialism was the prime motivator and engine for change.  “The essential condition for the existence, and for the sway of the bourgeois class, is the formation and augmentation of capital; the condition for capital is wage-labor.” — The Communist Manifesto, Karl Marx.  Despite the fact that Marx has been refuted more times than I can count, his problem came not from his perspective, it came from his limitations of perspective.  He was not able to see the difference that ideas, people, and technology could and do make on the world.

The argument as to which drives progress is really a chicken and egg dilemma.  Or maybe it is more like a giant Mobius strip.  Great men come up with great ideas which create great technology which creates new material goods which lead to new leaders who have new ideas for more progress.  Around and around we go, but we always remain in one plane.  A Möbius strip is a one-sided surface with no boundaries that looks like an infinite loop.  Progress comes from going around and around and around.  All the elements of the universe help motivate us around this single plane.

Whatever can be done, can also be undone:

The pundits are telling us that if Trump gets reelected he will abandon and even destroy all the foundations for democracy that still exist in the USA.  His first attempt at doing so fell short but together with his minions, he will take another shot at it.  Americans are deluded into thinking that democracy is indestructible.

Democracy is a set of ideas which when put into action creates a system of government.  Sometimes this system works very well but often it is dysfunctional.  Democracy has no guarantee of success if people no longer believe in the set of ideas that defined their democracy.  There are only twenty or so true democracies in the world today out of over 180 different governments.  “The Economist Democracy Index rates countries on the state of their governing system each year.  In the latest published edition, corresponding to the year 2022, only 24 countries in the world have been rated as ‘full democracies’, representing 8% of the world’s population.” — The State of Democracy, April 2023

It is by no means inevitable that democracies will be created in the world or that they will be sustained.  History has shown us over and over again that great empires fall, and democracies may not survive.  Human beings seem to have an equal propensity to favor authoritarian governments as they do democratic governments.  Recent events in the USA cannot be denied.  America is full of people who do not believe in democracy and who would favor a tyrant and bully like Trump being elected for life.

Love surpasses everything:

If making a difference is the ultimate purpose of life than love is the ultimate meaning of life.  We often love not too well and not too wisely, but love is the soul of our existence.  Deprive humans of love and you deprive humans of the only thing that really matters in this world.  A lonely life is one that saddens all of us.  How many people live such lives?  What can we do to help others who are not loved or who cannot share love with others?  If we can stop manufacturing bombs and bullets to murder others, we might be able to work towards creating a world based on love.  We may have faith and we may have hope, but unless we mix the ingredients for love and share them with others, love will remain only a dream.

Next Reflection:    

6.  These are the Risks I took.

 

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