
I have a theory about life and about how we grow as individuals. I call this my theory of “Endless Horizons.” I developed this theory through experience and observation. I would like to share it with you this week. It has been a big inspiration in my life and provided a great deal of motivation for me in my journeys. It involves the ability to accept the unknown but with a difference that is important. Whereas many theories posit an “unknown and unknowable,” my theory says that what is unknown may just possibly be “over the next horizon.” Let me explain more.
Once upon a time, I believed that what we see, feel, taste and smell was all that there was. It did not get any better or worse than what I was already experiencing. I was usually a very angry guy. I was ready to physically fight at the drop of a hat or some perceived slur or insult. My temper and lack of anger management got me into a lot of trouble. I was arrested for assault and battery. I had more fights than I can remember.
“Those who improve with age embrace the power of personal growth and personal achievement and begin to replace youth with wisdom, innocence with understanding, and lack of purpose with self-actualization.” — Bo Bennett

Perhaps worse was the constant state of fear that it kept my first wife and daughter in. I never realized how hurtful my temper and lack of anger control was to them. From my throwing things, to yelling and punching walls, I was like a volcano that might explode at any moment. Even my sleep time was violent. I was constantly having nightmares of someone chasing me and trying to kill me. I would wake up drenched in sweat with my pulse racing a mile a minute.
My first wife and I divorced after sixteen years. My daughter who was fifteen at the time eventually cut off all contact with me. I have not seen or talked to her for over twenty years now.

“Building a better life for every child is a lot harder than becoming a world champion. Both goals take dedication and commitment.” — Kim Yuna
I knew I needed some help and I joined a treatment program for violent and abusive men. About ½ of the men were in treatment voluntarily and about ½ were court ordered. It was sponsored by the Wilder Center in St. Paul, Minnesota. I completed the program (which met weekly) for about 16 weeks. After that I continued with a support group for another two years or so. The support group also met weekly and was restricted to men who had finished the regular treatment program. I had a buddy (Jerry) whom I could call if my temper flared up. Jerry was part of my process or control plan for dealing with my anger issues rather than acting out. There was more to the plan that included walks and other means of cooling off.
I do not know whether my marriage would have been saved if I had gone through this program earlier. I do know my wife would have been a lot happier and my daughter would probably still be speaking to me. Another thing I know is that my nightmares went away.
Getting back to my “Endless Horizon Theory,” I first observed it in the anger support groups that I went to weekly. Before coming to these groups, most “angry” men were in denial. It was always, “they or she made me do it.” “It was not my fault.” The horizon of most men in terms of their awareness of themselves was very short. After they went to treatment, they made it to a new horizon of sorts. From this new horizon, many men could now understand that it was their fault not the fault of others around them. If they chose to, they did not have to go through life angry, violent and abusive. Standing at the horizon of having accepted their responsibility for their anger, they could see a new horizon. This horizon was one of equanimity and if not happiness, at least not misery. The support groups offered a way to get to this next horizon. As they say, “Rome was not built in a day.” Well, dealing with anger problems involves a trip of years. It would not be an easy journey for many of these men.
I stayed in the group for nearly two years. Many of the men I met during these two years were also long-timers. Our support group seemed to grow together as friends and comrades along the journey. I think many of us made it to the next horizon. When I arrived there, I saw another horizon just beyond the one I had reached. We had all assumed that the best we could get would be a life without being constantly angry and explosive. When I came to this new horizon, I began to understand that there was more that I could accomplish. The next horizon promised happiness and a positive outlook to life. Many of us had gone from a negative outlook on life to a neutral outlook and now saw a horizon that promised a positive outlook.
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” — Joseph Campbell
Unfortunately, the Wilder Center did not see that as the role of these support groups. They saw their mission as helping to curb domestic abuse. They did not see their mission as helping men grow and develop beyond their ability to control their anger issues. With the lack of support and even hostility towards our new goal, many of the long-termers in my group simply quit and went away. I kept in touch with a few men, but the years have melted these relationships away.
“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But, nothing is as painful as staying stuck where you do not belong.” — N. R. Narayana Murthy
I realized that when I reached one horizon, I could now see beyond it to a new horizon. It was clear to me that there was possibly an infinite number of new horizons. If one has the tenacity, discipline and determination, there is no end to the development that we potentially can reach. Another experience gave me more proof for my theory of “Endless Horizons.”

My second wife Karen and I have both been to two Marriage Encounter weekends. We went to our first Marriage Encounter weekend about five years into our marriage. The second weekend was about ten years after the first. Both weekends had very positive impacts on our marriage, friendship and lives. My horizon theory was further strengthened by events that happened at both weekends. I will relate the events at the first weekend.
I was long past worrying about anger issues by the time of our first Marriage Encounter weekend. I had been trying to be more tolerant of Karen and some of the things that she did that annoyed me. I had reached what I will call a Horizon of Tolerance. I thought I was doing pretty good when I could practice tolerance. When I could not, I would be sarcastic, rude and frustrated. We went to the first weekend as a means of improving our marriage. I will forever be grateful to the organizations and volunteers that put these weekends on. We have found that both these weekends helped us to be better lovers, parents and friends.
Well, during the first weekend, we were having some discussion about the issue of tolerance. I was pretty pumped up because I thought I was doing pretty good with dealing with this issue. I made the remark that I thought I was very tolerant. The response I received caught me by surprise. It was something to the effect that tolerance falls short of respecting the other person. The speaker explained that tolerance simply accepts what is. Respect on the other hand sees the benefits and appreciates the value of what is. There is a significant difference between respect and tolerance. For instance, we can tolerate minorities or people who are different than we are but that is not the same as respecting them.
I was confronted with a new horizon for my relationship with Karen and our marriage. Again, I realized that this new horizon further supported my “Endless Horizon” theory of growth and development. I had finally accepted (and thus my theory was born) that there is an endless number of horizons. Each horizon presents a new possibility for growth. We cannot see beyond our present horizon, but we can be sure that something new will await us once we reach it.
“Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle.” — Napoleon Hill

What does it take to reach a horizon? I said earlier that you must have determination. It helps to have support and coaching along the way. As the song says, “I get by with a little help from my friends.” It also takes commitment to keep trying. There are lots of potholes along the way. There are dead-ends. There are large crevasses, boulders and obstacles to overcome. There are no straight flat highways to the next horizon. It is not a straight-line journey. There are times when you will get lost and times when you will go backwards. But the journey is not to the fittest but to the ones who are most determined.
Time for Questions:
What horizon are you at in your life? What new horizons have you found in your life’s journey? What obstacles have you had to overcome? Have you given up on finding new horizons or are you still searching for new horizons? Why or why not?
Life is just beginning.
“The journey is never ending. There’s always gonna be growth, improvement, adversity; you just gotta take it all in and do what’s right, continue to grow, continue to live in the moment.” — Antonio Brown
Once upon a time I had more friends on Facebook. I had both Democratic friends, Republican Friends and friends who cared not one whit about politics. Many of all political persuasions were friends who simply wanted to ignore politics. During the run-up to Trump’s election, I discussed, debated, argued, reasoned and fought with many friends who wanted to support Trump. The results were not pretty. Zero changed their minds. I was angry and frustrated.









My first real hero was Ming the Merciless. He had all the primary characteristics of an evil genius. He was a megalomaniac who wanted to rule the world. He was always smarter than Flash Gordon. He had dozens of minions who followed his every order. He obeyed no rules except his own. And finally, he lusted after Dale Arden who was a pretty hot babe for the time. Dale had wonderful blond curls, a great figure and was into bare midriff before it became popular in the 90’s. Flash was a wimp when it came to Dale but Ming the Merciless knew what he wanted and really went after it. I suppose tying women up today would not be proper but if you are an evil genius it is simply part of the expectations.
My second Hero was Dr. Fu Manchu. A character created by the writer Sax Rohmer. Fu was as evil as they came. He was a brilliant megalomaniac. He obeyed no rules or laws except his own. He was alleged to hold doctorates from four Western universities. Unlike the wimpy college professors who one associates with a Ph.D. degree, there was nothing wimpy about Dr. Fu Manchu. He would not hesitate to murder anyone who got in his way. In the 1932 film, The Mask of Fu Manchu, Fu tells an assembled group of his minions that they must “kill the white men and take their women.” Evil geniuses have a knack for thinking big and ignoring the normal bonds of propriety and civility.
As is usual with evil geniuses, Moriarty was always one step ahead of Sherlock. Perhaps because it was still the Victorian age, Moriarty did not have much to do with lusting after women. There was no kidnapping, tying women up or forced kissing in any of the Moriarty tales. However, Sherlock was not much better in the womanizing category and seemed to be a confirmed bachelor. His main relationship with a woman was with his housekeeper Mrs. Hudson which always stayed platonic.
Von Doom. You must love someone with a name like that. Dr. Doom was evil and ruthless and a certified genius. He had many gadgets and inventions that enabled him to defeat an entire pantheon of superheroes. When it came to bad, he took a back seat to no one. Imagine, someone who would let his childhood sweetheart be savagely sacrificed so that he could gain the power to rule the world. Yes, like most other evil geniuses, Dr. Doom was also a megalomaniac who wanted to rule the world.
I have not had time to describe all the evil geniuses whom I have loved and admired. I have given you only a few of the ones who have punctuated my life. I do not have the space to do justice (sic) to some of my other heroes such as Lex Luther, the Kingpin, The Joker, Green Goblin and of course Sauron. By the way, recently we had a female megalomaniac out to destroy the world. It was quite refreshing to see how Hela kicked Thor’s butt from one end of Asgard to the other. But to bring you up to the present, I have now found perhaps the most evil genius in history. He has all the truly great characteristics of evilness. He is also a genius.




publish their lists of the most beautiful people in the world. Beautiful people marry other beautiful people and are constantly in the news. The Kardashians would seem to have few talents except their almost incredible beauty. Rich men marry beautiful women. Beautiful actresses marry NFL football players. Beautiful heiresses marry rock stars while beautiful rock stars marry record producers.

I once asked my MBA students whether they would rather be smart or beautiful. They almost unanimously selected beautiful. I was very surprised but the more I have observed about life, the more it would seem that beauty will get you further than brains. Brains can get you some things but being nerdy is not one of the things that most people aspire to. Anti-intellectualism is a fact of American life as noted by Richard Hofstadter in his famous book: “Anti-intellectualism in American Life, 1963.”
As we both have aged, the process of deterioration taking place in our bodies is clear in the more wrinkled, wizened and paunchy body shapes we now exhibit. While neither of us was ever beautiful by societies standards, we never had any chance of making any top ten beautiful lists before and certainly not today. Nevertheless, when I see my spouse in her pajamas or in the shower or when she cuddles up in bed with me, I can’t help but think how beautiful she is and how much I love her. While I still see the shades of societies standards of beauty in the many young models punctuating my daily life, the beauty I see in my wife is something I cannot describe. It is a beauty that comes from who she is and not how she looks. I only know she is more beautiful to me today than she was 35 years ago when we first started dating.
You can claim as you grow older that you either have regrets or you have no regrets. I have had at least one friend who on his deathbed made the claim that he had no regrets. I admired his attitude very much. I wanted to emulate this attitude as I grew older, but try as I might it has escaped me. I can tell you I have no regrets, but it would be a big lie. I have enough regrets to write a book about. One of my regrets is that I am shorter than my father was. He was six feet four inches
tall and I barely make five feet eight inches. Mostly though, I wonder what it would have been like to have been born handsome. To have had the looks of Paul Newman, Sean Connery, Brad Pitt or Robert Redford. Would I have used my looks to achieve fame and fortune or would I have simply squandered it away on wine, women and song? How much different would my life have been if I had been a “beautiful” person?
I understand and fully believe that like ingratitude, (Please read my blog on

As Americans, we pride ourselves on being the exact opposite of Communists. In America, we have a democracy. To live in a democracy, means that you are “free” to think for yourself. No one living in a democracy can possibly be brainwashed. In America, “the land of the free and the home of the brave” you will only find people who believe in the truth. The truth is that democracy is the holy grail of political systems. It supports everything that is good about life. In a democracy, all men and women are created equal. In a democracy, everyone can succeed if they only have the right desire. Americans will fight and die for this dream.




UNITED STATES

John: I prefer voluptuous.
Alexa: Mary has some questions for you John.
John: Alexa!
John: Alexa! Where is the best place to get a pizza in Casa Grande for Saturday night?











There have been many theories proposed for the policies held by Trump and his Republican supporters. They include “Greed Theory.” The Republicans are held to be greedier than most people and only want to accumulate as much money as they can. Another is “Hate Theory.” This theory holds that since most Republicans are White European in ancestry, they loath and detest any people who are different then they are. This includes Asians, Blacks, Indians, Latinos and any immigrants not from Europe.

About a week later, I was substitute teaching in a Casa Grande High School. I drew an eleventh-grade social studies class. The teacher had left an assignment wherein the students had to find certain terms and concepts associated with the second industrial revolution and write definitions for each of them. Included among such terms as: robber barons, corporations, patents and trusts was the term “Social Darwinism.” One of the students asked me to explain it beyond the simple definition she found on line. I tried to recall my ideas relating to this concept from many years ago. I gave her my explanation and then later I looked up the definition at Wikipedia. I was struck at how well my memory had served me. It was at that point that the proverbial light bulb or blinding light of inspiration hit me. I suddenly realized that the Republican Party was not just trying to create elite systems but they were also trying to build on the theories of Herbert Spencer. The following excerpt explains this theory very well as it applies to many current concepts such as: trickle down theory, privatization, corporate welfare and tax reform.
So, there you have it. Trump and the Republican Party are not greedy, hateful or fearful of others, they simply do not believe that you have a right to anything unless you are also rich and successful and White like they are. Based on the concepts of Social Darwinism, they have the right to whatever you have if they can find a way to take it away from you. If you cannot keep it, that means you are inferior. If you are inferior, you have no right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. According to Social Darwinism, the elite will eventually Trump the poor because they are stronger, smarter and more fit. This will eventually result in a society wherein everyone is fit, and everyone is trying to screw everyone else.