Many years ago, I traveled down a wooded path that I had never been on before. This story is about how that journey led me to the life that I am living today.
I was eighteen years old. I had recently graduated from high school. No awards, no summa anything and no college that would take me even if I had applied. I always loved to meander in the woods and thoughts of heaven or hell were not intruding on me this bright sunny warm day in June. As I trod a path that did not look very worn, I suddenly noticed a fork in the trail. I could just make out somebody sitting between the two roads. As I drew closer, it was apparent but none the less quite surprising to see that it was an old woman sitting on a log.
“Good afternoon,” I said to the old woman. “Same to you, young man,” she replied. “I have not been on this road before; can you tell me which fork goes where?” “Well,” she answered, “The right fork is the Farewell to Life fork and the left fork is the Farewell to Death fork.” Thinking the woman was a little batty, I gave her my thanks, wished her a good day, and proceeded to take the right fork.
I thought a little about her response as I continued on my journey. I wondered if it really meant anything. Would one fork bring death and the other life? I laughed as I assumed that it probably would not matter since I had chosen the life fork. I was planning to be among the living when I reached its end and not among the dead. I looked back and the crazy woman was nowhere in sight.
More than fifty-five years have passed since I met the old lady. I have walked many roads, paddled many rivers, visited many lands, and wondered about the meaning and purpose of life innumerable times. During my seventy-five years on this earth, I have said dozens of farewells to life. All of them to date were farewells to the lives of people who were my friends and relatives and mentors. My father died at 60. My mother died at 67. My sister died at 56 and my cousin and best friend died at 47. Farewell is one of the saddest words in my vocabulary. As I have aged, the number of farewells that I have had to say each year seems to be growing exponentially.
A few weeks ago, I was on a solo hike in the Chequamegon National Forest about thirty miles north of Thorp, Wisconsin where my first wife was from. I was on the Jerry Lake Segment of the Ice Age National Scenic Trail which goes through the Chequamegon National Forest. I was intending on hiking down the trail to Jerry Lake and back.
Now I have never been known for my sense of direction. My first wife and I always fought over which way to head but my masculine pride would never admit that she was usually right. Marrying a second time, I finally found someone whose sense of direction is even worse than mine. Both Karen and I are lost without a GPS or compass. The good thing is that I now readily admit that I could get lost in my small back yard. My masculine pride no longer prohibits me from shouting out “I’m lost.”
As I proceeded down the trail, it seemed that I was not getting any nearer to my intended destination. It should have taken me about an hour to get to the lake and I had now been hiking for about two hours. Two thoughts struck me at the same time. The first was that I was lost. The second was that I was approaching a fork in the trail ahead and something or someone was sitting between the two paths. As I neared the fork, I rubbed my eyes just in case I was seeing things. There on the trail ahead was an old woman who looked suspiciously like the old woman whom I had met fifty-five years before. Of course, I thought, it could not be. She would have to be well over a hundred years old.
The strangeness of the situation caused me to be somewhat nervous about proceeding further but I thought, I have nothing to fear from an old lady. Coming nearer to the woman, I jokingly asked if she was the same old woman whom I had met years ago and if she remembered me. “Yes”, she said, “but you were much younger then. How did your journey down the Farewell to Life trail go?” How could this be I thought? I don’t believe in magic, miracles, or spirits but suddenly, I began to take her words quite seriously.
“I am not so sure that I took the right trail. Over the years, I have had to say many farewells to people whom I loved and who passed away long before they should have. Life does not seem very fair to me.” “Life is never fair,” she replied. “Humans weigh things as though some type of cosmic scale existed, and that life could be apportioned perfectly equitably. You have had a long life. It has been very successful. You have had more than your share of fame and fortune.”
“I am very confused. I chose the Farewell to Life path but what would have happened if I had chosen the Farewell to Death path? Would I live forever?” She looked at me very gravely and said “I don’t think you really understand. The Farewell to Life path is a path where you say farewell to the lives of others. You yourself then went on to have a long if not happy or prosperous life, did you not?”
“Yes,” I said, “But what would my life have been like if I had chosen the “Farewell to Death path?” “You would never have had to say farewell to any friends or anyone you cared about. You would have gone to no funerals, burials, or memorials. No farewells to the deaths of friends and families. You would have died many years before those you loved. Do you think this would have made you happier? A short life that would have had little tragedy or reason to mourn would have been your legacy.”
“I do not think that would have made me happier. Why can’t there be a third path in life? Why are we doomed to either a long life with much unhappiness or a short life where we never experience the joys of getting older and wiser?”
The old woman slowly stood up. She picked up a hiking stick and proceeded to walk off into the distance. Before she left, she turned and looked into my eyes. Very solemnly she explained, “I told you that life is never fair. Humans always want what cannot be. Farewell.”
Let life be beautiful like summer flowers and death like autumn leaves. — Rabindranath Tagore
Now suddenly your partner for one reason or another is gone. She or he passes away. You come back to your home after the funeral and well-wishers have left, and you are now alone. You are more alone than you have ever been in your entire life. You go from room to room and no one else is there. The bedroom is empty. The kitchen is empty. The living room is empty. You notice the picture of you and your spouse at your anniversary party hanging on the wall. It brings back memories and tears. Every day for many days, objects, thoughts, and reflections will bring back good times and bad times that you shared with your lover. You will reflect over and over again about these past times. No doubt you will feel remorse about some things that you did and wish you could undo. You will also miss the fun things that you enjoyed together and the many good times that you had together.
Each evening after dinner, we enjoy food, dancing, and music at the Playa Bonita restaurant. It is right on the beach and while enjoying shrimp cocktails, we watch the most beautiful sunsets I have seen anywhere. As night falls, a band or singer will begin entertaining our group. Evalia loves to dance and will make sure that we all have a spin with her on the dance floor. The dance floor is outside where we eat. Almost always the weather is balmy and comfortable. Infrequently one might need a shawl or a sweater but an active time on the dance floor will mitigate any night chills.
brought sorrow to my heart over the years. Life does not always end happily. Lives do not always find the justice and honor they merit. I have felt sorry for the heroes and heroines who did not get the fates they deserved. If only I could somehow right all the wrongs and set history on the paths it should have taken. I find books tell me about my shortcomings and highlight areas where I need improvement. It is always sorrowful to find that I am not as good as I would like to be.
Now less this sound too much like a soap opera, I should point out some of the character flaws that are obvious with Dick. He once had a battle with some beavers that resided on his property. These beavers were adept at building a dam using a stream that flowed near a road leading to Dick’s house. The dam would cause the water to back up flooding the road. Dick would go out there and break up the dam but faster than you could say “Dick the Stick” the beavers would rebuild the dam. I asked Dick why he did not shoot the suckers. Dick replied that he promised Gladys that he would not kill them but try to get them to relocate. So periodically Dick would come in with his back aching from breaking up the dam and I would say “Give me your rifle and I will shoot the suckers for you.” Dick would never do this. I finally bought him a t-shirt with “Beaver Advice” on it.
I mentioned that Dick does not want to travel anywhere (Except maybe Duluth). I would attribute his “been there, done it” to a possible birth or brain defect but to be fair Dick did go to England, Peru and a bunch of other countries when he was younger. Furthermore, unlike some people, he is always interested in hearing about the travels of Gladys and others in the group. I am going to Russia this coming year and I keep telling him that I am going to have an audience with President Putin. Dick often jokes about Putin and his strong political resolve. I may bring him a Putin t-shirt when I come back from Moscow, assuming that I am allowed to leave the country.
My first real hero was Ming the Merciless. He had all the primary characteristics of an evil genius. He was a megalomaniac who wanted to rule the world. He was always smarter than Flash Gordon. He had dozens of minions who followed his every order. He obeyed no rules except his own. And finally, he lusted after Dale Arden who was a pretty hot babe for the time. Dale had wonderful blond curls, a great figure and was into bare midriff before it became popular in the 90’s. Flash was a wimp when it came to Dale but Ming the Merciless knew what he wanted and really went after it. I suppose tying women up today would not be proper but if you are an evil genius it is simply part of the expectations.
My second Hero was Dr. Fu Manchu. A character created by the writer Sax Rohmer. Fu was as evil as they came. He was a brilliant megalomaniac. He obeyed no rules or laws except his own. He was alleged to hold doctorates from four Western universities. Unlike the wimpy college professors who one associates with a Ph.D. degree, there was nothing wimpy about Dr. Fu Manchu. He would not hesitate to murder anyone who got in his way. In the 1932 film, The Mask of Fu Manchu, Fu tells an assembled group of his minions that they must “kill the white men and take their women.” Evil geniuses have a knack for thinking big and ignoring the normal bonds of propriety and civility.
As is usual with evil geniuses, Moriarty was always one step ahead of Sherlock. Perhaps because it was still the Victorian age, Moriarty did not have much to do with lusting after women. There was no kidnapping, tying women up or forced kissing in any of the Moriarty tales. However, Sherlock was not much better in the womanizing category and seemed to be a confirmed bachelor. His main relationship with a woman was with his housekeeper Mrs. Hudson which always stayed platonic.
Von Doom. You must love someone with a name like that. Dr. Doom was evil and ruthless and a certified genius. He had many gadgets and inventions that enabled him to defeat an entire pantheon of superheroes. When it came to bad, he took a back seat to no one. Imagine, someone who would let his childhood sweetheart be savagely sacrificed so that he could gain the power to rule the world. Yes, like most other evil geniuses, Dr. Doom was also a megalomaniac who wanted to rule the world.
I have not had time to describe all the evil geniuses whom I have loved and admired. I have given you only a few of the ones who have punctuated my life. I do not have the space to do justice (sic) to some of my other heroes such as Lex Luther, the Kingpin, The Joker, Green Goblin and of course Sauron. By the way, recently we had a female megalomaniac out to destroy the world. It was quite refreshing to see how Hela kicked Thor’s butt from one end of Asgard to the other. But to bring you up to the present, I have now found perhaps the most evil genius in history. He has all the truly great characteristics of evilness. He is also a genius.
Emily and Robert had been married for nearly 65 years. They were both in their early twenties when they met in college. It was love at first sight. Their parents wanted them to wait to finish college but after a brief whirlwind romance, they simply eloped. They surprised everyone when they came back to school and finished their college degrees. Robert became an engineer and Emily was a school teacher for many years. The careers they chose suited their personalities. They were known as hard faithful workers. Not once in over forty years did any employer ever have a complaint or problem with either Robert or Emily. After forty-five years, they both chose to retire so they could spend more time together after Robert’s first stroke.
were loved by all their foster children who often returned home to visit or to simply stop by with a bit of news or something to eat. Robert and Emily could not have loved any children of their own more than they loved their foster children.
Emily finished brushing her teeth and then took her nightly pills. She shut off the bathroom light and started out to the bedroom. The light by Robert’s side of the bed was on and Emily started to say something to Robert when abruptly she stopped. Her eyes fell upon an empty bed that was undisturbed. The sheets and bed covers had not been moved. Emily was surprised and shocked. Where was 
Robert? Suddenly, Emily remembered. Robert had died the previous week and had been buried two days before on Saturday. Tears came to her eyes. What would she do without her Robert? She was all alone now. No one to go to bed with. No one to talk to at night. No one who would regularly listen to her complaints and problems about the world.
