Emotional Kindness or Physical Kindness: Which One Are You Good At?

24 Jul 2023 6 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , ,

7ef1f4465fc7c806e43d414371a3ade6-450x330-center-top.jpg.optimal

One of my favorite quotes is “What knowledge is there that is greater than kindness.”  When I first heard this thought, it literally rocked my universe.  I was brought up to believe that knowledge was the greatest treasure of all.  Knowledge was power.  Knowledge could make you a King or Queen or President.  Knowledge was everything.  Knowledge fed IQ and people with higher IQ’s were more successful than people with lower IQ’s.  Books were the source of knowledge.  Books were like Campbell Soup.  Knowledge condensed into a compact form.  All I had to do was open a book, read, and get knowledge that would make me smart and powerful.

download

I completed my Ph.D.  I was the first one in my family to go to college let alone get a Ph.D.  After finishing my Ph.D. dissertation, I took the Mensa test and joined the organization.  I thought I had just about reached as high as possible in self-development.  I had two certificates to show how smart I was.  Then I heard about Emotional Intelligence (called EQ by Daniel Goldstein who pioneered the concept).  EQ surprised me because truth be told, I thought there was something still missing in in my life.  I had an IQ of 137 but my EQ was more like zero.  I did not have much compassion or sympathy for lazy people, stupid people, dishonest people and loads of people who did not live up to my expectations.  I decided that I needed to work on my EQ and downplay the role of IQ in my life.

I realized that as another famous quote goes “Knowledge helps you to make a living, but wisdom helps you to make a life.”  Wisdom is a combination of EQ and IQ and of course experience in living.  This is why Native Americans value the elders in their societies.  The elderly should have (but sadly often do not today) the experience and wisdom that can help guide the young.  I wanted to seek out more things that would help me to learn compassion and wisdom.  Over the years, my forty retreats, various support groups and readings have helped me to gain a better understanding of the need for EQ.  I thought I was doing well until just recently.

Thumbnail-Primary_Logo_RGB_English

Karen and I have had our quarrels and disagreements over the years.  They have become less frequent after three weekends at Marriage Encounters, numerous trips to a marriage counselor, and more “family meetings” than I can count.  We have now been married over 34 years and most of it very happy despite some rough spots.  I will honestly and humbly admit though that without some counseling and the three marriage encounter weekends we attended that we might not still be together.

funny-marriage-memes-233-5bbf13bd64cd6__700Nevertheless, we still have the occasional spat, and they usually leave us both feeling quite depressed and disappointed.  I am mostly disappointed with myself for not handing things well.  It seems I too often say things or discuss things very differently than we have agreed on.  We have found and used many models for dealing with conflict.  One of our favorites is the “DESC” model.  This stands for “Describe” what is happening in neutral terms.  Talk about how this makes you feel in terms of “Emotions.”  “Specify” what you would like to see happen differently.  Define what the “Consequences” will or could be for change.  Consequences are best provided that are positive, such as we will feel closer together.  When we stick to this model things seem to go well.  Our discussions stay on track and our resolutions come more effortlessly.  When we stray from the model, accusations and insinuations escalate and the discussion becomes difficult if not painful.

After one of our arguments the other day, I had a sudden insight that was the inspiration for this blog.  I have noticed that I try to do a lot of things for Karen.  I help her take her instruments to her music sessions.  I do a lot of the shopping.  I do dishes and laundry.  I help her in and out of the car.  I sometimes wonder how she could not feel totally loved.  She in turn does a lot of things for me but somehow, I often feel unloved.  Out of the blue, I realized that we both try to show our love by doing “things” for each other.  However, when it comes to emotional displays that show love, it seems harder for each of us.

My insight was that there are two kinds of kindness.  One I will call “Physical Kindness.”  Doing things that are physical and overt for another.  Taking the garbage out.  Cooking or baking the things that your partner loves.  Running errands for each other.  Giving nice gifts.  These are all examples of what I would call “Physical Kindness.”  I think I am very good at these things as is my spouse.

download (1)The other kind of kindness I will call “Emotional Kindness.”  This is not doing things but saying things either verbal or non-verbal that honor and appreciate the other person.  It respects their feelings more than their actions.  It might be “I love you” or it might be an appreciation of something the other person says or thinks.  It is building up the other person’s self-esteem and not putting down anything they might express or care about.

Upon more reflection, I could see that there are many times when I am not “Emotionally Kind.”  I ignore or miss opportunities for empathy and emotional support.  Telling someone that “When the going gets tough the tough get going” or “There is no try, there is only do or do not” are examples of my previous “emotional support.”  I should not have been surprised that Karen was never smitten by these suggestions.  Perhaps I should retire these two maxims from my lexicon.  I know I need to learn more varieties of Emotional Kindness.

7000433-Deborah-Blum-Quote-We-think-of-kindness-as-an-emotional-quality

The lesson I have learned, and I hope that this blog somewhat illustrates is that kindness can take many forms.  I have talked about two that are salient to me now.  There is a good book worth reading called the “Five Love Languages.”  It is written by Gary Chapman.  This book teaches that there are several ways to transmit your feelings of love to others.  Just as different people have different preferences for how they learn, the same is true for love and kindness.  You must learn what the recipient of your intended love or kindness resonates with.  It is like finding the right channel on a radio.  You must dial it in correctly or you can not connect.

Unfucking Believable !!!!

21 Jul 2023 7 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , ,

download

New Florida standards teach students that some Black people benefited from slavery because it taught useful skills — ABC News

 

Florida history lesson: Slavery as an unpaid internship? Tampa Bay Times

 

The standards, which were blasted by a statewide teachers’ union as a “step backward,” were approved Wednesday by the State Board of Education.

 

How could anyone calling themselves an educator have approved a piece of crap like these new history standards?  There should be a special place in Hell for anyone with so little professional integrity than they would cave in on principles and truths to support DeSantis’s racist agenda.  

enslave-02

 

The following information puts a lie to the idea that slaves felt any benefit from the South’s “Peculiar Institution.”  Only racists, liars and idiots believe or try to sell the idea that slaves wanted to exist in such an institution.  The following information points out how totally idiotic is the propositions advanced by supporters of Florida’s new history standards.  

“Numerous slave rebellions and insurrections took place in North America during the 17th, 18th, and 19th centuries. There is documentary evidence of more than 250 uprisings or attempted uprisings involving ten or more slaves. One of the first was at San Miguel de Gualdape, the first European settlement in what would become the United States. Three of the best known in the United States during the 19th century are the revolts by Gabriel Prosser in Virginia in 1800, Denmark Vesey in Charleston, South Carolina in 1822, and Nat Turner’s Slave Rebellion in Southampton County, Virginia, in 1831.

Drapetomania was a supposed mental illness invented by American physician Samuel A. Cartwright in 1851 that allegedly caused black slaves to run away. Today, drapetomania is considered an example of pseudoscience, and part of the edifice of scientific racism.

Slave resistance in the antebellum South did not gain the attention of academic historians until the 1940s, when historian Herbert Aptheker started publishing the first serious scholarly work [27] on the subject. Aptheker stressed how rebellions were rooted in the exploitative conditions of the Southern slave system. He traversed libraries and archives throughout the South, managing to uncover roughly 250 similar instances.” — Wikipedia

Maybe we should start an internship program for White students where we beat and whip them.  Keep them locked up in chains.  Rape their wives and lovers.  Send their children away.  Starve them when they don’t study or work hard enough.  We can see how much this “motivation” helps them to learn “useful” life skills. 

The Story of the Prodigal Daughter

19 Jul 2023 9 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , ,

imagesOnce upon a time a mother had two daughters.  The Mom’s name was Teresa.  The oldest daughter was named Romela, and the younger daughter was Amelia.  At the time of this story, the oldest daughter was 20.  Amelia had just turned 18.  Teresa was 45 and a single mom.  Their father had been gone for ten years after running off with their babysitter.  Teresa never remarried or even dated.  She was a rather plain looking woman.  Marriage had taught her that men preferred sex appeal over brains, beauty over character and youth over age.  She tried to teach these lessons to her daughters and kept a close watch on both.

Things were not easy for Teresa.  She did not have much education and lacked any formal training that would provide a higher income.  After her husband left, she had to go to work immediately, and she took a job as a nurse’s aide.  The hours were long, the work was hard, and the pay was low.  Teresa did all she could to put clothes and food on the table for her two girls.  They were the most important part of her life, and she did not mind the toil and labor as long as her children were happy and well provided for.  Someday, when the girls had left Teresa hoped to go to school and become a lawyer.

Romela took her mother’s advice.  She did not date much in high school or even after high school.  Romela wanted to go to college to become a physician’s assistant.  She had loved biology in high school and liked helping people.  She was living with her mother and younger sister until she had the funds to go to school.  Her life was spent working full time days at Walmart.  Nights she waitressed at a local restaurant called The Joint.  She put some money aside for college and the rest she gave to her mom to help pay the bills.  Dating did not enter her mind.

Amelia was another story.  Despite her mother’s constant haranguing and reprimands, she disregarded her schoolwork and studies.  She spent more time running around with boys and gave not one care about her future.  Teresa asked her repeatedly what she planned to do when she left high school and Amelia’s usual reply was “Can’t you get off my back and leave me alone.”  Teresa would respond “I care about you and want you to live a better life than I have lived.”  “Don’t worry, I will” was Amelia’s answer.

One day Teresa came home from work and went into her bedroom to get some money.  She kept a supply of cash in her dresser for shopping and groceries.  The money was not a large sum, only a few hundred dollars.  It was not really hidden as much as it was just stuffed into a small drawer.  Both daughters knew where their mom kept the money.  Teresa opened the drawer, and all the money was gone.  At first Teresa wondered if she had already spent the money.  She thought the problem over and realized she had not. She looked elsewhere in the house and did not find it.  She decided to wait until the kids came home and ask them if they had taken it or knew what had happened to it.

It was past 5 pm when Romela came home.  Teresa gave her a hug when she had taken her coat off.  Romela was in a hurry because she needed to get to her second job.  Teresa told her about the missing money and asked if by chance, Romela had needed the money for some emergency or other reason.  Romela was very surprised but replied that she did not take the money and would never take a penny without asking her mom first. Romela then changed clothes and went out the door to her waitress job.

It was now past 6 PM and Amelia had not come home from school.  Teresa was very worried and called the school.  The principle’s assistant answered and said that Amelia had not been detained for any reason and as far as they knew she had gotten on the bus to go home.  Teresa then called Amelia’s best friend Tina.  Tina answered her phone and seemed somewhat evasive.  “NO!  I have not seen Amelia all day and I do not know where she is.”  Teresa spent the next few hours calling everyone she knew but no one could give her any information as to Amelia’s whereabouts.  Finally, in desperation, Teresa called the police department.

The sergeant at the police information desk took all the data about Amelia from her mom, height, weight, and age.  He also asked Teresa to send a picture by email of Amelia.  He said that protocol dictated the police could not begin a search for 24 hours.  He understood her worry but it was not uncommon for teenagers to skip out for a while.  He noted that if Amelia was not back by the morning Teresa should call and they would start a formal search.  When Romela came home from work Teresa gave her the third degree, but Romela was also clueless.  She and Amelia did not really talk much and as sisters go were not close.

Teresa spent a sleepless night.  By morning she was not able to concentrate and decided to call in sick to her employer.  She paced the house until noon hoping for Amelia to walk in the front door.  Finally, she called the police back.  They asked a few more questions and said that they would investigate her daughter’s disappearance.

It was several hours later when a detective from the police department arrived at Teresa’s house.  Teresa greeted him at the door, and he said that he would like to come in and talk to her about Amelia.   “No, he did not know where Amelia was” but he could give Teresa some information about her seeming disappearance.  The police had questioned each of Amelia’s closest friends including Tina.  Tina was very nervous, and it made the police very suspicious.  They brought Tina down to the police station where she gave them the following story.

Amelia had a real crush on an older guy named Pat that she regularly hung with.  Amelia and Pat decided to take off together.  However, they did not have any money.  When Amelia told Pat about her mom’s stash, he suggested that it would be just what they would need to buy some drugs and leave the state for a better place like Florida or Arizona.  Together they had taken the money and left town.

The detective said that because Amelia was no longer a minor, they were limited in what they could do.  However, they would put out an “All-Points Bulletin” (APB) for her and put her on the missing persons list.  They would keep Teresa informed of any updates in the investigation and hoped to find Amelia as soon as possible.

Teresa was devastated.  She was heartbroken.  She did not care about the money.  She only wanted to know that Amelia was safe.

Days, weeks, months and finally years went by with no information or contacts from Amelia.  Romela moved on with her life.  She saved up enough money to go to college.  She did well in school and went on to become a physician’s assistant.  She moved out of her mom’s house, met a young doctor, and got married.  They bought a modest home and now had three children.

Teresa never went back to school to become a lawyer.  All she could ever think about day and night was her daughter Amelia.  Was she ok?  Was she happy?  Why did she never call?  Was she that rotten a mom?  Where had she gone wrong?  Would Amelia ever come back?  She called the police department at least every week to see if they had any more information.  They were patient and kind but very sorry as they had no further knowledge regarding Amelia’s where about.  They did have some information about the guy Amelia left with.  A few years after they had left, Pat had been participating in a home burglary in Arizona.  The homeowner had shot him during the burglary.  Pat never regained consciousness and died on the way to the hospital.  Nothing else was known concerning where or who Pat had been living with.

Twenty years went by.  Teresa had recently retired from her job at a local hospital.  She loved spending time with her daughter’s family and was a wonderful grandmother.  She put truth to all the memes and tropes about grandparents spoiling their grandchildren.  They all loved her very much.  Of course, they had all heard the story from their mom Romela about their worthless Aunt Amelia.  A woman they had never met but had no desire to meet.  They never brought up the story of her disappearance with their grandmother. They could sense the sadness and underlying pain that she still had concerning this daughter.  It was hard for them to understand how anyone could have done such a thing to a kind and generous person like their grandmother.  They would love to give this person a piece of their mind.

Ten more years went by.  Teresa was no hypochondriac but concerning her health the years had not been kind.  She was getting more and more arthritic.  She had undergone surgery for breast cancer.  A minor stroke had caused some paralysis on her left side.  Lifting anything was very difficult for her.  She had a harder time walking.  Many days were spent in bed not feeling well.    Romela had urged her repeatedly to sell the old house and move in with them.  They had bought a bigger house and had plenty of room for Teresa.  Why was she so stubborn?

The reason for her stubbornness lay in her belief about her daughter Amelia.  Teresa was waiting for her to come back.  Day after day she prayed that someday Amelia would come home.  Deep in her heart she believed that some day Amelia would return.  She wanted to be in the house when Amelia came back.  Amelia would knock on the door and Teresa would greet her with a big hug and tell her how much she loved her and had missed her.

One Saturday, Romela stopped by to visit her mom.  She found the front door unlocked and walked in.  “Mom are you home” she called out.  She did not get a response.  She looked in the kitchen but did not see her mom.  She walked to her mother’s bedroom and the door was shut.  She assumed that her mom was in bed either not feeling well or sleeping.  She knocked on the door but did not receive an answer.  She quietly pushed the door open and saw her mother apparently sleeping in bed.  She was about to leave but noticed that her mom looked rather pale.  She went over to the bed and asked “Mom, are you all right.”  Receiving no reply she felt for a breath or pulse.  There was none.  Her mother had passed away.  She died at the age of 78.

They had an elaborate if somewhat traditional funeral for Teresa.  She had many friends, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.  She was well respected in her church and in her community.  Teresa had never had an argument with anyone and was widely thought of as an angel who always helped those in need.  Everyone there talked about how much she would be missed.  No one mentioned the one sadness in Teresa’s life.  It seemed to be an unspoken skeleton that none there wanted to bring up.

Few noticed the woman in the back of the church.  She did not talk to anyone, but her face was covered in tears.  She quietly walked out after the service was over but stopped to sign the guest book.  In it she wrote.  “Amelia, Sorry Mom.  I love You.”

Chad and the Central African Republic – I Want You!

13 Jul 2023 12 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

download

As many of my fellow bloggers on WordPress know, there are free statistics available which give us a wide range of data and information on who is reading our blogs and where they are from.  One statistic that I have followed for my fifteen years or so of blogging is the various countries that have visited my blog.  There is a data map which shows me which countries have visited and how many visitors from each country.  As you would expect, most of my visitors come from the USA.  For 2023 to date, I have had 5,115 USA visitors.  The next highest numbers (2023 to date) for the top countries that have visited my blog are as follows:

  • United Kingdom
    • 1,073
  • India
    • 588
  • Canada
    • 488
  • Philippines
    • 371
  • China
  • 184
  • Netherlands
    • 138
  • Germany
    • 95
  • Australia
    • 95
  • France
    • 87

20230713_110703

When I look at the data map since the start of my blogging, it looks like I have had visitors from every country in the world except Chad and the Central African Republic (CAR).  I guess as a point of pride, I want to get at least one visitor from each of these countries.  How do I do this?  What can I say that will get the attention of Chadians and Central Africans?  Wait?  I know.  I will Google, “What do Chadians and Central Africans Care About?”  Having done this, most of the data that popped up concerned demographics and health indicators.

download (1)

Country Overview:

“Chad is consistently ranked as one of the five poorest countries in the world by the Annual United Nations Human Development Report. The measure of the country’s underdevelopment is staggering.  Only about 6 percent of the population has access to electricity, and only 8 percent has access to basic sanitation.  Adult literacy is 22 percent. Life expectancy is only 53 years.  Around three-quarters of all births take place without the attendance of a skilled health professional.” — US Aid for the American People.

Chad Health Indicators:

  • Life Expectancy (Female, Male): 57, 54
  • Infant Mortality Rate: 67 deaths per 1,000 live births (6th Highest in the World)
  • Child Mortality Rate: 111.5 deaths per 1,000 live births (3rd Highest in the World)
  • Maternal Mortality Rate: 1140 deaths per 100,000 live births (New Zealand is 1.7 per 100,000 live births
  • 9 million people need humanitarian assistance.
  • 7 million people suffer from critical food shortages, of whom more than 1 million face severe food shortages.

“Chad’s health indicators are relatively worse than other countries in Sub-Saharan Africa due to many reasons such as civil conflict, healthcare shortages, and lack of maternal and child health. Child and Infant mortality have decreased significantly in the last few decades, but numbers are still extremely high.” — Columbia University, School of Public Health

I was struck by the data on Chad since it made me realize how little I know about Chad or the CAR (Statistics were equally stark for the CAR).  It also brought out the point that not only did I not know much about them but never in my life have I done a single thing to help either country live better.  I wondered whether my country did much to help them.  Time to Google again.  This time I Googled, “USA aid to Chad and the CAR.”  Here is what I found for USAID to Chad in 2022:

USAID provided $73.6 million to the people of Chad for food assistance, relief commodities, and other support during fiscal year 2022.  The U.S. stands with communities in Chad as they continue to recover from devastating floods.”

Just for comparison’s sake, since the Ukrainian War began about 1 ½ years ago, the Biden administration and the U.S. Congress have directed more than $75 billion in assistance to Ukraine, which includes humanitarian, financial, and military support.  — Kiel Institute for the World Economy, May 19, 2023.  Compare this to the amount of aid that we gave to Chad, and you might find it shocking.  I did.

28489

Now you can tell me that this is like comparing apples to oranges or cluster bombs to F16’s or the M142 High Mobility Artillery Rocket System to M1 Abrams Tanks.  We are saving the world for democracy.  We are helping American values to survive in the Ukraine.  My response is that we have sent the Ukraine more for war than we care to spend for peace and health in Chad.  If you like some numerical comparisons, we have sent 1013 times more aid during the past 16 months to the Ukraine than we have to Chad.  74 million for Chad.  75 billion for the Ukraine.  That equals per capita aid for a Chadian at $4.31 per year (US 74 million in aid divided by 17.18 million Chadians).  This compares to per capita aid for a Ukrainian at $1,713 per year (US 75 billion dollars in aid divided by 43.79 million Ukrainians).

I wonder what this says about our values and priorities.  Is winning a war more important than helping people not die of starvation?  Are Ukrainians more important than Chadians?  Are we simply protecting American interests in Ukraine that do exist in Chad?  Is the war in Ukraine about democracy and we do not have the same goals in Chad?  Is it all just a game and the other countries in the world are pawns to be sacrificed for American interests? You tell me.  But I am also going to make sure that my charitable donations this year include Chad and the Central African Republic.

download (2)

I started this blog out somewhat facetiously.  The more I delved into the history of Chad, the more appalled I became at what we say we value and where we spend our taxpayer’s money.  Money that I and millions of other Americans contribute to the government.  I want my money to be spent on peace and not destruction.  I want it to help improve the standard of living of other people in the world regardless of their political or religious beliefs.  I do not accept that everyone must have the same political and religious philosophies as we have in the US to benefit from our help.  Call me naïve, but I think that our aid should be based more equitably on need and not on our political self-interests.  In no case do I want our aid to go to help another country wage a war.  What ever happened to the vaunted diplomacy in our State Department and diplomatic Corp?  Based on their efforts and results in both the Ukraine and Chad, they should all be fired and replaced with a new team.

Add_a_heading_(1)

Anxiety = Uncertainty =Anxiety

09 Jul 2023 12 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , ,

images

Some people have called me a control freak.  I suppose that may be why I am so good at planning.  For years, the most fun I had at the Process Management International consulting firm was when I was called on to help a client do strategic planning.  I preferred to call it strategic thinking.  I loved the challenges in trying to help a client set goals that they could accomplish or at least work towards.  Nothing is ever certain in strategic planning.  One of my favorite aphorisms was the comment by former President Eisenhower that “”Plans are nothing; planning is everything.”

dsm-5-criteria-for-generalized-anxiety-disorder-1393147_v2-902be69757414cc7a517ef3ca9838b59

But what is planning?  In my opinion it is an attempt to control the future.  It is a means of trying (Despite Yoda’s warning that there is no try.  “There is only do or do not.”) to ensure that the goals and outcomes and wishes and dreams that you desire will come to fruition.  You walk a tightrope when you do planning.  You must balance between two poles.  One pole is over- planning; the other pole is under-planning.  If you over-plan, you create a rigidity that can not be maintained in the face of change and unpredictable events as well as unintended consequences.  When you under-plan, you miss important factors that can jeopardize your intended outcomes and goals.  This is the Yin-Yang of strategic planning.

2022_AnxietyDisorders_TwitterWhat does anxiety and uncertainty have to do with planning?  This is an important connection.  Uncertainty in my opinion either causes or leads to anxiety.  The more uncertain we are, the more anxious we become.  Many people will not attempt new endeavors, leave home, eat new food, travel to new places, meet new people, take on adventures or worst of all “listen to new ideas.”  The uncertainty of these efforts creates anxiety.  The unknown consequences of doing something new brings some anxiety to most of us.  Change and newness can impinge on our efforts to maintain equilibrium and homeostasis in our lives.   New things can disrupt the natural order that we so carefully craft to protect ourselves, our family, and our identities.  “What if” can bring fear and panic to even the most courageous of us.

I am sure that each of us has various tolerances for change and each of us may have some coping mechanisms.  Sadly, some people cope by giving up, hiding away some place where they pray that change and uncertainty cannot find them.  This is the way they cope with uncertainty and prevent the dreaded anxiety.

download

The man who shot the little Black boy at his door recently and the woman who shot her Black neighbor on her porch are examples of anxieties caused by racist stereotypes that infect too many Americans.  Go out and meet your neighbor!  Go out and meet some Black people!  Such recommendations are useless in the face of the anxieties created by news media, White supremacists and long held tropes about African Americans and other minorities.

I like to think of myself as enlightened and non-racist.  Yet, only a few months ago, I went to my first traditional African American funeral for my friend Jay’s wife Gwen.  Realizing that I am nearly 77 years old and had never been to an African American funeral did not make me feel very proud of my own efforts to erase the divide that can exist between Black and White folks.  Who am I to tell you to go out and meet some people who are different than you?

download (1)However, when it comes to anxiety my solution is planning.  Karen would say I plan too much.  I don’t need to go raging into the night of old age, but I do not want to get in my crypt yet and turn off the lights.  Life has a way of closing in on us.  The curtains for each of us are indeed coming down and will someday be down for all of us, but we can slow their coming down.  As we age, we must push back.  Planning can help us to hold the curtains off for a little while longer.  But remember, “Plans are nothing, but planning is everything.”

800px_COLOURBOX26779991My theory is that I have been driven to reduce anxiety because I grew up with an abusive father.  My childhood was a daily diet of fear and uncertainty as to when or how badly my father would fly off the handle and take it out on me.  He might have had a bad day at the races, or something went wrong with his car, and it was all my fault.  So many things became my fault that I was always looking up expecting the sky to fall on me.  I looked under my bed and, in my closet, every night before going to sleep as a kid.  Years later I would check under my car and in my back seat before getting in my vehicle.  I never let anyone get on the inside track of me when walking down a sidewalk and I always look over my back when going to a public John.  I am not paranoid, and I do not think anyone is out to get me.  I simply want to be certain that I have an advantage just in case someone might be out to get me. 😊 Karen has learned to cope with my rather bizarre behavior and attributes it to my intrinsic anxiety.

My extreme caution has had one positive side effect.  I have learned to plan well and thoroughly.  Certainly, sometimes I miss the mark.  Planning is not a perfect activity.  No one has a plan or ever will have a plan that is 100 percent guaranteed.  That is why a good planner makes contingency plans.  Plans for plans you could say.  I call them backup plans.  If A does not work, then we will do B or C.  These plans have helped me to go more gently into the night.  I take more risks than many people my age.  I go to new places, meet new people, do new things, and eat new foods.  I am not raging but I am purposeful.

download

I am not the same person as I was when I was sixteen and my nickname was “Mad Pazz.”  I was so bent on killing myself that I took risks that today would seem unfathomable to me.  Now, I even purchase health insurance when traveling overseas.  Karen and I are going on a three-week trip to South Africa in October.  We will fly into Cape Town and spend a week there.  Then we will fly to Johannesburg where we will spend another week.  Then off to Kruger National Park for a four-day mini safari.  Back to Johannesburg and then off for three days to Victoria Falls.  Then return to Johannesburg and finally to Arizona.  We are on a custom tour and as of now, there is only Karen, me, and a guide for each portion of our trip.  I am looking forward to riding an elephant as I have never done that before.

I planned this trip and had the help of a tour company that has been great to work with.  Do I have some anxiety?  Yes!  Do I have some uncertainties?  Yes!  Will my plans all work out?  NO!  Of course not!  Something will go wrong.  Something unexpected will happen.  We will have some problems and I will reproach myself for not anticipating them.  I will have some moments where I will blame someone else for screwing things up.  And life will go on.  And if our trips are like the twenty-five or so other overseas trips that we have taken, this trip will be even more remarkable and unforgettable.

us

Which brings up a recurring anxiety that I have not yet discovered a plan for.  Will I be able to keep all these wonderful memories of my life and times with Karen where I can readily access them after I pass into the great beyond?  If I come back as a turtle or frog or elephant, will I remember all the good times we had together?  All the great places we went.  All the fabulous people we met.  If there is a heaven and I get there, can Karen and I still reminisce about the special times and places that we shared together?

remember-heaven

Maybe I can work out a backup plan just in case.  😊

Please Read This Caveat:

I have one caveat that should have been mentioned at the start of this blog.  There is a great deal of clinical anxiety that NO AMOUNT of planning, strategy, or thinking ahead will ever cure.  I spent years in therapy seeing different psychologists, reading everything I could on self-help, attending support groups, getting a BA degree and an MS degree in Psychology.  My early life seemed one large effort to overcome dreams of being murdered, being chased by something trying to kill me, being thrown down a dark pit and worst of all my OCD which became more and more embarrassing when I left home.  I tried to hide it as best I could.  If you have ever sat at a book shelf for hours trying to stop arranging the books so you could leave the room, you will have some idea of my self-loathing and mental anguish.  I still reap some of the fallout from my problems having been alienated from my only child since she turned 19.  I am sure she hated me as much as I hated my father when I was a child.  I did not make her life easy.

Somehow, I was lucky.  Some combination of age, therapy and planning, reduced all of my mental health issues to manageable proportions.  Somehow I did not kill myself or anyone else.  Today, life goes on for me when I can manage to control being so controlling.  Again, for me it is a two edged sword.

The Myth of the Good Old Boys

07 Jul 2023 9 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , ,

dukesofhazzard2

When I was growing up in Brooklyn, NY, my favorite music genres were opera, country/western and rock and roll.  A very strange mixture.  I acquired my taste for opera from my Italian father who had a large collection of old records by Enrico Caruso, Mario Lanza, Franco Corelli, Giuseppe Di Stefano, Mirella Freni and several other well known operatic singers.  I inherited my love of country/western from my mother and her roots in rural Alabama.  Long before Merle Haggard, Travis Tritt, Garth Brooks, George Strait, Hank Williams Jr., and Taylor Swift became popular, I was listening to Homer and Jethro, George Jones, Loretta Lynn, Johnny Cash and of course Hank Williams Sr.  Going down to Alabama each summer to visit my grandparents in Ensley Alabama where they lived on a farm exposed me to some of the best country music ever written.

My love of rock and roll was much more contemporary.  Every Italian who lived in my neighborhood in the fifties could make some claim to knowing people like Frank Sinatra, Connie Francis, Dion DiMucci, Frankie Avalon, Dean Martin, and Frankie Valli.  Many of these singers grew up in Italian neighborhoods in NYC.  They anglicized their names due to early discrimination against Italians.  But we all knew that they were Italian, and we were proud of them.

When Karen and I started dating in 1983, she loved music but was unfamiliar with both opera and country.  I took her and her children to the We Fest Music Festival in Detroit Lakes Minnesota in 1986.  We camped and spent three glorious days basking in the music from:

  • Waylon Jennings
  • Conway Twitty
  • Ronnie Milsap
  • George Jones
  • Tom T. Hall
  • Loretta Lynn
  • Reba McEntire
  • The Kendalls
  • The Bellamy Brothers
  • Jessi Colter

We did not get VIP seating, so each morning her son Kevin and I would grab some folding chairs and as soon as they opened the gates, we would run as fast as we could to get down as near as we could to the stage.  By the time, the music fest was over, Karen and her children were all Country Western music fans.

Little did I know at the time, how Country music would change the political life of America.  Unlike Rock and Roll and Opera, Country music has had a more profound impact on America.  Country music was both a reflection of and in some sense a cause of the partisanship that divides the USA today.

I had a good friend in New York City

He never called me by my name, just Hillbilly

My grandpa taught me how to live off the land

And his taught him to be a businessman

He used to send me pictures of the Broadway nights

And I’d send him some homemade wine

But he was killed by a man with a switchblade knife

For 43 dollars, my friend lost his life

I’d love to spit some Beech-Nut in that dude’s eyes

And shoot him with my old .45

‘Cause a country boy can survive

Country folks can survive

downloadThe “Good Old Boys” of modern country music started in the seventies telling us that rural people were good people.  That real life took place in rural areas.  Cities were evil.  Rural people were God fearing and patriotic.  City people were heathens and atheists.

‘Cause you can’t starve us out and you can’t make us run

‘Cause we’re them old boys raised on shotguns

We say grace, and we say ma’am

If you ain’t into that, we don’t give a damn

City folk worship money and are not patriotic.   All city folk care about is the stock market and getting ahead.

The preacher man says it’s the end of time

And the Mississippi River, she’s a-goin’ dry

The interest is up and the stock market’s down

And you only get mugged if you go downtown

imagesDonald Trump’s anthem was a song by Lee Greenwood called “God Bless the USA.”  Under more normal circumstances, I would applaud this song.  Greenwood won the Country Music Association’s award for Male Vocalist of the Year in 1983 and 1984, and his “God Bless the USA” had been awarded the CMA’s Song of the Year honors in 1985.  However, when welded by Trump and his supporters it evokes overtones of racism and xenophobia.  What else can you think when you see people marching around with Swastikas and Confederate Flags singing “God Bless the USA?”

download (6)

And I’m proud to be an American

Where at least I know I’m free

And I won’t forget the men who died

Who gave that right to me

And I’d gladly stand up next to you

And defend Her still today

‘Cause there ain’t no doubt

I love this land

God Bless the U.S.A.

I give credit to Lee Greenwood for penning this song.  Although he never served in the military his heart is in the right place.  The problem is that patriotism can become jingoism when it is only supported by words and not actions.  In 1774, Samuel Johnson printed “The Patriot,” a critique of what he viewed as false patriotism.  On the evening of 7 April 1775, he made a famous statement: “Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.”

download (5)“This practice is no certain note of patriotism.  To instigate the populace with rage beyond the provocation, is to suspend public happiness, if not to destroy it.  He is no lover of his country, that unnecessarily disturbs its peace.  Few errors and few faults of government, can justify an appeal to the rabble, who ought not to judge of what they cannot understand, and whose opinions are not propagated by reason, but caught by contagion.”  — The Patriot, by S. Johnson, 1774.

Years ago, I wrote a blog about Right Wing political commentators.  Talk show hosts found on the Patriot Radio and widely listened to in rural areas.  I noted that of the top ten political commentators on the Right not one had served in the military.  “Bigots, Liars and Right Wing Radio Talk Show Hosts” — 2016  I stated in my blog the following: “These bigots want to equate patriotism with military service and heroism with serving on the front lines but look at the record for most of the top bigots.”

  • Mike Savage, did not serve
  • Sean Hannity, did not serve
  • Rush Limbaugh, did not serve
  • Bill O’Reilly, did not serve
  • Michael Medved, did not serve
  • Glen Beck, did not serve

Who do you think listens to these hypocrites?  If you answer, the “Good Old Boys” you are on the right track.  This brings up the question, What is a “Good Old Boy?”  I asked one friend who is African American, and he immediately replied, “A Redneck.”  The online Oxford English dictionary defines a “Good Old Boy” as:

s-l1600

“A man who embodies some or all of the qualities considered characteristic of many white men of the southern US, including an unpretentious, convivial manner, conservative or intolerant attitudes, and a strong sense of fellowship with and loyalty to other members of his peer group.”

download nnn

In some venues there is a definite pejorative connation to being a “Good Old Boy.”  However, a great deal of Country music celebrates both the lifestyle and values of this group.  Over the years, I believe that this discrepancy has led to a chasm between so called rural America and urban America.  The differences put a spin on life where each side denigrates the other side.  The problem is that there is a great deal more of Country music doing the denigrating.  Intellectuals, educated people, people in high places are routinely belittled by many country music artists.

  • Cause I’ve got friends in low places
  • Where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away
  • And I’ll be OK
  • Yeah, I’m not big on social graces
  • Think I’ll slip on down to the oasis
  • Oh, I’ve got friends in low places

Let me be clear on one thing.  Country music did not cause the schism in America.  There certainly is not a cause-and-effect relationship between the two.  Art is said to reflect reality.  However, art can have an influence of reality.  Music spreads sentiments and values just as powerfully as does the internet or the news media.

“according to research, even how we perceive the world around us can be influenced by music.  Researchers at the University of Groningen showed in an experiment that listening to sad or happy music can not only put people in a different mood, but also change what people notice.” — How music can change the way you feel and act

download (4)

Over the past few years, I have lost much of my affinity for Country music.  I still listen to and love the classics by Cash, Nelson, Cline, Williams Sr., and many other old timers.  These musicians did not try to portray redneck racists as “Good Old Boys.”  They did not put down people who lived outside rural America.  They did not flaunt a fake patriotism to separate Americans by virtue of demographic or educational criteria.  They did not sing songs to insult other people because of who they were going to vote for.  They sang songs about love, heartache, loneliness, and work that spoke to all Americans, not just a bunch of “Good Old Boys.”  The myth of “Good Old Boys” is a series of fake attributions that many of these phony patriots want you to believe.  The following are a few of some common myths about “Good Old Boys”:

  • “Good Old Boys” are just old-fashioned cowboys at heart:
    • How many cowboys have you seen in Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Georgia? Most of these would be cowboys sporting their make-believe cowboy hats have never ridden a horse or roped a cow in their lives.
  • “Good Old Boys” are rugged individualists who can live off the land:
    • Right, and I am Santa Claus. I watch these “Good Old Boys” up here running around with their ATV’s and 4-wheel drive pickups and most of them don’t look like they could walk a mile never mind run a mile.
  • “Good Old Boys” really respect women:
    • Oklahoma, Kentucky, Nevada, Alaska, Arizona, and Missouri have the highest rates of domestic violence in the country. If you look at all the states where “Good Old Boys” claim to be from, you will find little or no difference between rates of domestic violence in these states and the rest of the USA.  — Domestic Violence Statistics .  Taking the rights of women in consideration, most of the States making it impossible for a woman to exorcise her reproductive rights are in the Deep South.

images (2)

  • “Good Old Boys” are more patriotic:
    • Sure, if you watched the insurrection at the Capital on January 6, 2021, you could see ample evidence of their patriotism. That is if you could see over their swastikas and Confederate flags.
  • “Good Old Boys” are more “God fearin”:
    • Yes, years ago in the Deep South, God created Man and said “Let him have Black men for slaves. Let the Black men go forth and pick cotton for their plantation masters to get rich.  Let the White masters have Black women for rape and mistresses.  Let the Black women bare many children to work the fields and make more money for their White slave owners.”  And God said all this knowing that the “Good Old Boys” would obey his words and life would be good – at least for the “Good Old Boys.”

170817_virginian_luxuries_TN

So, the next time you hear one of these “Good Old Boy” country songs, think twice before you start singing along.  Evil can not only be banal it can also be surreptitious and stereotyped.

PS:

Jason Aldean’s hit song “Try that in a Small Town” is just another example of what some have called the Culture Wars. This is from Slate:

“Is Jason Aldean’s “Try That in a Small Town” a song, or a Fox News polemic set to music? Right up front, let me say that the answer to why this song is No. 1 is the media headlines more than the melodic hooks. (Which, to be fair, are considerable—Aldean’s chorus can really overtake your frontal lobe.) It’s No. 1 thanks to a form of consumer data activism that is becoming ever more commonplace on the charts in the 2020s. Just in the last fortnight—which is when everything about this song blew up—much has been written, tweeted, and ranted about Aldean’s piece of musical agitprop, all of which has fueled digital consumption and hence the song’s inevitable Billboard explosion.”https://youtu.be/b1_RKu-ESCY

Happy, Happy, Happy

05 Jul 2023 12 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , ,

downloadA friend of mine once told me that you catch more flies with sugar than you do with vinegar.  Over the years, I have been told that I am too negative.  I have been labeled as a pessimist who more often sees the bad things in life rather than the good things.  I have been accused of being a skeptic and even a nihilist.  I have decided to turn over a new leaf.  I am determined to share more positive thoughts in my blogs.  I want you to see the world as a wonderful place full of joy and good will.  I was going to start my new focus next year, but I decided “why wait.”  “He who hesitates is lost.”  Thus, I give you the secret to living the life that I am sure you want to live.  Just BE:

Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  download (2)Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy. Happy.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy. Happy.

download (1)

There don’t you feel better now?

My Hero of the Year

28 Jun 2023 5 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , ,

hobbs-signs-budget-900x506

I must say I am super super glad that I voted for this woman.

Arizona Gov. Katie Hobbs signed two pro-LGBTQ+ executive orders on Tuesday.

  • One of the orders bars state agencies from funding and promoting conversion therapy treatment for minors.
  • The other will make sure the state employee health care plan covers gender affirmation surgeries that are deemed medically necessary.

Since being elected to office in January Governor Hobbs has vetoed 111 frivolous and obnoxious bills proposed by a right-wing Republican dominated legislature in Arizona.  The bills or executive orders that she has signed have been ones that promote democracy and compassion for Arizona citizens.

Here are two examples of bills that she has vetoed:

  • A bill forcing cities to hold gun shows
  • A bill mandating that banks open accounts for gun manufacturers

For a complete list of the ridiculous asinine bills proposed by the Republicans in Arizona see:

Every bill Gov. Katie Hobbs has vetoed so far and why  —  JUNE 27, 2023 3:30PM

010523-hobbs-inauguration-ew_-_25

Four Old People Talking about Aches, Pains, God, Death, Dying and Aliens

26 Jun 2023 25 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , ,

download (2)

If you are old, you might not want to read this.  If you are young, you probably won’t care about this story.  Years ago, I decided I hated to listen to “old” people or any people for that matter bellyache about their aches and pains.  I swore that when I got old or older or whatever comes when each month passes by, I would never sit down and importune anyone with my medical stories.  As we age, our number of trips to doctors, dentists, and optometrists increase exponentially.  Many of these visits recall vivid pictures of blood, surgeries, diagnoses, CAT scans, MRIs, and Ultrasounds.  To the storyteller, these episodes are a significant part of growing old. To the listener, (unless it is your mother) they are generally boring as hell.

download (4)

So today, I find myself sitting on a patio at the Dock Restaurant in Stillwater overlooking the St. Croix River with two dear friends and my wife Karen.  I am drinking a draft amber ale.  Karen has a glass of tea.  Jane has a coffee, and her husband Roger has a draft IPA.  The server is giving us time to decide what we want to order.  I know from the start that I will have their Walleye sandwich.  Karen orders a BLT.  Jane also goes for the Walleye sandwich and Roger orders a Reuben sandwich.

images (3)

As we sip our drinks and await our food, we watch the boats on the St. Croix River.  Large and small speedboats, houseboats, canoes, kayaks, and a great big old fashioned side paddle wheeler can be seen meandering back and forth from out vantage point.  The temperature is near 90 degrees, but we are in the shade of a large umbrella.  We are also sitting right next to the river where a cool breeze is blowing over us.  We could not be happier or more comfortable.  Four retirees with enough money to eat out every so often, pay our bills and spend a Friday afternoon perusing the Stillwater tourist and antique shops for things that we do not need.

Suddenly out of the clear blue sky, Roger says “My hip has been giving me some trouble lately.”  Roger is an avid bicyclist who at the age of 81 can no longer drive due to an eye condition called Macular Degeneration.  He stays in trim shape by bicycling everywhere.  You do not need a drivers license to drive a bicycle.

Jane laughs and says, “heck, every day, I have a pain somewhere.  If it isn’t here it is there.  I think they will only get more frequent as we get older.”  Karen notes that she has been having back spasms for the past few months, but her recent senior exercise class is helping her cope with them.  I bring up my knee pain which seems to come and go.  “Sometimes it takes several months to deal with the pain, but I keep trying new remedies.  I think it is very much a trial-and-error process.”

Roger rejoins, “It won’t really matter what you do, you will never get back to where you were when you were younger.”   I reply that I have no illusions about getting back to the younger John.  “I still think we do not have to accept all the problems that come with aging as inevitable. I think too many doctors see an older person presenting symptoms of pain and tell them ‘Well, you are old so you should expect that you will have some pain as you age.’  I don’t expect that I will have a life without pain, young or old but I know that some pains can be treated and others I must live with.   But don’t write me off before you know which is which.”

Karen switches the subject to some recent bites that she has received out at our campsite.  She attracts bug bites like Kim Kardashian attracts media attention.  Mosquitos, hornets, wasps, deer flies, chiggers and more all love her smooth delicate skin.  I try to stick close to her when we are outside.  From experience, I know that they will go to her first.  I guess I give up my husbandly protection when it come to bug bites.

I step out of myself for a minute to survey the four of us sitting at a table taking turns talking about our various aches and pains over the past ten years.  Here I am doing exactly what I said that I would never do.  Trading stories about medical issues mostly associated with growing old.  Roger is 80.  Karen will be 79 in July.  Jane is 75 and I will be 77 in September.  We are all college educated but in many ways none of us was ever really prepared for the travails of old age.  I remember hearing years ago that we age like “Fine wine.”  This is a load of BS.  More realistically we age like bananas.  We grow squishier and squishier and eventually get black spots then turn totally black and attract flies.  Finally, someone throws us out as we are no longer edible or useful.

images (1)I come back into myself and say, “Let’s take a walk.”  It is a beautiful day and a beautiful town, and everyone likes the idea.  We pay our respective bills, head to the bathrooms, and meet outside.  I suggest we walk the path alongside the river to PD Pappy’s than turn left onto Main Street where we can walk by the various tourist shops.  We head to an old antique store that we last visited almost a year ago to the day.  We spend a good hour or so in the store.  We see oodles of things that bring back memories from our childhoods, our old dreams and our wish-we-had-done that pasts.  We leave having bought nothing except a wistful yearning for the “Good Old Days.”  Pre-Trump.  Pre-Covid.  Pre-Climate Change.  Pre-Divisive Partisanship.  A time when we could still believe in the American Dream.

download (3)

The subject of death and dying is next on our agenda.  As we walk, we discuss some of the various friends who have recently passed away.  A regular part of our lives is now friends and relatives who have gone to another place or simply become fertilizer.  Roger is a proclaimed Agnostic.  Jane is Jewish.  Karen a Lutheran.  I declare myself to be 75 percent Atheist and 25 percent Agnostic.  I suppose I am hedging my bets just in case a god really does exist.

In the past three months, Karen and I have been to three funerals of friends.  I just finished planning a “Celebration of Life” for my friend Dick who took his life in January.  We will hold the celebration next month in the park where we used to meet for coffee several times each week.  Funerals as any old person will tell you become ubiquitous in our lives.  I should mention that even though we never met them we are also deeply saddened by the death of so many ICONS from our lives who we have fond memories of.  This past month saw Tina Turner, Treat Williams, Daniel Ellsberg, and Cormac McCarthy pass away.  These four are only a few of the recent celebrities who impacted my life in more ways than I can describe in this blog.  Each of these four people (as have many others) raised hopes and expectations that the world could be a better place than it now is.

My good friend Bruce was working this week on a set of Advance Directives for his wife Perm who has had major health problems over the past ten years or so.  No one over seventy takes death for granted even though we all know it is coming.  How, when, and where are unknown for many of us but WHY is easily explained.  Perhaps we each have our own whys, but medical science seems to point to the inevitability of death.  Immortality is reserved for the gods.

images (2)As we walk down main street, Roger tells me that he has seen a show recently that looks at the symbolism in the Catholic Church with a deep sense of skepticism.  He asks me if I think the Catholic belief in Jesus would be much different if Jesus had been garroted or beheaded rather than crucified.  I confess that I have never thought about this question, but I do find it intriguing.

I reply that my thoughts on religion deal more with the issue of theodicy, meaning “Vindication of God.”  “Theodicy is defined as a theological construct that attempts to vindicate God in response to the problem of evil that appears inconsistent with the existence of an omnipotent and omnibenevolent God (See Theodicy, Wikipedia).”  I do not see how there can be any god associated with omnipotence, omnibenevolence, and omniscience when there is so much evil in the world.

Many theologians have tried to defend the idea of God by invoking a “Free Will defense” which argues that God is possible because of “man’s free will.”  I am still not buying this argument.  “Why”, I ask “would any benevolent God make smoking and drinking and gambling bad for us if he was also omnipotent?”  I have ignored war, famine, poverty, disease, and pestilence since these have not really impacted my life directly.  Nevertheless, these latter problems do not reflect well on the idea of an omnipotent God who loves humanity.

downloadIt is now almost three hours since we met for dinner.  We are talked and walked out.  I am ready for my afternoon nap.  Karen wants to get back to her sewing.  Jane is tired of listening to us and wants some peace and quiet.  Roger is still thinking about God and whether there is other life in the universe.  We both seem to have come to the same counter-intuitive conclusion that there is not.  We are all alone in the universe except for a few Martians left over from the great Martian cataclysm.

Today we have touched Mars. There is life on Mars, and it us us-extensions of our eyes in all directions, extensions of our mind, extensions of our heart and soul have touched Mars today. That’s the message to look for there: We are on Mars. We are the Martians!  — Ray Bradbury

China versus the United States:  Who is the Bad Guy?

22 Jun 2023 10 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , ,

shutterstock_114785761

Years ago, during the runup to the first Iraq War, I remember the media and pronouncements by politicians all disclaiming the horrors of Saddam Hussein.  He was evil.  He was a monster.  He was a dictator.  He would make Adolph Hitler look like a boy scout.  The news was a steady cacophony of jibes and sound bites continuously portraying the iniquitous and ungodly elements of Hussein’s rule.

I described it at the time as a drumbeat sounding the buildup to a war.  As weeks went by, it got louder and louder.  Politicians on both sides of the aisle joined in the chorus.  “Saddam was bad.  We must do something about him.”   Naysayers were not heard from.  Shortly before it reached its crescendo, priests, ministers, and pastors from all the various religions of our great nation flocked to the Rose Garden to hold hands with President George H. W. Bush and pray.  I was reminded of the famous “War Prayer” by Mark Twain (1904).  An excerpt follows:

“O Lord our Father, our young patriots, idols of our hearts, go forth to battle — be Thou near them! With them — in spirit — we also go forth from the sweet peace of our beloved firesides to smite the foe. O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it — for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.”

I could hear the clergy of the land saying these words in their hearts while they prayed for victory for our side.  George the First got his coalition together to sanctify his effort to invade Iraq.  George the Second was not so lucky.  The rest of the world did not see any reason to invade Iraq again.  Not deterred one bit, George the Second started his war in March of 2003 after he DISCOVERED “Weapons of Mass Destruction” being stockpiled by the Ogre Saddam.   We could not let the Evil Saddam stockpile such dangerous weapons.   Supporters of the war searched for these weapons.  Strangely, none were ever found.  No doubt they have given up looking for them.

china nnnn

For some time now, I have been hearing the drumbeats for a new war.  The “Coming War with China.”  No surprise that we have been in an economic war with them for the past ten years.  The latest news on the economic battlefield is that China will take over the E-Car industry if we do not somehow stop them.  See the following article: “US can’t yet compete with China on EVs, Ford chairman tells CNN.”  Our former President Trump had this to say about the Chinese:

“China’s pattern of misconduct is well known. For decades, they have ripped off the United States like no one has ever done before. Hundreds of billions of dollars a year were lost dealing with China, especially over the years during the prior administration. China raided our factories, offshored our jobs, gutted our industries, stole our intellectual property, and violated their commitments under the World Trade Organization. To make matters worse, they are considered a developing nation getting all sorts of benefits that others, including the United States, are not entitled to.” — Rose Garden, May 29, 2020

Comments such as Trumps are strange.  Since why do we buy so much from the Chinese, take loans from the Chinese, and even eat so much Chinese food when they are “ripping” us off?  My hat that says “USAF Veteran” is even made in China.   Curious I found the following data that depicts some of our trade with the Chinese:

US Main Export Commodities to China, 2022
Chemicals US$25.7 billion 22.4 percent
Oil and gas US$11 billion -12.1 percent
Food and kindred products US$3.8 billion 10.9 percent
Minerals and ores US$2.3 billion -40.3 percent

trade war

“Let’s be clear: the US and China are not in a new Cold War. For some time, China hawks in the Trump and Biden administrations, along with members of Congress, have been pushing for the US economy to “decouple” from China, especially on tech. They have failed in many sectors. Despite political pressure in Washington, an ongoing trade war, and both countries preoccupied with domestic crises, the reality is that over the past two years the world’s two largest economies have become more integrated — especially on global supply chains. We take a look at US-China annual trade levels since 2015.”  — The Graphic Truth: Is the US-China trade war over? — January 03, 2022, Carlos Santamaria and Ari Winkleman

After seeing the amount of trade that we are doing with China, I am even more curious.  Why are we doing so much trade with someone who is “ripping us off?”  Would you go to a store where they ripped you off?  Would you buy something from someone who was going to rip you off?  This is very peculiar.  Do you think the Chinese might feel that we are “ripping them off?”  Curiouser and curiouser as Alice said in Wonderland.

I had always thought Capitalism was a friend of “Free Enterprise” and “Competition.”  But when it comes to the Chinese, it seems we regard anything they do as antagonistic to Free Enterprise.  We blame them for our economic problems more than we praise them for elevating the standard of living for their billion plus people.  A feat that has never in history been accomplished in so short a time and with such positive results.

china

However, lest I sound too Pro-Chinese, I will bring up their “atrocious” human rights violations.  They are notorious for violating the rights of many indigenous Chinese minorities.  Kind of like how we have violated the rights of Native Americans, African Americans, Mexican Americans, and women since before the Declaration of Independence was signed in 1776.   In fact, even after we signed this declaration which said that “All men are created equal,” we have continued to perpetuate human rights violations.  The Founding Fathers should have been more honest and said: “All wealthy and landed and titled White men are created equal.  Minorities and women are not equal and are available for exploitation as needed by rich White men.”

downloadSo maybe we should not be too hard on the Chinese.  But “wait” you will say, didn’t they send a spy balloon over our country.  Like a giant piñata it floated across our vast continent taking pictures of “who knows what.”  I think it would be easier to get pictures of the USA off Google Images but maybe they like doing things the hard way.  We shot the balloon down and I am still waiting to see the results from the FBI investigation into the stuff that was in this balloon.   I would like to see some of the pictures they took.  Any information about this seems to have mysteriously disappeared from the media.  Can you believe that they are spying on us?  We certainly would not be spying on them, would we?  One source which I should not divulge but I will anyway had the following to say about our efforts:

“In fact, spying on the People’s Republic of China has been one of the National Security Agency’s top priorities since it was established in 1952.”  — Robert Windrem

If I am correct and many other pundits would agree that we are winding up towards a physical war with China, than we need to do something to avert this potential catastrophe.  Of course you will say that is why we have our State Department and our diplomatic corp.  Their job is to help talk us out of a potential confrontation.  They are there to use tact and diplomacy to avert a military confrontation.  Perhaps this is why Blinken cancelled his previous visit to China after the balloon issue.  “I’ll show those Chinese what it means to send a balloon over our country.  I will not talk to them for another six months or so.”   This “Declaration of Non-Talking” comes on the heels of the following non-talking hiatus.  Again, I was surprised to find that Blinken’s current visit to China was the first by a top US diplomat to China in almost five years.  I guess we showed them how we deal with people who are ripping us off.  We don’t talk to them.

“US Secretary of State Antony Blinken emphasized the need for diplomacy and keeping “open channels of communication.”  Maybe this guy should practice what he preaches?

The second largest economy in the world.  A country with whom we are having a “war of words.”  A country where anyone with open ears can hear the mounting drumbeat of war.  The solution to our problems with China?  We cancel meetings with them over a balloon and we don’t talk to them for over five years.  Instead, we publish books with titles like:

  • The Coming War with China: A Semi-Fictional Future
  • America’s Coming War with China: A Collision Course over Taiwan
  • The Coming War on China
  • The Decisive Decade: American Grand Strategy for Triumph Over China
  • Coming China Wars, Where They Will Be Fought and How They Can Be Won
  • Danger Zone: The Coming Conflict with China

These are only a few of the books describing when, where, and how a war with China will be fought.  Type in “War with China” in Google in parentheses and you will get almost 3 million hits.  I found the current videos available if you don’t like to read:

Videos

Picture1

“They Want To Kill Us!” – Are We Close To a War With China?

YouTube · Valuetainment

22 minutes, 1 second

1 month ago

Picture2

US prepares for possible war with China | Latest English …

YouTube · WION

7 minutes, 26 seconds

Mar 24, 2023

Picture4

2:27

Will the US and China go to war over Taiwan? | Al Jazeera …

YouTube · Al Jazeera English

2 minutes, 27 seconds

Apr 13, 2023

So, who is the bad guy?  The truth is we don’t need a bad guy.  We need to stop expecting everyone to meet our requirements for the way that they run their economy and government.  We have a country that has been looked up to and admired the world over for its freedom of thought and action.  Times have changed and we are losing this image and personae.  We have become a stumbling block to development for many other nations in the world.  The reason is simple.  We have failed to learn to coexist with countries that want to do things differently than we do.  We have used our power and wealth to put our country first and to look for win-lose scenarios rather than win-win.  Many countries still admire us, but as is evident with the recent move to drop the dollar as the global standard, many countries see us as a global bully.  Study the major empires in history and they all started their decline and eventual downfall when they became global bullies.

 

Previous Older Entries Next Newer Entries