How One Determined Woman Made Lemonade When Life Handed Her a Bunch of Lemons

04 May 2024 7 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

While surfing the Internet a few days ago, I came across the following story by Ms. Jackie Fishman.  I was very moved by her story.  It was certainly a story that deserved retelling.  Her story has so many uplifting themes it is hard to describe them all.  Themes of determination, themes of courage, themes of personal responsibility, themes of renewal, themes of hope and themes of resilience.  Her story also reflects some negative themes that I saw during my three years as an employment counselor.  Themes of age discrimination, themes of one-way loyalty and an overall callous labor market that uses and discards people as nothing more than commodities.

I wrote to Ms. Fishman and asked for permission to reprint her story.  The following is in Jackie’s words and has not been edited.  Again, I think it is a story of courage and bravery in the face of what for many would have been a devasting experience.  It is a great example of the old saying that “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”  I think this story fits in well with the title of my blog site which is “Aging Capriciously.”  Aging is a challenge that we may all face.  We may never win but we do not need to go gently into the night either.

________________________________________________________________________________

I was put on a performance-improvement plan, so I chose to retire at 58.  Sometimes I wish I wasn’t a young retiree.  —- Essay by Jackie Fishman, Apr 19, 2024

After working for nine years as a communications specialist for a healthcare association, I was put on a performance-improvement plan during my 10th annual job review.

“Has my performance changed so much from my last exemplary review?” I asked, knowing that my previous review had been conducted by a former boss who was no longer at the company.

As a result of the PIP, I was sent to human resources to fill out paperwork outlining how my boss would closely supervise my work.  I had three months to improve.

As a 58-year-old, I worried about what this would mean for my career, but it became an opportunity for me to retire early.

I walked away from the job I had held for nearly a decade

I signed all the paperwork with HR and went back to my boss. I wanted to ensure she understood what was happening and get additional guidance on avoiding termination.  I started to get nervous.

After an uncomfortable meeting with human resources the following day, I left the company voluntarily.  I didn’t want to stick around to see how this situation worked out because I already had enough information to know my days there were numbered.

Leaving my job with no plan was unsettling.  My normal approach would not be so rash; I prefer to have a plan and know my next steps.  I was especially worried about my financial situation.

I had several interviews, but I felt forced to retire

Shortly after I left my old job, I worked part-time for a vendor I had previously done business with.  I eventually started applying for full-time positions and going to interviews.  Many of these interviews went well but somehow never resulted in an offer.  I wondered if it was because I was close to retirement age.

I could’ve continued working for the vendor, but the money was not worth the effort or the long commute.  Meanwhile, my personal life was getting complicated.  My daughter wanted help planning her upcoming wedding, my mother needed more oversight as she approached 90, and I craved more freedom to travel.

So, I decided to retire — in my 50s.

Being a young retiree has its pros and cons

I’m younger than most retirees by almost a decade — which is a blessing and a curse.

I decided to keep freelance writing.  I also started writing a longer project about my father’s teenage experiences as a Holocaust survivor, so having more time was welcome.  In addition, I began volunteering as a docent at the Newseum, which brought me a lot of satisfaction.

Plus, being young enough to go on some adventurous journeys is a nice perk: I enjoyed going on safari and on bike trips to California’s wine country.  It was also nice to have extra time to help plan my daughter’s and son’s weddings and be involved in all the pre-wedding activities.  Having time to do what you want is a definite benefit of retiring young.

Sometimes, though, I wish I wasn’t.

I can’t help but feel I still have a few more years left of full-time work in me, so I sometimes regret retiring so young.  I was cut off early from building up Social Security for a few more years, so from a financial perspective, I feel like retiring early has been detrimental.

I’m also worried I will quickly lose my grip on technological advancements.  I kept up with those advances through work, but as a retiree, I’m worried I’ll fall behind.

Either way, I wonder if my age played a role in all of this

In the end, it all worked out, but I do wonder if my age is what caused all of this.

I won’t ever know for sure if I was put on a PIP because of my age, nor will I know if I struggled to find a new job for the same reason.  But I now stand by my decision to retire and start a new phase.  After all, I was given the opportunity to reinvent myself and try new things.

Retirement is a time of rediscovery and transformation, and exploiting that opportunity is the best way to win the game of life.

download

Ms. Fishman is a writer, story teller, & Emee, Jewish & child of Holocaust survivors: She can be reached on Twitter at @jackiefishman or for more of her great stories at https://jackiefishman.substack.com

Here is a link to Ms. Fishman’s Web Page Portfolio. Some very interesting things to see and learn about there.

https://mediabistro.com/freelance-connect/profiles/jackiefishman/

Shocking Headlines That are Almost Not Printable !!!!!

01 May 2024 8 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , ,

download

Pro-Christian Group Swarms Bible Bookstore to Destroy New King James Bibles: 

When asked why, the group’s leader answered, “Because we don’t believe in all this ‘new’ business.  We only want old bibles to be sold.  We never met King James anyway.”

Man Kills and Eats Pet Parrot:

“I killed him because he called me a ‘stupid’ Trump supporter.  Trump is not stupid.  I am going to buy another parrot that will vote for Trump.”

Students Run Wild on Campus as Protests Soar Across the USA

Students at McKinsey University were seen running to catch a bus after their graduation ceremony.  “What’s the fuss” one student said.  “Can’t we even run on campus anymore?  I swear I am not Anti-Semitic.”

Possible Alien Spacecraft Spotted Landing Near Homes in Scottsdale, AZ:

Closer investigation showed the spacecraft to be a remote-controlled toy spaceship from Mattel being operated by a five-year-old girl.  The young girl was arrested and taken away in hand cuffs despite proclaiming her innocence of any intended space invasion.

Woman Observed Performing Potentially Obscene Sex Acts in a Downtown Phoenix Park.

Witnesses say that she was doing something strange to a Barbie doll.  When approached, the woman threw the Barbie doll in a garbage pail and fled.  Officers are on the lookout for an eighty-year-old woman with a Barbie doll purse.

Biden Loses First Debate to Trump:

Four out of five Trump supporters say Trump will trash Biden in a debate.  When asked why, many replied “Because Sleepy Joe will fall asleep in the first five minutes after listening to Trump say how great he is.”  “We really do think he is great.”

Americans Leaving for Greener Pastures as Inflation Rises Again:

Many Americans are buying a new shade of weather resistant green grass for their lawns.  Rumors have it that it can be used in salads instead of lettuce.   Chefs say it makes a great Caesar salad.

Kim Kardashian Does It Again!

Kim Kardashian and several other famous celebrities were seen eating at the well-known Per Se restaurant in Manhattan.  Kim was wearing one of her naked see-through look dresses.   She reportedly was miffed that most patrons focused on checking out the menu.

Dr. John Persico Wins the Nobel Prize for Literature:

John dreamed that he won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 2025 until his wife woke him up in the middle of his acceptance speech.  “Let me sleep,” he said, “It’s not every day that I win the Nobel Prize.”

The National Enquirer was Awarded the Pulitzer Prize for Journalism and Truth Telling this Week:

The headlines of the National Enquirer contained news of its pending Pulitzer Prize.  The story was written by five of its leading writers who were subsequently fired for telling lies.  They were then rehired and given raises.

images (1)

Shocking headlines have become the norm or new normal.  The media specialize in well-rehearsed talking points that come from on-high in corporate headquarters.  “Protestors are funded by Hamas” is echoed repeatedly by high paid shills for the media who call themselves journalists.  “Antisemitism is rampant among college university professors” shriek other headline news liars.  “If we don’t stop Russia in the Ukraine they will soon be over here to invade Disney Land” is a frequent threat published by all the major news outlets.  “We need more money for defense” is a never-ending plea that benefits the military and the manufacturers of bombs and bullets.

As we attempt to ignore these absurd, threatening, and shocking headlines, the efforts of marketers to come up with new bait to hook us continues nonstop.  Each day brings more and more bizarre and misleading headlines.  We may want to opt out of the media blitz that bombards us via the TV, the radio, the internet, cellphones, emails, social media, and text messages, but it is an almost impossible task.

Someone said, “You can run but you can’t hide.”  You can run from the news, but you can’t hide from it.  From the shores of Montezuma to the hallowed hallways of the Supreme Court, the news will get you.  They want you to be depressed, unhappy, miserable, and hopeless.  But don’t worry too long.  They have the fix for your unhappiness.  The answer is in the next commercial.  Buy it now, pay later and find true joy.  Happiness is buying.  Happiness is owning.  Happiness is selling the junk that no longer makes you happy and buying new junk which will succeed where the last junk failed.

Be sure to buy a big gun.  You will need it for protection to make sure that the Democrats, communists, liberals, gays, immigrants, feminists, student protestors, Arabs, Russians, and others don’t sneak in at night and take your junk away.  Actually, just to be on the safe side, buy two big guns.

Special Ed, Special Needs, Special Kids

27 Apr 2024 13 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

downloadWe have all heard the words, Special Ed, Special Needs.  We know that these words refer to kids who are “different.”  But do we really know what it means to be different, to be special?  Perhaps some of you have had special needs children.  If so, you do know what it means to be special or to have a special needs child.  For many, like me, it is a somewhat abstract idea.  Once in a while, I see a “different” child in a Walmart or someplace out and about.  My general feeling is sympathy for the child but also gratitude that I have been blessed to date with good health.

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to engage on a deeper level with about 10-15 special needs children.  As some of you know, I still do substitute teaching work at two high schools in Arizona.  Because of the shortage of both teachers and substitutes, I can usually pick which classes I want to sub for.  Years ago, you needed a license in a specific area to substitute in that area.  For instance, if you were substituting as a math teacher, you needed an education license in Math Teaching.  That is not the case here.  I substitute for most subjects from math to history, to band, to choir, to dance, to art, to construction, to automotive and even 4H.

imagesThis past week, I accepted a substitute teacher position in an ESS class or Special Ed class.  I was somewhat reluctant to take this class because I knew that there was no teachers aide in the class.  In many Special Ed classes, the regular teacher has one or two “Paras” who assist with class management.  A few weeks earlier, I had been asked to substitute for only one period in this same class.  I was rather surprised to find out that I was alone with ten special needs students.  Because they are all very different, having someone aboard who understands their various needs is important.  I had no experience with any of these children and have never been trained as a Special Ed teacher.  The forty-five minutes went quickly, and I had no problems.  Thus, when I saw the opportunity to sub for an entire day (which includes five periods of 45 minutes each) in this Special Ed class, I took it.

download (1)As the day drew closer, I had more and more trepidations.  Could I handle these children for five periods by myself?  Would I end up doing some emotional damage to these kids?  Would there be situations I could not handle.  The day of the class, I went in to see the administrative assistant who gives out class keys and class assignments.  I think she noticed my reluctance and she asked if I would want to switch with another class that was missing a teacher.  It would be a PE or Physical Education class.  She knew I have done a great deal of subbing with PE/Health, and I am very comfortable with such an assignment.  My undergraduate degree is a B.S. in Health Education with a K-12 certification.  Meaning I am certified to teach any grade from kindergarten through 12 grade.  In point of fact, I have now taught every grade from pre-school to Ph.D. classes at the University of Minnesota.

I mulled over the offer to switch and decided against it.  I told her I thought I might actually have the opportunity to do some real teaching with the special needs students.  In the regular classes, my offers to help with work or assignments are routinely shot down.  Usually, with polite “No, thank you but we are okay.”  I want to say, “You mean you are not anxious and eager to take advantage of my fifty plus years of education, experience, and knowledge?”  I suspect I would get the same responses.

download (2)So off I went to five periods of Special kids on a Friday which is the worst day to substitute teach.  Friday is the end of the school week and kids are sick of the school regimen and anxious to be free from bells and schedules.  Added to this eagerness to leave the school environment is the fact that there are only about three weeks to go until the end of the school year.  Students are primed for anything but education.

I arrived in the classroom about 30 minutes early which is my usual strategy.  This gives me time to find the regular teachers assignment and to peruse it to be sure that I understand it.  I decided to write the instructions out on the whiteboard as well.  The teacher had five class periods.  Two dealt with reading.  Two dealt with science and one dealt with math.  The assignments seemed straight forward.  Three of the five assignments had physical worksheets.  The assignment for the two science periods was to be done on their computers.  All assignments were to be completed by the end of the class.  Students were allowed to work together.

images (1)The entire day turned out to be very delightful and fulfilling.  Not only did I really enjoy interacting with these kids, but I really learned the meaning of “Special.”  Each child was very unique.  As a group, some had special emotional needs.  Some have special physical needs.  Some had special cognitive needs.  For some the dividing line was difficult to discern.

All of the students interacted very differently with me and their fellow classmates.  Some students were gregarious.  One young girl went around the class to make sure that students were working on their assignments.  She frequently offered me advice on running the class.  She came in for several periods and I enjoyed her extroversion.  The other students seemed to regard her as a De Facto teacher.

images (2)Some students were very solemn and said little.  They did not really interact with others and pretty much kept to themselves.  Some students were more loquacious and liked to laugh and joke with other students.  Another young lady in the class started talking about her pet rabbits.  I put a short video from “YouTube” up on the screen that showed pictures of various rabbits and some of their habits.  The kids all enjoyed the pictures and kept focused on their assignment while they watched the photos of rabbits doing some funny things like sleeping with a cat and sitting on someone’s head.  There is hardly anything cuter than a young fluffy rabbit.

download (4)

Over the course of the day, I actually managed to help several students with their assignments. To my amazement and surprise, these Special Needs students stayed focused on their assignments.  In a regular class, many of the students will do all they can to avoid working on their assignment.  From texting on their cell phones, to playing video games, to social media on their laptops, it is a constant challenge to get students to “focus” on their education and not on some video game.

All of the fifteen or so special needs students that I saw during the day were polite and respectful.  Two of the young men in the class looked like big jumbo teddy bears and acted like one.  They were always smiling and happy and learned my name right away.  I use Dr. John rather than my last name as I try to be somewhat informal with students.  In addition, out here in the Southwest, Persico is not easily pronounced.  I use the Dr. prefix to let them know that I have credentials beyond simply a teaching degree.  I think many regular students as well as regular teachers see substitute teachers as some sort of losers that can’t really teach or do anything else.  For instance, substitute teachers are never included in teacher prep meetings or teacher education activities at either campus.  I have been subbing out here for five years now. During the “Red for Ed” movement, I was told that I could not join because I was only a substitute teacher.  My net pay is $130 per day.  Sure, Karen and I can always use the money, but if you think that I am substitute teaching for the money, you do not know me very well.

If I only wanted money in my life, I would stick to writing this blog.  Since starting it fifteen years ago, I have made millions on endorsements for Trump products.  I have collected hundreds of thousands of dollars for doing keynote speeches at Republican conventions.  Famous Hollywood directors are always importuning me with opportunities to have my life story made into a movie or video game.  Marvel even contacted me about using my persona as a superhero for one of their comic book series.  I turn them all down because truth be told, Karen and I have more money than we know what to do with.  Besides that, I value my anonymity over Fame and Fortune.  Now you know that I am almost as big a liar as Trump.  However, look how far he has got by lying.

In Conclusion:

I ended up the day feeling very good about myself and my students.  I learned why we should think of these children as special.  I do not think that I will see a Special Child again and feel sorry for them.  I will be grateful that the universe has room for all kinds of people including those who are different from the norm.  There is a big difference between difference and deficit.  I hope I made a difference in their lives in some way or at least made the day fun for them.  I see no reason why school and education should not be fun.  Instead, for too many students today, we have turned our schools into prisons.  Did you have security guards in school when you went to high school or teachers carrying concealed weapons?

The Days of Remembrance

23 Apr 2024 7 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

“The Days of Remembrance”, according to https://nationaltoday.com/days-of-remembrance, is observed every year in April and May and is a week-long commemoration of the Holocaust.  In 2024, it is observed from May 5-12, with “Remembrance” Day being May 6.”

”The Days of Remembrance” was established as the country’s annual commemoration of the Holocaust by the United States Congress.  The U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum is responsible for leading the country in commemorating “Days of Remembrance” and also for encouraging these commemorations.  The Holocaust was the state-sponsored persecution and murder of six million Jews by the Nazi rulers, allies, and collaborators.”  — National Days of Remembrance

Several years ago, while in Munich, Karen and I went to visit the first of the concentration camps setup by the Nazis.  The camp was just outside of a small town called Dachau.  Neither of us will ever forget that day.  The camp is now a museum devoted to remembering and explaining the unexplainable.  The pictures, the exhibits, the ovens, the hatred depicted in this former death camp are beyond words.  In a strange distortion of reality, Karen and I could not remember any color for that day.  It was all black and white and gray.  The grass, the trees, the other people we saw all appeared in shades of black.  It was like being in the Stephen Spielberg film “Schindler’s List”.   How could any culture, any nation, any so-called civilized people systematically murder over six million people because of their religion?  Numerous writers have tried to explain the Holocaust, but none have ever managed to.  It is an impossible effort.  It is impossible because it is not possible for any normal human being to imagine the hatred and prejudice that stands behind Anti-Semitism and other forms of racism. 

On the way to the camp, we were told by the bus driver (in rather a surprise announcement)  “don’t blame us for the Holocaust, only a third of the people in the Village of Dachau voted for Hitler.”  I thought “bullshit”.  Later after reading Goldhagen’s “Hitlers Willing Executioners” I realized my judgement of bullshit was far too kind.  When people do nothing in the face of crime and immorality, they are just as guilty as the people more actively involved.  A large number of German people either did nothing to prevent or actively facilitated the atrocities perpetrated against the Jewish citizens in Germany. 

Sadly, this persecution of Jews has gone on not only in Germany for centuries but also in parts of Europe, the Mideast, and the USA.  However, it was not until 1860 that an Austrian Jewish scholar, Moritz Steinschneider, introduced the term “Anti-Semite” to denote specific prejudice against Jews.  Today, the USA is embroiled in a bitter controversy.  Another divide among the American people has occurred.  We have those who support Israel in its war against Hamas and those who support the Palestinian people.  The confrontations are taking place in the streets of several major cities as well as on college campuses across the nation.  Many Jewish people in America feel like they are being attacked whether or not they stand with Israel in what some are calling a war of Genocide.  Pro-Palestinian Americans are also being attacked as they protest the Gazan war. 

The Anti-Defamation League recently published a study showing a rise in Anti-Semitism ideology and incidents in the USA over the past year or so.  U.S. Antisemitic Incidents soared 140% percent in 2023.

“ADL tracked 8,873 antisemitic incidents across the United States in 2023, the highest level recorded since ADL started tracking this data in 1979.” —  U.S. Antisemitic Incidents Soared 140% percent in 2023

While a large proportion of Americans are against Israel’s war with Hamas near fifty percent support the right of Israel to exist. 

“Support for an independent Jewish state remains high. Indeed, 47.6% of Americans support the notion of a two-state solution to the conflict and an additional 8.5% of Americans support Israeli annexation of the West Bank and Gaza.” — Antisemitic Attitudes in America 2024  

It is sad that we cannot both protest and also respect the position of those we protest against.  Whether or not one is Pro-Israel or Pro-Palestine, both have a right to be heard in a democratic society that professes the First Amendment for Free Speech.  Yet, we also see a systematic effort to silence those protestors who are taking sides with the Palestinians.  

In 1816 Commander Stephen Decatur said, “Our country!  In her intercourse with foreign nations may she always be in the right; but our country, right or wrong” — Naval commander Stephen Decatur.  Others have criticized this perspective as reflective of an unthinking extreme patriotism, or “jingoism”  Fifty-five years later, in 1871, a US Senator Carl Schurz gave a very appropriate reinterpretation of this perspective in a speech that included the statement, “My country, right or wrong; if right, to be kept right; and if wrong, to be set right.”  Both the USA and Israel may have some reckoning to be done but it will only happen if parties in both countries can sit down peacefully with their opposition and discuss their differences.  

I wrote the following blog in a series of stories written several years ago.  I was inspired by Edgar Lee Master’s “Spoon River Anthology.”  I called each of my stories “Autobiographies from the Dead.”  Each of my eight or so protagonists tells the story of their death.  In this story, Ephraim is a Jewish boy who dies in the Holocaust in a Nazi Concentration Camp.  The story will not be easy to read but it is my effort to share some of the real horrors of the Nazi holocaust with those of us who were not there.  We cannot whitewash, we cannot trivialize, and we should never forget the evil and hatred that Anti-Semitism has evoked and still evokes in the world today. 

Ephraim the Jew

jewish shadowMy name is Ephraim. I was born to a Jewish mother and a Jewish father in Germany.  My parents and great grandparents were all born in Germany.  We were not rich but we made a living over the years in various trades.  My family was all hard workers and I was taught the value of hard work and an education at an early age.  We were proud to be Germans.  My father had served with distinction in WW I and my great grandfather had served in the earlier Franco Prussian war.  We had many musicians and writers in our family and were proud that we could contribute to the rich German cultural heritage of our homeland.

HumiliationOne day, some young men started throwing stones at my father and me as we came home from work.  We arrived home with bruises and cuts but no broken bones.  My mother said that things were getting worse for Jews in Germany and that she had heard of many such incidents from other friends.  My father said she was being an old woman and should not worry so much.  This was just the result of a bunch of hoodlums and the government would soon arrest such bullies so that the streets would be safe again.

Weeks and months went by.  More assaults!  More bullying!  Everywhere we turned it seemed that people hated us.  The government passed Pro-German Laws to protect “Pure” Germans.  Somehow this seemed to mean that we Jews were now the enemies.  We were no longer Germans.  Our businesses were taken away from us.  Our jobs were taken away from us.  Then they took our freedom away from us.

trainsThey took us in trains to these large detention centers.  Smoke and flames were visible from numerous chimneys when we arrived.  Some people whispered that these were Jews who had been cremated.  It was too horrible to conceive.  It could not be true.  We were whipped, kicked and herded off the rail cars.  An angry looking German soldier in a black uniform with skulls and lightning bolts directed each person either to the right or to the left when we fled the cars.  Women and young children went one direction.  Men and young boys went the other direction.  My mother and sister went to the right.  They waved and said good bye.  “We will see you soon.”  “We must go to the showers first.”  We never saw them again.

The-last-Jew-in-Vinnitsa-1941My dad and I were assigned to work details.  Food was meager and work was hard.  We labored with very little rations from before sunrise to well after sunset.  My father died a year later.  He was nothing but skin and bones.  He said: “I am sorry.”  Another year later and I could not get up and go to work.  The guards came for me one day and said, “You are garbage and you are no longer useful.”  Two other Jews were forced to pick me up.  They carried me to a large pit.  I noticed many other bodies in the pit.  They threw me in the pit with the other bodies.  A holocaust-bodies-mass-graveguard shot me three times.  “Like shooting fish in a barrel he said.”  I was shot once in the head and twice in the chest.  He laughed as I twitched and as the blood oozed out of my veins.  I was surprised that it did not hurt as much as I thought it would.  I could feel my soul leaving my body.

Finally, I was looking down at my distorted figure and it was no longer twitching.  Even the blood had stopped oozing out.  The guard who shot me had lit a cigarette and was enjoying a quick smoke before returning to another work detail.  I watched for a while as other men and boys were carried to the pit and murdered.  I could no longer bear to look.  I decided to go find God and talk to him.  I was confused and angry but I thought that perhaps a talk with God might straighten things out.  My spirit left this hell on earth.

I am dead looking for godmany years now and I am still searching for God.  I want to know what we did to deserve such a fate.  We worked hard.  We paid our taxes.  We treated our fellow Germans with respect.  We worshipped on the Sabbath.  We upheld all of the commandments.  We were good people.  We were good Germans.  Why did they hate us so?  What did we do to cause this suffering?  Was this some kind of a test?

I think God is hiding from me.  He is nowhere to be found.  I have wandered now for years and still I find no God.  I know he exists.  I believe in God but I think he is avoiding me.  I think he may be ashamed for letting this happen.  I swear my soul will never rest until I find God and ask him this question:  “Why?”  But what if he doesn’t know the answer?

Time for Questions:

What is an Anti-Semite? Why do people still hate Jews? What did any Jews ever do to deserve such a fate?  Are you an Anti-Semite?  What can you do to help fight Anti-Semitism?  Do you try? Why not?

Life is just beginning.

“I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”  ― Elie Wiesel

 

Please join us in community with local survivors and their families as we memorialize the tragedy and loss of the Holocaust and pay tribute to those who survived and the generations that have followed them. This special observance will take place at 2:00 p.m. on Sunday, May 5th, 2024, at The Tucson J in the Ballroom.

Each year, it is imperative that we set aside this day to remember the more than six million Jews murdered during the Nazi Holocaust and continue to raise our collective voice to reaffirm the promise of ‘Never Again.’ This year’s theme, “Generations After: A Community Promise,”  reflects our Southern Arizona community’s solemn vow to our local living survivors and those who came before: in the face of our past trials and our present challenges, we will remember, and we will respond.

This annual community commemoration is a collaboration of Jewish Family & Children’s Services, The Tucson J, and Tucson Jewish Museum & Holocaust Center with funding provided by Jewish Philanthropies of Southern Arizona.

This event is free and all are welcome.

WHY?  Oh WHY? Oh WHY?

20 Apr 2024 Leave a comment

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

why-1780726_640

“WHY did this happen?” is a question that seeks reasons and meaning for an event.  Some answers to this question include:

“It happened because God/Allah/etc. willed it”

“It happened because that’s the way the stars aligned”

“There is no reason, it just happened”

WHY did Oswald kill Kennedy?  WHY did the shooter in Las Vegas kill 60 people?  WHY do people support someone like Trump?  WHY do we allow Israel to have nuclear weapons but not other nations in the Mideast?  WHY did a nice person like that ever marry a real jerk?  WHY did the chicken cross the road?  From the sublime, to the peculiar to the mundane to the trivial, we are obsessed with knowing WHY?  We must have a reason WHY.

The police call it motive.  If a crime happens today, someone will scourer Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TicTok, and other social media to find out “WHY?”  WHY did they do it?  What was their motive?  WHY would a 47 year old married woman with three children who was a teacher have sex with a seventeen year old in the back seat of her husbands car?

When we don’t know WHY, we either begin a useless search for the reason or we brush it aside.  Your young child asks you WHY and you reply, “Because I told you to.”  Your employee asks you WHY and you respond, “Because I am the boss.”  You want to know WHY they laid you off or WHY you were fired, and you get a reply like “We had a reduction in force.”  You want to know “WHY” you were defriended on Facebook or WHY you did not get the job you applied for or WHY your good friend died so young or a million other WHYs.   No one stops to think, there is no sense in asking WHY?  In all probability, any WHYs you come up with will be suppositions, hypotheses, conjectures or out and out myths.

We are diseased with asking WHY.  We do not want to accept an arbitrary and capricious universe.  Even the great Einstein rejected Quantum Theory because it was built on the concept of indeterminacy.  Ironic, that so many people initially rejected Einstein’s theory of Relativity because it lacked absoluteness and determinacy.  Today, we still have a rebellion going on in morality in terms of whether or not there is any absolute morality or is all morality relative.  It is easy to posit a WHY if you have a solid concept of morality that you can refer to.  The favorite one among religious people is the concept of sinner.  A sinner is anyone who ruptures the boundaries of your own avowed religion.

So I run to the Lord

Please hide me, Lord

Don’t you see me prayin’?

Don’t you see me down here prayin’?

But the Lord said

Go to the Devil, the Lord said

Go to the Devil

He said go to the Devil  — Sinner Man by Nina Simone

I told a friend of mine the other day that I did not want to go to heaven.  “WHY,” he asked?  “Because.” I replied, “What if Adolph Hitler and Donald Trump are both there?”  I think the WHYs around such a situation would drive me to hell.

Another friend of mine is always good for theories on WHY people do things.  We discuss lots of problems in the world and he loves to seek out facts and evidence that might help to explain WHY.  He is driven to make sense of a nonsensical random capricious world that is frustrating.  Perhaps most frustrating is that just when we are beginning to realize that there are no answers to the WHYs of the world, suddenly an answer emerges or at least appears to.

The answer all depends on numbers.  A WHY can be found if enough people are willing to accept the explanation.  WHYs have a democratic aspect that has nothing to do with logic.  For instance, the question I raised above about WHY anyone would support Donald Trump has spawned a cottage industry of books purporting to provide WHYs to the Trump sycophancy.  From racism, to sexism, to caste, to identities, to religion, to abortion, to greed, to fear, to being rural, to the electoral college, there have been over fifty books dedicated to theories to describe WHY any rational human being would vote for Trump.

71K5t+FhguL._AC_UL640_QL65_

I asked ChatGPT “WHY would anyone vote for Donald Trump.”  Here is what she/he said:

ChatGPT:

“People vote for political candidates for a variety of reasons, and the decision to vote for Donald Trump in particular can be influenced by a range of factors.  Some voters are drawn to his positions on certain issues, such as immigration, trade, or foreign policy.  Others appreciate his outsider status and his perceived willingness to challenge the political establishment.  Additionally, some voters may feel a strong connection to his personality, viewing him as a strong leader who speaks his mind.”

“It’s also important to consider the broader political and cultural context in which elections take place.  Factors like party loyalty, economic conditions, perceptions of the opposing candidate, and regional or demographic influences can all play a role in why someone might choose to vote for a candidate like Donald Trump.”

I think this is a very good answer, but somehow it lacks a definitive characteristic.  I don’t want a hodgepodge of reasons WHY.  I want to know “THE WHY.”  All of the mitigating factors above are mere hypotheses.  If your neighbor has a Trump Flag flying outside his/her house or your cousin says that “I am going to vote for Trump no matter what he does”, the above reasons given by ChatGPT are not going to do much for you.  The problem with finding an answer to WHY is that it is like the Russian dolls.  One WHY is embedded in another WHY.  We want the bottom WHY but then the dolls become more like an onion.  You can peel the onion all day long and eventually there is nothing there.  If you are looking for a core seed or a core reason to explain all the other WHYs, you will soon be grasping nothing but air.  For instance:

“WHY did you vote for Donald Trump?”

“Because he is a Republican.”

“So, you voted for Trump because he is a Republican and you support the Republican party?”

“YES.”

“WHY do you support the Republican party?”

“I have always supported it.”

“WHY”?

“Well, my mother and father were both Republicans.”

“WHY”?

“I don’t know, they always were so I am too.”

“What if Trump decided to become a Democrat again, would you still vote for him?”

“Yes, I would.”

“So, it really has nothing to do with his party affiliation?”

“I guess not.” 

“Thank you for your cogent explanation.” 

Where oh where can I find the real reason WHY the world is so screwed up?  And what if it is not?  What does that mean for the universe?

29116_SB_text

“Excerpt from ‘Suzie Bitner Was Afraid of the Drain’ by Barbara Vance.”

PS:

WHY are poems so confusing?

Everybody is in a Hurry Today to go Fast

16 Apr 2024 7 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

download

Everybody is in a hurry today.  Nobody has any time today.  We do everything we can to keep busy today.  The hell with everyone else.  The hell with tomorrow.  The hell with life.  I am busy so you can just get out of my way.  The roads are full of maniacs passing on double yellow lines.  Other maniacs riding your bumper to the next stop sign about 100 yards away.  Passing on the right, then left, then right again until they wind up next to you at the next red light.  Where are the cops these days.  Speed limits and time seem to have no meaning anymore.

When I first came down to Arizona, I would ask people “How are you doing?”  “Living the dream” was a common reply.  “What is living the dream?” I would ask them.  “Well, I can golf everyday now.”  Ah, yes, you retired so that you could stay busy hitting a little round ball around 18 holes.  So that you could try like hell to hit the tiny ball into the tiny hole eighteen times.  What a life!  At first I did not understand.  When you retire, shouldn’t you make some time to just relax?  Karen says well maybe they relax by swinging their expensive golf clubs.  I doubt it.

Years ago, I learned that one can be or do and life is a balance between each.  Being involves spiritual activities that make us better people.  It is meditating.  It is going on a retreat.  It is praying.  It is reading a good book.  Doing is moving.  Doing is animated.  Doing is hitting a pickle ball back and forth over a net.  Nothing is wrong with doing but something is wrong with a life that is filled only with doing.  I have met too many people that spend time doing but spend no time being.

“Hi, Paul, would you like to get together for a coffee next week?” “Gee, John, I would love to, but I am really busy next week.”  “Well, than how about the week after that?”  “Sorry, but my great aunt and her son are coming over that week and I need to get the house cleaned.  Tell you what I will check my calendar and get back to you.  Not sure but I think I have an opening next year.”

cyan-minimalist-t-chart-3

There is a mania in this country with going nowhere fast and doing something all the time.  I rush to get somewhere so I can get busy staying busy.  The business of America is more about staying busy than doing anything really useful.  The country band Alabama penned a song many years ago which went as follows:

I’m in a hurry to get things done

Ohh I rush and rush until life’s no fun

All I really gotta do is live and die

Even I’m in a hurry and don’t know why?

Don’t know why?  I have to drive so fast

My car has nothing to prove

It’s not new

But it’ll do zero to sixty in five point two

Ohh, I hear a voice

That says I’m running behind

I better pick up my pace

It’s a race and there ain’t

No room for someone in second place

 I wonder what life would be like in America if more people meditated and less people were in a hurry.  What if people spent more time praying than watching TV?  I would give you better than ten to one odds that if more people prayed and/or meditated that we would have less crime, less war, and less violence.  Society and the world would be more peaceful if people spent more time meditating.  We would have more time for friends.  More time for settling differences peacefully.

The average USA citizen spends the following amount of time in each of these activities each day: — Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2022

Sleeping                      9.02 hours

Eating:                         1.23 hours

Shopping:                   .66 hours

TV:                               2.79 hours

Religious/Spiritual      .13 hours

Volunteering:             .10 hours

Educational:               .44 hours

Working:                     3.23 hours

You can see from the above chart that the average USA citizen spends approximately 8 minutes per day in religious or spiritual activities.  I wonder whether this statistic would find any greater amount of time spent by the religious right in America doing prayers or meditating than for the average person.  The time spent per person is just about enough time to say a blessing at supper time.  To repeat what I said above “What if people spent more time meditating and praying and less time rushing to get somewhere?”  Would we have a better country?  I believe we would.  We would probably have:

  • Less road rage
  • Less drug use
  • Less alcoholism
  • Less traffic accidents
  • Less wars
  • Less violence

On the positive side, just imagine how relaxed people would be.  If people were more relaxed, there would be nicer people walking around.  Imagine the following scenarios:

Ariana:  “You just took the parking spot I was going to drive into.”

Alex:  “Oh, I am very sorry.  I did not see you waiting there.  Just give me a second and I will pull out and park elsewhere.”

Ariana:  “No, that’s ok, I can find another spot.  There is plenty of spaces in the parking lot.”

 

President Biden:  “Look, President Putin.  I am sorry for all the names I called you in the past.  I have so much on my plate and too much to do.  Sometimes, my age gets in the way.”

President Putin:  “I did not want a war with Ukraine, but you kept bad mouthing us and surrounding our country with more and more NATO members.  We just want to survive like you do.”

President Biden:  “I think it is time for peace talks now.  We can back off and leave Ukraine alone if you can promise to pull troops out and restore Ukraine to its former territories.” 

President Putin:  “Lets start the peace talks now and see what agreements we can come to.”

Well, you can call me Pollyanna and laugh if you want but if Putin and Biden could sit down and meditate together and then pray together for peace, I seriously think the world would be a different place.  Maybe we could even get Netanyahu to pray and meditate some.

 

April 15th:  A Day to be Remembered

15 Apr 2024 6 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

april addd

I will bet that you do not know what today is known for?  Looking it up on Google I found the following significant events that April 15 honors.

  • National Laundry Day
  • Purple Up! Day
  • National Glazed Spiral Ham Day
  • National Titanic Remembrance Day
  • National Take a Wild Guess Day
  • National Tax Day

I realize that it is also the day that Trump starts a trial that might just end up in his being charged with a felony.  However, I do not want to say another word or even hear another word about Chump.  If there is hell, I am sure that it will be a place where you get to listen to or read about Chump all day long.  My greatest fear these days (since I do not know how much longer I will be in this world) is that if I get to heaven, I will find Chump there.  Can you imagine a worse image of heaven than a place where Chump gets to go?  Of course, since I don’t believe in heaven, why should I worry about it?  I guess it bugs me that just maybe Chump could even get into heaven.  I mean what if St. Peter is a Republican?  But let’s get back to what April 15th is all about.  I would like to say a few words about each of these significant events.

NTL-LD-LMax

National Laundry Day:

For years, I did the laundry in our family.  Every Sunday, I would take our dirty clothes to the local laundry mat.  I would take a book to read.  I would sort the clothes.  Put them in the appropriate washing machines and then the dryers.  Finishing up, I would fold all the fresh clean clothes and put them into piles before putting them back into the laundry baskets.  I did more than ten years of trips to the laundry mat before finally being able to afford a washer and dryer.  I looked forward to the laundry mat as a place to relax, read and sometimes meet other people who had interesting stories to tell.  For me the laundry mat was the great democratic washing machine of America.  A place where the hoi polloi met on equal terms.  A place where politics did not matter, and you could ask someone for change for a dollar without being thought of as a greedy capitalist.

purple-up-day--april-15

Purple Up!  Day:

Truth be told, I had not a clue today was Purple Up day.  In fact, I had never heard of this “significant event”.  AI on Google gives the following description:

Purple Up! Day is a day to recognize military children and their families and is celebrated on April 15th.  The day encourages people to wear purple to represent all branches of the military and show unity with each other.  Purple Up! Day is part of the Month of the Military Child, which is celebrated throughout April.

Sorry, I joked about it being a significant event.  It is rather a significant event.  Military children (My first daughter was one for a year or so) do not always have it easy.  I particularly like the idea of wearing purple to show unity and represent all branches.  As a military veteran, I think it is important to respect the families of soldiers as well as the soldiers.  Life is not always easy for these families or the children of soldiers.  Never knowing if their father or mother is coming back and often not seeing them for long periods of time.  I need to go out and get a purple t-shirt.

national-glazed-spiral-ham-day--april-15

National Glazed Spiral Ham Day:

I don’t much care for ham.  However, I do like Costco’s spiral ham.  When I was growing up, we always had ham and lasagna on Easter.  I seldom eat ham anymore and I rather have fish on Easter than ham.  Fish seems more appropriate anyway.  If you realize that Christs “last supper” was actually a Passover Seder meal, it seems unlikely that he was eating ham.  More likely he was eating some of the following:

Gefilte fish: Poached fish dumplings

Matzo ball soup: Fluffy matzo balls in broth

Brisket or roast chicken: A popular choice

Potato kugel: Casserole-like dish

Tzimmes: Stew of carrots, prunes, potatoes, or sweet potato

Both Judaism and Islam have prohibited eating pork and its products for thousands of years.  Scholars have proposed several reasons for the ban to which both religions almost totally adhere.  Thus, it seems rather strange that we now see so many families albeit probably Christians eating pork on Easter Sunday.  But don’t worry about it.  Today April 15th you can eat all the ham or pork that you desire.

website-feature---national-titanic-remembrance-day---april-15

National Titanic Remembrance Day:

“At 2:20 a.m. on April 15, 1912, the Titanic hit an iceberg and sunk to the bottom of the North Atlantic as members of the ship’s band played “Nearer My God to Thee.”  There were not enough lifeboats on the ship as she embarked on her maiden voyage just days before, and 1,514 people lost their lives when the ship hit an iceberg and sank.” — Google

The ship carried some of the richest people in the world on that day.  The ship was also billed as “Unsinkable.”  Perhaps these two facts tell us much about the hubris of life.  “Man plans and God laughs.”   No amount of money can save you from death.  Over and over the folly of human beings is portrayed in episodes of arrogance and ego that are difficult to imagine.  We think humans rule the world, but we are simply fools strutting our stuff like Shakespeare said in Macbeth:

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,

To the last syllable of recorded time;

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death.  Out, out, brief candle!

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,

And then is heard no more. It is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing.

national-tax-day--april-15

National Tax Day:

In the USA, today is technically the last day to file your taxes.  Just for the record, I filed mine back in February.  I now use Turbo Tax and the package works very well.  (I am not getting paid for that plug)  I am not sure how anyone can figure out the written tax forms that the IRS provides.  I think they were written with the idea of forcing people to either go to an accountant or buy a Turbo Tax program.  Any effort to simplify tax forms has been bypassed in favor or making the forms unimaginably complex.

website-feature---national-take-a-wild-guess-day--april-15

National Take A Wild Guess Day:

Who do you think dreamed this beauty up?  Go ahead and take a wild guess?  Don’t ask me.  I haven’t a clue.  I guess I will look this one up later.  I swear I did not make it up.

national-rubber-eraser-day---april-15

National Rubber Eraser Day:

Centuries before Cancel Policy, we had erasers to cancel things.  I never really liked erasers because I think they always left smudges and made the paper look dirty.  Erasers do not work at all with type or ink.  Pencils to me are an anachronism.  I do not understand why people still use them.  The lead breaks.  You have to sharpen them.  You can never find a sharpener when you need one.  Dull pencils suck.  You can’t just put them in your pocket, or you will poke a hole in your pocket and stab yourself with your lead pencil.  Why would anyone want to use a pencil?  If you don’t use a pencil, you won’t need a rubber eraser.  I would guess that the same people who thought up National Rubber Eraser Day own stock in a pencil company.  Take my word for it, buy a nice pen or even better, use a word processer.

That’s It Folks:  Have a Happy April 15th. 

My apologies for any significant other April 15th events that I have left out. 

Why Wasn’t Karen and I Invited?

12 Apr 2024 5 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Lauren-and-Jeff-bezos-White-House-State-Dinner-041024-77e21da748634622945afa00b70c72bd

Lauren Sánchez had everyone at the White House seeing red!  The journalist and philanthropist, 54, wore a revealing crimson corset dress to the White House state dinner on Wednesday, April 10.  She and fiancé Jeff Bezos, 60, were among the many luminaries invited to the black-tie event honoring Japan’s Prime Minister Fumio Kishida and his wife, Yuko.

Sánchez’s off-the-shoulder gown featured intricate lace detail, corset-like boning and a floor-length skirt.  She complemented the look with metallic open-toe heels.

Her dress was by far the most racy look of the dinner, which is typically a very formal, buttoned-up affair.  President Biden and Dr. Jill Biden served as hosts.

The above description is from a People magazine article concerning a White House state dinner on Wednesday, April 10.  Once again, Karen and I were very disappointed that we were NOT INVITED.  I am having my personal secretary and Chief of Staff send the following letter to President Biden.

Dear President Biden,

Over the past 20 years, Karen and I have both voted for Clinton, Obama, Hillary, and you.  We have knocked on doors, manned phone banks, passed out flyers and put-up lawn signs for you as well as your Democratic predecessors.  In addition, Karen and I have sent as much money as we could afford to support your Democratic campaigns.  I realize we are small potatoes compared to Jeff Bezos and other “luminaries”, but we do have one trait that most of these “luminaires” do not have.  We don’t varnish or adorn the obvious with bullshit and obfuscations.   We tell it like it is.  Let me give you a few examples.  Regarding this news piece about Bezos and Sanchez which was in People magazine.  We would have phrased things quite a bit differently.  Starting at the beginning:

“Everyone was seeing red!”  More like everyone could not take their eyes off of Sanchez’s breasts.

“Revealing”  More of her boobs were out in public than were below the gown.

“Luminaries”  Chat GPT defines luminaries as:  A person who is prominent or has achieved something brilliant, such as a celebrity in sports, politics, science, or the arts.  What has Sanchez or even Bezos done that is so “Brilliant.”  Is making money the sine qua non of brilliance these days or is having a nice set of boobs “Brilliant.”  It appears so.

“Corset Like Boning”  We would not want the fabric to come out of shape for Ms. Sanchez.  After all who likes floppy looking breasts.

“Racy”  Sexy.  Erotic.  Designed to make men drool.  Do you think Bezos approved of the dress before she wore it?  Do you think he wanted Biden to drool?

“Typically”  Evidently, Bezos and Sanchez did not want to be typical.  Typical is like being average and when you have as much money as they do, you can afford not to be average.  Maybe the Chief of Staff for Presidential state dinners should have a dress code?  Here are my suggestions:

  1. No tight spandex skirts well above the knees
  2. No tops where more than 2/3s of a breast is shown
  3. No yoga or pajama pants
  4. No muscle shirts for men
  5. No cod pieces for men
  6. No tight shorts for men

Unfortunately, if such a dress code exists, it was not enforced.  Now if Karen and I had been invited, there would not have been any problem.  Karen and I are more typical than typical.  She never ever wears anything RACY, and I do not own any muscle shirts.  In fact, I am not sure that I have any muscles anymore.  Karen could use some sort of boning device, but I am certain that she does not own one at the moment.  We are just very typical non-luminous people.  Sometimes we do shine for a brief moment or two, but it usually does not last.

In conclusion President Biden,  I wish you luck on your upcoming election.  However, unless I get a ticket to your inauguration in advance, I am opting out of sending you any money.  Karen and I both agree that we can spend the money going to our own party where we can be the CENTER of attention and invite our own coterie of luminaries.

Your Former Supporter,

John Persico Jr.

I Am an Inconsistent Man

10 Apr 2024 22 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

inconsistencyOver time, I have noticed that the most popular post I have on my blog site is my Home page “Who is Dr. John Persico Jr.?”  I realize that most readers want to know my credentials to see if anything I am going to say has any credibility.  Am I someone you can trust?  Can you depend upon my words or my facts?  Am I just another wannabe Guru so full of my own opinions that I have no room for other points of view?

Upon re-thinking my Home page, I realized that it really does not do justice to describe who I am.  It does not answer the questions that I raised above.  In fact, if you take it at face value, it could be very dangerous for you.  It could lead you to paradoxes and quandaries which are unsettling.  It might lead you “circulus in probando” down a path that flows around until it comes right back to where it started.

A discussion with a friend the other day led me to realize that I am a very inconsistent man.  Sometimes I say one thing, but then I change my mind.  I am a very erratic person.  Sometimes, I am very logical and at other times I am very illogical.  Many of the ideas competing in my mind are incompatible.  In fact, not only are they incompatible, but they are genuinely irreconcilable.  This creates an uncertain and unpredictable me.  If you are looking for consistency, if you want certainty in an uncertain world, I do not have much of it to give to you.  I am capricious and arbitrary.

images rrr

I am changeable and often at odds with my own beliefs.  My life is discordant.  Many of my friends would say discrepant.  I subscribe to the motto that, “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.”  I prefer the incongruous and incoherent.  The fickle and dissonant are the music of my life.  Boring is living with certainty and sameness.  God, please surround me with temperamental unstable mercurial and out of step people.  James Bond said that “Boredom” is the worst curse of all.  What could be more boring than a life whose patterns show no variability?  Only sameness.  All White motifs.  No mosaics struggling with each other for our attention.

images rrrr

I have a friend who wants to be called at definite hours and with a pattern of hours that are predictable.  “Let’s set a time to talk each day.”  “No, No, I am a serendipitous caller.  Let fortuosity guide our conversations.”    The unforeseen and the unpredictable make life more interesting.  Do we want to be rats on a treadmill?  Sometimes, I walk by a health club and ten people are all sitting on exercycles facing the window and pedaling furiously to go nowhere.  In my mind, I make faces at them and tell them, “Get a real bike and go ride in the traffic.”   

It is these same people who say “I don’t like fish.  They taste too fishy.”  I try not to reply “Do you also dislike mollusks, cephalopods and crustaceans or is it just members of the  Gadidae family that you don’t like?”

imagesThose who march to the proverbial beat of a different drummer live with risk, but they also are not bored.  We only experience life when we are open to the unknown and the unpredictable.  Walk through a cemetery at midnight.  Take a train or bus to someplace you have never been before.  Read a book in a new genre.  Watch a movie that is offbeat.  Try some foods that you think you might not like.  Meet some new people.  Embrace the strange and esoteric.  Life is not a cherry; it is a seething caldron of uncertainty and innumerable possibilities.  You will never truly live if you simply stand at the edge of the caldron and wait for it to stop bubbling.

God save me from consistency, constancy, periodicity, routine, steadiness, regularity, and invariability.  Give me a life with syncopation.

download

 

 

Ears – by Miriam Mladinov

07 Apr 2024 2 Comments

by Dr. John Persico Jr. in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

hand-and-ear-6

A good friend of mine wrote the following piece about Ears and Hearing.  It is quite cute and relevant as many of us are getting older.  Being heard and being understood sometimes becomes quite problematic.  She gave me permission to post the following piece.  I think you will enjoy it.  I know I did.

EARS 

By Miriam Mladinov

We are born with two ears, one of each side of our head.  They are not beautiful, fleshy, curly, or naked.  The shape is best described like ear shaped.  If they were covered in fur, or at least fuzzy hairs like cat’s or dog’s, they would be prettier.  Cats and dogs have another advantage because they can turn theirs in the direction of sound to hear better.  By having two ears, spaced by a head in between, they are the first stereo equipment which gives us the direction and spatiality of sound: a really clever invention.

Ears also serve as a carrier of all kinds of trinkets for beautification. This is an ancient practice and many Egyptian, Roman, Aztec, even prehistoric human remains, sport some precious, ornate thing attached to their ears.  These decorations were often made of gold, silver bronze, and decorated with colorful beads or stones.  The practice is alive today and we call them earrings.  If they are round we call them redundantly hoop earrings.  They desperately cling to a fleshy lobular, dangling.  Some people choose to have holes all around the ear lobe usually filled with small studs or tiny loops.  One might think that the neat row of holes, like on a shoe, would be made to tie them together around the head with a shoelace.  Other people choose to have a large hoop inserted in the fleshy part stretching it out like an elastic band.

Growing up I thought that piercing ears was a barbaric practice.  It probably came from my mother’s belief because she kept her ears intact.… but I inherited a beautiful diamond set earrings from my grandmother and wanted to wear them.  When I went to a place to get my ears pierced, I wore an old shirt in case the blood would gush over it and brought my earrings with me to insert them in the new openings.  The girl wiped the area with alcohol and click, click inserted two studs like with a staple gun.  Not a drop of blood.  It was almost a letdown because it was so easy.  Now I have a whole collection of earrings.  My favorite are two little hoops made from my parents wedding rings.

Ears have another important function: TO HEAR.  It is one of our five senses.  We never think about it until it fails.

At first a friend tells you:

 “Do not get offended, but I think that you might need a hearing aid.”   

 “WHAT?”

Three men were sitting on a bench in a park.

“It is windy.”  The first said.

“No, it is Thursday.” Said the second.

“I am thirsty too.  Let’s get a beer.”  Said the third.

My neighbor approached me with a question:

“Do you have a problem with roses?”

“No.  I did not pay much attention this year.”

“We had an invasion.”

“Invasion of roses?”

“We were gone for a while and roaches were coming out from the sewer.”

She never realized the confusion because she might be hard of hearing herself.  After I went home, I could not stop laughing.  Roses – roaches, quite a difference.

If I don’t actively listen, I often miss the first part of what is said to me, the second I get.  That results in often missing the subject of the sentence and asking: Who or what?

The worst part is with names. 

We shake hands and a person tells me: “Aaoouu .”

I say my name and politely ask him/her to repeat the name: “Aaoouu.”

“Nice to meet you.”

Then I run into the same person a few weeks later.  I still do not know his/her name because I never heard it in the first place.

“Oh, sure I remember you.  We met a few weeks ago.  Sorry, can you tell me your name again?”

“Aaoouu!”

Another time at a gathering, I approached a guy and asked him about his sick wife.  He gave me a blank look and said that he had a problem hearing.  I said that I too have the problem and moved away realizing that I approached the wrong guy.  I waved at him and smiled in a way of apology.  He probably blamed himself for not understanding.  Poor guy.

I got my first set of hearing aids.  The small peeps go inside the ear and the minuscule computer sits discreetly behind.  The set is very light.  When I wear them, I forget about them until they get hungry and start to squeal.  Time to change batteries.

My dad, who became completely deaf when he turned 90 and had hearing aids, managed to accumulate used and new batteries all mixed in a pile in a box.  It was a big mess.  Talking to him face to face was somewhat possible, but over the phone was hopeless.  It caused several misunderstandings.  The worst one was when I called him from NY telling him that I had arrived after a month-long trip, and that I would stay for a few days in NY.  He expected me the next day back in Boston, and when I did not show up his panic escalated to gigantic proportion.  I was kidnapped.  I was murdered at the Port Authority.  Police were engaged and searched for his lost daughter who was having a good time with a friend in NY, completely oblivious to the upheaval that the call has caused.

Incidentally my NY friend tends to choose the nosiest corner on a street in NY to call me.  The traffic is clanking, the sirens are tooting, and she is expecting me to hear her soft-spoken voice.  She also likes to call me from the car while her husband is driving through the mountains or a tunnel.  Afterwards, she texts me how sorry she was that the line was interrupted.

The hearing aids help.  They help a lot if I am in a quiet place and talk to one person.  Great!  We can have a coherent conversation, but I am lost anywhere there are drones and noises.  At my exercise class where there is always some music going on, I never hear a joke, or a comment flaunted spontaneously by someone.  I try to find a place in front to hear the instructor, who does have a lousy diction (not only my opinion).  I get a lot by observing.  If I am on my back and we circle the ankle of the left foot, I often miss the clue to switch the leg.  It is not the end of the world if one ankle gets more rotations than the other, under the conditions that the next time with start with the other leg.

One unexpected consequence of wearing hearing aids is that I lost the sense of direction of the sound. That clever stereo quality is gone.  When my phone rings, I run all over the house to find it and usually when I get it, it stops.  I think that it does it on purpose.  Or when something beeps, I run to microwave to see what is ready.  Nothing.  I check the dishwasher.  It also calls when is done.  Nothing.  I run to the door.  Nothing.  I give up, and then realize that it was outside, the garbage truck backing up.

There are some helpful inventions like Bluetooth.  I wonder who named it that way.  It is an electronic miracle which beams the sound from your other miraculous devices straight to your hearing aids.  Mine are not that smart, so they gave me another gadget for additional cost, which I had to hang around my neck like a necklace, called Dongo.  It rings when my phone rings and I can activate the conversation from it, only if my phone is within a reasonable distance.  If it is not, I must do the same exercise of running around to locate it.  The Dongo is also designed to help with a conversation in a noisy restaurant if your company talks to Dongo instead to you.  We got into a competition.  This cumbersome little animal hanging from my neck did not last long.  My friend whose husband had one told me that his Dongo did not work too.

For watching TV, I have a pair of earphones clasping over my hearing aid.  I can control the volume on the TV remote, on earphones and on my hearing device.  This triple enhancement actually works.  It would make a dead person hear.

There are other means to bypass this handicap. I am not embarrassed to say that I have a hearing problem.  It is better that people know that, than thinking that I am stupid.  On an occasion when I was giving a presentation there were no problems with me doing it because I was the one who was talking.  Anticipating questions, I asked the guy who introduced me to repeat the questions out loud.  It helped me, and I think that it also helped many aging people in the audience.  Win-win.

A friend of mine who was a speech pathologist told me that deaf people had harder problems to adjust to socially than the blind.  Being hard of hearing is not the same as being deaf, but it also conditions one’s life.  I avoid large gatherings, do not enjoy theater and any place where there are extraneous noises.  I still enjoy the concerts.  I probably miss something, but I am not aware of it.  I love Japanese Taiko drummers.

Ears are precious.

Previous Older Entries Next Newer Entries