Diversity is the most beautiful thing in the world. If you can suspend your judgements and look at the world through the perspective of diversity, you will be treated to a kaleidoscope of colors, patterns, habits, traditions, ideas, beliefs, and stories. You will see a world that is complex beyond belief. A world that no artist or musician or writer could even begin to describe. Take away diversity and the world is a grey amalgam of people who look alike, think alike, and act alike. Diversity makes the world interesting and challenging.
For some, diversity conjures up the idea of race. Many people think of diversity only in terms of race or gender. I remember when I used to facilitate leadership teams and project teams. I would use the Myer Briggs Personality Inventory to balance out specific psychological characteristics for my teams. My primary thought was that we needed a balance of viewpoints and ways of looking at problems. The Myer Briggs rated people on 4 scales that included: introversion versus extraversion, thinking versus feeling, perceiving versus judging and concrete orientation versus sensing orientation. I wanted to ensure that I had a diversity of thinking styles and not just gender or ethnic diversity.
There are many kinds of diversity. Scientists have shown that the concept of race is not very scientific. I shall call the various skin colors in the human race as pigmentation diversity. We can also have cultural or ethnic diversity, intellectual diversity, gender diversity and religious diversity. Each of the aforementioned types of diversity can add flavor and spice to life, IF and that is the big issue IF. IF, you are open minded to the differences in the human race, diversity can be a blessing. However, diversity can be a two-edged sword. By its very nature, diversity tends to be exclusive rather than inclusive. Many people think that they are superior to others because of some attribute that they possess.
Some types of diversity are more exclusionary than others. Income diversity, political diversity, education diversity and pigmentation diversity have led many people to unsubstantiated feelings of superiority. Rich people may feel that they are superior to poor people. Light skinned people may feel superior to darker skinned people. More educated people may feel superior to less educated people. The beauty of diversity gets twisted around like a pretzel until it is no longer recognizable. It is hard to grasp the fact that some people are opposed to diversity and prefer to live among people who are exactly like them. For these humans, diversity is something that they would eliminate from their lives. The concept that “variety is the spice of life” fails to inspire those who think that they may have to share the world with people who are different.
There are too many people who do not understand the distinction between the concepts of difference and deficit. Diversity is always a difference. A deficit is something that is inferior to something else. Only fools make the claim that diversity and deficits are the same. Rich people are not better than poor people. Educated people are not more intelligent than less educated people. Lighter skinned people are not superior to darker skinned people.
The words better, intelligent and superior have no causal relationship to groups of people. People have a wide range of knowledge, skills, and abilities but none of these have been inextricably linked to color, gender, education, income, culture, religion, or numerous other aspects of diversity. Of course there are some characteristics (particularly age) that can be linked to physical abilities but to assume that all younger people are better than all older people when it comes to physical abilities would be meaningless. It would certainly not be a bias that anyone would choose to use for excluding older people from the human race. I am thinking of the movie “Soylent Green” where older people were turned into food for the younger people when they were deemed too old to be useful to society.
When it comes to diversity, only the Vulcans had it right. Their IDIC principle stood for “Infinite Diversity through Infinite Combination.” The history of humanity exhibits a love hate affair with diversity. The world is divided up by culture, ethnicity, religion, tribes, clans, and castes. “Mine is better than yours” could be the motto for the human race. My god, my religion, my skin color, my beliefs. Small wonder that so many tragedies are brought on by our small-minded beliefs.
Never before in history have we seen such stupidity and narrow mindedness circling the globe. Stupidity and intelligence are two very different things. In the past four years, I have witnessed stupidity among many highly intelligent and accomplished individuals. Stupidity is a lack of breadth and depth when looking at the world. When one only sees the benefits of their own tribe and sees the differences of other tribes as a deficit that is stupidity. Two major factors account for much of the misery facing humanity today.
The first factor that is driving volatility and unrest in many parts of the world is the availability of low cost and relatively high-speed transportation. We are now capable of mixing the world with one big stirring spoon. People have been warned in the USA that in so many years, white people will no longer be the majority. This is perceived as a threat. Elsewhere in the world, countries are facing a dilution of their traditional populations due to both forced and chosen migrations. People who have lived with the “same” neighbors for years are now threatened by people of different backgrounds. In the US, we have seen a huge increase in “gated” communities. “Let’s keep out anyone who is different!” Data from one survey in 2015 showed nearly 11 million Americans living in gated communities. This number has surely increased dramatically in the past seven years. Borders may serve the same purpose. A large number of American citizens supported Trump’s building a border wall with Mexico.
One pundit asked and answered the question: “Why does America have so many gated communities?”
“Gated Communities are mainly successful because millions of Americans tend to seek happiness in their way of life. Many of them are willing to pay a high price to live their own American dream while isolating themselves into artificial perfection with people and rules they chose.”
The second factor driving much of the unrest in the world has been the availability of low-cost communication systems that are capable of both uniting and dividing cultures the world over. The Internet and the cellphone are tools that can be used to improve the world. They can be used to help people understand and appreciate the differences that exist in the world. However, they can also be used to create greater animosity and divisiveness throughout the world. People who are afraid of change and fear differences are much more likely to resort to media that allows them to join tribes of like-minded people. Instead of becoming tools to improve civilization, the Internet and cellphones are used to destroy civilization. By spreading misinformation, disinformation, and distortions, modern media has encouraged a negative rather than a positive view of diversity.
Much of what I am saying is not new. These characteristics of bigoty, ethnocentricity, xenophobia and racism have always been part of humanity. When we mix fear and greed in the “melting pot”, and give pathways to these attributes, the result is violence and devastation.
On a minor scale think of a sporting event where people adopt an “identify” based on some misguided loyalty or egoistic need to a particular team. The Packer fans sit on one side of the football stadium while the Viking fans sit on the other side. The Japanese sit on one side of the soccer stadium and the South Koreans sit on the other side. The Indians sit on one side of the cricket stadium and the Pakistanis sit on the other side. Each side cheers the scoring and plays of “their” team while booing the plays of the other team. When things don’t go well for one side, the result may be violence off the field as well as on it. Soccer has a well-deserved record of riots and hooliganism. I tried to count the number of soccer riots and lost count. Hardly any sport in the world has been immune from instances of violence and mayhem. People don’t enjoy having their “identity” defiled by being part of a losing team.
I mentioned that “sports” is a minor scale event compared to events concerning religion, culture, politics, or economics. Just imagine the potential for violence when Muslims versus Christians or Communists versus Capitalists or Democrats versus Republicans. The amazing thing is that the world is not less civilized than it currently is. People in the USA today bemoan the divisiveness in politics as something seemingly new. I submit it is not new but that it has become more evident with the Internet and media. The media love to hype every event to the nth degree in hopes of selling more advertisement. Due to the numerous channels of communication that distort and bias events according to the prejudices of the perceiver, we now have chasms of truth, glaciers of lies and mountains of deceitfulness. Stupidity and intolerance are beyond the pandemic stage and have become endemic the world over. We have more to fear from bigotry than we do from the Corona virus.
How can we learn to see beauty in diversity? How do we hope to overcome the ugliness that some people see in the differences that exist in the human race? Can we convince people that a difference is not a deficit? I think of words like tolerance, respect, understanding, open-mindedness, progressive, merciful, kindhearted, loving, and compassionate. Is it too much to expect that we can show these later attributes to people who are different? If we could only extend these thoughts to people who do not belong to our tribe, we could change the world.
“Until the philosophy which holds one race superior, and another inferior is finally and permanently discredited and abandoned, everywhere is war. And until there are no longer first-class and second-class citizens of any nation, until the color of a man’s skin is of no more significance than the color of his eyes and until the basic human rights are equally guaranteed to all without regard to race, there is war. And until that day, the dream of lasting peace, world citizenship, rule of international morality, will remain but a fleeting illusion to be pursued, but never attained… now everywhere is war.” ― Haile Selassie I, Selected Speeches
Now suddenly your partner for one reason or another is gone. She or he passes away. You come back to your home after the funeral and well-wishers have left, and you are now alone. You are more alone than you have ever been in your entire life. You go from room to room and no one else is there. The bedroom is empty. The kitchen is empty. The living room is empty. You notice the picture of you and your spouse at your anniversary party hanging on the wall. It brings back memories and tears. Every day for many days, objects, thoughts, and reflections will bring back good times and bad times that you shared with your lover. You will reflect over and over again about these past times. No doubt you will feel remorse about some things that you did and wish you could undo. You will also miss the fun things that you enjoyed together and the many good times that you had together.
Each evening after dinner, we enjoy food, dancing, and music at the Playa Bonita restaurant. It is right on the beach and while enjoying shrimp cocktails, we watch the most beautiful sunsets I have seen anywhere. As night falls, a band or singer will begin entertaining our group. Evalia loves to dance and will make sure that we all have a spin with her on the dance floor. The dance floor is outside where we eat. Almost always the weather is balmy and comfortable. Infrequently one might need a shawl or a sweater but an active time on the dance floor will mitigate any night chills.
We shop till we drop. We invoke our privilege to use our money as we want to. We make holidays out of holy days where we spend our time hunting for bargains and sales. Greed has now become a sacrament. Greed is no longer evil. Greed is holy. Greed is the American Way of Life. Millions of Americans adore the wealthy. The story of Lazarus holds no credibility – Luke 16:19-21. Nor does the story of the Rich Fool – Luke 12:13-21. Money is sacred and those who have more are worshipped by Americans and exalted as better people and better leaders. We elect millionaires and billionaires to Congress and even the Presidency on the sole basis of their acumen at having stored up wealth.
Well, you are probably thinking, “You can’t always pick your relatives, but you can always pick your friends.” This is absolutely true, but how many people do you know that have lifelong friends that they can trust and rely on in an emergency? I could start a long list of friends that I have left behind over the years for one reason or another. I have ex-friends who became rabid Trump supporters whom I said goodbye to. I have ex-friends who said goodbye to me, and I never knew why. I just did not hear from them anymore. I have other ex-friends who I could no longer relate to for one reason or another. Friends seem to me to be like annual flowers. They pop up for a while and then they fade away. I have five good friends left. I would have more, but some died early and one committed suicide.
have put the bad and the ugly out first so that you would not simply hear a chorus of how wonderful friends and relatives are. The truth of the matter is that as in most of life, you often have to take the bad with the good.
Friendships based on utility derive some perceived benefits from each other. Perhaps helping each other with building or fixing things. Friendships based on pleasure derive fun or shared activities together. Friends who canoe or ski or golf together. Friendships based on virtue derive mutual benefit from pursuing shared values and goals. Friends who work together for a common good. According to Aristotle, friendships based on pleasure and utility tend to be shorter than friendships based on virtue or goodness because needs and pleasures often change over time. Our values in life are less transient and more permanent. Friends who share your same values will be friends for life.
I have written about friendship several times in my blogs (See my 
Faith is number five of my seven essential virtues for leading a happy and successful life. Every Friday I start my day with the following prayer:
I decided that I must first understand what Faith really means. To do this, it is helpful to deconstruct how we think about Faith and how we use the word. I thought about how we use both Trust and Faith in common language. For instance we use trust in English as follows:
I think you can readily see that there is a certain degree of overlap between the two concepts. However, Faith generally seems to convey a more sectarian or theological concept of belief whereas Trust is generally used in more secular terms. Thus, we don’t “trust” God but we have Faith in her. Faith seems to be a term that is not contingent upon any kind of physical or logical proof. We might not trust a person with our money without proof that they are “bonded” or trustworthy, but we would not expect such displays of material evidence when it comes to having Faith in God. So what is the relevance to this in our lives? What good is Faith if we can substitute trust for faith and have more security in the long run?
The answer seems to be (IMHO) that sometimes we can trust without evidence but generally we are better off trusting with some element of surety that can mitigate the risk of our trust being unfounded or mistaken. Whereas, there is little or no evidence that can prove your need or desire to have Faith. You must have Faith like a parent has love for a child. It is unconditional. You have Faith simply because you want to believe. You have Faith because you accept something without conditions. You need no proof or evidence to support your Faith. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Should you have Faith without proof? What would a life without Faith be like? Would we be safer or happier with less Faith?
Fortunately, the 3.4 percent of respondents have been more than enough to help me keep my Faith. (Should I really need such sustenance if I have Faith?) Yes, I have Faith that my writing is making a difference to the world but alas, I have no proof for the empiricists, the materialists or the skeptics. I have to ask you as well as myself to believe that I am. It is Faith that keeps me motivated. Without Faith, life would appear to be a futile waste of time. Faith helps us to carry on when everything and everyone is saying to quit. The woman in the life raft, the athlete with a severe injury, the parents with a disabled child, the poor fighting hunger, the righteous fighting injustice are all sustained by the power of Faith.
Faith can believe everything
Kindness is number four of my seven essential virtues for leading a happy and successful life. Every Thursday I start my day with the following prayer:
There were few heroes when I was growing up who could measure up to my standards for clear and unemotional thinking. I grew up with a father who demanded toughness. My father’s motto was not to “get even” but to “get one up.” If someone hit me, he taught me to make sure that they would never think of hitting me again. My father was 6’ 4” tall and had been a professional boxer with a 21 and 3 record. He taught me fighting skills at a very young age. My neighborhood taught me to disregard the “rules of boxing” and to fight with whatever I had to win. I could easily protect myself and few people would bother me. Somehow, I became a protector for those kids who were less aggressive and who were picked on by the ever pervasive bullies. I kicked more bullies asses then I can count. I was always proud to help the underdog. Paradoxically, these traits did not make me more compassionate but made me harder and tougher.
Through hardness and toughness I began to forge a wall that nothing could get through. Sentiments, compassion and empathy were increasingly blocked out by my need to be tough and to not take any shit from anyone in the world. Each episode where toughness prevailed was another brick that helped to build my wall higher and higher. I never thought I would get married but after getting my first wife pregnant, I “did the right thing” and married her. It was the manly thing to do. My dad had always taught me to take responsibility for my actions and my baby Chris was a direct result of my actions.
One day we were in a grocery store just before Christmas. An apparently legless man pushing himself along on some kind of a wheeled board was inside the grocery looking for some money. I walked by him with Julie (my first wife) and ignored him. My wife turned back and started to give him some money and I said: “Shit, don’t give him any money, he can probably outrun me. I will bet he is just a fakir.” She gave him the money anyway and replied “What if he is not?” I never forgot that comment. I am not sure why my first wife married me. She once said that she thought all people had feelings and emotions until she married me. We subsequently divorced but I have to say that I probably owe my life to my first wife. She cared for me when I was suicidal and she always looked after me when I was hurt or needed help. Through her, I began to see what compassion and kindness were. This journey has continued with my second wife Karen who is one of the most considerate and most compassionate spouses anyone could have. Every day I learn something about kindness from her.
I disagree with Shaw. I am getting older and I still respect and uphold the values of our Founding Fathers, but I refuse to live in a gated community or allow a homeowner’s association to tell me what color holiday lights to put up. I am not a believer in mincing words but I respect the rights of minorities and anyone else to be referred to as they want to be referred to. I respect the rights of Indians to have their ancestor’s graveyards not dug up for commercial or even academic reasons and I respect their rights not to be depicted as silly mascots for some college team. Trump and his supporters believe the US has become too PC. They blame minorities for this. They would like to live in a land where it is ok to call a Black person a nigger since we call Italians wops and French frogs. A Black person they argue has a double standard or they apply a double standard for Blacks and Whites. The bottom line of all this double talk is not too much PC but a lack of empathy and compassion and kindness towards others.
Yes, there are extremists who want to take Huckleberry Finn out of the library just like there were Popes that knocked the genitals off of statues in Rome. But if you have any empathy or even the slightest understanding of culture and history, you will be less apt to say “My father didn’t own any slaves.” That is a little like replying to a woman who was raped “Well, I did not do it.” To which I can now hear someone replying, “Yes, but no Black people alive today were slaves, so why should they be so upset?” Yes indeed, why should they be so upset? If you are serious about looking at a reason, please regard the following article:
The people that we will remember in our lives and who make the most impact on our lives are not the rich and famous. They are the people who most cared about us and looked after us. They were kind and loving towards us and somehow showed that we meant something to them and to the world. They may have been our fathers or mothers or an aunt or teacher or perhaps a close friend. How much money they had or how successful they were did not make a difference to us. Indeed, what they gave us could not have been purchased by money. Money doesn’t touch us but kindness does.
I want to talk about Gratefulness today. It is the first in my list of the Key Seven Virtues that I think are worth developing. Gratefulness is the opposite of ingratitude. It is easy to fall into the trap of being ungrateful. The world besieges us with evidence of our incompetence and faults. Hollywood glamorizes the mundane and makes the rest of us feel inferior in comparison. American Idol becomes the graven image that we now worship. It is not an image of a gold calf or a prophet or a saint. It is the image of success and fame and fortune that we all desire. Even as I write this, millions of people are buying a lottery ticket in the hope of achieving instant wealth. How many of these people are grateful for what they have? I suspect many of them are very grateful in their daily lives, but it makes you wonder how grateful most people are when they will spend their money against all odds to become an overnight millionaire. What don’t they have that they will buy if they do win?
