Aging Capriciously

If you are expecting a blog filled with civility toward those who persecute others, you may be disappointed.  There are some issues that stir my anger, and the mistreatment of Gay and Trans people is one of them.

I am talking about those so called citizens, neighbors, relatives, clergy, patriots, politicians, and even friends who mistreat and harass Gays and Trans people.  Gays and Trans already have a very difficult life.  They are seldom involved in any violent crimes against others.  Many of them hide their proclivities away because it will cost them friends, love and even their lives.  The amount of violence against Gays and Trans far transcends the overall levels of violence in our society.

 LGBT people overall experienced violent victimization at roughly 5 times the rate of non-LGBT people.  For transgender people, the rates of violent assaults are over 4 times the rate for Non-LGBT people.  Before anyone dismisses this data as politics, remember that behind every statistic is a human being who simply wanted to live their life in peace.

How would you like to be minding your own business and a group of our stalwart citizens who do not think you should exist decides to beat the hell out of you.  I grew up on a street corner where on Fridays nights if the Navy ships were in at the docks, some guys would take it on their own to go down and “Roll” a few Gays.  It was well known that some Gay men would hang around the docks on Friday nights if the ships were in. 

I am proud that I never joined in “Rolling a Gay”.  My father was a WWII decorated veteran with a Bronze Star and a Purple Heart.  He was 6’4” tall and became a professional boxer when he left the military.  He had served in Paton’s 3^rd Army on the drive up from Sicily to Germany.  He was a mean SOB and tough as nails.  My friends would not come over to my house because they were all afraid of my father.  My father was always getting in fights.  Once on a visit to where my father eventually ended up working (the US Post Office) his supervisor took me aside and told me that my father was a great worker, but he would never get promoted.  He said, “your dad is always getting in fights.”  My father would not tolerate taking shit from anyone. 

My father became Commander of one of the American Legion posts in Brooklyn.  One night he was taking the days money for food and drinks to the local bank drop after the Legion Post had closed.  It was probably after 11 PM or so.  Four local hoods tried to attack him on the way and take the bag of money away from him.  He beat the “you know what” out of all four of them and waited until some passerby called the cops.  He turned them over to the police.  Somehow a NYC newspaper got word of this and wrote the story up a week or so later. 

As mean and hard as my father was, he had no use for anyone picking on someone.  He would not tolerate anyone hurting someone smaller than they were or less able to protect themselves.  One day, he heard me use the word nigger.  He grabbed me by the back of my neck and brought me over to the kitchen sink.  He turned the water on and picked up a bar of soap.  He shoved the soap in my face and told me that if he ever heard me use that word again, he would wash my mouth out with this bar of soap.  I know he meant it because he was not shy of using the belt on me when I was growing up.

I never did measure up to my father’s standards.  He was disappointed that I never grew past my 5’ 8” inch height.  I went in the military right after high school.  I wanted to go to Vietnam and fight the evil communists.  Every time I came home, my dad would measure me to see if I grew any.  I never did.

My dad had many problems.  Overall, I would say he was not a good man or a good dad.  But he did teach me to HATE bullies and to step in whenever I saw a bully picking on someone.  My dad always told me “Don’t worry about how big they are.  Go in swinging.  The bigger they are they harder they will fall.”  I ended up having too many fights myself.  But I am proud that like my dad I always fought bullies and I never picked on the underdog or anyone smaller than I was.   

Now we seem to have a nation of bullies who pick on Gays and Trans.  People who mind their own business but have different sexual orientation than the mainstream of so called “Normal” people.  “Normal” people promote their healthy sexual lifestyles and “family” orientations to the press and public while hiding their “abnormal” and even deviant behaviors. 

Hardly a day goes by when some “Normal” person who seems to lead an accepted lifestyle by “Normal” standards is then caught in bed with someone who should have been off-limits.  Or worse, we are constantly finding “Normal” people who turn out to be pedophiles that prey on young children in their off hours. 

But there is another danger in our society.  Politicians, ministers, and others who want to take away the rights from people who are not like them or who do not practice their religious beliefs or sexual orientation.  We are told the Bible bans and censors homosexual lifestyles by these religious zealots who claim to lead their own lives by the Bible.  It is easy to use the Bible to justify your own beliefs.  A book written by many people over centuries in which you can find justification for anything you want to do.  It is full of exhortations to kill people that few would be stupid or evil enough to endorse today. 

Here are some examples of biblical laws and commands that most modern Christians do not follow literally:

1. Stoning Rebellious Children

“If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son… all the men of his town are to stone him to death.”
— Deuteronomy 21:18–21

Virtually no modern Christian advocates carrying out this law, despite some citing Old Testament laws regarding homosexuality.

2. Executing Adulterers

“The adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.”
— Leviticus 20:10

3. Executing People Who Work on the Sabbath

“Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day shall surely be put to death.”
— Exodus 31:15

4. Women Speaking in Church

“Women should remain silent in the churches.”
— 1 Corinthians 14:34

5. Selling Daughters

Exodus 21:7 discusses a father selling his daughter into servitude.

Recently a group called America First Legal founded by Stephen Miller one of Trump’s top sycophants has come up with a new way to attack Gay and Trans people.  He is out to find a way to punish teachers who allegedly conceal  information from parents regarding the sexual orientation of their elementary school children.  He wants a bill that would require teachers to alert parents regarding their children’s transgender identities or activities in elementary schools. What kind of a human being would suggest a policy like this?  He claims to be an advocate of Parental Rights.  Whatever his stated purpose, the practical effect of his policy is to place vulnerable children under suspicion and subject them to scrutiny that many other children will never face.

I taught every grade from nursery to Ph.D. programs in my 50 plus years of teaching.  I taught two years in elementary grades 1 to 3.  My undergraduate degree in Health Education included a license to teach K-12 grade.  In my years working in elementary schools, I never saw any behavior that I would want to report to parents.  Did boys play with dolls?  Did girls play with trucks?  Were some girls more querulous than boys?  Were some boys more timid than girls?  If you have ever been around children 6-8 years old, you would certainly know the answer to these questions. What kind of a person would start requiring teachers to monitor such behavior, label it as deviant and then report it to school administrators and parents.  I cannot imagine in all my fifty years of teaching being given that responsibility or added duty to my teaching obligations.  I taught all my students equally.  I was there to teach morals, ethics and ideas, not decide who needed to be outed or who was Gay or Trans.   

Let’s look at Stephen Miller for a moment to see what he supports and does not support.  He claims to be supporting Parental Rights which is a pronouncement full of “mom, god and apple pie” thoughts for most Americans.  But is he really a man who cares for the children as well as the parents?

Stephen Miller became nationally known as one of the principal architects of the Trump administration’s hard-liner immigration policies, including travel restrictions, aggressive deportation initiatives, and the 2018 family-separation policy at the border.  Even many conservatives who support stricter immigration enforcement acknowledge that he tends to favor maximalist approaches rather than compromise.

I repeat that this is the man who supported family separation, sought to restrict DACA, challenged LGBTQ protections, and now wants schools involved in monitoring children’s gender identity. You decide whether this sounds like someone primarily concerned with the well-being of vulnerable children.

His critics point to:

• Family separation at the border.
• Attempts to end or restrict DACA protections.
• Travel bans affecting predominantly Muslim countries.
• Efforts to challenge diversity, equity, and inclusion programs.
• Litigation aimed at rolling back various LGBTQ protections.

His supporters would respond that:

• He is defending national sovereignty.
• He is defending equal treatment under the law.
• He is opposing what he sees as unlawful race-based preferences and government overreach.
• He is protecting parental rights.

My assessment

If I were trying to predict Miller’s motivation based on his overall record, I would not start from the assumption that his primary concern is the psychological well-being of transgender youth.  For a man who is against government overreach he has no problem with it when it comes to the government stepping in to tell the schools how they should be run.

If you think this man is out to help parents, that is your prerogative.  But judging by his actions and not his words, he is hiding behind a mirror of Parental Rights to push a religious agenda that is against Gay and Trans rights.  

Do not expect me to believe that a sycophant like Miller is out to help American children or parents of children who do not fit in with societal norms.    

You might as well ask me to believe that a rattlesnake is fun to cuddle up with.