Aging Capriciously

Oh Lord, Please don’t let them take my guns away,

I’m just a soul whose intentions are good,

Please don’t let me be misunderstood.

Oh Lord, Please don’t let them take my country away,

I’m just a soul whose intentions are good,

Please don’t let me be misunderstood.

Oh Lord, Please don’t let them take my woman away,

I’m just a soul whose intentions are good,

Please don’t let me be misunderstood.

Oh Lord, Please don’t let them take my God away,

I’m just a soul whose intentions are good,

Please don’t let me be misunderstood.

I was thinking the other day about the hysteria connected to the concept of gun control.  The more I thought about it the more it seemed that there was a pervasive paranoia prevalent among members of the Right including Tea Partiers, Republicans, KKK, White Supremacy Groups and Anti-Immigrant groups that some of their “stuff” would be taken away. When it comes to gun control the Right Wing do not believe that anyone really wants responsible gun ownership, what they (the Liberals) really want is “their” guns.

There are four key things that Right Wingers fear will be taken away from them by the leftie radical pinko intellectual do-gooders, otherwise known as “Liberals.”  These four things are:

• My gun
• My country
• My woman
• My god

No one can deny the value of each of these “things” and certainly one can empathize with anyone losing anyone of them.  However, the fear among Right Wingers concerning losing these things seems grossly out of proportion to the reality that exists.  I have no Liberal friends who really want an AK 47 or an AR 15.  None of my friends would know what to do with another wife and most don’t believe in God so I doubt they would want a new god whether Hindu, Christian, Baptist or whatever – Finally, I cannot comprehend how anyone could take someone’s country away.  This problem understanding the fears and paranoia of the Right was becoming very perplexing to me.

I decided that the only way to understand this phenomenon of (shall we say) “fear of losing” would be to interview some people on the Right to see why and what they are really afraid of.  If Freud was correct, their objects of desire and a fear of losing them are really a mask that is hiding even greater desires and feelings.  By looking deeper, we can find the real core of the hysteria and paranoia that is so prevalent among Right Wingers.  My interviews would help me to unlock the true meaning and cause of the fears that seem so prevalent among those on the Right. Perhaps I thought, with a better understanding I could help some of my paranoid friends to see that everyone was not out to take things away from them.

I conducted the following series of interviews near where I live.  I decided to deal with one specific subject with each interviewee rather than range among a variety of issues.  Thus, I would deal with guns with someone who strongly supported gun rights and deal with the subject of god with someone who was a strong supporter of a particular God assuming that there could be many gods.  It was easy to find all of the people for my interviews.  I simply looked for bumper stickers with the appropriate comments.  I will start with the issue of gun control which is number one on my list above and work down the list.

My first interview was with Dwayne:  A young man of thirty three.  He works as a machinist in a local manufacturing company.  Dwayne likes to hunt and fish and has a wife and two small children.  Dwayne is an ardent supporter of the NRA and is a vocal opponent of any form of gun control.  I found Dwayne by noticing his bumper sticker which read:

JOHN – Why do you need your guns?

DWAYNE – A variety of reasons:  Hunting, home protection, defense of my country, personal protection,

JOHN – Don’t we have the army and police to protect us?

DWAYNE – Well, they can’t always be there when you need them.

JOHN – When was the last time you or anyone you knew had a home invasion or had to protect your country with your personal weapons?

DWAYNE – Well, as the Boy Scouts would say, it is better to be prepared.

JOHN – So how worried are you that you or your family might be attacked?

DWAYNE – Very worried. You can’t pick up a paper without reading about someone who was shot, knifed or mugged.  The streets have become very dangerous.

JOHN – Did you know crime and homicide rates are actually down significantly from twenty years ago and you are probably safer now than you have ever been?

DWAYNE – That may be true but statistics don’t apply to individuals and I feel a lot safer with my concealed carry than I would with your statistics.  Maybe crime rates are going down because more people are carrying guns.

JOHN – Doesn’t the thought of everyone having a concealed weapon on them bother you in the least?  Do you think your children and spouse would be equally able to protect themselves?

DWAYNE – I have taught my wife how to shoot and I will teach my kids the same when they are old enough.  If everyone had a gun, maybe there would be less crime.

JOHN – Thanks Dwayne for your time and your honest answers.  I hope you never have to use your weapons for self-defense.

My second interview was with Billy:  Billy is 26 years old.  Billy served three years in the Marine Corp upon leaving high school.  After leaving the Marines, Billy went to a community college for two years.  He now works as a car salesman at a local Chevy dealership.  He is presently single but has a girlfriend and they are planning to get married in a year – Billy is very patriotic and I found him by a bumper sticker on his car which read:

JOHN – Are you afraid that we are losing America?

BILLY – No, but I think we are in danger of losing our lifestyle and our culture.  We are letting too many immigrants in who do not share our values.  You can’t assimilate as many people as we are letting in.

JOHN – But wasn’t America built by immigrants?

BILLY – Yes, but they were mostly Europeans and they had similar cultural values.

JOHN – Well, we had Indians and African slaves when we invaded this country.  We built a powerful nation with many people from many cultures who could not speak the same language.

BILLY – But they were not anti-democratic like many of the Arabic countries seem to be.

JOHN – The majority of immigrants for the past few years have been from Mexico and South America.

BILLY – These people are willing to take shitty low paying jobs.  They lower the wage levels for the rest of us.

JOHN – Maybe, but eventually they will work their way up the economic ladder like the Italians, Irish, Polish and many other cultures did; if they can get a fair break and some opportunities for education.   For the past eight years, the Right Wing Republicans have blocked and refused to discuss any immigration bills.

BILLY – Maybe none of the bills were very good.

JOHN – Then shouldn’t we all work together to pass a fair immigration bill?

BILLY – I just don’t know if that is possible.

JOHN – Well thanks for your time Billy.  Good luck with your work and upcoming wedding.

My third interview was with Roger:  Roger is 47 years old and has been divorced twice.  Roger has four children but is presently unmarried.  He has good relations with his first wife whom he had three children with.  His relations with his second wife with whom he had one child are nonexistent.  Their marriage was short but not sweet.  Roger works as a software developer for a local IT company.  He went to college for four years and has worked in IT since graduating twenty years ago.  I met Roger when I saw the following bumper sticker on his car:

JOHN – Why do you think abortion is wrong?

ROGER – It’s killing unborn children

JOHN – If they are unborn, how can they be children?

ROGER – All of this crap started with the women’s lib movement.

JOHN – What crap?  Do you mean women working and having a choice for their lives rather than just the bedroom and the kitchen?

ROGER – Women and men are different.  A woman’s role used to be to have children and raise a family.  No one talked about abortion years ago.

JOHN – But many abortions were still being done in back alleys by hacks who often killed the woman and the child.

ROGER – Abortion is killing.  I don’t think God created women with the idea that they would abort their own children.

JOHN – But a legal abortion takes place in the first trimester and the child is not formed yet or functioning cognitively.   It is more like killing a sperm than a human being.

ROGER – Many people would disagree with you.  You make it sound very clinical but what about the soul and spirit?  What if the unborn child has a soul and spirit that is already there?

JOHN – I could perhaps buy some of your argument except is it very hypocritical since most anti-abortion people have also opposed birth control and women’s rights.  Is this really about protecting life or controlling a woman’s choices?  I have also seen few if any birth controllers opposing capital punishment or for that matter any of our last few wars.  Isn’t this hypocritical?

ROGER – You are very good with words but I think we are talking about children who have not made a choice.  A criminal has made a choice and deserves what they get.  A soldier must make a choice and a nation authorizes a soldier to kill to protect others.  I do not think that these situations are the same as killing an unborn child who has never made a choice and who has not been asked whether they want to live or die.

JOHN – Thanks for your time and opinions Roger –

My final interview was with Cecelia:  Cecelia is a 40 year old Evangelical Christian from an independent church where its members all talk in tongues and are regularly visited by the “holy spirit.”  Cecelia went to college for four years and teaches special needs children in a grade school.  Her church is her family.   She attends service regularly and wears her religion as a badge of honor – She believes that “her” God is the right God and that he looks over the members of her church who are the true believers.  I found Cecelia when I spotted the following bumper sticker on her car:

JOHN – You seem to be pro a lot of things.  Wouldn’t God be pro-immigrants and pro-Muslims?

CECELIA – Muslims are not true believers.  They do not believe in our God.

JOHN – Isn’t there only one God?

CECELIA – God is God.  We believe in the one true God.  Non-believers do not accept God and thus God does not accept them.

JOHN – But I thought Christians believed in the teachings of Jesus Christ.  Did not Jesus teach us to be kind and to love everyone as brothers and sisters?  Why do you seem to hate immigrants, gays, minorities and other religions so much?  Would Jesus have acted this way towards others?

CECELIA – Jesus is our lord and savior- Whatever we do, we do in his name.  All honor and praise to the one true God who is our father.

JOHN – Are you saying that God would be for capital punishment, for hatred towards gays, for discrimination towards minorities and for excluding immigrants from a better life?

CECELIA – You are a non-believer, so you do not truly understand our lord.  Jesus cast the money lenders out of the temple because they were blaspheming the name of God.  We believe in casting out those who profane or disrespect our lord and sovereign.  We work in his name.  When Jesus comes again, he will save those who believe in him and he will banish the non-believers to eternal hell fire.

JOHN – Your idea of Jesus and what he stands for does not match my idea of his teachings and philosophy.  Why is it, your church always seems to talk about the Ten Commandments and God smiting the evil doers but I never hear any mention of Jesus and his 8 Beatitudes.   Does your God only love you?

CECELIA – Our God loves all true believers.

JOHN – Well, thank you Cecelia for your time.  May your God bless and watch over you.

After completing my interviews, one may well ask “What is your takeaway?”  There must be some sort of summary or moral point that you and I can glean from these brief conversations.  Aesop fables always have a moral point.  Most fairy tales and good novels always have a moral point.  Old TV shows always had a moral point.  What then is the point of these interviews?  What can we learn from them?  That is the question.  I am still pondering an answer –

Time for Questions:

What did you think about these interviews?  Did you get anything out of the conversations?  What questions should I have asked that I did not?  Were my responses to sharp or too weak?  Should I have challenged them more?

Life is just beginning.

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”  — Maya Angelou
 

A few days ago I was traveling with my wife Karen and we were listening to the Saturday Morning Blue Grass Review.  This is a radio show featuring acoustic music and hosted by Phil Nussbaum.  One of the tunes that was played was a Blue Grass rendition of the classic song by Roy Orbison called “Pretty Woman” (Click to hear the song).  I listened to the song and was suddenly struck by an idea. The song pretty much used the same lyrics and melody but much of the tempo, rhythm and instruments were changed.  I thought “Why don’t I rewrite the classics or at least some of them?”  I could do my own version of some of the greatest literature in English history.  I would select several classics and “rewrite’ them.

I shared this insight with Karen.  I explained that the creative rendition of this old classic song had given me the idea that I could apply the same concept to writing.  I could take the old classics and rewrite some of them to see how they would work with my own style of writing.  Karen replied “But in music, they don’t change the lyrics or basic melody.”  “True” I said, “but I am not going to change the basic plot or characters.  I will only change the dialogue.”  I have the opportunity and ability to rewrite the greatest literature in history.  The power and responsibility I am assuming seemed awesome.

When I was in high school, I loved to read but I cannot say that I really enjoyed English literature classes.  Looking back I think there were several reasons for this.

1. I could not pick the books that I wanted to read. They were picked by the teacher.
2. We generally read only parts of the “great classics.”
3. Somehow I never understood the “reason” these books were classics or what the relevance of these books for my life was. It was reading without comprehension or understanding.

By the way, before you write me off as a Luddite or some type of anti-reading crusader, please consider the following facts that pertained to me when I was young and in high school.  I loved to read.  I read more than anyone I knew.  I received high grades on all my English and literature tests.  And to put the icing on the cake, I received the highest grade in a reading and writing contest put on for the entire senior class at my high school. Now ask yourself, “What did most students in school get out of their English literature classes?”   I shudder to think if I cannot answer this question what my non-reading friends thought of their classes.  I do not think they ever really knew or appreciated the value of reading the classics.  However, I could now change history.  By rewriting the classics, I can rectify the problem for all future readers.  I can help legions of young people to see the value and beauty in reading the classics.  This is the awesome power that I referred to above.

The other side of the coin though is the responsibility problem; as Spider Man said “With great power, comes great responsibility.”

A thematic precursor appeared in a well-known Biblical verse: Luke 12:48. The Bible verse is as follows:

“From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”

I have a responsibility to avoid trivializing or diminishing the beauty and elegance that the great literature has for us.  We can make a musical or movie from these great works and often the outcome is quite positive.  For instance, considering that a biography of someone’s life (e.g. Abraham Lincoln) can be rendered in a 90 minute movie is somewhat amazing.  Many movies and musicals condense a lifetime into less than two hours.

We marvel that a book can be condensed into a 90 minute movie, but isn’t it just as interesting that an entire person’s life can be condensed into a book that might take less than ten hours to read.  We complain that movies leave out a great deal of the book upon which many are derived but we seldom complain that the books leave out a great deal more upon the subjects or topics from which they are derived.  Homer placed a ten year war between the Greeks and the Trojans into a 400 or so page book.  If the average person can read 30 pages in an hour, than the sum time reflected in Homer’s Iliad (at least in terms of reading) is 14 hours.

I note the above facts because I plan on shortening the classics in my rewriting to less than 3000 words.  Some of you will be aghast at this fact.  It will surely seem like I am planning to renege on my implied promise to preserve, nay, enhance the integrity of these great works of literature.  I assure you that this is not the case.  I will try to create some short works that I hope the original authors would find interesting in their own way.  It is not my intention to replace the great classics but simply to help some people understand what they are missing by not taking the time to read the actual works.  Perhaps I cannot succeed in this endeavor but over the next six weeks, I am going to give it my best effort.

I am going to review the following classics:

• The Iliad by Homer
• Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
• A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
• Macbeth by William Shakespeare
• Moby Dick by Herman Melville
• Out of the Crisis by Dr. W. E. Deming

I have tried to select some of my favorite classics and ones that are also familiar to many people.  The book by Dr. W. E. Deming is (I am certain) much less well known.  Nevertheless, it is a classic in the genre of business books and one that I have read and reread many times.  Anyone who wants to understand business, management or business leadership must read this book.  I will do some prologue to each book in my blog before I do my “classic rewrite” so I will not say anymore here about my selections.  I will begin next week with the book The Iliad by Homer.

Time for Questions:

How many of the above classics have you read?  What did you think about high school literature?  Why?  What did you enjoy most?  What did you enjoy least?  What were your favorite books?  Do you love to read?  If not, why not?  What would you change in terms of your literature education?  Can anyone really rewrite a “classic?”

Life is just beginning.

“Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it.  It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become.” — C. S. Lewis

The following story was written for my “Write-Now” class which is conducted by Dr. Carolyn Wedin a retired professor emeritus from the University of Wisconsin.  Dr. Wedin gave us a short email message she had received from a friend in Sweden about a cow that would not give milk.  The assignment for the class was to use any element or perspective from the email to write a story.  My story loosely embraces some of the key elements from the email but is of course embellished by my own writing fancies and imagination.  Since I generally write social and political commentary, this story might seem a bit odd. However, if you reflect on it a while after you read it, I think you will find that there is a message or at least a few morals from this tale that you can take away.

Once upon a time there was an old farmer and his wife who had a cow that suddenly decided to stop giving milk.  It was a Swedish cow and you know how stubborn those Swedes can be.  The old farmer was going to go out to talk to the cow but quite unexpectedly he choked to death on a bone in a piece of lutefisk.  His wife now inherited the farm, the chickens, the pigs and the stubborn Swedish cow who would not give any milk.

The farmer’s wife went out to talk to the stubborn Swedish cow and tried to explain that without any milk, she would not be able to keep the farm and would have to sell everything.  The chickens would go to Kentucky Fried Chicken and become original crispy chicken legs.  The pigs would go to Famous Dave’s Barbecue and become hot and spicy pork ribs.  Last but not least, she explained the stubborn Swedish cow would go to Mc Donald’s where she would probably become a Big Mac with Double Cheeseburger Sandwich.

But the stubborn Swedish cow would not budge.  “I am tired of giving milk she thought to her-self” and being a stubborn Swedish cow she was not moved by the farmer’s wife arguments.

The chickens and pigs heard all of the arguments though and were quite perturbed.  The chickens nominated one of their own to go and talk to the cow.  “How selfish of you and inconsiderate” the delegated chicken argued.  “You don’t care that we will become fried chicken; all you can think about is yourself.”  This line of attack did not persuade the stubborn Swedish cow.

Next, the pigs decided to have a talk with the cow.  In mass they went though, as pigs like to do everything together.  In one voice, they pleaded with the stubborn Swedish cow:  “Please don’t let us become barbecue ribs at Famous Dave’s we don’t want to die. We know you have your reasons, but we hope you will change your mind and save us all.  You may be a stubborn Swedish cow but deep down inside you are really a good bovine.”  This line of reasoning also failed to persuade the stubborn Swedish cow.

Unbeknownst to all, there was a small little field mouse that lived with his family in the great barn.  The field mouse had overheard the plight of the farmer’s wife and the arguments of the farm animals and was quite moved by their problem.  The field mouse was an avid reader and many of his kind would have called him an intellectual.  He was a follower of the famous Swedish philosopher Emanuel Swedenborg and also more recently the Swedish philosopher Nick Bostrom well known for his work on existential risk, the anthropic principle, human enhancement ethics, superintelligence, the reversal test, and consequentialism.  The little field mouse decided to try explaining the theory of the Anthropic Principle to the cow in the hope that logic would prevail where pure emotion had failed.

“Listen please” said the little field mouse to the stubborn Swedish cow “The Anthropic Principle is the philosophical consideration that observations of the universe must be compatible with the conscious and sapient life that observes it.  It is well known that cows give milk and to be a conscious cow, you have the obligation to perform this duty for the universe.”  Now the cow had recently been reading from the writings of Dr. Niklas Boström and was quite impressed with this line of thought.  “Yes”, reflected the cow, “even though I am a stubborn Swede, I am also a creature of the universe with an infinite obligation to take my proper place in the grand scheme of things.”

“You have convinced me” said the once stubborn Swedish cow to the little field mouse.  “Hence forth, I will take my rightful place in the universe and give milk every day as long as I am able, thus fulfilling my role in the grand scheme of things”

And the farmer’s wife, the chickens, the pigs, the once stubborn Swedish cow and the little field mouse and his family all lived happily ever after.

Time for Questions:

What strategy did the Farmer’s wife use on the cow?  The Pig and the Chicken?  How effective were these?  Could they have been more effective?  What strategy did the mouse use?  Why was it effective?  In real life, which strategies do you think work best?  Why?  Which strategy would you have used?

Life is just beginning.

“Here and there and not just in books we catch glimpses of a world of once upon a time and they lived happily ever after, of a world where there is a wizard to give courage and a heart, an angel with a white stone that has written on it our true and secret name, and it is so easy to dismiss it all that it is hardly worth bothering to do. … But if the world of the fairy tale and our glimpses of it here and there are only a dream, they are one of the most haunting and powerful dreams that the world has ever dreamed…”
― Frederick Buechner, Telling the Truth: The Gospel as Tragedy, Comedy, and Fairy Tale

Battle of Thermopylae: 480 BCE

This will be the war to end all wars.  We are fighting for peace and justice.  We have the moral high ground.  Our enemies want to destroy the world.  They seek a reign of terror and injustice.  We are the good guys, it is clear.  They are the bad guys, it is clear.  Good guys have the right to maim and kill.  We do it for the right reasons.  God is on our side.  This war will forever stamp out evil.  We will march and sing hymns of praise to God.  We will only kill those that need to be killed.  Women and children that get in the way are collateral damage.  We will save them from themselves.  The world and history will thank us.  Onward soldiers for God and country!

The Battle of Pharsalus: 48 BCE

This will be the war to end all wars.  If we don’t stop them now, they will soon be over here.  We must take the battle to them and show them we mean business. We are not afraid.  Have you ever heard of the Domino Effect?  If we let them take one domino, they will soon take them all.  Pretty soon, they will come to our country to take our dominoes.   We must keep our dominoes for ourselves.  No one else can be allowed to play with our dominoes.  What are a few thousand or million dead people?  We must destroy the village before we can save it.  We fight for a cause that is bigger than any one of us.  Forget yourself, charge the enemy.  Do not take any prisoners.  They would not be kind to you.

The Battle of Tours: 732 CE

This will be the war to end all wars.  We must be tough.  No one who wants to win can flinch in the face of the enemy.  Prime your rifles and mount your bayonets.  Charge on command!  Don’t think, just act.  Yours is not to reason why.  Follow your orders.  The enemy will not hesitate.  You must not give them any quarter.  They will slaughter your wife and children.  They will destroy your way of life.  Heroism and medals await those of you who put your lives on the line for your country.  Protect your flanks.  Never retreat.  When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

The Battle of Agincourt: 1415 CE

This will be the war to end all wars.  We have drawn a line in the sand and we cannot back down.  The die is cast and we must stand up to injustice and tyranny.  We will fight the good fight and God will be on our side.  God asks us to be brave soldiers and to never fear.  The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.  Cowards die many times before their deaths but heroes only die once, though sometimes it is a slow lingering death.  Never worry though, there is a special place in heaven for those who die in defense of liberty and justice and freedom.  There are also many medals you can earn and if you die in the line of duty, there are posthumous awards which can go to your survivors or nearest relatives.  Never fear, you will not be forgotten.

Battle of the Somme:  1916 CE

This will be the war to end all wars.  We must show them we mean business.  We are a nation of practical business people.  We are a nation that wages war like a business.  We do not mean to really kill anyone but it is just good business.  It is nothing personal you know.  We might even like you if the circumstances were different but it is good for the economy.  Practical matters aside, you don’t understand our economic system.  Perhaps, if we could kill you more impersonally, you would not object so much.  We can build more drones and you will not even see them coming.  We don’t want bodies on the ground; it is not good for business.  Good wars like any good business must be pragmatic.  If we kill a few millions of you perhaps you will understand that God wants us to succeed.  You must put your own personal problems aside when your country needs you.  Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country.  Be proud to die for your country and your economic system.

The Tet Offensive: 1968 CE

This will be the war to end all wars.  We fight for the greater good.  Right is on our side.  Might makes right and we are the mightiest nation on the face of the earth.  We are righteous and just and our enemies are cowards and liars.  We fight to make the world a better place to live and for future generations.  Our evil enemies only fight for themselves and their ill-gotten gains.  Our battle is wondrous.  Glory, glory, hallelujah!  Our God is marching on.  As he died to make men holy, let us die to make sure that all men are free.  Ours is never to reason why, ours is never to make reply, ours is simply to do or die.  There is no try.  Greatness awaits us in heaven for this small price we must pay on earth.  Never fear, you will get your rewards as all good soldiers must.  Remember old soldiers never die.  Their memories may fade away, but the glory of the valiant men and women who will give up their lives today to protect their native land will never be forgotten.  Stand firm now, toe to toe, shield to shield, rifles to rifles.  Be ready, be able and be willing.  One can ask no more than that you are willing to give up your life to end all wars.

This will be the war to end all wars,

No more war, no more war, ever again.

This will be the war to end all wars,

We are finally, yes finally, going to get the peace dividend.

Time for Questions:

Is there ever a good war?  What wars have ended all wars?  Have you ever fought in a war?  What were your experiences?  Why do we seem to have one war after another?  What will it take to end war?

Life is just beginning.

“The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.” —  George S. Patton