Years ago, I remember seeing a Twilight Zone story about a man and a wife who wanted to swap their bodies for younger ones. This story stuck in my head and helped influence the following story. I hope you will enjoy it.
There it was. The UPS Truck and the knock on the door. I had waited over six months but it had finally arrived. Like the saying goes “Good things take time.” I signed for the package or packages. She had been delivered in three boxes. The company had assured me she would be quick and easy to assemble. I called in to my business to tell them that I needed to take the day off. This was much more important than work.
But I suppose I must back up a bit to tell you the whole story. My name is Rob and about 12 months ago, my wife Leandra packed her bags and left a note on the kitchen table. It read “Gone with Pete, don’t love you anymore. Bye.” Pete was my best friend. I never suspected that Leandra was having an affair with Pete, much less that she was the slightest bit unhappy in our relationship.
I was stunned. We had been married for 10 years and she had never once complained about our relationship. I thought we had the perfect marriage. We had dinner together at least twice a week. We watched the football game every Monday night together. We attended church every Sunday together. We had sex on the average of once per week. She always said it was great sex. I thought we were happy together.
I am not a very sentimental person nor am I one to cling to the past. I decided I would move on with my life. I threw myself into my job and time went by. I had almost forgotten about Leandra when I saw the ad. It was from the Resurrection Android Company. It was the same company that I had purchased my android valet Sam from. Actually, Sam was much more than just a valet. Sam was a third-generation android with some independent powers of decision making. He could decide what to cook each day and he also decided what I should wear for work. He did cleaning, mending and many light repairs around the house. I had bought Sam shortly after Leandra and I were married. Leandra had mentioned that it would be nice to have some help with housekeeping and all. That way she would have more time to spend with me.
Androids of course are not human and they have no empathy or ability to show any emotions. Sam was logical and could be persuasive but he could not show love or compassion. In the ten years since I had purchased Sam, android technology had advanced considerably. Looking at the ad from the company, it appeared that they were now on a 15th generation android that had affective as well as cognitive abilities. The ad claimed that the new android could help replace a loved one both emotionally and physically. By integrating DNA characteristics using a technique called “Assisted human reproduction”, they could capture the exact characteristics of a loved one. All they would need would be some trace or remnant of the deceased or former loved one’s DNA.
That was when the idea occurred to me. I called the customer service line and asked to speak to a representative. I asked her whether it would be possible for me to create a new wife in the exact image of my former wife Leandra. They assured me it was. It would take about six months for the bio-engineering to integrate the mechanical aspects of the droid with the alleles and DNA strands that they could map from a sample of Leandra’s DNA. When the process was completed, I would have an exact physical, mental and emotional copy of Leandra. Even better, she could continue to be programmed and become an even better Leandra. The old Leandra was somewhat boring in bed. The new Leandra could become a wild and wanton partner if that is what I desired.
It did not take long to assemble the new Leandra. I put the lower torso, upper torso and head together in less time than it takes to make a milk shake. She was perfect. She looked just like my old Leandra. When I turned her on, she greeted me and asked, “What will my name be.” I replied “You are Leandra. You are the perfect wife. You will love and obey me always.”
The next year was the best year of my life. Leandra was perfect. She never argued. She never complained. She never talked back. She agreed with everything I said. She spoke only when spoken to. She had a beautiful body and after a while she became a real wild woman in bed. What more could a man want. Once again bliss had entered my life. And then it happened.
I came home one day from work and Leandra did not greet me at the door. I thought maybe her battery had discharged or that Sam had forgotten to recharge her. I had left strict instructions for Sam to recharge Leandra every day. But, where was Sam? I did not hear him fixing dinner in the kitchen. I went into the kitchen but Sam was not there. Suddenly, I noticed a note on the table. I picked it up. It was from Leandra. She had written: “Gone with Sam, don’t love you anymore. Bye.”
I could not understand this. I was angry. I was angriest at the Resurrection Android Company. They had sold me this traitor with a guarantee that she would be perfect. She was going to replace my old Leandra. Well, I would call the company and get my money back. I called and was transferred to the complaint department. They said “Why of course, you will get your money back. However, this will first need to go to our adjudication department to check the terms of the agreement. If they decide that we have violated the agreement, we will immediately send you a check for reimbursement. This is usually just a formality.”
One week later, an envelope from the Resurrection Android Company arrived in the mail. I opened it expecting to find a check. Instead, there was a letter. It read:
Dear Mr. Rob,
After carefully reviewing the terms of your agreement with the Android Company and the DNA sample that you sent us, we have found no violation of our guarantee with you. You specified that the new Leandra should be just like the old Leandra physically, mentally and emotionally. Her recent departure with your valet Sam is evidence that the new Leandra was just like the old Leandra.
We are very sorry for your loss.
Respectfully,
The Resurrection Android Company
Time for Questions:
Will robots ever replace people? Do you think someday we will have robot spouses? Are we going too far with robotics? Do you think robots help or hurt the world? What if robots could do all the work in the world that needed to be done?
Life is just beginning.
“California-based Abyss Creations is building a range of silicone sex dolls that not only look like real women but move and speak like them too. In the hope of making the most realistic sex doll yet, designers have created a bot that they claim can fall in love with its user.
An app called Harmony 2.0 allows the user to tailor their Real Doll’s “personality” by selecting from 18 traits – including happy, shy, sensual, funny, jealous, moody and talkative. Turn up the intellectual setting and it may even recite poetry or engage in witty banter. A new video has been released that shows the doll speaking, in which she describes sex as ‘one of the most fascinating things in the world.”
Karen says that I should start our annual holiday letter off because I write better than she does. Well, since it is the holiday season, I will let her slide. For my part, (Karen will add hers in a short while), I promise not to talk about politics, religion or philosophy. We are all sick of politics and you are probably only marginally interested in the latter two topics. What’s left then? Well, I was thinking that I just turned 70 in September. I never believed that I would see 30 years of age. Now here I am 4 decades later pondering the same mysteries of life that I pondered forty years ago. Feeling a little nostalgic, I got to thinking about the “firsts in my life.” For instance, my first kiss and my first job. So how about participating in a little nostalgia here and fire up your memories as well. I have posted a list of “my firsts” with my responses to each item. List is on the left with my responses to each one on the right. Can you remember your answers to my list? I would love to hear your list of firsts. Please post your FIRSTS in the comments section if you can remember what they are and don’t mind sharing.
Hi all. I think I’ll stick with my firsts for the past year. My first Dulcimer Jamboree in April, 2016 in Mountain View AR where I met the dulcimer 9 years ago. A fateful meeting it was. My first chromatic travel dulcimer which I took with me to New York in Nov. My first raised bed garden this past summer made from old discarded stock tanks. It produced more food than we could eat and it was so easy to weed and harvest. My first grandson, Garrick, getting married to Kat this coming spring. My first viewing of an opera at the Metropolitan Opera in NYC. My first concert in Carnegie Hall. My first trip up the Statue of Liberty and out to Ellis Island to look for ancestors.
It’s been a full, fun and sometimes exhausting year. We still work part time to support our “snow birds” lifestyle. I’m working with start-up home care agencies, teaching and consulting, and ICD 10 coding. John has taught both on-line and residence classes. We escaped our part time work with trips down to Kentucky for Kentucky Music Week, trips to the ocean in Puerto Penasco, Mexico, and a fall anniversary trip to Bayfield, WI. And, of course, the trips back and forth from WI to AZ where John tries to find new unspoiled routes each time we go.
Jesus talked about the three classes of good people. The first class hears his message but has little time to do anything about it. The second class hears the message and when convenient they try to help others and spread the message of Jesus. The third class commits their body and soul to sharing Jesus’s message. The third class of men/women make a commitment to doing this year round and 24/7. For the third class, it is not a onetime thing or something to be done when they have time or are not busy. It is a lifetime commitment to share his message with the world.
The Joy of Christmas is a state of fulfillment, contentment and gratitude. Through the love of others who give selflessly of themselves, we can all be free to experience a Joy that cannot be bought or traded. It is one of the reasons that giving and not receiving is said to be the true path to happiness. During the holidays, we are excited about the chance to give to others. And nowhere is that feeling of giving more delightful than in watching the face of a young child receive something that we know they really wanted. However, Joy to the World should mean more than just giving toys to tots. There are physical gifts which we can give but there are also emotional and spiritual gifts as well.
I am frequently critical of all the toy drives that I see going on at Christmastime. Not just because I think most kids in America have more toys than they know what to do with, but because of the message that this sends. Why not I ask, have a “books for tots” drive? Why not give books for a present? Why is it always about toys? We become so narrowly focused that we lose sight of the larger picture.
Thus, Jesus did not come to replace the commandments but he did come to go beyond the commandments. God brought the commandments to Moses but the message that Jesus brought to us is in addition to the commandments. Jesus extended the Ten Commandments with a list that has come to be known as the Eight Beatitudes. A beatitude is something that gives one both happiness and blessedness. Jesus gave these Eight during his famous Sermon on the Mount:
I am continually surprised by so-called Christians who seem to revel in the Ten Commandments but treat the Eight Beatitudes as though they were bastard children of Satan. When was the last time you heard anyone wanting to put up a statue or sculpture or sign with the Eight Beatitudes on it? The Message of Christmas is the Eight Beatitudes. The Joy that Jesus wanted to bring to the world can only come by following the Eight Beatitudes. If you call yourself a Christian but you do not practice these in you daily life, then you are not spreading the Gospel of Jesus.
words of the Beatitudes go beyond any one religion. They speak to a way of being in the world and a way of treating other human beings. Just as I have found valuable teachings in other religions, I think more Christians should be willing to share the Message of Jesus in the Eight Beatitudes. Keep in mind though, that sharing this message will never work unless you also live by the message. You must be the change you want to see in others. Do you know what the famous Indian Chief Sitting Bull said when asked what he thought of Christianity? Chief Sitting Bull replied: “I have read your Bible and the religion seems good but I do not see many White people practicing it.”
On Tuesday and Wednesday along with my good friend Vic Ward, I attended the 52nd Nobel Conference which was titled: “In Search of Economic Balance.” It featured many illustrious and highly respected economists such as: Dan Ariely, Orley Ashenfelter, Paul Collier, Deirdre McCloskey, John List and several other well-known economists. After every lecture, there was a panel discussion where the speaker and several of the other economists had a chance to discuss and interact. Following these discussions, my friend and I debated, discussed and summarized what we thought were the most important points of each lecture. I attended eight lectures, six panel discussions and numerous discussions each evening with Vic.
On the way back from St. Peter, we stopped Jim’s Apple Farm when we saw a sign that said “Next exit, Minnesota’s largest candy store.” I bought several treats for Karen and the guys at the library in Frederic. Jim’s lived up to its billing. It may just be the largest candy store in the US. It is certainly the largest candy store I have ever been in.
Karen having spent thirty years of her life in Home Health Care is much better grounded and infinitely more knowledgeable than I am in this area. Many of the ideas in the conference sessions were basic for her but for me the opposite was true. I had my eyes opened and many of my concepts about conditions such as Dementia have now been thrown out the window. I cannot begin to describe how much I learned at this conference and how valuable the ideas were for me.
Aging Capriciously 